Page 64

Several days after dining with the Fitzwilliams, Mr. Bennet and his three daughters settled into Mr. Darcy’s most comfortable carriage for the drive back to Hertfordshire.

As the day promised to be warm, Bingley and Darcy both chose to ride alongside.

However, even as the coach became increasingly stuffy, Mr. Bennet could not help but enjoy the time alone with his daughters.

The two eldest were to be married in less than a month and, although he could admit to himself that he approved of and even rather liked both Jane and Elizabeth’s fiancés, there was no changing the fact that the young felons were planning to abscond with two of his girls.

Rather than pursue that particular train of thought, however, Thomas turned his attention on his youngest daughter.

The best that could be said about Lydia was that she appeared to be more conscious of how her behavior was perceived by those beyond her family circle.

She was not vicious or immoral, only wild and thoughtless, and he feared that he would never be able to make up for fifteen years of neglect.

As a result, Lydia would soon be leaving Longbourn as well.

His head filled with advice from the Gardiners, various Fitzwilliams, and even the Davenports, Mr. Bennet had decided that Lydia would be sent to a school in the north of England, close enough to Pemberley that his youngest could join the family for holidays, but far enough from any significant society that there was little possibility for her to expose herself in public.

At least, Thomas liked to believe that he had made the final decision.

It was entirely possible that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy had considered the matter between themselves and then gently guided him to the conclusion that they deemed best. He smirked to himself.

He was not unaccustomed to such management by Lizzy, but his favorite had lately displayed a new self-confidence in her opinions that had left her father alternately proud and irritated.

The travelers broke their trip halfway, pausing at a coaching inn that had been used before by the Bennets.

As the stablemen worked to see to the horses, Elizabeth stepped away from the tumult of the yard and found a bit of quiet shade under a great old oak.

She discretely patted the sweat from her neck with a handkerchief while watching a squirrel perched on a branch.

She smiled when it chattered at her. “I would be happy to help you take off that fur coat, Sir Squirrel, for I imagine that you are much too hot in it. But you will need to come down here and show me where the buttons are if you wish my assistance…”

The squirrel and the lady carried on their conversation for several minutes until Elizabeth heard footsteps behind her.

Turning, she was not surprised to discover that Mr. Darcy had left his gelding with a stable boy and followed her.

He had been very quiet all morning but, in the confusion of saying goodbye to the Gardiners and settling into the carriage, there had been no time to speak privately.

Once they were underway, she had become distracted by her father and sisters and temporarily forgotten her concern.

Darcy’s strained expression quickly reminded her, however.

“The others have gone inside for tea. Do you wish to join them?” The grim, stiff figure before her reminded Lizzy far more of the unpleasant gentleman who had offended most of Meryton the previous autumn than the considerate lover who had been courting her these last months.

Elizabeth forced herself to smile, hoping it would encourage him to be easier. “Thank you; perhaps in a minute. For now, it is nice to get a bit of fresh air.”

Darcy nodded shortly but said nothing, seemingly focused on twisting the signet ring on his finger.

Unfortunately, Elizabeth’s own concerns caused her to misjudge the root of his mood.

She sighed before commenting, “My mother will be very eager to welcome you and Mr. Bingley back, but the two of you may escape to Netherfield as soon as the carriage is unloaded.” Her tone was sharper than she had intended and left Darcy blinking in confusion.

“I had not… that is… I…” He stopped for a moment, shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

When he opened them, he could see Elizabeth was watching him carefully.

“I apologize. My mind was elsewhere.” Suddenly recalling her words, he spoke more fervently, unconsciously reaching out to take her hand.

“No—no… it is nothing to do with your mother or Longbourn… though I will admit to being slightly homesick for Derbyshire… this heat is disagreeable, don’t you think? ”

Elizabeth considered him for a moment before relaxing her hand in his. He kissed the back of it gallantly and did not let it go, even when she pulled on it slightly. Instead, he simply stood, studying their two hands with the same distant look that he had addressed to his ring earlier.

