Page 30 of Alpha & Omega (Alpha's Rejects #4)

“How are you feeling after everything that’s happened, Kingston? It’s been a month since your accident,” my therapist said. She was an attractive older woman with gray hair cut into a pixie with kind green eyes.

Dr. Michelle Ambrose had been my therapist for years. If anyone knew my deepest, darkest secrets, it was her. And she’d never steered me wrong. I should’ve come to see her sooner, but when you’re so buried in your own shit, you don’t want to do much of anything. Depression was a slog to get through. It was only through the push and uplifting from Harley and my family that I got my head out of my ass.

“Physically?” I shrugged. “I still hurt off and on. The phantom pain is getting better, but there are moments when I have to brace myself, feeling like my leg and foot are being set on fire or electrocuted.”

“You’re keeping up with your mirror therapy?”

“Yes, every day.”

“And how are you emotionally?”

My sigh was heavy. “Much like my phantom pain. Some days are better than others. Not having my leg and having to readjust my life hasn’t been easy. Some days, I get by just fine and try to normalize things, but there are times my loss leaves me suffocated. My mind toys with me, reminding me I’ll never skate as I once did. I’ll never be a part of a championship again or keep up with my family. I’m still financially struggling, but it’s getting to where I can breathe a bit easier. Losing my independence has been even harder. I’ve been so used to doing everything on my own. But mostly, I hate looking at my leg. I hate not being able to see it anymore. I hate being off balance all the time. And I especially hate when I’m itchy, but have nothing to scratch.”

“These are all reasonable feelings, King. Losing a part of your body is nothing to scoff at. It can make you feel perpetually incomplete. But remember that this doesn’t define the man you are. The man who took in a bunch of skaters when they had no one. The man who gave them a safe place to work. The man who supports the LGBTQ+ community. The man who will still be remembered for his skateboarding skills. And a man who finally has love in his life. What I’m saying is to try to remember who you are and all the good you’ve done. It can be easy to forget when you’re struggling, but you’re still you, and you’re still special. It’s no easy thing climbing out of the foster care system to be successful.”

I nodded and chuckled. “Yeah, I’m trying. Harley and my family also like to remind me of that. But then there’s the fear… I’m still really struggling with getting in a car. I mean, I can do it if I have to, but I feel the panic to the point where I can barely think and breathe. I’m not sure I’ll be able to buy a new car and drive again. It’s easier to be a passenger, I think, than a driver.”

“I think with continued therapy, you’ll be able to do it once more. It’s not unusual to be nervous or even have panic attacks after an accident such as yours. But you’re on the right track, Kingston. You’re realigning your priorities, moving forward instead of backward, and focusing on what’s important. The rest will come with time. Do you feel you would do better on antidepressants?”

I’d been on them before, but I assumed she asked me because she felt I didn’t really need them.

I huffed a humorless laugh. “No, I’m on enough drugs as it is. Honestly, I already feel better talking about this. Talking to Harley helps, too. He always listens and never judges… I’m not sure what I would’ve done without him.”

“I’m pleased you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”

“Thanks. Me, too. He does more than make me happy. He makes me feel whole, even when I’m not. He’s been a goddamn saint. I love him.”

After strength and range-of-motion physical therapy, I sat in the kitchen to eat a sandwich Harley had made while he took a shower. He had to work tonight since it was Friday.

My body grew stronger every day, and all this therapy got me ready for walking and using a prosthetic. It was tedious, but where I was reluctant at first and wanted to resist, I was eager to get around without crutches. I’d still have to use them now and again, and probably for the rest of my life, but soon, I’d have more mobility freedom.

As I listened to the water run through the old building as Harley showered, I realized there was something important missing in my life, and it wasn’t my leg. It was Harley. He took such good care of me while juggling my business, his business, and Hudson. I swore he became my fucking superhero. And he never once complained. Even worse, I rarely asked how he was doing through all this, so wrapped up in my own issues. I felt like such a shit.

I plopped my sandwich on my plate, determined to give him something in return. I couldn’t give much, but maybe my love would be enough for now.

Grabbing my crutches, I hobbled back to my bedroom, stripped out of my clothes, and headed toward my bathroom. After leaning my crutches against the wall next to the shower, I pulled back the curtain. Harley suddenly turned around wide-eyed before his expression softened when he smiled.

“Hey, Skaterboy. ”

“Hey, Chef. Want company?”

“I’d love some.”

He held out his hand and helped me inside the tub, which wasn’t easy. I had to sit on the edge and then climb in before standing.

“This is a surprise,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.

“We shower together all the time.”

“You know what I mean, smartass.”

I ran my hands over his wet and slick body, dragging my fingers through his delicious chest hair. “I miss this.”

“You haven’t been well, baby.”

“I know, but still… I miss the intimacy, and I’d like to remedy that.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Yes, because only you are getting off.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“Fairness is what we make it, Chef. I just… want to touch you if that’s okay. Not sure if I can get it up, but if I can, we can fool around more.”

Harley leaned his head forward and took my lips in his before swiping his tongue along the seam, gaining entry into my mouth. Our tongues and mouths explored before we pulled away.

“It’s more than okay,” he breathed over my lips.

“Don’t let me fall.” I meant that more than just physically.

“Never.”

It may have looked easier than standing on one leg continuously, but my right leg still needed more strength building, so Harley, holding me up, relieved some of the pressure.

I reached for where the shower gel sat on the shower caddy and grabbed it. I poured some into my hand and put it back.

