Page 23 of Accidentally Joining His Cult (Chicago Awakenings #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Beck

T hat stupid fucking alarm tone goes off well before the sun rises, and I cannot fathom why in the world anyone would choose to wake up this early. We can still work out and be healthy after the sun rises. I’d seriously much rather still be awake at four a.m. than be starting my day at this hour for fucks sake.

The things I’m willing to do for love.

I already knew I loved him. But hearing Cody say the words back to me last night, and finally getting to be inside him, was incredible.

I’ve never been happier.

It only cements how much I want to share a bed with him every night and how fiercely I want to keep my promise to him. Hopefully, that will involve some actual sleep, though. Or at least missing out on sleep for more fun reasons than a fucking sunrise hike.

Despite the very minimal rest I know he got, Cody is staring at me with a giant smile on his face when I finally crack one of my eyes open.

“Good morning, I love waking up with you in my bed,” he says with a happy sigh.

“I’d love it more if it wasn’t four a.m.,” I grumble, making him laugh.

He leans in and kisses me on the tip of my nose before rolling out of bed. “Come on, sleepyhead, let’s get you some coffee.”

I finally open both eyes at the promise of caffeine, practically falling out of bed because my body refuses to cooperate at this ungodly hour. I brush my teeth, then put on all the hiking shit I got specifically for this trip. I’m a fit guy, but there aren’t any mountains in Chicago—my home gym works just fine and doesn’t require me to wake up this fucking early. I head to Cody’s kitchen, following the scent of coffee as I walk down the stairs with my eyes still only half open.

“Here you go, boyfriend,” Cody says in a tone so chipper it would annoy me on anyone but him.

I do like the upgraded title, though.

I attempt a smile, though it’s more likely just me baring my teeth as I take the coffee and plop onto a chair at his breakfast bar. I close my eyes, focusing solely on consuming enough caffeine to become a functioning human.

“I’m glad to meet Nick,” I grumble after chugging most of the cup. “But I don’t think I can do another four a.m. wake-up call.”

“You probably don’t have to since you’re not assigned to an accountability group or anything, but I’ll have to get up this early almost every day so I don’t get fined,” Cody says with a laugh.

“Why would you get fined?”

“It’s part of the wellness program I was telling you about.” He adds powders and vegetables into a blender, making what I assume will be a very healthy smoothie.

“So, you have to pay if you miss a workout? Who are you paying?”

“It gets added to your gym membership fees. It’s a great motivator,” Cody explains casually as he blends up his health concoction, as if the whole system isn’t completely absurd.

“And what about the accountability group? Who are they?”

“It’s a group of about fifty people, and we all follow each other on this fitness tracker app. You can see who’s completed their workouts and stuff.” That part doesn’t sound too bad. “We also help each other stick to our meal plans. If we eat anything outside of a Kyla-provided meal, we have to send a picture to the group chat,” he says as he takes a photo of his smoothie with all of the ingredients artfully placed next to it on the counter. I’ve obviously noticed him taking pictures of his food before, but I thought he was just one of those people who posted it to a social media account I don’t follow.

He shows me his phone where he sent the photo to a group chat, and the likes are already pouring in. I guess everyone has to be up this early . “Will they all be on the hike?” I ask.

“Nah, only some of them will be. There are a lot of different class options to choose from. That’s why we have the fitness app—it lets everyone pick the class they enjoy most, but we’re still connected.”

I nod like I understand, but the whole thing still feels controlling. Especially if everyone is required to participate or they get fined.

The fines sound insane, but I’d be willing to pay Cody’s fees if it meant we got to stay in bed together until after the sun came up.

“How are you feeling this morning?” I change the topic, hoping Cody won’t be in pain for this hike.

“A little sore, but it doesn’t hurt,” he answers. “I like the reminder of our night, if I’m being totally honest.” His smirk is adorable, and his admission makes my chest feel full.

We both finish off our coffee, and I reluctantly drink the smoothie Cody made for me. It wasn’t as gross as I expected, but I wouldn’t order it at a restaurant.

I’m still hungry even after the smoothie. I seriously need to get some real snacks.

* * *

We meet the hiking group in a parking lot at the base of the closest mountain. Apparently, there’s a lake about two miles up, and the plan is to hike there and back this morning. Cody said about twenty people were expected to do the hike, and judging by the crowd, we’re one of the last to arrive.