“Fitzwilliam? What is it? Is something wrong with Georgiana?” asked Lizzy more gently. Miss Darcy had remained in London for her music lessons and would be traveling to Hertfordshire in a fortnight with her cousins.

Elizabeth’s fiancé shook his head, but neither spoke nor let go of her hand.

The lady rolled her eyes. If he would not tell her, then she supposed that she could only continue her guessing. “Not Georgiana… then perhaps it is Colonel Fitzwilliam? Or Miss de Bourgh?”

Each of these names drew similar headshakes, but she caught a ghost of a smile and considered it to be progress. “Perhaps Lord Ashbourne and Lady Alameda have announced their intention to travel to darkest Africa as missionaries?”

Darcy broke into a small chuckle at this, for the very idea was beyond his ability to imagine.

Although they were standing on a public green, he pulled Elizabeth to him for just a second, kissing her forehead and then tucking her hand around his arm and guiding them to stroll along the grassy verge.

“You have a rare talent for teasing me out of my doldrums,” he commented softly.

“Hmmm…. it would be easier on both of us if you would confide in me. Something is weighing on you—I apologize for leaping to the conclusion that it was my mother. That most likely reflects more of my own anxiety than I care to admit.”

Darcy shrugged, his eyes staring out across the fields, though Lizzy suspected he saw little.

“As Richard very wisely pointed out to me, I’m not accustomed to large families such as yours.

I always wished for more siblings when I was younger, particularly when I visited the Fitzwilliams at Matlock, but having cousins just wasn’t the same.

” He trailed off and was silent for a few minutes before returning to his point.

“It isn’t that I dislike your mother, only that her liveliness is so…

very… lively . Sometimes I have to step away for a moment to recover my balance. ”

He looked up, concerned that such candidness would offend her, but Lizzy only laughed and assured him that she often felt precisely the same.

After talking a bit about what they might expect from Mrs. Bennet over the next few weeks leading up to the wedding, Elizabeth returned to her original point.

“But you shall not divert me, sir. What prompted such gloomy distraction? I noticed it this morning at Gracechurch Street as well, but there was not enough time to ask.”

Mr. Darcy was about to brush off her inquiry as he was accustomed to doing with his sister, but stopped himself just in time.

For a moment, he felt as if he was standing at a crossroads.

Never in his life had he a confidant with whom he was comfortable sharing his innermost concerns.

Elizabeth’s rare combination of gentle teasing and stubbornness had begun to change that habit.

To date, however, his openness had only dealt with revealing his feelings for her (no small feat in itself given his natural reticence) and some details about his past life and hopes for the future.

Never something so deeply rooted as his ambiguous feelings toward George Wickham.

And yet, Will could feel it eating away at him. Richard had attempted to talk to him about the Earl’s account, but Darcy had been in more of a mind to brood than converse.

After a few minutes, he sighed slightly and looked at Elizabeth’s hand where it rested on his arm. “I’m not accustomed to sharing my worries.” They had come to a small river and stepped away from the road to stand on the bank.

He must have sounded more stern than he realized, because when Elizabeth started to remove her hand from his arm, he held it more tightly and looked down to see a hurt look in her eyes.

“And now I’ve misspoken again and hurt you, again.

Do you see why it’s sometimes better for me to remain silent?

Words come out of my mouth not at all how I mean them. ”

The melancholy in his voice caused Lizzy to stop trying to free her hand, but she still had a tight look about her eyes.

“Try,” she said quietly, plucking a leaf from an overhanging branch with her free hand and rolling the stem between her fingers before flinging it out into the water.

She continued to watch the leaf, bobbing and swirling as the current carried it down the stream, even as Darcy began to speak softly.

“It’s good to talk about things with you, and I appreciate that you make the effort to tease me back to the light whenever I fall into a blue funk. Or pry it out of me, when need be.” He tried a smile but she did not respond.