Page 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Griffin’s Beach VP
W alking up the sidewalk, VP braces himself for what he’s about to do. He hasn’t seen Emma since the day they were supposed to be married, and he hopes she’s had enough time to calm down to talk rationally.
“What are you doing here?” Emma asks, stepping out onto the small porch of the house she rented.
Her blonde hair with streaks of gray is pulled back from her face, and she wears the clothes she always does when she cleans. The tasks she completes when her mind won’t settle down. Like scrubbing grout with a toothbrush kind of cleaning.
It makes me feel better, she’d tell him. When things are scrubbed, it’s like I’ve scrubbed my soul.
“Hey,” VP says. “It’s been a while.”
“What are you doing here?” she asks again.
He sighs. Maybe enough time hasn’t passed. “Zane’s gone. He left Margaret with me.”
“That’s got to be difficult. How’s she holding up?”
She still cares about Margaret. That’s a good sign.
“She’s in a lot of pain and is really confused. She lost her mom, and now her dad took off without a word.”
“What have you told her about where he went?”
She moves to sit on the top step and rests her arms on her knees as she leans forward. The space beside her isn’t big enough for him to fit, so he just continues to awkwardly stand in front of her.
“I said he had to go and find himself to be a better father for her.”
“So… you lied. Sounds about right.”
Narrowing his eyes, he frowns. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’ll say and do anything to protect him.”
“He’s my son. What do you expect me to do? Throw him to the wolves?”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “No, I expect exactly this.”
“Em—”
“What are you doing here, Nash?”
Sighing, VP looks at the ground. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“Then come home. Please. Margaret could really use you, and I—”
“No.”
He stares in confusion. She just said she misses him, too, so why would she want to stay here by herself? It would be so easy to come home and pick up right where they left off. They could go and get married like they wanted to. Try it all again.
“If you miss me, I don’t understand. We miss each other, and we love each other.”
“Love isn’t enough,” she says. “It’s time to move on.”
Move on? Is she fucking other men?
“Is that right?”
“You refuse to see the mistakes you’ve made, and I can’t be with someone who fights accountability like he does an enemy holding a gun to his head. You’re the same man I met when you were married to Maggie, and you’ll never change.”
“If you’re in love with me, why would you want me to change?”
Standing, she lifts her hands in surrender. “This is a pointless conversation to have. Good luck with Margaret. I’ve been praying for her. I can’t even imagine what she must be feeling right now.”
“Wait,” he calls as she opens the door to her house. “Can I come inside? We need to talk, and I’d rather not do it in the front yard.”
Emma studies him for a few moments, thinking about whether or not she should allow him into her house, before she nods. If he can just get her alone in private, he knows he can convince her to come back. He’s done it before.
“Coffee?”
“No, thank you,” he says. “I love you, Emma. I love you so much, I feel empty without you.”
“Do you love Lex?”
This takes him by surprise. “Of course, I do.”
“Then tell me what happened at her fifteenth birthday party. The last birthday she had here before moving to Arizona with me.”
“You threw her a party, and Zane wasn’t happy. He threw a fit.”
Eyebrows high, she scoffs. “A fit?”
“Yeah, he threw a fit. Shouted and screamed.”
“That, right there? That’s the reason we can’t be together.”
“Because Zane threw a tantrum at Lex’s birthday party twenty years ago?”
She sighs and shakes her head. “He didn’t throw a fit , Nash.
He destroyed her party. The cake I ordered with a picture of all of us, one of the three we’d taken, ended up against the wall.
Every gift anyone brought her ended up broken before she had a chance to open them.
He flipped the food and drink table over, and if the damned clubhouse wasn’t brown, the walls would have been stained red. ”
Thinking back to that time, he tries to remember what Emma describes. “That’s not how I remember it.”
“You rewrite history for Zane until you don’t know fact from fiction. And nothing anyone tells you changes your mind.”
“Emma—”
“When I got after you for not reprimanding him for it, you told me that it was my fault. I knew how Zane would react, and I did it anyway.”
Running a hand over his face, he tries to understand what she’s getting at. “If you knew he wouldn’t like it, why did you do it?”
“Because Lex deserves to be celebrated, too!” she screams. “Your daughter means something, Nash. Your son is not more important than our daughter, no matter what he’s been through in his life.”
“I never said he’s more important.”
Her frustrated scream makes him flinch as it pierces the air. “What would you have suggested we do for her birthday, then? If she’s important, too, what should we have done?”
“We could have had a nice, quiet dinner out, just the three of us. Or a few of her friends could have joined.”
