Page 14 of Accidentally Joining His Cult (Chicago Awakenings #1)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Cody

B eck and I have been talking nonstop. We’re both super busy, but we still manage to find time to text: good mornings, updates about our daily plans, and sending funny memes throughout the day. If we’re alone, even when working, we tend to have the other on the phone or video call—both of us prefer the company.

Even though Beck might seem like the loner type if you don’t know him, I’ve realized that he initiates contact just as often as I do. My chest always feels a little lighter when I see his name lighting up my screen, and it makes me happy to know that I’m not bothering him with my constant texts and calls.

The Werewolves killed it in the first round of the playoffs, advancing in only four games. I was able to watch all of the games even with my busy schedule—I wanted to know what I’m talking about when Beck and I caught up. Their captain was on fire and scored at least two points in each game, not counting his assists. I might have been out of the loop with hockey stats recently, but even I know how great that is.

Great for the city of Chicago and its hockey fans, but not so great for me.

Does it make me a bad person to admit that a small, selfish part of me was hoping they’d have lost right away so I could see Beck sooner? I want his team to do well, but the playoffs can last months, and I’m not very patient.

These past three weeks have felt endless.

But, I just got some news that has me grinning like an idiot as I hit the video call button under Beck’s name. I’m so excited that I catch myself muttering, “pick up, pick up, pick up” under my breath until his handsome face fills my screen.

“Hey, sexy,” he says in greeting. We’ve been very flirty while talking these last few weeks, but neither of us has brought up our hookups or explicitly said that we want it to happen again.

“Guess whaaat?” I sing, bouncing in my seat at my desk.

“You just quit your job and decided to become my houseboy?” he asks playfully, and it's so far from what I was expecting that I freeze.

“Your what ?”

“Nothing,” he laughs. “Just getting frustrated by the situation and wishing I could see you.”

“That’s why I called!” I’m back to bouncing in my seat. “I just got my schedule for the next month and I’ll be back in Chicago in two weeks!”

“Thank fuck,” he exhales, sounding as relieved as I feel. “I was starting to worry that I’d have to hire you again just to see you before June.”

“Lucky for you, someone at your company must have given a good recommendation because another company reached out specifically requesting to have me come do the same seminar for them.

“It’s a quick trip because I was already scheduled earlier in the week in South Carolina, so I won’t get in until late Thursday night and need to travel back to Montana on Sunday. I’ll be pretty booked during the work day, and I do have to run another program on Saturday, but in the evenings, I’m all yours!” The smile on my face feels permanent as I think about what we might get up to during my visit.

“I can’t wait.” He looks amused by my enthusiasm, but his smile matches mine. “I have to run to a meeting about the logistics of streaming the away games in the stadium to a full crowd during the rest of the playoffs, but I didn’t want to ignore your call.”

“I’m glad I caught you. I’ll send over the details of my trip, and we can figure out a plan! Have fun at your meeting.” I blow him a kiss and he laughs a “goodbye” before we hang up.

I send over all of the details before getting back to my work for the day, feeling a renewed sense of energy now that I know when I’ll see Beck again.

* * *

My heart is still racing and my muscles ache as I leave the kickboxing class that was held at the Kyla gym for our morning workout. Pretty much everyone in town participates in some sort of group fitness activity. It’s one of the ways that we can keep up with the healthy mind and body routine that the Kyla nutritionists and doctors have created under Viktor’s guidance.

Viktor is always so disappointed when someone tries to skip out on exercise, so he’s created accountability programs with financial incentives to help motivate everyone to attend classes at least five times a week. I love working out and would do it anyway, but it’s also nice not to lose money.

The gym offers a great selection of activities to choose from: hiking, swimming, yoga, dance, spin classes, you name it. If you want there to be an activity and it isn’t offered, you can even suggest it for them to add.

I love that I get to start my day with exercise to wake me up; I always feel more energized after the intense workouts. The classes are pretty early to ensure that everyone has time to participate before they need to work, and it’s so cool that I get to see my friends first thing.

My best friend, Nick, one of the personal trainers at the gym, recommends which classes I should take, and they’re always so much fun. Now that this morning’s class is finished, I’m meeting up with him so he can let me know what other classes he’ll be running while I’m in town and so we can catch up.

We meet at the coffee shop next to the gym, and after I grab our drinks, I join him in one of the booths near the front of the store.

“Hey man, it’s been too long!” Nick says with a big smile. He’s like me in that we’re both usually upbeat and energetic. Nick is about my height and super fit from all the work he does at the gym. He’s also got really pretty eyes. Actually, he’s hot, now that I think about it.

“What’s that look for?” he asks in a teasing tone.

I'm unsure what look I’m giving him, so I just go for honesty. “I didn’t realize how hot you are.” He starts choking on the sip he’d just taken, and I can’t help but laugh. “Sorry. That was probably random, but I have a lot to catch you up on.”

