Page 97 of Academically Yours

“Damn you, Matthew Harper,” I muttered under my breath.Just the thought of him brought butterflies to my stomach, and I knew, even more so after last night, that I was falling for him.

And I worried about everything that could go wrong—because I didn’t want to lose him like I had lost Jake. I didn’t want him to wake up one day and realized I was annoying, and not worth the time and effort, because I cared too much about him. And I couldn’t have handled it if he decided that I wasn’t enough for him. Who cared what people thought, anyway—he cared about me, and that was all that mattered. I knew by how he touched me, regarded me so reverently, held me like I was something to be cherished, to be loved.

I needed to get my feelings under control. I wasn’t supposed to fall for him, to get so attached to him, and I certainly shouldn’t be thinking about him after the most intimate weekend of my life.

A knock came at my door, and I sucked in a breath. “Come in!” I said, dusting my poptart crumbs off of my leggings before attempting to tidy my coffee table that I was currently working at.

When Hazel popped her head in the door, I sighed in relief. “Oh good, it’s just you,” I said.

“Just me?” Hazel laughed. “Glad to know that’s how high I rank in your list, Noelle.”

I shook my head. “You know what I mean. I thought you were a student.”

She stuck her tongue out at me before plopping on the couch next to me. “So. I hear you had a fun spring break.”

“Heard from who?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, you know… just our RAs.”

“They didn’t!” I gasped.

She nodded dramatically. “I’m afraid so. And they reported that Professor Hottie—their words, not mine—was even better looking this time than at the zoo. And they asked me if you two were dating.” Hazel raised an eyebrow at me. “And I couldn’t exactly answer them, so… Are you?”

“Haze!” I protested. “I can’t believe you’re gossiping about my relationship with our resident assistants! Didn’t you spend spring break with Lucas, anyway?”

“Maybe.” She just gave me a look. “But we at least had the good thought to not spend it in Portland.”

I just laughed. “I may or may not be calling him my boyfriend now, yeah.” I ran my fingers through my curls absentmindedly. “But I didn’t think those two were going to rat me out to you!”

Hazel held up a dollar bill and gave me a devilish grin. “You’d be surprised what a few of these can do.”

“You bribed our staff? Hazel!” I groaned.

She shrugged. “You’ve been too busy to give me all the good gossip, so…”

“I promise, I will tell you about my life,” I said, rubbing my temples. “If, and only if, you promise to stop asking our RAs about my relationship.”

Hazel nodded in agreement. “For the sake of disclosure, some of them have also caught you two kissing outside of the dorm.”

I flushed. “Oh God.”

After Hazel left and the bulk of my work for the day (and a little bit of writing) had been completed, I sat against the couch, eating Chinese takeout. I was wishing I was eating one of Matthew’s homemade meals instead.

I knew that his sister was flying in the next morning, and we had decided that I wouldn’t stay over while she was there, however much I wanted to, but I couldn’t deny that I just wanted to talk about it—him, everything—with someone, so I sent a text to the group chat.

Best Friends Book Club

Me: Anyone down for dinner tonight at my place?

Charlotte: I’m in, duh.

Angelina: I’ll bring the wine. What time?

Me: 6? Whenever you want is fine.

Gabbi: I’ll be over after I finish my book!

I laughed. Somehow the three of them had always been capable of putting a smile on my face, and I loved that no matter what was going on, Gabbi always had her nose stuck in a book. I couldn’t say anything because I normally did too. Once this semester was done, I was going to get my reading goal back on track. Grad school had definitely curbed my ability to read lately.