Page 31

Jane continued, “I am not clever like you, Lizzy. I suppose I am smart enough to know that, although I am not stupid by any means, I lack your cleverness… your thirst for knowledge and understanding.” She squeezed her younger sister’s hand.

“But it is your clear-mindedness and your courage that I admire most. If it had not been for you, I fear I would have succumbed to Mama’s matchmaking years ago.

But with you at my side, I have remained strong and waited for such a gentleman as would make me happy, not only my mother. ”

Elizabeth was embarrassed and kept her eyes lowered.

“Jane, you are the strong one. When Mama, or our sisters, or even Papa become too much, I leave . I walk out the door and run wild in the hills, or I find a book and lose myself in it. You remain; you put up with Mama’s fussing and Papa’s sarcasm without even flinching. ”

Jane smiled crookedly at Elizabeth, not having realized that her younger sister harbored such guilt.

“Lizzy, you mustn’t condemn your behavior.

We both have our own ways of coping. You may leave the house, but I do as well, in my own way.

I can smile as if nothing affects me because I have removed myself; it is almost as if I can wrap myself in a bubble and it all just slides off.

You are the only one with whom I feel comfortable just letting myself … be. ”

The two sisters studied each other for some minutes before Elizabeth squeezed Jane’s hand. “Have you spoken like this with Mr. Bingley?”

Jane took a sharp breath and her discomfort at such an undertaking was obvious.

Lizzy sighed and hugged her sister before leaning back and looking her in the eye. “Promise me that you will. Promise me that you will allow him to know the real Jane. And I would not be surprised to find out that Charles already knows you much better than you may think.”

She laughed at Jane’s worried look. “Mr. Bingley is a good man and I shall like having him as a brother very much, just as he has been like a brother to Fitzwilliam for many years. You can trust him, Jane; that is all I am trying to say. Your life shall be happier if you share your hopes and fears with him, all those little daily joys and worries that you and I have shared with one another. Do not put on that pleasant face of yours and pretend that everything is always perfectly well.”

Elizabeth grinned. “At the very least, let him know when something is wrong so that he may fix it. I’ve noticed that Fitzwilliam takes great pleasure in arranging things to make me happy, and I cannot believe that Mr. Bingley is so very different.

If you only show him your perennially happy face, he shall be miserable because it seems as if he has nothing to do for you! ”

Jane had blushed slightly and rolled her eyes at her younger sister’s antics, though in her heart she admitted that the words held a significant amount of truth.

“Shall Mr. Darcy be re-hemming your blue gown, then? Mama brought it back from the seamstress today and it looks as if Mrs. Bolton left it for her new assistant.”

Lizzy’s laughter bubbled over and soon Jane joined her. “He might, although I believe I would do better to delay my more bizarre demands until after we are married.”

It was not much later that the girls heard Mrs. Bennet bustling up the stairs, calling for Mrs. Hill and the maid to attend her while simultaneously checking that all her daughters were dressed for dinner.

Elizabeth rose with a sigh and a smile, but before opening the door she turned back to her sister.

“Jane, I would be very surprised if Mr. Bingley was not just as upset with himself as you are, if not more so. I know you will feel embarrassed to see him again, but you might try to let him know that you are not angry with him. My own mistaken understanding of Mr. Darcy’s silences brought a great deal of pain to us both…

I suppose that is one reason why I am so forward in trying to draw him out.

But I plan to continue as I have begun, for I do not wish there to be such misunderstandings between us again, and the only way I know to avoid them is to talk over every last thing with him. ”

When Elizabeth left, shutting the door softly behind her, Jane allowed herself to flop back onto the bed in a most unladylike manner.

Honestly, the idea of facing Mr. Bingley again was terrifying and, had her sister not said something, she might have claimed a headache and begged her mother’s leave to remain in her room.

Not that Mrs. Bennet would have allowed her to do so, thought Jane in a rare moment of cynicism.

After a moment of consideration, the eldest Miss Bennet stood and began to ready herself for the evening.

Although she felt herself prepared to face Mr. Bingley, Jane was still glad for her sister’s presence at her side when the gentlemen were shown into Longbourn’s drawing room.

Mr. Darcy’s first look was to Elizabeth, but when he turned to study Jane, she felt such a feeling of brotherly protectiveness emanating from him that she was finally able to raise her eyes to her own fiancé.

