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She turned to stand directly before her sister, arms folded and a fierce look in her eye.

“Do you understand what I am saying, Lydia? Even if he did not get you with child, your reputation would have been ruined by staying the night alone with a man, and your sisters’ by association.

No respectable gentlemen would wish to marry any of us and society would have shunned us. Do you understand, Lydia?”

Lydia’s head was spinning. “But Lizzy, that wouldn’t have happened… we were to be married… ”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the girl’s resistance to the reality of the situation.

“You might have thought that when you first agreed to go, but surely you cannot still be so naive? When we caught you at that inn, you could barely stand for all the liquor you had drunk and Mr. Wickham was taking you up to a bedchamber. What did you think was going to happen? He would have taken you to his bed, whether you were willing or not.”

Lydia paled but her sister pressed on. “Do you understand me? George Wickham is a strong, fit young man; even if you had the sense to protest, he would have held you down and hurt you. That is lust , not love , which your flirting inspired.”

Tired from her anger, Elizabeth moved to the bed and sat down again.

After some minutes considering what she had heard, Lydia spoke very quietly; “Are you sure, Lizzy? I’ve stolen kisses before, from Denny and Carter and… oh, so many others that I can’t even name them all. Nothing like that ever happened...”

At first, Elizabeth could do nothing more than stare at her sister in horror; she’d long recognized Lydia’s poor behavior, but she’d had no idea that the girl had been so…

loose. Eventually she was able to pull herself together and answer her sister’s question, but Lydia had observed her shock easily enough.

“You’ve been very, very lucky, Lyddie; that’s all I can say. Had any one of those men spoken of it—boasted of it over an ale in the pub—your reputation would have been ruined.”

“But wouldn’t he have married me then?”

Lizzy rolled her eyes at her sister’s willful ignorance.

“No, Lydia. No gentleman wishes to marry a woman who has lost her virtue. In some instances, a man might be found and bribed to marry such a woman, but Papa has no money set aside for such a thing, and our dowries are too small to tempt any but the poorest clerk or farmer.”

“A farmer!?!” croaked Lydia.

Elizabeth studied her sister for a moment.

Although she disliked gossiping about the misfortunes of others, it occurred to her that, in this instance, it might do some good.

“Do you remember Miss Hester Purvis? She was a year older than Jane. The family moved away from Meryton when she was eighteen.”

Buoyed by the memory, Lydia smirked. “Oh yes! She was ruined—everyone was talking about it!” Then her eyes grew large, making the connection. “I didn’t really know what it meant… just that she was not as good as us anymore…”

Taking in the girl’s stunned look, Elizabeth felt a little of her anger melt away, leaving sadness in its place.

“There was an assembly at the inn at Meryton… just like the ones you and I have attended. It was a hot evening and Hester was feeling light-headed, so she stepped out on the balcony to ge t some air. She thought she went alone; it didn’t even occur to her to ask one of her friends to accompany her.

Unfortunately, her last dance partner followed.

He was a young gentleman, a guest of the family leasing Netherfield at the time, and he had drunk too much wine.

Before Hester could get away, he had pressed her into the corner of the balcony and began kissing her, ignoring her protests, or perhaps in his drunkenness he thought that they were words of encouragement.

Do you understand? She did not want to kiss him but he twisted her arm and would not stop. ”

Elizabeth paused for a moment, preparing herself to retell the event that had birthed much of her distrust of her mother.

“I was paying particular attention to the gentleman, you see, for he was to partner me for the next set.” She grit her teeth, wondering (not for the first time) how much of the fiasco had been her own fault.

“Unfortunately, I was standing with Mama and made the mistake of mentioning it to her. She insisted that we go after him when he stepped out of the room—that perhaps he had forgotten his obligation to me. It was one of the first assemblies I had attended since coming out, so I did not argue with her.”

Lizzy sighed, wishing yet again that she had had the sense to divert her mother’s attention to something else.

“When Mama saw them on the balcony, she began shrieking that Hester was ruined… that the man had to marry her. It felt as if the entire room went absolutely silent except for my mother’s voice.

Everyone heard her… and then saw Hester and the gentleman come back in, both flushed and Hester’s dress not quite right.

Her family took her home immediately but there was no way to hush it up. ”

Lydia’s eyes were wide. “Did he marry her? Is that why they moved away?”

Her sister responded in a harsh voice. “No, Lydia. He was already engaged to an heiress from Devonshire and had no interest in breaking their agreement, even if the contracts had not already been signed. He left Meryton a day or two later without even bothering to call on old Mr. Purvis. Meanwhile, Mama and Aunt Philips’ gossip made it impossible for Hester and her family.

The Purvises were cut at every turn; no one would accept their calls and whispers followed them whenever they were seen in Meryton. ”

Elizabeth was faintly pleased to see that Lydia looked almost as ill as she felt. “Oh Lord, Lizzy… I remember teasing them myself! Kitty, Maria, and I were playing by the road and saw Miss Purvis and her sisters walk by. We called them harlots… I didn’t even know what the word meant!”

Elizabeth sighed. “You probably heard it from our mother, for she did nothing to hold her tongue. She called them wanton and worse, though never to their faces, of course… as if that somehow made her behavior more genteel. ”

After some moments of contemplation, Lydia asked plaintively, “What happened to them, Lizzy? The Purvis girls? Did they have to go to work as governesses?”

