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Chapter Twenty-Five

Griffin’s Beach Lex

W alking into the clubhouse, Lex sighs as Brock slams the laptop shut, and she shakes her head. “Guess I should have expected you’d all be listening.”

“Well, you did kind of slap the biggest motherfucker here and call him a lady when you ordered him outside,” Venom says. “Then slapped him silly. Kind of worth watching, babe.”

Jennings walks up and places a hand on Lex’s shoulder. She braces herself but looks at him, confused, when he asks, “You’re really in therapy?”

Damn you, Brock. As if it’s not embarrassing enough already. “Yeah, but I’m not saying anything that can be used against the club. Just high-level basics to help her understand—”

“I’m proud of you.”

Blinking, she stares at the former President. “What now?”

He smiles at her and gives her shoulder a squeeze. “There’s a lot more to what you went through than I think any of us ever realized. Shit you gotta work through.”

Is this a joke? Is he pacifying me because Colt’s in his vacated seat? He wouldn’t try and use this to take the spot back, would he?

“Uh… thanks?”

Moving to take a seat at a table near her, he chuckles. “I never really thought about it, but your reckless behavior was a cry for attention.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know, either, so don’t feel too bad,” she says with a shrug.

All eyes stay fixed on her, and she hates feeling like she’s under a microscope. Even though she’s not afraid to confront any and all of these men, it’s a different type of vulnerability right now, and she hates it.

“How long have you been going?” Shep asks.

The last thing she planned to do tonight was tell everyone about her personal life, but she’s the idiot for making a confession in view of the cameras. “Since the wedding that didn’t happen.”

“Does your mom know?” VP asks.

He’s the only one in the room who has a look of disgust on his face. It’s a look Lex expected more of when this finally came to light, but everyone looks surprised, intrigued, or indifferent. And then there’s her father.

“Yeah, she does. She’s come with me a few times.”

Venom gives her a small smile. “Looks like Colt’s the only one not surprised by this.”

“I kept it a secret for a while because I’m kind of embarrassed about it, if I’m honest. I mean, everyone thinks I can move mountains and all that shit. Admitting I’m not strong enough to handle myself feels kind of like a failure, you know?”

“It’s not a failure. And it shows just how strong you really are,” Colt says.

Shep takes her hand. “What made you realize you needed to see someone?”

The look in his eyes is one of pain and guilt. Losing his daughter, Julia, still weighs on him, and Lex knows it. Psycho’s family’s club raped and murdered her on the side of the road, and Shep has never quite forgiven himself for not being there to save her.

“I recognized the pattern of feeling like I’m always taking one step forward to fall backwards at least two. It affected me more than I realized, and Colt and my kids don’t deserve a broken version of me.”

“Because of me,” VP says.

A month or two ago, his reaction of frustrated disbelief would have sent her spiraling, but she recognizes the growth within herself. “It’s not about blame—”

“You just blamed your terrible life decisions on me!”

“Hey!” Diesel shouts. “Watch it, Nash.”

“It’s okay, D. The piece I’m working on now is finding a way to move forward without the closure I want. I can’t make anyone see how their actions affect me if they don’t want to, and I need to learn to forgive without an apology.”

VP laughs. “You feel you deserve an apology. From me?”

“You don’t?” TK asks. “No wonder you’re completely alone and raising your granddaughter. Not even the son you babied his entire life wants to be around you. Speaking of, how’s that asshole doing?”

“I did the best I fucking could!” VP shouts at Colt’s father. “I can’t be everything for everyone all the fucking time.”

“You let guilt drive everything you did when it came to your kids, and we all know it,” Jennings says. “Even you do, though I doubt you’ll ever cop to it.”

The way VP looks around frantically, only his eyeballs moving back and forth, means he feels cornered. And it’s all too familiar to Lex. Him lashing out at others to deflect, which really only hurts him more than helps him. Especially here with more people against him than with him.

“Oh, and all of you are such good parents? Diesel, your daughter ended up a cokehead for twenty years and could’ve died in a ditch without you knowing because you threw her ass out,” VP growls.

Here we go. Please, VP, just stop. Walk away and lick your wounds.

“Fuck you,” Diesel shouts.

“Leave my wife out of this,” Grayson agrees. “It’s shit like this that makes it difficult for people who have successfully beaten their demons to feel like they are successful in life.”

