Page 4 of Apricity (Devil Dogs of the Apocalypse)

Hawk

Jax hops up to join Cole in the kitchen so I take advantage of some alone time with Aly, wrapping my arms around her waist and dragging her back onto my lap where she belongs. She fits like she was made for me. My missing puzzle piece. My sweetheart.

My heart.

Pressing my lips to the junction between her neck and shoulder, I can feel the shiver I create at the light touch.

I can’t imagine a time when the feel of her skin on mine and mine on hers won’t completely overtake my senses and send me into a spiral of lust and need.

I want to touch her everywhere, smell her arousal as it spills out of her, taste her perfection, hear her cries as I press into her, and see how her orgasm completely tears her apart before we put her back together.

I’ve never been one to fall in love, but for Aly, I’ve fallen hard and fallen fast. She’s my everything and without her I’m a miserable bag of nothing. I don’t want to say that I’m jealous, it’s not that. It’s more like suffocating and starving at the same time.

At the estate, I was, at least, able to have my little one-on-one date times with her. Fishing in the morning or just the two of us at night when she kicked Cole out of the room. That was before Jax joined us all, falling for her just as deeply as we had.

But here? In a one-room cabin congested to the roof with the four of us?

It’s just not possible. We’re constantly on top of each other.

Can’t even take a shit without everyone else hearing.

It’s almost always “all-of-us” time. And the small snippets when she actually is alone with only one of us is always for a purpose.

Those times when it’s not with me, I end up moping around the kitchen or sitting on the front porch like a kid that just spilled his ice cream cone on the ground.

I feel like my heart leaves when she goes.

I don’t even have an outlet to refocus my irritable mind when I get skittish like this anymore.

I used to rely on my music, but ever since the estate went kaboom with all my tunes inside, I’ve been stuck in perpetual silence.

That is, until she comes around and brings life to everything. But when she’s not around…

It’s painful, empty, foreign… I don’t like it .

Just the other day, I stood there staring out the window like a lost puppy while Cole took her to meditate or some shit out back behind the cabin.

It was his attempt to calm her recent anxiety attacks caused by her kidnapping earlier this year.

They’re not frequent, but when they come, they stop her dead in her tracks.

The meditation or whatever they were doing outside seemed to help calm her in the moment but it does nothing to prevent them all together.

It surprised me when he suggested it but, after giving it some thought, I guess it shouldn’t have.

Cole’s a medical professional, or at least that was his career choice before it no longer mattered anymore.

The fact that he knows so much about the mind and how to calm her overactive nerves is impressive.

Just as he impressed me with his knowledge of BDSM.

For years I had no idea about the kinky shit that fucker was into.

Thinking back to when we were still at the estate and even when we first took over Jax’s cabin, a whole new side of him was exposed to both myself and Jax.

Sure, we’ve lived with the guy, but he never brought back anyone to fool around with.

And we definitely never shared before Aly so of course there’s bound to be some stuff we were unaware of.

But Cole’s on another level all together.

While Jax and I are sitting here thinking we’re dungeon masters, we’re just looking stupid as hell as a love sick bard and a butt hurt barbarian while Cole’s a fucking wizard for crying out loud. A stealthy ass kink wizard.

A Kinkizard!

New Pokémon unlocked …

Thinking back to our little family meeting suddenly has me curious and intrigued.

Cole didn’t explicitly state his experience in detail but by only saying he’s not into a handful of things and making everything else a possibility is a little humbling.

I find myself wondering if I’m able to be as adventurous as the former shy one of the group.

“Chow’s up!” Jax calls from the other side of the room.

As if the awesome smells coming from that corner couldn’t have possibly indicated anything otherwise.

But then again, with me in my head over all this shit, he could have probably put a bowl in front of me and I wouldn’t have spared it a glance.

This isn’t me. The overanalyzing. The insecurity.

That’s more Jax’s style. Even the jealousy thing isn’t me.

I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe the close proximity- being stuck in a one room cabin the size of a shoebox- is getting to me.

I love my brothers as much as I love Aly, but…

I don’t know. I guess I just need something to look forward to.

With the estate, it was the same old same old.

Do your runs, get the supplies, go fishing, mess with the bitchy ass chickens, maybe swim in the lake.

There was stuff to do even if it was a bit redundant.

Then, Aly came into our lives and everything was new again, like I was seeing it through her eyes.

Now, here in this place, I just feel... stagnant.

I don’t know. Maybe Cole is onto something with the further exploration of our sexual fantasies together.

That might help settle my mind when it comes to the jealousy factor.

I can see how she is with each of us and how we’re all equal in her eyes.

And it would give us all something new to look forward to.

Or maybe I just have undiagnosed ADHD and I need to go for a run to work off all this excess energy.

Regardless of the matter, I find myself becoming more and more territorial where Aly is concerned.

It’s not like I’m about to piss on her or whatever but I’m finding myself drifting closer to her proximity, wanting to bury myself in her at all hours of the day just to make sure these two fuckers know. She’s mine too.

I take another second for myself, to hold Aly just a little more, rubbing my stubbly beard all over her neck and shoulder, marking her with red streaks that make me smile when I see them.

Mine.

I only get to do it a few times before she reaches behind her and swats me playfully on the side of my head.

“Ouch! Hawk! You know that hurts when you rub your fuzzies all over me!”

“Yeah, but you love it when you see my marks all over you.” I give her my best panty dropping smirk as my words make her blush.

She bites down on her lower lip just before I capture it, and the rest of her mouth, with mine, kissing her silly.

It's not until we're both out of breath that I finally stand, lifting her with me,and make our way over to the table.

Normally, it’s Jax that likes to leave his little marks.

Bites, bruises, beard rash. If it can leave a mark, he would probably do it.

From what I’ve learned since he started joining our little grouple, the man is as primal as they come.

A walking talking pissy-ass bear. I wonder if he’s into all that prey/predator chasing stuff.

Now that could be hot….

Note to self: bring up “chasing” or “hunting” to Cole when we do our Kinky Fuckers Anonymous meeting.

Cole and Jax are already comfortable in their usual seats, with Aly taking the seat next to Jax and across from Cole, as I take the one on her other side. My hand drifts to her naked thigh, still unable to keep away from her.

She’s wearing one of Jax’s t-shirts that’s about eight sizes too big and resembles more of a dress or a night shirt but it doesn’t matter, my sweetheart still looks absolutely beautiful.

I don’t even care that it’s Jax’s when I’m able to slowly graze the soft skin of her inner thigh, teasing her throughout our entire dinner.

It flies by, and before we know it, we’re all in bed together, scrunched as tightly as can be but cozy nonetheless.

My thoughts still bombard my overactive brain but my shoulders lower slightly, my muscles relaxing from their tense state, and I release a sigh of contentment as my sweetheart, our beautiful woman, chooses to slide just a little bit closer to me.