Page 106 of Arranged Addiction

Except back then I didn’t know him the way I do now.

He was only Boss Bastard. I didn’t know his laugh, his smile, his touch. I didn’t know how it felt to kiss him and let him hold me. Life might’ve been simpler, but it was also gray and boring.

I miss Natalie. I’d bring her back if I could.

But I don’t actually think I’d trade the way things are now for the way I was back then.

“This is what it’s like when you care.” Siobhan glances at me, smiling slightly now. She seems more tired than I’ve ever seen her before. “You let it get inside and then it eats at you. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? But there’s nothing else you can do. No real alternatives.”

“I just want my husband to come home.”

“Good. I do too.” She pats the chair next to her and fills another glass of wine for me. “Come learn how to make a scarf. I bet you’ll like it.”

Reluctantly, I do my best to concentrate on what she’s telling me. Time passes like cold butter until there’s finally some action out front. I jump to my feet, and even some of Siobhan’s calm breaks and her anxiety leaks through.

Seamus comes into the room first. He nods to his mother as he unstraps a bulletproof vest. “I come bearing gifts.”

“Where’s Declan?” I can’t keep myself quiet any longer. I feel like I’m going to explode into a thousand little anxiety-filled pieces.

“Worried about me?” My husband limps in after his brother. He grimaces as he takes off his vest, and I notice a few slugs are trapped in the Kevlar. I run to him, almost screaming with relief, but stop short when I realize he’s clutching his chest.

“You’re hurt.” I tug at his shirt and make him show me what happened. An ugly bruise is blooming across his ribs on the right side. “You need a doctor.”

“I’m fine. Honestly.”

I want to argue, but there’s more commotion. Another group of men comes into the house. I crane my neck and spot them heading toward the basement door. My blood runs cold when I realize they’re Whelan soldiers dragging a partially unconscious and blood-covered Donnell behind them.

Declan’s hand is light on my lower back. “It’ll be okay, baby,” he says in my ear. “We’re handling it.”

“You aren’t handling anything.” I turn on him, squaring my shoulders and clenching my jaw. “You’re coming with me.”

His eyebrows raise, and he looks amused. “I have more work to do.”

“Seamus can ask Donnell questions. Unless you’re the only man in your family who knows how to torture people?”

“She’s got a point,” Seamus says, sounding amused. “I don’t mind. I already talked to Alina and let her know I’m fine.”

Declan clearly doesn’t like it, but I pull him from the kitchen and drag him upstairs to our suite. He grumbles the whole way about looking weak and the men thinking he’s soft, but I just ignore him.

“Sit down.” I steer him to the bed. “And now let’s get this off.” I help him remove the shirt.

“I told you already, Casey, I’m okay. It’s not even that—” He flinches and curses. “What the fuck was that?”

“I lightly poked you.” I do it again, and he snarls at me. “Are you seriously going to keep telling me you’re fine?”

“Because I am. It could have been worse.”

I freeze, feeling cold all over. “How close was it back there?”

He looks at me for a moment, and his face softens. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Just tell me the truth.”

“It was an ambush. Donnell was waiting for us. But we went in harder than he expected, and we got more than a little lucky. The old bastard was there in person thinking he’d get to witness my murder firsthand. Probably wanted to gloat over my corpse.”

I have to steady myself on the bed. I sink down beside him and lean against his shoulder, breathing in his smell, trying to remind myself that he’s here and it’s Donnell down in the basement.

“They knew you were coming.”