Page 69

“Lizzy?”

At the sound of her sister’s voice, Elizabeth glanced back down the hall. “Yes, Lydia?”

“Are you going for a walk? Can I… May I come with you?”

To be honest, Elizabeth had been looking forward to a bit of solitude before the rest of the family woke and the dizzying business of preparing for the wedding started up again.

However, the plaintive tone of Lydia’s request reminded her that she had seen very little of her youngest sister in the days since they had returned from London.

“Yes, of course. Are you dressed?”

Lydia opened her bedchamber door wider so that her sister could see that she was ready except for the boots in her hand.

“Well, come along then. Keep quiet until we get outside, though; everyone else is still asleep.”

Lydia was confused when her sister headed toward the back stairs, but her curiosity was soon satisfied when she followed Elizabeth into Longbourn’s warm, busy kitchen where the organized bustle made it clear that the servants had been up and at work for some time.

The youngest Miss Bennet had never really considered how her food came to be at the table; she simply relied on the fact that she could sit down for meals or ring for tea and it appeared.

The smiles and greetings directed toward Elizabeth, however, made it clear that her appearance was not unexpected.

“Good morning, Miss Lizzy.”

“Off on your walk? Looks to be a beautiful day, it does.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Hill. The weather does look to be fine, doesn’t it? Hopefully not too warm, though. Are you baking this morning, Mrs. Jones? ”

The cook gave her a fond look. “Yes indeed, Miss Lizzy. Rain or shine, hot or cold, Thursday is for baking. Now then, I don’t suppose you’d care to sample one of these popovers for me? They’re just out of the oven.”

Elizabeth grinned. “What will I do without you to satisfy my sweet tooth, Mrs. Jones?” Recalling her companion, she moved to the side so that Lydia was no longer hidden beyond the doorway. “My sister is walking out with me this morning—would you happen to have an extra popover for her, as well?”

Lydia could tell that the servants were surprised to see her, but soon enough the sisters were slipping out the kitchen door into the cool, early morning air with warm muffins tucked in their pockets.

After confirming that her sister had no preference, Elizabeth chose their direction and led the way, moving briskly along a path that paralleled the hedgerow.

The sun had not yet burnt through the mist and the damp, grey landscape suited her mood; Fitzwilliam had left for Derbyshire on the previous day and expected to be gone for close to a fortnight.

After receiving an express from his steward on a problem complex enough to require his personal attention, Darcy had discussed the matter with her and they had agreed that it would be better for him to deal with the problem now rather than worry about it during their wedding trip.

Travelling to Pemberley immediately would also allow him to arrange for his steward’s assistant to move to Longbourn.

Elizabeth suppressed a sigh. She had tried to convince herself that his trip would allow her to focus on saying goodbye to her friends and family in Hertfordshire without worrying that Darcy was bored or made to feel uncomfortable.

However, he had been gone barely a day and already she missed him dreadfully.

“Lizzy?”

Elizabeth turned to her sister with a smile. “I’m sorry, Lydia… I fear my head is as foggy as the weather this morning.”

“It’s alright. I thought you were probably missing Mr. Darcy.”

Startled by her perception, Lizzy colored slightly. “Yes, I admit I do miss him a great deal.” She breathed in the fresh air before adding philosophically, “However, that does not mean I cannot appreciate your company on such a fine morning!”

When her tease prompted only a tentative smile, Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow. “How are you, Lydia? You’ve been very quiet this last week.”

That simple question was enough to open the floodgates. “I… I… oh Lizzy, everyone hates me! Kitty won’t speak to me… and Jane looks at me with such scorn … and Mama… Mama…” She burst into tears.

Elizabeth stopped to wrap her arm around the sobbing girl’s shoulders. “Oh Lydia, none of us hate you. Our bonds of familial affection are stronger than that. ”

“But Mama keeps looking at me as if I have disappointed her so… and nothing I say seems to make it better.”

“Oh, dear. Here, use my handkerchief.” Elizabeth patted her sister’s back as the youngest Miss Bennet blew her nose.

When Lydia seemed a little calmer, Elizabeth spoke firmly; “First, know that we all love you: your sisters, Mama, Papa, all of us.”