It's my fault entirely because moving quickly at this hour is impossible.

We approach the group gathering at the trail entrance. People are putting on sunscreen and tying up their hiking boots, and I see a man as tall as Cody looking right at us with a smile just as big as Cody’s lighting up his face. He’s got stylish dark hair and pretty eyes, and he obviously works out a ton.

He’s definitely hot, but he’s got nothing on Cody.

“Nick!” Cody yells, even though he’s clearly already spotted us. “Come meet my boyfriend!”

He doesn’t bother lowering his volume at all, and I love that Cody’s so excited to claim our label so publicly. I feel a little guilty that we didn’t have that conversation sooner, but I’m glad we’ve gotten to this point.

“It’s official now, huh?” Nick teases, raising an eyebrow as he pulls Cody in for a quick hug. It’s a normal, friendly greeting—nothing like the overly familiar ones I witnessed at dinner yesterday.

“Yup, we decided last night,” Cody says proudly, and I reach out to grab his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Sorry, it took so long,” I murmur, and he squeezes my hand back with a big smile.

“Worth the wait.”

“I’m the best friend, Nick,” he says, holding out his hand in greeting, and I shake it, appreciating that he didn’t assume I’m a hugger.

“The boyfriend, Beck,” I introduce myself proudly.

“I’ve heard a lot about you over the last few months.”

“Hopefully good things?” I question with a teasing tone.

“Mostly about how you’re so hot and funny and perfect that you made him realize he’s bi,” Nick responds with a laugh.

“For the record, I don’t usually go after straight-identifying men,” I clarify. “I thought he was flirting with me.”

That makes Nick laugh even harder. “He probably was. When he came out to me, all excited about his newfound sexual identity, I had to tell him I thought he was already bi and out—because he unintentionally flirts with literally everyone all the time.”

Cody groans, already laughing, and Nick adds with a wink, “He was shocked. If I were into guys, I would’ve gone after him years ago.”

I can’t help but laugh, too, because that sounds exactly like Cody and his adorable, oblivious kindness.

“Well, I’m very glad for the confusion,” I add, and Nick smiles fondly at me.

“Me too, Cody has seemed… brighter since the two of you met. Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been super happy, but it’s like he’s more present now. I hope you guys can keep finding ways to spend time together,” he says earnestly, and I decide Nick is probably my favorite person we’ve talked to since my arrival. It’s clear that he cares about Cody as an actual friend and not just as someone important to Kyla.

I’m glad Cody has him, even if he is making us wake up so fucking early.

The hike itself is fairly easy, with a slight incline. It takes us about an hour to reach the lake, and when we do, the view is gorgeous. I can understand the appeal as we watch the sunrise over the water.

But what really steals my attention is Cody. Watching my sunshine man light up at the spectacular view makes every yawn I’ll have today worth it.

Nick and I get along really well. He played hockey growing up all the way through college, so the three of us talk about the playoffs that just wrapped up and how I’m determined to make next year the year the Werewolves finally go all the way.

Because I obviously have that kind of power.

By the time we’re back in the parking lot, it’s almost eight a.m., and we say goodbye to Nick after he and I exchange numbers.

Cody and I head back for a quick shower, where I get to wash him—a task I absolutely love—and then we’re on our way to the headquarters again.

Viktor mentioned wanting to show me more in the studio today, so I assume we’ll be reviewing the marketing materials they’ve likely already put together from yesterday’s photos. But the moment we step inside the studio, my stomach drops.

There’s a full-blown production stage with employees running around to prepare for filming. A set’s been prepared to record an interview in front of cameras, and Viktor is sitting in the slightly larger armchair on the right, where someone is applying powder to his face.

I really need to start paying more attention to this guy.

I’m almost certain Viktor never mentioned filming videos or interviews. When we talked about taking my picture and there being some cameras around, I thought he meant candid shots of me and Cody.

Clearly I was underestimating Viktor, and that needs to end.

As soon as we’re spotted on the set, another makeup artist appears seemingly out of nowhere to add makeup to my face as well. I’m covered in powder, and a stray hair is plucked from above my left eyebrow. Seriously? Was an errant hair going to fuck up the video?

Once my appearance is deemed appropriate for whatever’s happening here, I’m led over to the seat opposite Viktor.