Elizabeth smiled sadly at her younger sister. “You say that as if it were the worst thing that could happen to a lady, Lyddie. No, no respectable family would hire a lady with a tarnished reputation to teach their children.”

“Then what?” Lydia began to look truly frightened now.

“Mr. Purvis had inherited a small house in Manchester from an uncle. He moved the family there and leased Purvis Lodge out. Hester was sent to live with cousins in Edinburgh and took their name so as to conceal her identity. She still exchanges letters with Jane once a year or so. The last we heard, she had married a widower.”

“Was he handsome? And rich? Does he have an estate and a house in town?” Lydia still hoped for a fairytale ending.

“No, Lydia. He is a forty year old clerk at a brewery who needed a healthy woman to keep his home and raise his four children. It is no love match; Hester wrote that she respected him and felt blessed to have gained a respectable husband and home.” Lizzy fell silent, suddenly struck by the similarity between Hester and Charlotte’s sentiments regarding their marriages.

After a few minutes, Lydia sighed. “I had no idea things like that happened in sleepy little Meryton. Mrs. Forster’s life seemed so romantic and exciting… traveling and, and… well, doing things.”

Elizabeth studied her youngest sister, trying to understand her.

“I am sure that the life of an officer’s wife is occasionally exciting, but those times are few and far between.

There are long intervals of drudgery and, unless there is an inheritance, poverty.

Have you thought about that, Lydia? Papa will not be able to give your husband more than fifty pounds a year, so it would mean living in rented houses and doing most of the cooking and cleaning yourself because you cannot afford servants.

Packing up and moving every few months if you want to stay with your husband.

It isn’t all parties and reviews, Lydia; do you understand that? ”

The younger girl tried to protest but her confidence had been shaken and her older sister seemed able to counter every argument with unpleasant facts.

Finally, Lydia gave up and began to accept that her fantasy of being an officer’s wife was just that…

a fantasy. Moving on, her thoughts turned back to the life she did know.

“But Lizzy… I can’t just sit quietly and embroider screens or net purses all day long every day for the rest of my life!

I would … explode! I just can’t sit still for that long…

Papa can lock me in my room but I feel as if I’ll start bouncing off the walls!

Once when he sent me to my room at Longbourn, I opened the window and climbed down the rose trellis…

I went into Meryton and bought myself sweets…

and they weren’t even very good,” admitt ed Lydia miserably.

Elizabeth studied her sister thoughtfully.

For the first time, it occurred to her that, of the five, Lydia was most like herself in energy.

They both had a nearly uncontrollable need to be doing things, while the other girls seemed content to sit and apply themselves to feminine pursuits that society deemed appropriate.

Lizzy reached out to take her sister’s hand and spoke in a much friendlier tone than she had used all afternoon.

“Nor can I, in all honesty.” She paused and then made a decision.

“Lydia, why don’t you come with me on my walk tomorrow morning?

I warn you, I plan to go early so that I can be back in time to help Aunt Maddy get everything ready for the party.

I can show you how I work off some of that energy so that I am not climbing the walls by noon. ”

“Where do you go?”

“Just to the park across the street, and I always take one of our uncle’s manservants.

Bert thinks I am rather odd, I am afraid, as I tend to walk very quickly.

” Her eyes twinkled. “That’s why I go early, so that no one will see me.

” Her glimmer of smile burst into a conspiratorial giggle when she added in a whisper, “When I’m at Longbourn, I run! ”

Lydia looked at her with wide eyes. “Really? I always thought you were sitting somewhere reading those heavy tomes of Papa’s, or thinking up witty comments to amuse him with.”

Elizabeth laughed shortly before realizing that her sister was quite serious.

“Oh stars, no, Lydia. I go to be by myself. Sometimes to escape Mama and her nerves…. sometimes to get away from Papa and his sarcasm. But most often I simply need to walk through the woods, to climb Oakham Mount, to run up a hill and back down again. Basically, whatever I have to do so that I’m able to sit calmly in the drawing room when it is required. ”

The sisters were quiet for a time while Lydia contemplated what she had learned and Elizabeth allowed herself to daydream about what it would be like to have all of Pemberley’s park to explore.

She was recalled to the present only when Lydia finally agreed, “I would like to come with you tomorrow, Lizzy, if you really don’t mind. ”

Elizabeth grinned. “Excellent! I will tell the maid to wake you at seven.” She was pleased when Lydia did not seem too shocked by the early hour.

Before she could tease her about it, though, they both heard footsteps on the stairs.

Seeing Lydia shrink slightly, still clutching the pillow to her chest, Elizabeth stood.

“I’ll tell everyone that you need some time alone.

Do you wish to join the family for dinner, or would you rather I had a tray sent up? ”

Lydia looked up at her with such gratitude that it was almost pitiful. “Oh, yes, thank you, Lizzy. I… I would like to be alone for a little.”

Elizabeth merely nodded and leaned down to kiss her sister’s hair. “I will explain so that they understand. Get some rest.”

Just as she was closing the door behind her, Lizzy caught a glimpse of tears rolling down her sister’s cheeks.