Page 40 of A Tale of Mirth & Magic
B ARRA
O h! Your sister! Um, hi. It’s so nice to meet you!” El hesitated, then threw herself at the other woman, wrapping her shorter body in a hug. “I’m Elikki.”
“I know.” Telen chuckled, returning the hug gently.
Releasing her, El turned back to me. “But why would they be concerned? Something you wrote in that letter? Was it… were they worried about me stealing you away or something?”
“ No , no. Telen had already set off before that letter even arrived. When I didn’t return from Povon.” I scratched the back of my head, feeling the weight of everyone’s eyes on me. “You see, I wasn’t exactly on my way to Old Orchard like you.”
Her brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”
Telen watched the two of us, looking suspiciously like she was enjoying my discomfort. I cleared my throat.
“I was only meant to be in Povon on business for a day or two and then return home. But then everything happened with that worm”—I threw a look back to Felsith, now trussed up on the road with Maerryl sitting placidly on top of him—“and we had to run out of town, and then we had that, um, morning together”—I could feel my cheeks flush at the memory—“and I just found myself lying about my travel plans so… so I wouldn’t have to say goodbye yet. ”
“But why not just tell me?”
“Maybe I should have. But you didn’t know me then, not really. You were a woman traveling alone, and I was a huge man who suddenly wanted to drop my plans and follow you into the woods for days… wouldn’t that have seemed creepy?”
Elikki crossed her arms, eyes twinkling. “Ahh. Yeah. I guess so.”
I rushed to explain, trying to stay calm.
“I kept telling myself I would leave soon. That I should turn back and let you continue on alone. But then Maerryl attacked you—still a bit confused about why she’s here and helping us now, to be honest—and you were weak from the fight.
One thing just kept leading to another. And then when you finally told me that you wanted me to stay—there was no way I could have left your side after that. Not while you wanted me.”
“Well,” Elikki said, cocking an eyebrow, “I can’t honestly say that’s even in the top five oddest things a person’s done to try and get into my skirts over the years.”
“Wait, you aren’t weirded out by that at all ?” Maerryl said.
El shrugged. “Not really. I’d probably have done the same thing. It’s actually kind of romantic. I hadn’t wanted to part yet back then either.” She reached up and kissed me again, quick and sweet.
My chest was full of air. She didn’t hate me for lying. The relief was so intense that I was a bit lightheaded, dizzy with her kiss and her understanding.
“Two weirdos made for each other,” I heard Telen mutter to herself, mystified.
Suddenly, El’s pointed ears twitched, and she looked west down the road, in the opposite direction we had traveled from. “I hear hoofbeats. Someone’s coming,” she said. “Or a few someones, by the sound of it. We should try to move the carriage over a bit.”
“Well, what’re we going to do with this lump?” Maerryl stood and nudged Felsith with her toe. “Had to drug him a teensy bit so he’d calm down. We could knock him out more, dump him in the carriage, and let him sleep it off while we get away? He can drive himself home once he comes to.”
Telen came closer, inspecting his prone body with a frown. “That won’t do. He’s seen all of us anyway, and he knows me. I may have, uh, bribed him not to press charges against Bar or put a bounty on him…”
“I can’t believe you gave that asshole your hard-earned coin. I’ll pay you back, sis,” I said.
“I know, I know. But we weren’t sure what was happening!
It seemed like you were in danger. And we have the money.
It’s my job to protect you, so just shut it.
” Stubbornly, she threw a hand up in my face and continued, “I’ll take Felsith back.
I’m passing through anyway, on my way home.
I’ll explain the situation to the lord and act as witness to this worm’s crimes.
The Draos family is well-respected—they should listen to me.
And, if not, I’ll send for our mas to back me up. ”
“But you weren’t here for the attack,” Maerryl pointed out. She began to haul Felsith by his bound feet to the carriage door. Telen came over to help, covering up the spots in the road where his foot had bled with a few kicks of dirt.
“Those nitwits in Povon don’t know that. And if Felsith tries to dispute it, I’ll just say I was hiding, looking for a moment to intervene on his deranged attack,” Telen said with a flinty smile. Maerryl smiled tentatively back at her, which was a strange but cute sight.
I could hear the approaching horses now. Three mounted figures came around the bend. Spotting us, they shot down the road and halted suddenly. One, a woman in a guard’s leathers, swung down and walked closer, inspecting Felsith as he drooled into the dirt.
“We got ’im, sir!” she called. “Seems fine, just a bit out of it. Did you knock ’im out?” she asked, looking around our group.
“In self-defense, yes,” Telen said stiffly, stepping forward with her chin raised an inch.
“This man attacked us with violent intent. He also kidnapped our companion, drugged her, and attempted to maim and rob her. We were forced to make a citizen’s arrest, on behalf of the High Queen of Kurriel, and we are transporting him to his town’s authorities now. Who, may I ask, are you?”
From atop his horse, a tired-looking middle-aged man sighed and said, “Oh, Felly, what have you done now?”
El and I blinked at each other. Felly? she mouthed, nearly making me burst out laughing in the awkward silence.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, the man said, “I apologize. It’s been a long and—erm, stressful—journey.
I should introduce myself. I’m Lord Renalo of Povon, and this”—he gestured to Felsith—“is my younger brother. I expect we arrived a bit too late to the party, so to speak. It took us some time to track him down, the wily little fellow.”
“You can say that again,” Elikki grumbled, rubbing her still-sore wrists. I glared at the pompous man—still shorter than me, even on horseback—and began brushing soothing circles on El’s back with my palm.