The chair is comfortable, but I’m on edge as I look around. I don’t understand why Kyla even needs this large of a studio. All of the videos I’ve been shown in the classes must have been filmed here, but they only featured the speaker. This place has room for an audience and has multiple stages, so they must film more than the program videos I’ve seen.

I have no idea what to say or do, so I look to Viktor, hoping he’ll clue me in on what’s happening. He gives me a small smile and nods in greeting before waiting for a camera operator to raise a hand, signaling that they’re recording.

“Today, I have a very special member of Kyla with me,” Viktor starts, looking into the camera.

My thoughts snag on the word “member.”

I’m not a member. Am I?

I guess that I have taken multiple day-long courses and spent a lot of money in the process. Plus, I did go to the retreat in Florida, and now I’m here for an extended amount of time…

Shit, I guess I probably am a member . That realization really snuck up on me, and I don’t know how I feel about it.

Meanwhile, Viktor is going on about who I am and my family, just like he did last night. I’m trying to keep the panic off of my face since I’ve been told I’m not great at keeping my thoughts and emotions out of my expressions, and the last thing I want is to offend Cody if I look upset by Viktor’s statement.

I also don’t want to piss this guy off.

I’m starting to really question Viktor’s motives and teachings, and I don’t want him to suspect I’m anything less than an enthusiastic participant in whatever the hell is happening in this town until I can figure out what’s really going on here. Cody mentioned getting Viktor’s approval for me to be here, and I don’t want to find out what happens if I lose it.

“So, Beckett, I would love to hear a little more from you about your Kyla journey and how your life has improved since joining the Kyla family,” Viktor prompts me, and I note that the leading way he phrases it makes it clear he’s only expecting a glowing, positive response.

I don’t think I have any choice but to fake a smile and bullshit my way through this so that Viktor doesn’t try to make me leave Linna and Cody.

I force the same practiced smile I use during media events for Werewolves' business, and attempt to sound genuine.

“Well, I was first introduced to the company when Cody hosted a seminar for my family’s company.” I figure the more truth I use, the less likely Viktor is to question my answers. “I was intrigued,” I continue—by Cody, but I leave that part out. “So I signed up for the individual program that weekend, attended the Kyla retreat in Florida the next month, and now I’m spending the summer here in Linna.”

I glance over at Cody and see him smiling at me encouragingly.

“I’ve found my family here,” I say, holding his gaze. “A renewed sense of purpose. I’d say that my life has improved dramatically in that time.”

“That’s great to hear,” Viktor says, returning my attention to him. “And certainly a common story among those who participate in Kyla’s self-improvement programs,” he adds sagely.

He asks me a few more leading questions about how great everything here is and how much I love Kyla. I manage to bullshit my way through it with short answers, mostly just echoing his phrasing. Despite my best efforts, my comments start to sound more sarcastic as we go on, and Viktor must decide he has enough footage, because he interrupts my commentary on how everyone is so healthy here and quickly wraps up the interview.

After a short goodbye to Viktor, Cody and I are able to escape to his office on the second-highest floor. Unfortunately, we both have actual work to do, so I set up my laptop on a table in his office. The rest of the work-day flies by, interrupted only by another disappointingly small and overly healthy lunch.

We have dinner again at the Old Mill, and just like the night before, a lot of the people are overly familiar with each other. There are also a lot of pregnant women in the crowd, and I think back to last night, realizing that there were quite a few then too.

When I ask Cody about it and question if birth control isn’t a thing here, he just laughs and says there are a lot of people here in their childbearing years, and that Kyla has such great maternity leave and childcare options that more women here feel like they’re supported in having children.

By the time we eat, socialize, wait for the announcements, and close with meditation, it’s almost eleven p.m. when we return to Cody’s, and I’m exhausted. Cody is able to keep me awake with the promise of mutual blow jobs, but the moment my head hits the pillow after that, I’m asleep.

* * *

The rest of the week flies by in a similar routine. Cody convinces me to join him for some sort of group fitness session before the ass crack of dawn, usually led by Nick, then we spend the day at his office.

We avoid any more one-on-one interaction with Viktor—I don’t know if we’re really that lucky or if he’s avoiding me. No complaints from me.

