Page 13 of Academically Yours

“Well, even so.” She sighed. “I never realized everything you sacrificed for me. And I feel like it’s my fault that you’re still all alone and haven’t gotten married yet. Like maybe if you hadn’t had to take care of your kid sister, you would have already met the love of your life and gotten married.”

“Tess,” I said, furrowing my brow even though I knew she couldn’t see me. “No. I didn’t stop dating people because I was taking care of you. I promise. I just didn’t have anyone I was interested in back then.”

“And now?” She asked, and I could almost hear her grin through the phone.

Did I? I was attracted to Noelle, sure, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to date her. Just that I wanted to get to know her. Maybe in more than one sense of the word.

“Tessa,” I said, rolling my eyes as I sighed in exasperation. “I promise I’ll tell you if I meet someone. Okay?”

“Okay. Maybe this year? I’d really like a sister-in-law, you know.”

I groaned, rubbing my hand over my face. “It’ll happen when it happens.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“Well, it’s true.”

“Well, try a little bit harder, bro. You’re not getting any younger, and I want a niece or a nephew before you’re in a walker,” she teased me and then paused. There was some chatter in the background of the call, and I could tell she had pulled the phone away from her ear to listen to it. “Listen, Matthew, I gotta go, but take care of yourself, okay? And even if summer doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll come to visit for Spring Break. I know our weeks are different, but I’d still love to come out if you’re okay with it?”

“Of course, Tess. We have a bit to figure it out. Just let me know.”

“I will.” She sounded happy. “I love you, big bro. Miss you lots.”

“Miss you too, baby sis. Take care of yourself. Don’t let those silly NYC boys forget how kick-ass you are, okay? Keep that boyfriend of yours in line.”

Tess giggled into the line. “Never. I’m keeping him on his toes, I promise.”

“Okay, bye. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye!” She exclaimed, and then promptly hung up the phone, leaving me somehow even more homesick for my little sister’s presence than I had been 20 minutes ago before calling her.

I made a note on my phone about spring break, reminding me to check in with her about flights in a few weeks. Hopefully, she wouldn’t change her mind and want to stay in NYC or take a trip with her best friends or boyfriend and would come here.

I could use some sister time.

Also, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit this to myself, but I could use something else to get excited about that wasn’t the thought of seeing Noelle around campus. Yeah, something was definitely wrong with my brain for me to be thinking about that little redhead this much.

But could I see more with her? A future, a life? I thought about what Tessa said about kids and frowned. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about it before—having a family, settling down, having two kids, the white picket fence, and the big house. Yet I couldn’t help but worry because I knew the truth: once you had everything, you could also lose it, just like that. And I didn’t think I could survive losing everything. Not again.

~ ~ ~

As if my mind had manifested her, on Wednesday, I finally saw her again—bundled up in a burnt-orange turtleneck sweater dress and her winter coat back on top, walking towards the coffee shop on campus as class got out.

The coffee shop where I was currently sitting.

I had tried to go about my way on campus the rest of the week without thinking about her too much, without looking for her everywhere I went, but it was impossible. It was like now that I had seen her, my mind was specifically tuned to her frequency, and all it wanted to do was seek her out.

And God, if knowing she was out in the cold without someone to warm her hands did something to me, I wasn’t going to show it. Nope, nope, absolutely not. Because why the hell was I thinking these thoughts? She wasn’t mine, and what she did or didn’t do had no impact on my life. Absolutely none.

A moment later, with her sweater dress and leggings and with her long hair pulled into a ponytail on top of her head, there she was. Had I manifested her? Had I somehow made myself see the girl of my dreams wherever I went? But no, she was there, that tiny smile of hers and all as she ordered a cup of coffee and pointed to something in the pastry case.

Girl of your dreams? Oh god, Matthew. You need to rein it in buddy, I tried to scold myself. And so, I did what any normal, sane person would do when they saw the girl they had spent an entire evening talking to standing at a coffee shop (not). I called her name.

“Noelle?”

“Oh, my God.” Her hand flew over her heart. “Professor Harper. I’m sorry, you startled me.”

“Sorry.” I frowned. “My bad. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I shook my head.