Page 23 of All in for Christmas

“Hello, dear,” the older woman says as I approach.

“Merry Christmas!” She has kind blue eyes behind round wire-rimmed glasses.

Her thick white hair is pulled back in a bun below her Santa hat.

She’s dressed in a red tunic with fluffy white fur on the cuffs of her sleeves and at her neckline.

It resembles what Santa might wear, but as I draw closer I note the tunic’s actually a dress, not a top worn with slacks.

It falls to her knees, and she’s paired it with black tights and ankle boots.

I nod, unsure whether she’s issuing a greeting or introducing herself.

“Merry Christmas,” I say, admiring her work.

The table in front of her is loaded with advent calendars like the one we’ve got at home.

There’s an entire stack of them at one end.

She has a display of several hanging up on a pegboard behind her. “Your advent calendars are so pretty.”

“Are you enjoying the one you have?”

I startle, not having been prepared for her remembering me. “Why yes!”

“You were here last week with your husband.” Her eyes twinkle. “And two young children.”

“Oh?” I hadn’t realized the kids were with us. But of course, why wouldn’t they have been?

“You’d just come back from church and rehearsing for the pageant.” She nods at the gray stone church behind her with broad wooden front doors and a high steeple.

“Ahh, yes,” I say, although I have no memory of this at all. “That’s right.”

She’s arranging the advent calendars on the table as we speak. She takes the items out of the pockets in one and places them back in the pockets in a different order. “Sometimes children get busy with their little fingers and mix these up,” she explains merrily. “Not that I mind their curiosity.”

“Are you saying the order matters?”

“Oh yes. Absolutely.” She slides her glasses back further on her nose to stare at me. “Everything in its place and all things in good time.” I think of how I put the Christmas star up early on my calendar back at my condo. I apparently did the same thing with the calendar here.

“Mrs. Christmas,” I say, amid the hubbub of chatter around us.

Though the market is busy, I’m the only one at this booth for the moment.

“I need to ask you about something you said about my calendar.” I swallow hard.

“I mean, ours. The one Dean and I bought for our family. You said something about it predicting the future?”

The dimple in her chin deepens. “Has it?”

The snowman can be explained. I’m not as certain about the poinsettia. “I’m not sure,” I tell her honestly. “I’ve only been here two days.”

She takes this in stride. “I see.”

I lean toward her and whisper, “Do you believe in time travel? Or in alternate realities?”

“Well, I certainly believe in traveling at the speed of light.” She chuckles warmly.

“My Kris does that every year.” She’s talking about Santa Claus.

Great. Now I’m not sure who’s more loony tunes, Mrs. Christmas or me.

I’m glad no one’s recording this conversation.

“Have you traveled somewhere?” she asks.

“I’m—not sure.” I grimace. “It could be that I’m dreaming.”

“You look wide awake to me,” she says, observing my cup of hot chocolate.

“Ha, yeah.” I lower my voice. “Waking up’s how it started. Yesterday morning with Dean. And then, there were the kids. And the dog.” I heave a breath. “And, oh my goodness, Mom!”

“What’s Rosemary up to these days?”

“Wait.” I blink. “You know her?”

“Of course, dear. Kris keeps careful track of everyone on his list, even the older ones who’ve lost their faith.” She wags her finger. “But not your mom. She never did! She’s always believed in the power of magic,” she says wistfully. “And love.”

Sounds like my mom all right.

Hang on. “Mom didn’t have something to do with this?”

“With what?” She finishes stuffing the calendar pockets. “With your being here?”

I nod.

“Well of course she did! She gave birth to you!”

She reads my troubled frown. “Oh! You mean about your being here here, in this different reality. No, no,” she quickly says. “You’re your own agent.”

“So my actions caused this change?”

“Indeed.” She tugs on her Santa hat. “How are you enjoying your early dose of Christmas cheer?” An early dose of Christmas.

Of course. I recall how the Christmas star ornament seemed to shimmer and glow when I pressed it to the advent calendar in my condo.

Did I upset the cosmic timeline somehow by jumping the gun and putting that particular ornament up early?

“So my being here—in this alternate reality—was caused by the advent calendar?”

“In part.” She straightens her glasses. “The other part has to do with the wish you made in your heart.”

I gasp, feeling like she’s peeked into my head. “What wish?”

“You were wondering about Dean. Considering how your life might have been different with him if the two of you had stayed together. Isn’t that right?”