When she did, it was easy to see that Charles was just as miserable as she felt.

Into this strained situation bustled Mrs. Bennet with all her oblivious eagerness to oblige her guests. “Jane, Lizzy—don’t just stand there! Welcome the gentlemen, girls!”

Although her mother prattled on, Jane was aware only of Charles. He had finally managed to meet her eyes and she could see plainly that he feared she would not want him near her. Taking a breath, Miss Bennet managed a welcoming smile and held her hand out to him.

In an instant, Bingley was cradling it in his own, bowing deeply and kissing the back of her hand with barely a feather touch.

When he looked up, she could see that the worry was still present but had been partially replaced by wonder.

“Welcome back to Longbourn, Mr. Bingley.” She loved that his expression was so open that she could identify both his relief and his adoration written clearly across his face.

“Thank you, Miss Bennet,” he breathed.

Noting that the others were distracted, Jane spoke softly, for his ears alone. “We need to talk; not now of course, but perhaps tomorrow, if we might find a moment of privacy.”

Panic flooded Bingley’s face. “Anything you wish. I must apologize, profusely. I promise, I will never… I beg you…”

When his voice cracked, Jane suddenly realized that the poor man believed she was planning to break their engagement. She rushed to relieve him. “If you feel you must apologize, then so must I, for surely our behavior was just as much my fault as your own.”

Charles stared into her eyes as if trying to read a sign that was slightly too far off to see clearly.

Jane smiled and did her best to let him see all the love and affection that was in her heart. “For now, though, let us simply enjoy an evening with your future family. My mother is very eager to discuss her plans for the wedding while you and Mr. Darcy are with us. ”

For a moment, Bingley remained absolutely still, as if he could not quite believe what she had said. It did not last more than a second, however, and his usual ebullience burst through like a particularly brilliant sunrise. “I can not think of anything I would rather do!”

Although they did not speak much, the couple did not part for the remainder of the evening except for a few short minutes when the gentlemen retreated to Mr. Bennet’s study for port.

Even then, Jane’s father was equal parts vexed and amused at the young man’s eagerness to return to his daughter’s side.

As a result, Mr. Bennet was slightly distracted when Darcy attempted to speak of his concerns over the regiment’s return to Meryton. If the younger man was disturbed by his host’s inattention, he did his best to hide it.

When the gentlemen returned to the ladies in the drawing room, Darcy watched Bingley go to Jane’s side immediately. He had only just assured himself that the lady was pleased with his friend’s company when his own fiancée appeared beside him with a cup of tea.

Smiling, Fitzwilliam accepted her offering. Taking an appreciative sip, he said softly, “Just as I like it; I thank you.”

Elizabeth’s eyes sparkled. “I would be a poor fiancée indeed if I did not know how you like your drink prepared.” The couple shared a warm look before a loud exclamation from her mother drew their attention to the other side of the room.

Mrs. Bennet had discovered her future son-in-law’s plan to open up the Bingley townhouse. “Oh, how wonderful! Just think, Jane, a house in London! I am sure it is in a very exclusive neighborhood. Oh, how rich you shall be!”

“Mama…” Jane attempted to distract her mother, but Mrs. Bennet was much too excited.

“Oh, but I must be there! Jane can’t possibly make decisions about redecorating a house without her mother!

“Mama, Aunt Madeleine and Lizzy can accompany me.”

“Oh don’t be silly, Jane! Mrs. Gardiner can’t possibly know all the right warehouses…”

Miss Bennet was enormously relieved when Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy moved to stand between herself and her mother.

“Lizzy, have you heard the news? Jane shall be redecorating Mr. Bingley’s townhouse! Oh, what fun we shall have in London!”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and tried to think of something that would distract her mother. Fortunately, her father’s attention had been attracted even as Mrs. Bennet turned to her second daughter’s fiancé.

“And Mr. Darcy! Shall we see your house as well, sir? I’m sorry to have missed visiting your estate, but Derbyshire is so very far away…

I’m sure you will want to spend most of your time in London after you and Lizzy are ma rried.

Why, you should hold a ball and invite all of your sisters!

Just think of it, my own daughters, the belles of London Society! Such fun we shall have!”