“And what did you do for Zane every year?”
“We threw a party at the clubhouse.”
Emma stares at him with expectation, and she waits. He says nothing, and she clenches her fists. “Why does Zane deserve a party when Lex only deserves a quiet dinner with only the three of us?”
“Because he was going to be a member—”
“Our daughter is part of the club, too!” she interrupts. “She’s married to the fucking President, for God’s sake.”
“And that’s exactly how she got Zane kicked out of his own club.”
Pressing her hands to her temples, she shakes her head. “You don’t even hear yourself when you speak, do you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your son tried to kill our daughter, and he treats the club as though it’s just something he’s entitled to. You allowed him to act this way, and you put blame on Lex because he no longer wears the leather.”
“He just lost his wife!” he shouts at her. “I know what that feels like, okay? So sue me if I want to help ease the pain he feels because it’s one that never goes away.”
How can she act like this? Like his pain means nothing? She saw it firsthand twice now.
She rubs her hand over her mouth as she exhales loudly through her nose. “And what’s the excuse for the rest of his life?”
“He lost his mother.”
“Maybe you should have focused on teaching him how to cope rather than make excuses for his terrible behavior.”
This isn’t what he showed up here to talk about.
He wants her to come home, not discuss his parenting.
He gets enough of that from Lex. And everyone else.
No one tries to hide the fact they think he’s failed as a father, and he doesn’t need to hear it from her, too.
She hasn’t been a perfect mother herself.
“I love you, Emma.”
“Just not as much as you loved Maggie.”
“That’s not… You can’t compare it like that.”
She sits on the couch and sighs. “That’s what you told me at the wedding. I never felt like I was compared to her until then, and looking back, I see it now. I see how it affected us.”
“I don’t sit here and wish you were Maggie, Em.”
“I almost wish you did. It would make everything so much easier.”
How can she say that? I don’t want anyone but her. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. We’re just not meant to be, no matter how much I wish we were.”
Taking a chance, he sits beside her and kisses her. Emma doesn’t resist him, and he pushes further to deepen it. His tongue caresses hers, and he knows she feels it, too. The passion between them that has never gone away no matter how much time may pass between them.
She melts into him, her hands on his chest, and VP needs her. He needs her more than he’s ever needed anything before, and he strains against his jeans. The ache becomes nearly unbearable, and he needs to get them naked. Soon.
“Stop,” she says, pushing him away. “We can’t do this.”
“I think we’re more than capable of doing this,” he says with a cocky smirk.
Her eyes glance down at his crotch, and she stands. “No.”
“You feel it, too. I know you do.”
“It doesn’t mean it’s right, Nash.”
“Em, come on. We love each other, and I need you.”
Licking her lips, she walks to the door and holds it open. “Well, you have club bunnies to help you out with that.”
“I don’t want them. I want you.”
“And I want someone who’s capable of seeing the damage he’s caused to his children. I love Lex more than I love myself, and letting you back in would only tell her she doesn’t matter.”
“What happens between us doesn’t need to affect her. There are no messages being sent. Other than the fact we love each other and fit perfectly together while naked.”
She gives him a sad smile. “I really wish I could be as delusional as you are because I think you truly believe that. I really do, but at the end of the day, you’re not the man I thought you were.”
“Em—”
“I built you up into someone I don’t think you can become, and that’s on me. But you should at least be able to be a man.”
Standing, VP points to his straining fly. “Trust me, I’m a fucking man.”
“No, you’re not. Not until you can take responsibility and accountability for what you’ve done. I’ve wasted too much time hoping you could be the man I’ve wanted, and I’m done. No more wishing. No more waiting.”
“Emma, I am the man you want. I’m the same man I’ve always been. There’s been no change.”
“Don’t you see? That’s the problem. You should go, Nash. I really do hope Margaret is doing okay, all things considered.”
VP walks to the door and shakes his head. “I really don’t understand any of this.”
“I know you don’t, and I don’t owe you the time it would take to explain it. You have everything you need to know, and it’s up to you to decide to step back and look at what you’ve done or not.”
“You’re really done with me?”
“I am.”
Laughing, he steps onto the porch. “Then I guess you’re a woman without a club, huh?”
“That threat would hold more merit if you were still an officer, and my son-in-law wasn’t the President. But if you think I need the club to sustain myself, you may want to take a minute to remember how much time I spent in Arizona. Alone.”
The door shuts in his face, and he leaves. Uncomfortable and alone. How the hell did his life come to this?