Page 20 of Alpha & Omega (Alpha's Rejects #4)

God, I felt Harley’s pain leech from his skin. He was stiff from holding back his anger and grief. I understood exactly how he felt and agreed with his reaction, but it wasn’t my place to get involved.

I’d just come downstairs after getting dressed when I heard voices. Staying on the stairs, I sat down to listen, not wanting to intrude. Fine, I was a little nosey.

The yelling must have woken up Hudson, so he came downstairs and sat next to me, clearly shaken as he hugged his legs and rocked back and forth. I put an arm around his trembling shoulders as we eavesdropped. At least he stopped shaking so much while I held him.

When he heard she was dying, he tried to run into the kitchen, but something told me to hold him back. He fought me, so I let him go. I wasn’t his father. All I could do was support Harley as much as possible. When I stepped into the kitchen, he looked like he was barely holding it together.

When Hudson said he would spend time with his mother, the anxiety surrounding Harley was palpable.

“I’m going, Dad,” Hudson said.

“No…” he said again, but this time not as forcefully as if he was giving in to the inevitable. “Please. She’s going to hurt you over again.”

Hudson nodded. “I know she’s going to leave again no matter what, but I need to do this… Not for her, but for me. I need my closure, Dad, and for her to finally say goodbye and let me go.”

Harley sagged into me, and I held him close. “I… okay.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

His son looked at his mother. “Let me get ready, and we can go somewhere to talk.”

Ava nodded and wiped her face with tissues she’d grabbed from her purse. “Thank you.”

The boy said nothing as he left the kitchen and headed upstairs to get ready.

“Leave and wait outside,” Harley said, gritting his teeth to hold back the emotions. “If you hurt him, so help me god… You have two hours with him, then I want him back, and you are done with him for good.”

Ava looked back and forth between Harley and me, saying nothing about him being with a man, but she must’ve known Harley was bisexual all along. She finally nodded and stood. “Thank you for this.” She left to wait outside for Hudson.

His son came rushing down the steps and ran out the door, which slammed behind him, making Harley jump.

He stood and went about cleaning the kitchen, putting away the uneaten food, washing the dishes, scrubbing the counters. I stood with him, helplessly watching as he stress-cleaned before sense took hold of me .

I reached for him and turned him to face me. He fought back his emotions until I pulled him into a hug. His body was warm and a little clammy. He gripped the back of my T-shirt and rested his head on my shoulder.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to go through this again,” he rasped. “The first time was so emotionally and mentally exhausting. Hudson and I finally found our peace and are happy. I’m… not a monster, King, and I’m sorry she’s dying, but fuck… we all would’ve been better off not knowing.”

“No, you’re not a monster. And, yes, she should’ve stayed away. It isn’t fair to anyone. I understand needing to fix things before you die, but all this does is leave more suffering behind.”

“Thanks. You get it. I… can’t tell you how much I appreciate this… validation. For years, I had to handle this alone. Yeah, I had therapy, but I was still alone.”

“You’re not alone anymore, Chef. And Hudson is so lucky to have you.”

Harley eased me off him, but gripped my shoulders. “I know you need to go see Tony.”

“I see him every week. Why don’t I call him and reschedule? I don’t mind staying with you. We can watch those rom-coms you wanted.”

“No. Don’t put your life on hold. Really, I’ll be okay.”

I sighed, torn between leaving and staying, despite what he said. He needed someone and not to be alone right now.

“You can come by later if you want. I have to work, and I’m sure you do, too, but… anytime, Skaterboy.”

His sheepish smile didn’t reach his eyes, but I smiled back. “Okay. Call me if anything changes or you need anything. I can come over after work, and we can stay up until dawn watching those movies or something.”

That pulled a small smile from him and called it a win. “I will.”

I drove down to Washington to visit with Tony. I’d texted him to remind him I was coming, but he never responded. Whenever he didn’t respond quickly, I always worried something had happened to him, or he slipped back into drinking. I needed to trust him, but Tony didn’t always do what was best for him. While he’d been supportive and helped take care of me in foster care, he often forgot to take care of himself, not unlike Nacho. Although Nacho never fell into drinking or drugs.

An hour later, I drove through the city streets, seeing the buildings fall further and further into disrepair as I reached the less fortunate areas.

When I found parking, I headed up to Tony’s floor and knocked on his door.

There was no answer, and I mumbled a curse at myself. Did he forget? He never forgot. I almost always showed up each week.

I knocked again, but there was still no answer, and I couldn’t hear movement.

After pulling out my phone, I dialed Tony’s number to find out where he was and when he’d be back. I couldn’t wait forever because I needed to get back on time for work tonight.

As soon as the phone rang, I heard it ring on the other side of the door.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled.

Did something happen, or was he ghosting me?

I hung up and pounded on the door more forcefully this time. “Open the damn door, Tony. Now! I’m not leaving until you do.”

Worry twisted in my gut that he’d fallen again. Fuck, and he’d been doing so damn well, but I understood addiction enough to know that it didn’t take much to fall off the wagon.

Some shuffling could be heard on the other side, and then the locks clicked open, and the chain slid off.

He cracked his door open, hiding half of his face when he looked at me. “I’m not feeling well.”

I scanned his eyes for any signs of drinking, which were clear, and I didn’t smell anything, so I relaxed. “Why didn’t you let me know you felt sick? I could’ve brought you some meds and soup or something.”