She leaned into my touch a bit, letting me hold some of her weight against my body. I fumed internally at Felsith, and these newcomers, but didn’t let my anger seep into my touch. She needed rest—a warm bath, a pot of tea, and a soft bed to sleep off the pain and awfulness of this morning.
The lord let out another, deeper sigh. “You must be Mistress Elikki, the jeweler. My brother has been on quite the tear about you lately. I apologize for his actions here.” He inclined his head to her. “That being said, you did severely injure him as well, when you were visiting my town.”
“Allegedly,” she said flatly. “And if you had investigated the matter before putting a call out for my arrest—and allowing him to put a bounty on my head—you would have discovered that he laid his hands on me first.”
“I actually didn’t call for your arrest. Or encourage the bounty.
I called for you to be brought in for questioning, as is proper procedure under Kurrielan law.
But you and your—uh, companion’s—actions complicated things somewhat.
I’ll admit, however, that the situation got rapidly out of hand on my watch.
” The lord sighed yet again and slumped in his saddle.
“You didn’t? Oh, well… right. You still could have handled things better,” she said, looking like she was struggling to maintain her wrath in the face of this absolute soggy roll of a man.
He nodded. “Yes. I know what my brother is like, and I should have intervened sooner. Unfortunately for all of us, he’s surprised even me with his atrocious behavior this time. You know he stole my carriage and horses here too? Do you have anything to say for yourself, Felly?” he called down.
Maerryl prodded Felsith with her boot, and his eyes slit open. “I’m just a baby worm… don’t know whosits from whatsits… just sleep in my worm hommmme…” he moaned woozily before zonking out again.
“Right you are, Felly.” Another heavy sigh, and Lord Renalo motioned to his guards.
“Please put him in the carriage and secure the door. One of you drive that back and we’ll put your horse on a lead.
” The two guards came forward to collect Felsith and tossed him on the floor of the carriage with barely concealed looks of disgust.
“We’ll be off, then. I want to make good time back to town before we camp,” the lord said with a sniff.
“This matter is settled. My brother will be punished, that I promise. He won’t be bothering you again.
Between you and me, it’s high time he was also placed into mandatory therapy and anger management, which I will also arrange. ”
Privately, I didn’t think it would do much good for that rotting slimeball. But I suppose you never know. Elikki said, “Um, good luck with that. And what about us?”
“You are both free to go, of course. Legally, as the lord of my township, I cannot give you financial recompenses for your, um, troubles. But I can say that if you were ever to visit my fair town again in the future, I will welcome you into my home and treat you as my family’s most honored guest. Any of you.
” He bowed at the waist to our ragtag group.
Like any of us would be caught dead spending a second more with that disaster of a family. El exchanged a look with me that said she was thinking the same, but she told the lord, “Thanks, I guess. Good luck rehabilitating that one.”
“Thank you, Mistress Elikki.” A final long-suffering sigh, and he turned his horse around and trotted away, guards and carriage following.
We watched them disappear quickly down the road and around the bend. A last spark of fury burned inside me as that odious man was carried away, along with any hope of getting revenge for the way he’d treated Elikki. I tried to let it fizzle out. She was safe. That’s what mattered.
“Wish I could have gotten one good slap on that toad’s face, don’t you?” I asked. Her gaze was still trained on the now-empty road.
“ Yeah . Something like that,” she said, smiling wickedly.
“You’re imagining slicing him up with sharp metal pointy things again, aren’t you?”
“Maybe…” she sighed, sounding eerily like Lord Renalo. “I can’t believe he did all this bullshit , and he just gets carted back home by his fancy-pants big brother. Fuck, I wish I knew how to cast curses on people.”
Maerryl pulled something from her boot with a flourish. “Does it help that I stole his coin purse?”
“HA! A bit, yes,” El said. The other woman handed the heavy pouch over, and she rifled through it.
“And the ‘teensy’ drugging I gave him… maybe wasn’t so teensy after all,” Maerryl added.
“Oooh, what did you do?”
“Let’s just say old Felly won’t exactly be himself for a few days… or weeks,” she said, looking extremely pleased with herself.
“You sly dog!” Elikki grinned.
Face sobering, Maerryl continued, “I’m glad you’re all right. I didn’t mean for everything to… to escalate like that. Met him at the Painted Dragon the other night, and when I told him about our encounter, he offered me a lot of coin to be his muscle on this, um, mission.”
Maerryl shifted from foot to foot, quickly looking around at all of us before dropping her gaze.
She almost looked as if she thought we’d take our revenge on her now that Felsith had been snatched away.
Despite myself, despite everything she’d done, I found that was the last thing I wanted.
A glance at El and my sister told me they felt the same.
Shoulders tight, Maerryl mumbled, “I didn’t know what he was planning. I swear.”
“I know,” El said. She dropped Felsith’s coin purse into Maerryl’s hands. “Keep this. And don’t argue. I know exactly how much coin you have on you, and it’s certainly not enough to keep you out of mischief for long. Besides, you did kind of save me. Even if you took your sweet time about it.”
Maerryl scowled but seemed relieved, gripping the purse tightly before tucking it back into her worn boot.
Then El moved in, trapping the other woman in a tight, quick hug before releasing her with an affectionate pinch on the arm.
Taken aback, Maerryl let it happen. A small smile fought its way out of her typical stormy expression.
I watched this whole exchange, baffled. I really had to get the full story of what happened from El at some point.