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WORM

W orm’s cock slips from Allison’s warm heat. He can feel their combined release leaking out in the wake of his cock. He rolls to the side, taking her with him. He needs to hold her, keep her close. It occurs to him; he didn’t use a condom. He’d gotten so caught up in giving her pleasure and enjoying the pleasure she gave him he didn’t even consider putting one on. Allison didn’t seem to mind or even notice. He will talk to her about it later, but right now he doesn’t want to ruin the afterglow of their love making.

Allison snuggles her head onto his chest. He tightens his arms around her. She slips her right leg up over his, plastering her body along the right side of his. She sighs again, then grows still. Her breathing becomes even and deep as she drops into slumber.

Russell lays awake holding her. He marvels at the fact they are here, together. He’d been so worried the entire time she’d been missing. He had hardly slept in the last three days. He needs to sleep, but he doesn’t want to miss a second of having her in his arms. He’d been afraid he would never get to hold her again. As hard as he tries though, sleep eventually claims him.

Worm’s eyes fly open. A whimper draws his attention to the woman who is asleep in his arms. They’ve woken this way several times during the night. Allison’s body jerks and another cry leaves her lips. Worm runs his hand over her head. “Shh, baby. You’re okay. You’re safe,” he says softly, stroking her bare back with his hand. He looks down at her face. Her eyes are tightly closed, but he can see them darting back and forth under her lids. She’s having another nightmare.

“Wake up, sugar,” Worm says, a little louder while giving her shoulders a gentle shake. Allison’s eyes open with a wild look in them. They dart around the dimly lit room before settling on Worm. The moment they land on him. Allison’s tense body relaxes.

“Russell?” she questions. Her voice cracks. A single tear trails down her face. Worm catches it with his thumb wiping it away.

“Yes, sugar. I’m here,” Worm murmurs to her while continuing to catch her tears that are leaking from her eyes. “You’re safe. We’re in Denver, remember?” Allison’s face scrunches up as she takes in his words. Understanding lighting in her eyes.

“I remember now,” she croaks out. She swallows, then continues. “I…I had a bad dream.” Worm nods. He had suspected as much. He wants to know the nature of her dream. Perhaps there is a way he can ease her fears further, but he doesn’t want to push her, to force her to relive the memories that have led to her restless, fitful sleep.

He pulls her close, holding her to his chest. She relaxes into him, wetness leaking onto his bare skin. She is gutting him with her tears. Tears that he can do nothing to stop. It makes him feel helpless, which is a feeling he hates more than any other. “I was back in that room,” she confesses after a few minutes. “I-I couldn’t get out. Th-There was only one door, but it was locked. I…I could hear them torturing you.” Allison raises her tear-streaked face to look at him then. The fear and desperation clearly evident on her face. He can sense just how deeply the dream has affected her.

“I’m right here, sugar,” Worm assures her. “They haven’t harmed me.” She nods as more tears fall. He pulls her down for a kiss. One that conveys all the things he is feeling and wants her to feel, in this moment: that he is real and here with her, his concern for her and everything she’s been through in the last three days, his love.

Wait! What? Love? Is that what he’s feeling for her? The thought has him pulling back. He needs to clear his head. He isn’t ready for love, marriage, and all the things that go along with that line of thinking. He has his own family to take care of. His mom and his sisters. He can’t be thinking of anything else. Not until he knows his mom has her shit together enough to take care of herself and his sisters. Speaking of them, he hasn’t called to check on them since he left to come here.

Allison looks a bit startled at his abrupt end to the kiss, but she doesn’t question him about it. She rolls away from him to the other side of the bed. “I’m going to take a shower. What time do we leave?” He closes his eyes. He has hurt her. He didn’t intend to do it, but he has. He should try to explain himself, ease her concerns, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t want to give her false hope that they can be more than what they’ve been. Friends with benefits. The mere thought of those words turns his stomach. Allison is more than that, but he can’t allow himself to think that way. Leigh, Amber, and Sadie are depending on him. He is just one man. He can’t be everything to all of them. Can he?