She laughed aloud at the girl’s doubtful look.

“Truly, we do, and that will never change.” Her tone grew serious.

“However, your behavior did disappoint Mama… all of us, really. And even more, it frightened us. Until you show that you understand what you did wrong and will never again act in a way that invites such risks, I doubt our parents will trust you out in company.”

“But I promised I wouldn’t do it again…”

“That isn’t enough, Lydia. It’s not just that you tried to run away with Mr. Wickham…

it’s that you even considered it. You were not forced in to such a situation, your behavior led to it.

This is not like remembering to close the gate after you forgot once and the pigs got into the garden. In this case, trust must be earned.”

“But how am I to do that when I cannot go anywhere or do anything?”

“Lydia…”

“But it’s true! You know it’s true! How am I to show Mama and Papa that I’m not going to run off with another officer if I’m never allowed out in company? It’s been months since I went to a party!”

Frustrated and unwilling to stay still any longer, Elizabeth turned back to the path. “Come—I can’t stay out long this morning and I want to walk.”

After a few minutes, Lizzy commented, “Last spring, someone told me that, in most polite circles, younger sisters are not allowed out in society until the older ones are married. At the time, I laughed, for it seemed to me that such an arrangement would only breed resentment. You, however, are making me rethink my position.”

“But Lizzy…”

Elizabeth allowed her sister to air her grievances unimpeded for a time, hoping that the girl might be better able to listen when a week’s worth of complaints were not jammed in her throat.

Eventually, however, she reached her limit.

“Enough! Lydia, usually I leave the bible verses to Mary, but perhaps you might consider Luke 6:31, ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.’

“How would you like it if Jane or I did something for our own selfish pleasure and, as a result, you were never invited to another party or dance again?”

The concept was so hideous that Lydia could not think of a word to say.

“ That was what you almost did to your sisters! And I haven’t heard a single word of remorse out of you—only self-pity!

Did you even notice how worried your mother was when we arrived at Longbourn?

How miserable Papa has been? Has it ever occurred to you that you owe them an apology for causing such pain?

Or your sisters, for nearly ruining all of our futures? ”

Glad to see Lydia shocked to silence for the moment, Elizabeth left her to contemplate her behavior and continued on her walk.

Reaching a small knoll where she often paused to watch the sunrise, Lizzy perched on an old stone wall and made a conscious effort to set aside her sister’s problems and simply enjoy the morning.

Nibbling on her popover, she cocked her head when a thrush began to sing and tried to memorize every detail of the scene so that she would have it to recall when she was in Derbyshire.

Meanwhile, Miss Lydia Bennet was left standing stock still on the path.

The girl had been unhappy enough with the situation at Longbourn to seek out her older sister, but the outcome of their conversation was not at all what she expected.

She was not a stupid girl, however, and as she considered their discussion, she found that several of Lizzy’s points made her look at the world (and particularly her family) rather differently.

For a moment, she tried to imagine how she herself would have felt if one of her own sisters had run off with an officer and all of the unpleasant predictions Elizabeth had talked about had actually come about. It was not an enjoyable thought.

When she finally returned to the present, Lydia moved to join her sister on the wall.

Though not in the habit of considering anyone’s wishes but her own, she could see that Elizabeth did not desire conversation and managed to curb her tongue for a time.

Her effort was aided by both the goodness of the popover and by the new thoughts whirling in her mind.

Eventually, however, Lydia’s high animal spirits could not be suppressed, and it was not too many minutes before she was kicking her heels against the stones. “Lizzy?”

Elizabeth sighed very slightly before answering, “Yes, Lydia?”

“If I promise to be very, very good, do you think Papa would let me stay at Longbourn?” She watched her sister from the corner of her eye.

This time Elizabeth sighed loudly enough to be heard. “No, Lydia. You are going to school. The letters have been sent and your place is reserved for the autumn term.”

“But I won’t know anyone…”

Elizabeth chuckled a little and was struck by the thought that her sister was suffering from a bout of nerves.

“And since when has that ever concerned you? Lydia Bennet, you have a great talent for making new acquaintances. I would be very surprised if you do not have a flock of best friends before the first week is over.”