So I tell him how I met Beck, that he thought I was flirting with him, and how we actually went on a date, but I thought we were just hanging out like I always do with people I meet while traveling. Nick purses his lips as I talk, amusement shining in his eyes, but he doesn’t interrupt, so I go on. “We kept in touch, and I invited him to the Florida retreat. They were overbooked, so we ended up sharing a room.” His eyes go wide, and I chuckle. “He went to kiss me, and I was shocked because I’m oblivious and didn’t recognize the tension between us until he explained it.” It all sounds so strange when I say it aloud.

“We ended up hooking up, and I realized that I’m bi. Now I’m looking at everything with this new perspective, and I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.”

Nick is obviously trying not to laugh.

“Go ahead,” I say with a grin. “It’s funny.”

He bursts out laughing, and it takes a minute before he can calm down enough to say anything. “Congratulations on realizing that you’re bi,” he begins.

“Thank you!” I say earnestly.

“And thank you for thinking I’m hot,” he teases. “If I’m being honest, though,” he continues, and I frown, unsure where this could be going. “I’ve always assumed that you were into both men and women,” he admits with a shrug.

“Wait, really? Why?” Do I give off some secret bi vibe that I didn’t know about?

“You unintentionally flirt with everyone,” he says like it’s obvious.

Which it’s not . Sure, I flirt with Beck, and in the past I’ve flirted with the girls I wanted to hook up with, but definitely not everyone . My face must express my confusion because Nick laughs again before he continues.

“Cody, you’re constantly giving people flirty grins, casually touching, asking about details of their life that most people would forget. You use a lot of eye contact…” he trails off.

“None of that is flirting,” I insist. “It’s just being nice! I’m nice.”

“You’re very nice,” he reassures me. “But most people aren’t. So when you’re your normal nice self, I think that some people confuse that for interest.”

“Huh.” I’m not sure how to react to that.

“I’d bet that most of the people here have you specifically in mind as a potential partner when they commit to having an ‘enlightened relationship’. Both the men and the women,” Nick adds.

There are very popular programs run here in Linna that Viktor teaches on modern relationships that focus on avoiding the capitalistic downfalls of relationships in popular society today. So many people are with their partners because they feel trapped in the relationship financially or legally. People care more about their image—competing with other couples for likes online or with the neighbors for the best date night or the newest, shiniest car. Basically, people waste time and money ignoring their desires and needs to fit the mold of what society tells them a relationship should look like instead of supporting and empowering their partner.

I’ve never taken one of these programs because I haven’t been in a serious enough relationship to consider learning more than the basics that Viktor has shared with me. I’ve never been against being in a serious relationship the way that Beck seems to be. I just haven’t felt drawn to someone enough to put in the effort, with how much I travel and would be away from them.

Still, I know enough about the enlightened relationship idea to understand what Nick means. After the workshops, some couples decide they’d benefit from less traditional views on monogamy or from redefining what their relationship looks like. In fact, many people here choose to remain emotionally committed to their partner, living with them and maintaining their marriage or relationship while pursuing physical connections or even additional emotional and physical relationships outside of that initial pairing.

A lot of people also explore their sexuality for the first time as a result, which I’ve always thought was cool.

The concept of enlightened relationships reminds me of the swingers’ parties I’ve seen in movies. Personally, I’ve never understood the appeal, but I’m glad that they all feel comfortable pursuing what makes them happy.

“I really doubt that,” I say as I try to focus back on the conversation, and Nick gives me an indulgent grin. “Anywaaay,” I say, drawing out the word, hoping to move on. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this guy,” I admit.

“When will you see him again?” Nick asks excitedly.

“That’s the problem.” I slouch in my seat, throwing my head back with a frustrated groan. “He’s super busy with his job until the hockey team he works for is done for the season, but we don’t know when that will be because they made the playoffs,” I explain.

“Bad timing.”

“Luckily, I’ll be back in Chicago for a couple of days soon, but even then, I’ll see him for maybe a few hours,” I continue. “At least he has a lot of money, and his family is well known, so Viktor was eager to meet him in Florida. I’ve already talked to him about having Beck come here over the summer and started the visitor approval process with Kyla.”

“Smart,” Nick agrees, nodding. “What about video calls?”

“Oh yeah, we video call all the time. We both like to have it up while we’re working or doing stuff around the house so that we can spend time hanging out.”

“I meant like naked video calls,” he clarifies with a laugh, and I feel my cheeks heating.

“No, not those kinds of calls,” I say as I let out a nervous chuckle.

“Well, you should, especially if you’re not seeing other people while you talk to him.”

“I’m not, but I guess I don’t know if he is,” I admit as I realize I really don’t want him to see anyone else. Just thinking about the possibility makes me angry, and I’m never angry.

“Sounds like you need to talk to your man,” Nick points out unhelpfully, and I grunt in agreement.