Allison slips out of the bed taking the top sheet with her, wrapping it around herself. She doesn’t look back as she heads to the bathroom. It occurs to him he hasn’t answered her question about when they are heading to Jacksonville. “Our flight leaves at one fifteen,” he says just before she steps inside the bathroom. She pauses, listening, then nods before closing herself off to him.

Dammit! Worm berates himself. He has fucked up. He has hurt her after they’d had an amazing night of making love…no, not that, sex. It was just sex. He jumps up from the bed that still smells like Allison and sex. He needs to get away from the reminder, clear his head. He grabs his jeans off the floor and shrugs them on. He runs his hand through his hair. He is making things worse for her instead of better. He shouldn’t have slept with her last night. It’s only blurring the lines that he needs to set with her.

Wandering into the other room, he sees the leftovers of their meal last night. The meal that had led to the second-best sex of his life. His eyes drift closed as he recalls every touch, every little sound that had escaped her as he’d pleasured her and himself. He shakes his head to erase the memories, but he knows they are forever burnt into his mind.

He needs advice. He pulls out his phone and pulls up his favorites. It’s a long list that not only includes his family, but every one of his teammates. They would all be willing to help him with his situation, but he doesn’t want to ask one of the men who has a steady woman. He knows they will try to convince him to give Allison a chance, to give love a chance. That isn’t what he needs to hear even if it’s what he wants to hear. He has a responsibility to his family, first and foremost. He can’t allow an infatuation with the gorgeous woman to keep him from his duty.

He calls Mercury, who he knows avoids entanglements with women like he’s avoiding leprosy. Of all of Worm’s teammates, he feels certain Mercury will help him keep a clear head when it comes to matters of the heart…uh, sex. Yes, matters of sex and not letting the sex mess with his brain. Yeah, that’s what he needs Mercury to tell him, to keep him grounded and focused on his obligations to the team and family.

“Cooper,” Mercury answers. His familiar voice calms Worm’s frayed nerves, which he has allowed to run rampant. Worm takes a deep breath, to steady himself. All of his teammates know him as well as or better than he knows himself. Mercury will know instantly that something is wrong with him. Worm is suddenly having second thoughts about discussing what’s going on with him. He had just let his worries over his family get him all worked up and imagine problems where none exists, right?

“Worm, you alright man?” Mercury’s question drags Worm out of his head again and back to the present.

“Yeah,” Worm answers, flatly. He runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I called.”

“Something is up,” Mercury states, matter of factly. “Just talk it out with me, you’ll feel better.” Worm rolls his eyes. Of course, Mercury sensed something is troubling him. He sighs, knowing the damage is done and Mercury won’t let it go until he confesses what’s caused him to call his friend out of blue at—he glances at his watch—six am on a Sunday morning.

“I’m just making a mountain out of a molehill. I called to have you talk me down,” Worm laughs at the ridiculousness of his confession. He really is losing it.

“I doubt that,” Mercury says. “Just tell me what’s got you concerned and we will work this out.” Mercury, always the calm rational one. Just the man Worm needs.

“I need this to stay just between you and me, okay?” Worm asks.

“Of course, if that’s what you want,” Mercury answers immediately.

“It’s just…I don’t want Wallace on my case, you know?” Mercury snorts out a short chuckle.

“Yeah, I can understand that,” Mercury agrees. “What’s happened? You went to meet Emma’s cousin in Denver, right?” Worm is nodding, then realizes Mercury can’t see him.

“Uh, yeah. Something happened to her while she was missing and I just felt like I should meet her, even though Dude had said he would accompany her all the way to Jacksonville. I shouldn’t have come, though.” He sighs heavily. The weight of everything that’s happened in the last week hitting him like a ton of steel. He drops to the couch, his hand running through his hair again. Has it only been a week since he met Allison for the first time?

“What happened?” Mercury prods. “Did you sleep with her?” Worm closes his eyes. Here goes everything. He needs to get all this off his chest. He needs to tell someone.