It turns out that Cody eats at the Old Mill every night when he’s in town because he travels so much. So, we spend our evenings there, Cody socializing and me avoiding talking to anyone but him and Nick. In my opinion, we’re not eating enough food. I think I’ve already lost weight being here, and I don’t feel like that’s necessarily a good thing. Combined with the lack of sleep, I can only deal with so much bullshit conversation, so I’m glad Cody finds my short, sarcastic responses amusing.

We can’t even fill up at home. Cody only has healthy, fresh options at his place, and we haven’t had any time to grocery shop for me to get actual snacks. I’ve always been a healthy eater, but I need something fried and covered in salt every once in a while.

When we get home at night, we fall into bed, exchange orgasms, and pass out. Cody hasn’t expressed any interest in topping yet, but I think that’s only because he’s been enjoying bottoming so much—I’ve been following his lead.

It’s Friday night now, and apparently, we finally get to sleep in tomorrow. Our spin class isn’t until eight a.m. and I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to wake up at seven.

Cody and I are curled up naked in his bed after he just rode me for the first time. I was far too exhausted to attempt anything else. When I suggested it, Cody eagerly helped me undress, practically pushed me onto the bed, and climbed right on top of me —it was amazing. Sex with him always is, and his enthusiasm when it comes to having me inside of him is hot as fuck. I don’t know how he has so much energy, he’s been getting just as little sleep and food as I have, but he still managed to ride my cock like he had all of the energy in the world.

His head is resting on my chest now as I run my fingers through his gorgeous hair. I accidentally snag his necklace and realize I’ve never asked him about it. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without it.

“So, is this a Kyla thing?” I ask, pulling at the silver chain to see the three mountain peaks dangling from it.

“Oh, yeah, I’m so used to it by now I forget it’s there most of the time. Everyone in Linna gets one as a part of the welcome ceremony that Viktor throws when you move here,” he states.

“You start with a bronze one with only a triangle on it, and as you spend more time here, achieve different things, advance in the company, stuff like that, then you can earn more peaks and different metals,” he explains. “I have the highest-ranking one because of my title, but I think they all look cool. Everyone gets excited when they get to exchange theirs for a new one.”

“Do you ever take it off?”

“Oh, I can’t,” Cody says casually. “It has a special locking mechanism so it doesn’t fall off and can’t get lost.”

My stomach twists. He says it like that’s totally normal, but he’s wearing a fucking collar put on by his fucking boss. It’s a short chain that’s snug against his neck, so there’s no way it would fit over his head.

“So only Viktor can put them on or take them off?” I clarify. I’m really trying to keep my tone even so that Cody doesn’t catch on to my growing rage, but I’m not sure how successful I am.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he answers. “I never really gave it much thought since I tend to lose jewelry. I just thought it was cool that I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

I keep playing with Cody’s hair, trying not to alarm him, even as the horrible sinking feeling in my gut spreads throughout my entire body. The hairs on my arms stand up, and I think I might be sick.

This isn’t normal.

I’ve always had my reservations about the company he works for. I’ve ignored a ton of red flags because my focus has always been on Cody—trying to spend more time with him and getting to know him.

I brushed off the Kyla stuff as unimportant baggage, something I just had to tolerate to be with him.

But now, the pieces start to come together.

I think more about the classes, how expensive they are, and the strange content. I think about Linna and the forced happy people here and the weird, overly familiar touching. Then there are the mandated diets and exercise, fines, and internal policing. Fuck, even the actual police in Linna participate in the Kyla courses and eat in the Old Mill. I’ve met some of them.

Then there are the necklaces. The collars.

And Viktor.

And then, something clicks. Hard.

I know Cody has joked about being oblivious, but apparently, I must be too.

Kyla isn’t just some weird self-help company.

Kyla is a fucking cult.

I joined a fucking cult and didn’t even realize it because I was so focused on the hot guy I wanted to hook up with.

We need to get out of here. Like right now. Tonight, before Viktor catches on that I know.

But fuck! How the hell am I supposed to convince Cody to leave with me? He loves this place—the town, his job, the people.

For a split second, a dark thought creeps in— does he know? Cody’s on their management team. Could he be a part of it? Complicit even?

But as soon as that pops into my head, I know it’s impossible. There’s no way that this kind, sweet, genuinely good man that I love with everything that I am could possibly be involved in a scheme to manipulate people out of their money—and god only knows what else Viktor is doing to these people.