His eyes were downcast, unable to look at me. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, I mean, you sound fine. What are you sick with?”

“Uhm… you know… ah, just my, uhm, stomach.”

Bullshit. Why was he lying to me ?

I shoved my way inside, ignoring his protests, and turned to look at him. Suddenly, my hands fisted at my sides, ready to fucking hurt someone.

“What. The. Fuck. Happened. To. Your. Face?”

The right side was bruised and swollen. No wonder he hid his face behind the door. He didn’t want me to see it.

Tony kept his eyes glued to his feet. “I crashed my bike and shit. It’s no big deal.”

“Again? You just got your license back,” I said, though I sensed he was still lying to me.

“Yeah, some asshole cut me off, and I over-corrected.”

I stood closer to him to inspect his injury. “What about the rest of you?”

“I’m fine, King. Really. It’s no big deal.”

It was plausible, but that sensation that he’d lied to me kept niggling in my brain. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t pinpoint what.

“Were you drinking again?”

Tony straightened his spine and fisted his hands at his sides. “No! Why can’t you trust me? I didn’t touch anything.”

“Okay… you’re right. I’m sorry. I do trust you. It’s just that I’m getting flashbacks from the last time, and I’m worried about you. Do I need to take you to the doctor?”

“No! I’m good.”

His outburst wasn’t like him, but I guess I’d upset him.

“Okay. Sorry, Tony. How about I go grab us some lunch and we can chat for a while?”

“What I’d like is to be left alone.”

I tried not to let the sting of his words hurt me. He was really off, but I didn’t want to push him any more than I had.

With a nod, I walked to his door and opened it. “I’m… sorry I upset you.”

He grabbed my arm. “I’m not mad at you… only frustrated, and I really do want to be alone for a while.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Feeling a bit defeated by the emotional morning and upsetting Tony, I drove home and took a quick nap before I had to get ready for work.

A nap didn’t improve my morose mood, nor did it improve after a shower and a quick bite to eat. It had been a rough day, but I couldn’t figure out exactly what was bothering me.

By six in the evening, I walked into my bar with classic rock playing in the background and a few patrons drinking at the bar. It’d get busier later, but the few people in here reminded me of my finances, or lack thereof, which did nothing to improve my mood. To make matters worse, I texted Harley earlier, but he never responded. So then I was worried about him on top of everything else.

I stepped into my office, but when I tried to close the door behind me, someone stopped me. I turned to face the bleached blond man and scowled at him.

“Yikes, man. That look could peel paint,” Stix said before he suddenly brightened. “Say, that could work on a T-shirt. I need to write that down.”

“What do you need, Stix?”

He plopped his ass down in the spare chair, put his hands behind his head, and propped his feet up on my desk. I knocked them off, and he sat up straight, completely unfazed.

“Moody much? Seriously, you walked in looking rather gloomy, so I figured I’d ask what’s up.”

“Nothing’s up.”

“So everything’s down?”

I rolled my eyes at the ceiling, not in the mood for Stix’s normal poking and prodding with every other word a fucking snark. God love him, but fuck, I couldn’t deal with it at the moment.

“I’m fine.”

“Sorry, but I’m not buying it. You always tell us we need to talk shit out, be communicative, seek therapy, blah blah blah… and what do you do? Build walls to hide behind. And before you say anything, it’s because of you I learned infinite wisdom through therapy, so yeah… out with it.”

“I’m fine,” I said again, though it came out as weak.

“Dude, let someone else take care of you for a change, stubborn ass.”

I sat on my office chair and ran my hands through my hair, which was in desperate need of a cut.

“It’s just been a rough day. Harley’s ex-wife showed up out of nowhere after eight fucking years to claim she’s dying to see Hudson one more time. So, Harley’s understandably freaking out. After that, I visited Tony, who looked beaten, saying someone had run him off the road. He was lying, but I don’t know about what exactly. And…”

The last thing I wanted to tell Stix was about my financial troubles. He would only feel guilty and stressed, and he would no doubt run off and blab to the others, stressing everyone out.

“And what?”

“And nothing. I’m just worried about shit.”

I rested my elbows on my desk and my face in the palms of my hands. “And maybe I think I’m falling for Harley. I really wanted to tell him today. It isn’t the best timing for that, but it also scares the shit out of me. Even after all my therapy, that fear he’ll leave is visceral. After everything went down today, I feel like I’m in the fucking way. He’s going to have to deal with grief all over again with Hudson.” I finally glanced at Stix, not intending to spew everything. “Sorry.”

“Sorry about what? That you feel shit and you’re worried? Or that you talked about it? Please… You’re fine. Although, I can’t tell you how my body is vibrating in excitement right now that you’re falling for Harley. Don’t be afraid. Look at the rest of us. We were all scared, but we managed to find love and happiness. You need this, and we all want to see you happy, Alpha.”

I smiled for the first time today. “Thanks, Stix.”

“Your worries are reasonable, but you also worry about everyone and everything. It’s okay to worry about yourself. The best thing to do with Harley, I think, is to talk to him about how you feel and be there for him. No doubt he needs you as much as you need him.”

I snorted a humorless laugh. “You don’t even know him… not really.”

“I know enough, and I know you.”

“Yeah, thanks. Honestly, I do feel better getting it all off my chest.”

He grinned broadly and smacked the armrests of the chair with his hands before standing. “Then my job is done here. ”

I shook my head and chuckled as he walked out the door, and I got ready for the night.