“Yeah,” Worm admits. “It’s not what you’re thinking.” He rushes to head off where Mercury’s mind is surely going. “I didn’t take advantage of her, at least I didn’t intend to. Fuck! This situation is Fubar.”

“Just calm down and tell me everything from the beginning.” Mercury’s calm demeanor helps Worm to focus. He does just what Mercury has suggested. He begins by telling him about meeting Allison at the airport when he’d picked her up for Wallace’s wedding. How he’d been struck by her beauty, but thought she was a stuck-up California yuppie.

Then he’d gone on with how they’d hit it off during the days before the wedding and had had a rendezvous after the ceremony. Mercury already knew about her disappearing for three days, but Worm gave more details about how it had made him feel than he’d intended.

Mercury’s quiet support while he let it all out spurred him on to give more than he probably should have. Worm finishes with an edited version of what has transpired over the last few days, including the jewelry he’d given her. Allison doesn’t know, but that jewelry isn’t costume like he’d told her, and it cost a small fortune. It would have cost more if he’d had to pay for the tech that is embedded inside it, plus full price for the 24-hour monitoring.

Thankfully, Tex and Daisy’s brother-in-law had cut him a break on those parts. He’d intended to tell Allison about them and how if she was ever taken again, she wouldn’t be alone. They’d be able to find her using the jewelry, but it hadn’t seemed like the right time to tell her all of that. Now that he’s hurt her, he doesn’t want to tell her for fear she’d throw it at him and he’d have no way to keep her safe.

Worm finishes his tale with full details of how he and Allison had woken up this morning. He relates his fears and how he’d hurt her when he’d pulled away from her. Through it all Mercury has remained quiet, listening without passing any judgement.

“So, what I’m hearing is, you think you can’t be loyal to your mom and sisters while also exploring a relationship with Allison?” Leave it to Mercury to put it in plain English which leaves Worm feeling like he has definitely made a mountain out of molehill.

“Well, yeah, that’s it in a nutshell,” Worm admits. “I have enough to worry about making sure Mom is working, the bills are getting paid, and the girls are staying in school and out of trouble while I’m thousands of miles away, you know?”

“I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure, Worm,” Mercury states. “I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you, but you aren’t alone. You know that any of us will help you with your family, right?”

“Yes, I know, but they are my responsibility. I owe it to my dad,” Worm continues. “He was the best dad anyone could ever ask for. He loved my mother and us kids so well. I have to honor his memory. Keep them together and going, no matter what sacrifices I have to make to be sure that happens.”

“I get that, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have a life of your own, too,” Mercury concludes. “Allison is important to you. You may have only known her for a week or so, but she means something to you. You wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of having Luke and Tex work together to get Allison jewelry with built in real-time GPS tracking. You shouldn’t give her up for anything, not until you know for sure she isn’t the one, which from the way you talk about her, she is The One.”

Worm is floored. Mercury is the last person he ever expected to encourage him to pursue Allison. He’d been counting on him to pull him back to reality. “What?” Worm asks, almost sounding angry. He does his best to tone it down when he continues. “I thought for sure you would tell me to drop this nonsense and focus on my duties to family, team, and country.”

“I am telling you to focus on those things, family being the first and most important. Allison could very well be your family, Worm, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.” Worm’s eyes widen in shock. He is really glad Mercury can’t see him right now. “Trust me, you don’t want to be ten years or more down the road regretting your choices, because once you make them, you can’t go back and change the past, no matter how desperately you want to.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” Worm stammers, his thoughts running a hundred miles a minute. “Where’s this coming from? Do you regret choices you made regarding a girl?” It’s the only explanation Worm can think of for what Mercury has said.

“Yes.” The single word confession carries the weight of the world and a million pounds of pain. “Take it from someone who knows, Worm. Don’t let her get away. If she’s come to mean this much to you in a week? Just think how much that feeling is going to grow in another week? A month? I’d give my left nut to go back in time and change my actions, but I can’t. You have the opportunity to not make the same mistake I made.”