My lathered hand wrapped around his length, and I explored his hardening cock. “Fuck, I fucking miss him.”

Harley’s smirk turned crooked. “He misses you, too.”

His arms never left my body, careful to keep me from slipping in the wet tub as I stroked him. I rested my head on his wet shoulder, and his head rested on mine as his breath grew faster, loving the feel of his beard on my skin. I swear, I was obsessed with all his hair for some reason. I loved the long tendrils on his head, his beard, chest hair, happy trail, the dark hair on his gorgeous forearms, and the hair on his ass. He was perfect.

“Mmm, your hand is so much better than mine.”

I chuckled and stroked him faster and harder, twisting my hand as I neared the tip before swiping fingers over the head.

“Next time, I’ll suck on you. I miss your taste, too.”

He just groaned as he thrust into my hand, still holding on to me.

One of his arms held me tighter as his other slid up my back, and his fingers dug into the back of my scalp, my hair still too short to hold on to.

Harley thrust in sync with my hand movements before he suddenly froze, and I was hit with hot spurts of cum all over my hand and abs.

A moan slipped out of him, and he bit my shoulder, but not too hard to where it was painful. “That was way too fast,” he complained.

“We have plenty of time for more, baby.”

He slowly stood straight while still holding on to me. “Kiss me, Skaterboy.”

I took his face between my hands and made love to his mouth. It wasn’t a gentle kiss. My kiss was my vow to him that I’d do better and make us work. That I would love him forever or for however long we had on this planet.

My fingers threaded through his long strands as he sucked and nipped, our breaths sustaining us.

“You’re everything to me, Harley Creed. Fucking everything. Maybe I would’ve survived this. Maybe I would’ve been fine eventually, but you helped heal me faster with your kindness, patience, and love. It would’ve taken a hell of a lot longer without you. I’m grateful every single day for you, and I don’t tell you nearly enough.”

“And you’re everything to me, baby. I’m grateful you let me be a part of your fascinating life.”

We held each other in the shower for who knows how long—a long embrace like we just needed to soak in the love we had for each other. I wish I’d known earlier that men like my chef existed in the world.

No, I didn’t. Because then I would never have met him.

Once we rinsed and dried off, we crawled into bed. I sat on top of the covers as Harley took my stump, still looking mangled though the stitches had been removed, and started rubbing the skin and muscle. I could do it myself, but sometimes he did it because he was sweet like that.

Next, he gently slapped around the skin for a while before massaging it again. We had to do this a few times a day to desensitize the area. If I wanted to wear a prosthetic, I couldn’t be overly sensitive; otherwise, it would always be uncomfortable.

I was resistant at first to Harley touching my residual limb, but as time went on, I got used to it. It wasn’t about the pain, but someone else exploring areas that made me uncomfortable, like a reminder that something was wrong with me.

When he finished, he kissed my mangled limb, and then he leaned against the headboard, grabbing the book he’d been reading, and I curled up next to him.

“What are you reading?”

He closed the paperback and showed me the cover.

“ With or Without You ,” I read. “What’s it about?”

“This one is a coming-of-age story between two boys who became best friends at age ten. Their names are James and Dustin. They secretly loved each other as they grew up, but never said a word about it. Their community was very small and religious. Their fears were justified. James’ parents had been killed in a… sorry.” Harley gave me a sheepish smile.

“A car accident?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s okay. Go on.”

“Well, after his parents died, James was taken away to another state to live with his grandparents. The boys were sixteen at the time. Of course, they both regret never sharing a first kiss before they got separated.”

“Do they ever meet up again?”

Harley smiled and kissed my head. “Of course. I only read romances, which means there’s always a happy ending.”

“Always?”

“Yep. But right now, I’m at the part where they see each other at college for the first time. They both went to the same school after making a vow they would always stick together.”

“Sounds sad.”

He chuckled. “It is a little, especially when they can’t be themselves and love who they want to. But now that they’re in college, things will change.”

I snuggled into him more and rested my head to read over his shoulder. “Read me some.”

“You sure? You might get as addicted as me.”

I laughed. “Yeah, go for it. I’ve never been a big reader since I really struggled with school after I was abandoned, but I’d like to be.”

Harley flipped to the page that was bookmarked and started to read.

I hadn’t seen James in over two years. His blond hair was the same, and his green eyes still looked like gems. But he was taller and so much broader than I remembered, and his face looked tense and a little mean. He clearly wasn’t happy, which broke my heart. I hadn’t been happy either since his grandparents never let us talk over the phone or write to each other, like they somehow knew I was gay.

But when he glanced my way, standing between dancing bodies at the party, all those hard features softened as soon as he saw me. His eyes grew wide, and he frowned, not in anger but in grief.

Like a magnet, he plowed through the crowd, almost in slow motion like you saw in the movies, as he made his way toward me.

I dropped the beer bottle I was holding, uncaring that it spilled everywhere, and rushed to James, my long-lost best friend. My first love. My only love. I’d never kissed anyone, saving myself just for him.

I imagined this day so many times in my head, never believing it would truly happen, but always hoping.

Just like in my fantasies, James reached me, cupped my face, and pulled me into my very first kiss. The kiss that was always meant to be.

I closed my eyes as I listened to Harley’s soothing, deep, resonant voice, enjoying the story of the boys’ reunion until, eventually, sleep found me.

That night I dreamed of love and hope—no nightmares.