* * *

I should probably be going to bed since I have an early yoga class in the morning and could really use the sleep. Instead, I’m lying in bed with a bottle of lube, some tissues, and my laptop open to a porn site, feeling like a nervous teenager.

Since my weekend in Florida with Beck, I’ve been jerking off to the memories of us together at least daily. But now that I know I’ll see him soon, combined with my conversation earlier about sexy video calls, I can’t stop fantasizing about what else Beck and I could explore in the bedroom.

And I realized today that my fantasies about sex with another man are seriously lacking. I know porn isn’t exactly a reliable source for realistic expectations—not that I have anything against it or the people in the industry. But I’m a visual learner, and surely the positions have to be somewhat accurate.

Why am I so nervous?

To ease into it, I search for a couple I’ve liked to watch in the past. It’s a man and a woman who are together in real life. I’ve always preferred it when there’s an actual connection between the actors. I try to watch like I usually would to see where my eyes land, and it doesn’t take long to acknowledge I’m definitely watching the man just as much as the woman. I notice his muscles and his swollen cock, and realize these are details I’ve paid attention to in their other videos.

Interesting. Definitely attracted to both people.

If there was ever a question about whether I’m bi or just into Beck, my growing erection while thinking about the man on my screen has erased it.

Feeling a bit more confident, I decide to search for what I logged on intending to watch, so I go back to the category selection and click on gay . I’m not sure what to look for, so I scroll, noticing a wide variety of body types and titles—some of which honestly intimidate me.

Finally, I stumbled across a video labeled “Real Life Couple, Frotting and Anal.”

Not sure what “frotting” means, but in the still image of the video, one of the guys has dark shorter hair like Beck, so I click on it.

The video starts with them making out, and I can appreciate that they’re a real couple—their chemistry is obvious, and they look completely at ease with each other.

My cock is definitely getting excited.

They’re standing naked beside a bed when the smaller of the two—the one who looks like a fake Beck—takes his hand and lines up both of their erections, wrapping them together in his grip as they thrust up into it.

My cock twitches, very intrigued by this new-to-me position that I’m guessing might be frotting.

What else have I been missing out on by limiting my sexual experiences to women?

On the screen, the larger man pulls away and crawls onto the bed with his plump ass in the air, and the fake Beck crawls up behind him, massaging his cheeks before leaning in and licking his hole.

Damn , I’ve never even considered what that would feel like, but the sounds coming from the men make me think they’re both really enjoying it. I loved it when Beck teased my hole with his wet finger. I bet his tongue would feel amazing.

Fake Beck is really going at it now, making out with his hole and fucking his tongue into it. When he starts to add a finger to stretch him, I realize that my cock is leaking and decide that I’ve waited long enough.

Spreading my legs, I bend my knees and let them fall apart as I lie back on pillows so that I’m propped up. I grab some lube and spread it up and down my aching erection with a few firm strokes. It feels incredible with how horny the video has made me, and I decide to be a little more adventurous.

I add some more lube to the fingers on my right hand and switch my left hand to grip my shaft, still working it as I explore. With my right hand, I reach down to tease my taint before moving further to tap my tight hole with a single digit. Immediately the pressure on the opening has my cock twitching, more precum weeping from the angry head.

I squeeze the base in an attempt to hold off my orgasm and moan as I add pressure, not yet breaching the hole. My hips thrust up involuntarily in response to the sensation. Pleasure is building at the base of my spine, and I know that I won’t last much longer, but I want more. I slowly increase the pressure until my finger is knuckle-deep while my other hand works up and down my rock-hard cock.

The sensation is unlike anything I’ve felt before, a fullness that seems a little forbidden while also feeling so fucking right. I’m overwhelmed by the desire to keep going, to seek more, go deeper, to be filled. I imagine that it’s Beck’s finger inside of me, that he’s stretching me out for his use, so that he can fit his thick cock inside of me. I want it . As much as I’d like to keep going, the thought of Beck filling me in that way is too much, and I can’t hold back my release. I curl in on myself as my muscles tighten, and thick ropes of cum cover my abs and chest, some even landing on my chin. My entire body seems to buzz as I continue to writhe in pleasure.

When I finally come down from the high of my orgasm and get cleaned up, I think more about the couple I’d been watching and the fantasy of Beck that had taken over. Even now, when I’m more clear-headed, I definitely want to know what it feels like to have Beck inside of me.

I’d love to top him, too, but the idea of being filled by him, of him fucking me until I can’t think straight, has me practically salivating.

I really hope he’s into that.

I think back to the way he pushed his cum covered fingers into my mouth after he finished on my face, the possessive way he smeared his release against my skin as if claiming me. The thought of his release filling me sends a shiver down my spine— what would it feel like to have him mark me from the inside with his cum?

I’ve always been negative, but I think I’ll get tested before I go to Chicago again. Just in case.

Would Beck be interested in being exclusive so we can skip condoms?

And how the fuck am I supposed to bring that up without sounding like I’m asking for a relationship?

A relationship that he’s never wanted.