“Hawk is always telling us it’s never too late,” Worm says softly, suddenly wishing he hadn’t brought this level of pain to his friend. “Maybe you should take your own advice? Give her a call?” Mercury’s derisive snort is loud over the line.

“She wouldn’t answer. I really fucked things up,” he continues, sharing more about his past than he ever has with Worm. Worm had always known Mercury had something eating at him, but he rarely talked about it and when he did it was only ever vague references to a love lost.

“She was young and it was probably just infatuation on her part. I was trying to protect her. I was so much older than her and she was my best friends’, at the time, sister. I couldn’t go there…I shouldn’t have gone there, then after I did, I felt guilty and pushed her away.

“By the time I wised up and realized she was the only woman I’d ever want, she wouldn’t take my calls. I lost not only her, but some of the best friends I’d ever had. We’d all known each other all our lives. Our dads were in service together and seemed to get transferred to the same bases, so we always had each other. I lost all of them when I joined the Raiders.”

“Damn, Mercury! I’m sorry man,” Worm mumbles. “I’m glad you’re on our team, but you gave up a lot when you joined us.”

“Yeah, I did. I love being on the team and all of you guys, but I do regret what I lost by doing it.” Mercury grows quiet, likely reflecting on everything he gave up.

“I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean to bring you down,” Worm chuckles. “I only called to have you tell me I needed to run as far and as fast as I can away from Allison and the baggage she would bring into my life.”

Mercury laughs at that. “Sorry to disappoint you, brother. I’m the last person to give you that shitty advice. Don’t let her get away. You will live to regret it and begin to wish the next mission will be the one where your suffering ends.” Worm perks up at this.

“What are you saying?” Worm pushes. “Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” Worm had never thought he’d be asking one of his teammates that question, but too many good men and women have been lost to suicide. There’s no way he won’t ask even if he pisses off Mercury.

“No.” Mercury’s voice is soft and low, but not filled with anger. “It’s just some days, the pain is more than I want to keep carrying, but I can’t rid myself of it. I’d never do that to my teammates or my family, but I can understand why some people do.” Son of a bitch! Worm hadn’t intended for them to get into such an intense conversation when he’d called, but it sounds like his friend needs Worm as much as he needed Mercury.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Worm inquires. “I don’t know shit about relationships as you can tell, but you know I’m here for you. I hate that you’ve been carrying this around all this time and hadn’t shared it with us. I would totally have your back. You know that, right?”

“I do,” Mercury agrees. “It’s just so hard to talk about. For years I’ve pushed it all aside, forced myself to focus on other things, but lately, it’s…she’s been all I can think about. How I left things. How she looked when I walked away. I’ll never forget the shock and pain in her eyes. It haunts me, day and night. I don’t want that for you, Worm. Heed my warning, don’t fuck this up, man. Your sanity depends on it.”

“I won’t,” Worm assures him, all the while knowing he is likely going to fuck this up, because he can’t see a way for him and Allison to be together, especially if she ends up going back to California. He shakes his head in frustration. He is more confused about what to do now than he was before he called Mercury. Not only that, but he now has more to worry about. Mercury has been suffering in silence all the years Worm has known him. How could he not see how much agony Mercury has been in?

Worm makes a mental note to talk with his teammates about keeping an eye on Mercury. Even though Mercury had assured Worm he wasn’t suicidal, Worm isn’t going to take any chances. He and the team will be there for Mercury.

Right now, he needs to get Allison some breakfast and get them checked out of the hotel so they can head home. He forces himself to stop worrying about what the future holds and focus on what he can control in the moment. Getting her fed and on the plane, safely. He still needs to get her to talk about what happened to her, but perhaps he should leave that to Emma and the other women his teammates have chosen. There is one thing he knows for certain about those women. They will take care of Allison. They’ll make sure she has what she needs, not only physically, but emotionally, too.

His teammates have chosen the best women to make a life with and while he’d been annoyed at first when they all began to settle down, he is very thankful for each and every one of them, knowing they will take Allison under their wings and take care of her.