Page 51 of All in for Christmas

I distribute the slim-volume books, laying one on each student’s desk.

“Your assignment for tonight, should you choose to accept it…and you should.” I grin around the room.

“Is to read Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol and report back tomorrow with your thoughts.

” There are twenty four students, their desks lined up in four rows of six.

Nate raises his hand in the back row. “But tomorrow’s the start of winter break.”

I scoff lightly. “Precisely why I’m not assigning this tomorrow.”

This brings low chuckles, along with groans.

I see two students passing notes. I snatch away the paper that one hands over her shoulder to another. “Care to share with the class?”

I take a quick peek at the note and close it. New physics teacher’s hot.

Kendra slinks down in her chair, her face red. “No, thanks.”

A girl in the middle row texts on her cell phone. I stride over and hold open my hand. “Ms. Pierce,” Eliza whines. “It’s a necessity.”

I take the phone and place it on my desk. “Which is why you can have it again after class.” When I turn my back there are quiet complaints and grouses.

I face the kids and say pleasantly, “Listen, I know you’re all excited about winter break, but this is a really easy read. A novella. Less than a hundred pages.”

Jeremiah’s jaw goes slack. “All in one night?”

“No.” I lean back against my teacher desk. “I’m giving you a head start during the rest of this ninety-minute class. You can use it, or not. Either way, we’ll discuss the story tomorrow.”

Emily’s in the front row. She sheepishly holds up her hand. “The half day before break we usually have class parties.”

“And we shall!” This captures their attention.

Every person in the room sits up straighter in their chair.

“I’ll bring cookies,” I vow, “and you all can contribute some treats.”

The cell-phone-less Eliza frowns. “But we still have to talk about Dickens?”

“All I want to know from each of you is how you might have handled things differently if you were Ebenezer Scrooge.” This exercise always provokes discussion, and discussion is good.

Emily’s hand juts up. “What if we would have done things the same as old Scrooge?”

I cock my chin and say, “Then I’ll want to know why.”

Collective sighs as students glance at one another.

I have my eyes on the clock. “Feel free to get started at any time.”

One by one, their books crack open.

Dean pops his head in my room at lunchtime. “Hey, tiger. How ya holding up?”

“Things are going great so far.”

“So. We still on for ice skating this evening?”

“Most definitely.” My heart twists when I think of Henry and Eleanor. Those kids were so real to me. That whole life was, too.

Dean’s near the threshold, standing in the hall. The strap of a laptop bag hangs from his shoulder. “Hey, you all right?”

I force a smile and say, “Yeah, good. You?”

His face creases uncertainly. “Sure.” After a minute, he asks, “Pick you up at five?”

“Can we say six? I’ve got to make a quick run to the grocery store after school.”

“Six sounds great.” His dark eyes shine and he leans into the room, grasping the doorframe. “And for the record?” he whispers devilishly. “There is a Boss Lady mug.”

“What?” I cover my mouth with my hands and giggle. “ Ooh. ”

Later that evening, Dean and I sit on a park bench by the skating rink.

It’s not snowing for the moment, but everything is blanketed in white and the pretty town Christmas tree gleams along with the lights from the holiday market.

He takes another bite of chili dog and says, “This had been lots of fun. Thanks for coming out with me.”

“Yeah.” I smile, likewise enjoying my food.

“You too.” We took several turns around the ice and laughed and chatted.

The truth is, Dean was much more than my boyfriend in college; he was my best friend.

It’s been easy to step back into those roles.

There’s probably nothing I wouldn’t tell him.

I’ve already shared more than I ever thought I would.

“I’m really sorry about your mom, Paige,” he says gently, and my heart aches in a very tender spot. “I wish I’d known what the two of you were going through back then.”

“It’s all right. We got through it.”

He lays his hand on my coat sleeve. “And you’ll get through it again.” He scans my eyes. “You’ve got to stay hopeful. Believe the doctors are just being thorough, like she said.”

“Yes, I hope you’re right.” I think over the things Mom told me at Beaumont’s in the other reality. “Mom really appreciated you in that other world. She said it was the two of us who helped her through her cancer treatments, and you played a very big part. You were a really great son-in-law.”

Dean purses his lips and then says, “I’m glad I was there to help.”

We finish eating and pack up our trash, staring at the skating rink for a long time.

Families skate by, moms and dads holding hands with their kids, and my heart aches because I’m missing Eleanor and Henry.

I hate to think we’ve abandoned them. No, that can’t be right.

Not if the world they lived in is no longer there—but that seems just as bad.

Melancholy hovers over me like a gloomy storm cloud.

Silly. I should be ecstatic. I’m here—on an actual date with Dean—and the rest of my life’s back to normal.

My teaching, my plans for Paws and Read.

I’ve got concerns about Mom, but I’m trying to stay positive, like Dean’s urging me to do. Dean reaches out to hold my hand.

“This might not make a lot of sense.” His Adam’s apple rises and falls.

“But I get it. I do.” He feels the absence of our family, too.

The void of what might have been. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared so much detail about the alternate reality.

Its disappearance has been hard enough on me, and now I’ve burdened him.

I try to add a positive spin. “Maybe everything will look brighter at Christmas?”

He nods surely. “Yeah, of course it will. Speaking of… What are you and your mom doing on Christmas Eve? My folks and I generally go to the eleven o’clock church service, the candlelight one that ends at midnight.

Jenny comes, too. Do you think you and your mom would like to join?

I mean, I understand if she’s not feeling up to it after her appointment. ”

“Aww. That sounds really nice. I’ll ask her.” Somehow, though, I suspect there will be a big hole in my heart if we’re sitting there and not attending the family service while watching Henry play a shepherd and Eleanor an angel.

Dean scans my eyes. “I hope we’re still on for dinner tomorrow, because there’s nothing I’d love more than spending more time with you.”

“I’d like that, Dean.”

He wraps his arm around me and holds me close. It’s chilly out, but next to Dean I’m warm and cozy. “You know what we need?” he says, half joking. “Another dose of holiday magic.”

“Oh yeah?” I peer up at him. “And what would happen then?”

“Maybe that would give us a chance to experience that other life.”

My heart hammers. “But what about this life? Your folks? Jenny?”

He hugs my shoulder. “Aren’t all of them there, only better?”

Heat builds in my eyes. “That’s what I thought, but, you know.” I shrug. “I could have been wrong. I was viewing things through my lens and what I saw as important.”

“That’s so like you,” he says appreciatively. “Trying to be fair-minded and kind.”

I’m hopeful for a moment, but then logic slams down on me like a lead weight. “Dean, even if we wanted to go back, I wouldn’t know the way. Would you?”

His deep voice rumbles. “Then maybe what we need to do is move forward?” Shadows from the lights rimming the skating rink cloak his handsome face and I snuggle up against him.

“I’d like moving forward with you.”

His smile touches my heart. “Yeah. Me too.”

We sit together, absorbing the warm holiday vibe as skaters glide by beneath a canopy of stars.

I relax against him and sigh, enjoying this special moment.

I love sitting beside him and feeling his body warmth seep into mine.

He’s the other half of my heart. My soul mate.

I believe that now more than ever after having seen the kind of marriage we’d have.

“I’m glad we’ve gotten so much out of that advent calendar,” he says.

I smile up at him. “Thanks for giving it to me. It’s been a revolutionary gift!”

“It’s not such a bad life, Paige,” he says and holds me closer. “The one that we’ve got here.” His mouth moves nearer, and I go a little breathy.

“No, it’s fantastic,” I say and melt into his kiss.