I shrug sheepishly, because I can’t very well deny it. Not when this woman already seems to know so much about me and my motivations, without me totally understanding how. Can she actually be the Mrs. Claus? Married to the jolly old elf himself? Nooo.

“Mrs. Christmas?”

“Yes, Paige?”

I ask because I must know. “Are there two of me now? One here and one there? Back in my old world?”

“Heavens, no,” she says with conviction. “Every soul is unique.”

My heart thumps painfully. “You mean, now that I’m here, I’ve disappeared from the other world?”

“I’m afraid it’s much worse than that,” she says, jangling my nerves. “Now that you’re here, there is no other world.”

A huge knot forms in my throat. “My job? My condo? My SUV?”

“ Poof! Poof! Poof! ” She makes flicking motions with her fingers. “All of that gone!”

My mouth hangs open. “My Paws and Read program?”

She shrugs. “Not happening.”

“Mom?”

“Disappeared!”

I gasp. “Dean?”

“Finito!”

Impossible. I’ve destroyed them all? “But Dean’s got a great life! He went to Puerto Rico. Lived his dream!”

“How do you know his dream couldn’t have been different?”

“So wait.” I swallow hard. “Are you saying that things are said and done? That my other life has disappeared forever?”

“No.” She shakes her head and the pom-pom on her hat sways. “I never said that. I merely said you can’t be in two places at once. Gracious!” She claps her hands together. “Even my Kris can’t accomplish that.” She winks slyly. “Which is why he has to move so fast.”

“So if I go back to my other reality—”

“It will pick up just where you left off.” Meaning Mom will need my support, and I’ll be there to launch Paws and Read.

The terrifying truth dawns. “What about Eleanor? Henry? Scout?”

“ Poof! Poof! Poof! ” she says, again motioning with her fingers.

My heart breaks into tiny pieces. “What a horrible choice.”

“It’s not so horrible, really,” Mary Christmas says. “Your heart will lead the way.”

I try to put things together, but can’t quite get there. “If nobody can be in two places at once, then how come Dean and the kids, Mom—my family and friends—all seem to remember the past here? Everyone sees it but me.”

Mrs. Christmas nods, getting what I’m asking. “That’s because when you transferred into this reality, it became a complete world breathed into life by the love you and Dean once shared. This life is the only life the rest of them have ever known, because this is your life as things might have been.

“In your case,” she continues, “things are different because you’re living on the cusp of two realities between here and there . You’re trying to discern whether you’ve made the very best choices, and the universe is giving you a little kick in the caboose to urge you along.”

“So then, you think I chose wrong the first time?”

“Nope.” She shakes her head. “Didn’t say that.” She stares directly at me. “What I’m saying is that whichever existence you choose, you can’t leave room for doubt. You have to be all in, totally convinced, with one hundred percent of your heart that the path you’ve selected is the right one.”

“So if I go back to my original world and this realm disappears, will Dean—?”

She shakes her head. “He won’t remember this place.”

I frown at the difficulty of this outcome. “That seems so unfair.”

“Unless!” She holds up a finger. “The two of you share something unique here, an unbreakable bond. But that bond would have to be very special to cross the boundary between two realities. Almost unheard of, really.” She sets her jaw, thinking. “But possible.”

“How about Mom? If I go back to the other place, will she be okay?”

She frowns solemnly. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that, Paige.” I feel like an anvil’s settled on my chest.

“And Paws and Read?” I ask. “Can that still happen here?”

“That’s not up to me to answer.” Her countenance brightens. “I can tell you one thing, though, and listen up because it’s very important .” She holds open her hands. “The advent calendar’s magic only lasts through Christmas Day.”

“And then?”

She addresses me like a schoolteacher questioning her class. “What comes after?”

“Er,” I hedge, then answer. “December twenty-sixth?”

“Bravo!” She dons a grin. “Then the rest of your life.”

“So wherever I am on December twenty-sixth, that’s where I’ll stay?”

“There’ll be no more need for the advent calendar then, will there?” She sighs, gazing dreamily at the gloomy sky. “Although Christmas will be over, its magic will live on.”

“Yes, but.” I tuck my layered hair behind my ear. “Will I be here or there?”

She folds her arms, looking at me. “Only you can decide that.”

But I feel so helpless about impacting anything.

“Oh, you’re not helpless,” she says. “Far from it.”

My forehead warms beneath my hat. “I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you thought it, and thinking is just as good as saying.” She whispers sneakily, “Only quieter.”

Incredible! Now I’ve got to watch what I’m thinking? “So there’s nothing I can do to influence my future?”