He just snorts and looks at Jennings. “And your son was the town whore.”

“Oh, good insult,” Tripp sneers, his hand on his chest like he’s being stabbed. “But then love saved me, and I have a beautiful family with a wife I adore. Yeah, you really got me there, Nash.”

“Okay, how about you, Shep? Your daughter was—”

“Don’t you dare finish that statement,” Lex jumps in.

“Deflecting your poor choices by bringing others down to your level only proves what I’ve been saying.

You have a complete lack of accountability and self-awareness.

What happened to Julia was not Shep’s fault, and you don’t get to pull that tragedy into this scenario. ”

Shep’s hands shake at his sides as he stands behind Lex, and she knows she’s a barrier to keep him from pummeling her father. Not that she’d be all that upset if he pushed her aside and made good on what she knows he imagines doing in his mind right now.

“You don’t—”

“I don’t give a fuck, VP,” Lex says. “Say whatever you want about me and to me, but I will be damned if I let you bring Shep’s daughter into this. Or anyone’s child, for that matter.”

“That’s—”

“No, just… no. I’ve accepted that you’re not the man I thought you were. You could be that man, but you refuse. I have to admit I was wrong about you. But don’t you dare go dragging others into this because you need validation that you weren’t that bad in comparison. It won’t work, anyway.”

Colt walks up and takes her hand. “You’re a hell of a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, babe.”

She shakes her head and lets out a long breath. “I’ve done the best I can, but I know I’m capable of being better. To do that, I have to do what VP has never done. I have to accept my shortcomings. Which is, like, really fucking difficult. I mean, look at my DNA.”

It was meant as a joke, but no one really chuckles because of the validity of it. TK snorts but says, “That’s a lot of personal growth.”

“I think it’s more like hitting rock bottom, actually, but I’m a work in progress. But I swear, nothing I say can ever come back to the club. I would never—”

“We know,” Jennings says. “Trust me, we know.”

Letting out another long breath, she closes her eyes. “Okay, so this impromptu show and tell was fun and everything, but I’d like to pretend like it didn’t happen, okay? You have stuff to do when it comes to finding this serial killer dude, right?”

“This motherfucker has so many aliases that I’m losing my mind. He has the audacity to use Chuck Norris as one of them,” Brock says. “Fucking Chuck Norris?”

“I fucking love Chuck Norris,” Lex says and laughs when most everyone holds back a laugh as she opens her eyes. “What? So, I have learning how to do a roundhouse kick on my bucket list and could watch Walker, Texas Ranger every day for the rest of my life. Sue me.”

“We have a small area in the garage with workout equipment,” Colt says with a long chuckle, “and Lex pushes harder during the fight scenes of the show.”

Her jaw drops. “I mean, obviously. But, wait, you watch me work out? That’s kind of creepy.”

“Baby, you wear tight shorts and a sports bra. It’s like my own Baywatch minus the beach and lifesaver under your arm.”

Rolling her eyes, she can’t help but smile at her husband. “Of course it is.”

“My baby’s hot. What do you expect me to do?”

“Get back to work,” she says, but winks at him before turning towards the stairs. “Jamie, why don’t you try to get some sleep?”

The brunette appears around the corner. “How’d you know I was here?”

“Because I’m that good,” she says.

“He’s right, you know.”

“Babe, I can argue that statement ten different ways without knowing which he you’re referring to simply because you’ve referenced a man. They are rarely ever right. Especially around here.”

“Hey!” Venom calls out but laughs.

She shrugs. “Tell me where I’m wrong.”

“I’m not Undertaker’s old lady anymore, so I don’t really belong here.”

“Sure you do. You’re my friend, and my friends are welcome. Now go get some sleep. We can’t risk a sociopath finding you.”

Giving a non-committal shrug, Jamie turns around and walks back to the apartment she was shown to. Undertaker, who Lex didn’t realize had walked back inside, stares after her. Lex just pats him on the shoulder.

“I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

“Yes, and not in the good way,” she says. “Sorry, dude, but you kind of deserve this.”

If he thought she wasn’t serious when she promised to call him out on his bullshit, he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. As much as Lex likes Undertaker, even she has to admit he’s fallen more than a little short of what he promised Jamie, and Jamie deserves a lot better than this.