Clearly, he’s controlling their food and exercise, even their sleep, to an extent, keeping everyone at dinner so late and making them wake up to work out so early. If he has everyone in town in these programs—the local government, the police and fire departments, the medical professionals—his control of this city could be absolute.

We seriously need to get the fuck out of here.

“Cody, we should go somewhere for the weekend,” I blurt out, and I can’t quite manage to keep the desperation out of my tone.

He laughs, sitting up to look at me. “What? Why?” he’s giving me a concerned look, and I’m obviously doing a terrible job keeping my cool right now.

“Well,” I begin, trying to think of an excuse that will get him to leave without completely shattering the way he views his entire life.

“I miss my family,” I say quickly. “I was thinking we could call my brothers in the morning, maybe see if they want to meet us halfway. We could drive somewhere to show them how beautiful it is,” I ramble. I know I’m not really making sense, but I worry that Viktor would somehow know if we tried to take a plane, and driving seems smarter. Using my family seemed like a good excuse in at the time, but even I know it sounds suspicious.

“Why wouldn’t they just fly here?” Cody questions because obviously, they could.

“It would be fun,” I insist. “I can call them now. I’m sure they’re still awake.”

I go to reach for my phone, but Cody grabs my arm to stop me. “Beck, you’re freaking me out.” He sounds so concerned, and I hate that I’m the one who’s going to have to tell him. “What’s wrong?” he pushes, and I know I have to stop stalling and just say it.

“Cody, I need to tell you something. Well, a lot of things, actually,” I start, wanting to warn him. “And you’re probably going to be really upset about it, but I need you to understand how much I love you and that, no matter what, I’m here for you. We have each other now, so we can get through anything, okay?” I’m gripping both of his hands in mine, holding his gaze so that he can see the sincerity in my eyes.

He nods. “Beck, whatever it is, just tell me. You’re really scaring me.”

“Cody, it isn’t normal for your boss to lock a necklace onto you. That’s called a collar, and it’s a symbol of ownership,” I say gently. His expression shifts from concerned to confused.

“It doesn’t seem healthy to limit what you’re eating so drastically, especially with all of the exercise you do. And the sleep you’re getting, Cody, it’s barely enough to function. I’ve had a lot of concerns about this place, and about Viktor, but I kept dismissing them because it seemed like your job and the company made you so happy,” I admit. “I’m sorry that I kept my concerns to myself until now. I didn’t realize I could be hurting you by ignoring how harmful all of this could be.”

I take a shaky breath. How am I supposed to tell Cody that everything he knows and loves is a lie? That a person he clearly admires and respects has been manipulating him to hurt people?

My throat tightens as I finally whisper, “Baby, I think Kyla is a cult.”

His confused expression only seems to deepen. I have no idea how he’s going to react, so I go on, trying to get out as much as I can in case he tries to shut me down. “I’m worried Viktor is a cult leader and that he’s built the company to scam people out of their money, claiming all of this ‘wisdom’ about self-improvement and success, while taking more and more money from them. I think that he selects people to be promoted to work here in Linna based on their commitment to his ideas and values. That he’s manipulating everyone here to see how much power and control he can take from them.”

I sound like the crazy one now, but I’m desperate for him to believe me.

“That stuff that you told me about everyone casually touching him and the ‘enlightened relationships’,” I keep talking, waiting for him to say something. “Do you think he’s sleeping with them too?” I voice the thought as I have it, but it feels sickeningly true as I say it.

Cody’s brows are furrowed together tightly, and his eyes squint as they bounce around the room, not focusing on anything. He doesn’t look at me, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

I have this overwhelming feeling that this could be the most crucial moment of my life, that whatever happens now could change everything.

“Cody, we need to leave before he realizes we’re onto him.” I’m begging now, I don’t think I’ve ever been more desperate for anything in my life. What he says next could determine my entire future, if I’m ever able to be happy again.

He still won’t meet my gaze as he finally murmurs, “I can’t leave.”

My whole body freezes in response to his refusal. The pain in my chest is unlike anything I’ve ever felt as my heart completely shatters. The pieces pierce through my lungs, making it impossible to breathe.

This is it then. It doesn’t matter that we love each other. Love isn’t enough. Just like that, it’s over.

I’d really started to believe we would make it, to hope.

I never wanted a happily ever after with someone until I met Cody. But now, knowing what it’s like to be his , I’m ruined. There will never be anyone else.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?