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Time passes somehow, and before long, hundreds of pages are scattered on the floor. I am unaware of how much time has passed, and I couldn’t possibly count the tears that have fallen from my eyes or the sobs that have escaped through my lips.
I keep going, though; I read every single page, out of order, scattered and disarranged, but I make sure to soak in every single confession from the man that I love, the only man outside of my father that I have ever loved, and by the time I reach the end of the stack of pages, the apartment has grown darker and the sun has begun to set.
I look around the mess that I’ve made and try to take it all in. My eyes scan the floor, resting on the crumpled ball of paper on the entry table. Hardin said that it’s the last page, the very last page of this story, our story, and I try to calm myself before reaching for it.
My hands shake as I pick it up, unwrap the crinkled page, and read the words written there.
He hopes that she will read this someday and that she will understand just how broken he was. He doesn’t ask for her pity, or her forgiveness; he only asks that she see just how much she affected his life. That she, the beautiful stranger with a kind heart, turned into his lifeline and made him into the man he is today. He hopes that with these words, no matter how harsh some of them are, she will be proud of herself for dragging a sinner from the pits of hell and raising him into her heaven, allowing him redemption and freedom from the demons of his past.
He prays that she will take every single word to heart, and that maybe, just maybe, she will still love him after everything they have gone through. He hopes that she will be able to remember why she loved him, why she fought so hard for him.
Lastly, he hopes that wherever she may be as she reads the book that he wrote for her, she will read it with a light heart and that she will reach out to him, even if these words find her years from now. She has to know that he hasn’t given up. Tessa has to know that this man will always love her, and that he will be waiting for her for the rest of his life, whether she returns to it or not. He wants her to know that she was his savior and that he could never repay her for everything she has done for him, and that he loves her with his entire soul and nothing will ever change that.
He wants to remind her that whatever their souls are made of, his and hers are the same. Their favorite novel said it best.
I gather every last bit of strength left inside me and leave the scattered pages on the floor of the apartment, the last page of the book still in my hand.
Chapter seventy-six
TESSA
Two Years Later
You are absolutely stunning, such a beautiful bride,” Karen gushes.
I nod, agreeing with her. I adjust the straps on my own gown and look back into the mirror. “He is going to be so stricken. I still can’t believe how fast this day has come.” I smile, placing one last bobby pin into the thick wave of hair pinned up in ringlets and glistening under the bright lights in the back room of the church.
I may have sprayed too much glitter onto her hair.
“What if I trip? What if he doesn’t show at the altar?” Landon’s gorgeous bride has a soft voice, one so full of nerves that she may snap any moment.
“He will. Ken drove him to the church this morning.” Karen laughs, reassuring the two of us. “My husband would have alerted us by now.”
“Landon wouldn’t miss this for the world,” I promise. I know he wouldn’t, because I saw his face and wiped away the tears under his eyes when he showed me the ring he’d picked out for her.
“I sure hope not. I will be really pissed.” She lets out a nervous laugh. Her smile is so lovely, even with the anxiety buzzing beneath the surface of the beauty; she’s holding herself together quite well.
My fingers gently brush over her dark curls, adjusting the sheer veil on her head. I glance at her beautiful face in the mirror and lift my hand to touch her bare shoulder. Her brown eyes are filled with tears, and she’s chewing nervously on her lower lip.
“It will be fine, you’ll be fine,” I promise. The silver of my dress shines under the light, and I admire the beauty of every detail behind this wedding.
“Is it too soon? We’ve only been back together for a few months. Do you think it’s too soon, Tessa?” she asks me.
I’ve grown so close with her in the past two years, I could sense her worry when her fingers started trembling as she helped me zip my bridesmaid’s gown.
I smile. “It’s not too soon. You two have been through so much in the last few years. You’re just overthinking this. I know a thing or two about that.”
“Are you nervous to see him?” she asks, eyes searching my face.
Yes. Terrified. Maybe a little panicked. “No, it’s only been a few months.”
“Too long,” Landon’s mother says under her breath.
My heart grows heavy, and I press back the distant ache that accompanies every thought surrounding him. I swallow the words I could and maybe should say. “Can you believe that your son is getting married today?” I quickly change the subject.
My distraction works like magic, and Karen smiles, squeals, and begins to tear up at once. “Oh, my makeup will be a mess.” She pats her fingertips under her eyes, and her light brown hair moves with her as she shakes her head.
A knock at the door silences the three of us. “Honey?” Ken’s voice is soft and cautious. Approaching the bride’s room full of emotional women will do that to a man. “Abby just woke from her nap,” Ken tells his wife as he opens the door, his daughter on his hip. Her dark brown hair and bright brown eyes are striking, lighting up every room the little girl enters. “I can’t seem to find the diaper bag.”