Page 4 of A Tale of Mirth & Magic

B ARRA

D id that just happen? I glanced around me, but no one in the half-empty tavern seemed to notice anything amiss. Staring blankly into nothing, I tried to process the last few minutes.

I had walked up to the bar—yes.

Got my drink without drawing attention to myself—yes.

Was ambushed by the gorgeous, snappish elf from the market—yes.

Managed to not stare at her or make her uncomfortable—maybe?

Averted my eyes from her perfect face, delicate pointy ears, and lush curves—mostly?

Politely declined an invitation into her bed—wait.

No. No no no noooo.

Had I said anything back? My mind froze over when she’d leaned toward me, smelling of sugar and cinnamon.

She’d been hard to look away from even in the market, as I watched her chat so merrily with everyone who browsed the booth’s wares, smile bright as the jewelry spread out in front of her.

Even when she’d turned to me, cross and still fuming after her fight with that sleazy customer, I was only drawn in more.

She was so alive —fierce and vivaciously herself.

I’d just barely managed to turn and walk away then.

Finding her here, in the same tavern I frequented whenever visiting Povon on business, was a bit of a shock. I knew myself well enough to realize I should keep my distance from anyone that captivating. But then she invited me to her room…

There had been a moment, a split second, when I wanted to say yes. To hold her small hand and let her lead me upstairs. Follow her mischievous smile wherever it might take me.

But what then? Everyone in the tavern would watch us, knowing what we were doing.

They’d whisper. Judging, maybe snickering.

I began to sweat just picturing it. And what about when we got to the room?

Standard tavern beds couldn’t hold my large frame anyway.

Would I even be able to please her? It had been so long…

It was better like this. She must have read something in my face—or my stupid awkward silence while my mind was racing through how things would play out—because she left quickly. She probably instantly regretted the offer anyway.

Or, oh goddess… what if it had just been one of her jokey flirtations?

I’d watched her at the market for a long time this morning.

Probably too long. The way she put everyone at ease with her smiles, her big kind laugh drawing people in, flattering and being flattered in return—it was like watching flowers perk up at the sun.

She probably meant the invitation in jest, and I took her seriously like an idiot.

I must be one of the most oblivious men in the entire realm of Kurriel.

But—there had been a moment when she was looking at me. Her gray eyes gazed into mine, and she seemed so sincere. Her focus entirely on me in a way I hadn’t felt from another person in months. Years.

Enough. I mentally shook myself and took a long draught of water from my tankard. A small smile came to my lips at the memory of her trying to lift it. The drop of liquid left on her upper lip and the way she licked it away.

The tavern door slammed open, and two cross-looking fellows entered in a bluster.

First, a town constable, wooden club hanging at his waist and a shiny badge with the queendom’s insignia proudly pinned to his chest. Just behind him, I spotted that pig human from the marketplace.

He wore an ugly glare, and his wrist was wrapped up with a makeshift sling.

They made their way to the bar. The tavern was starting to fill with folks dropping in for a pint or a meal after the day’s work, and the constable banged his fist to get the barkeep’s attention.

“We’re looking for a woman,” he blared. “An elf woman. Tall, reddish-brown hair, white, and… plump,” he ended lamely.

“Aren’t we all, mate,” the half-orc barkeep replied with a chuckle. The customers around them guffawed, clinking their glasses.

“ Very plump,” the injured man sneered. “She’s a dangerous criminal. Attacked me right in the square, she did. Almost swindled gold out of me and then broke my wrist with her evil magic when I tried to get away.”

The constable put a calming hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll find the elf, Felsith. Let me handle this.

” Turning back to the barkeep, he said, “Now, then. Have you seen this woman who accosted my cousin? She’s a metal mage jeweler called Elikki.

We were told she’s a drifter who’s been staying here recently.

She’s required to come in for questioning and subsequent sentencing immediately. ”

I tensed. The barkeep, who had been following this exchange as they wiped the damp counter, filled glasses, and collected coins, replied, “Haven’t seen a lady like that, I’m afraid. We’ve only got two guests staying right now—an old gent and a pleasant little gnome. You’ve been misinformed.”

They turned away, pouring a mug of mulled wine for a customer down the bar. The constable looked miffed. Felsith, who had entered with an irritated pink flush on his face, was now turning an alarming shade of red. “I know she is here !”

Suddenly spotting me down at the other end of the bar, he pointed wildly. “You! You were there today! Do you know the elf? Where is she?!”

Too many eyes were on me. They waited. Felsith tapped his fingers, staring me down. I swallowed.

“Don’t know her. I was just passing by.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well”—I took a slow drink—“that’s how it is.” I returned his stare. In my deepest, mildest voice, I said, “Think I saw her still near the square, though, at a pub a few blocks back.”

“Probably at the Eagle,” the barkeep added, shrugging.

I nodded. “The Eagle, that’s the one.”

Felsith looked back and forth between us skeptically. He opened his mouth to yell again, but the constable tugged his arm and began to maneuver him toward the door. He muttered, “Come on now, let’s at least check it out. Don’t want to start something around these types of people.”

The atmosphere in the area tensed further. Folks’ attention in the room sharpened, staring daggers at the pair of them. Some hands strayed to their real daggers. The constable continued to nudge his cousin toward the exit as Felsith hurled insults over his shoulder.

Just then, I caught a flash of a familiar red corset coming down the stairs and into the fray of the main tavern room, also angling toward the exit. Elikki. Carrying a large pack on her back, she wore a long hooded cloak and a determined expression.

I saw the moment she noticed Felsith and the constable—her body halting, eyes searching for another exit.

And I saw Felsith spot her. Screaming his head off, he started to surge toward Elikki through the crowd.

Oh, fuck.

Her gray eyes met mine for a moment, wide in their alarm.

Then she moved, darting toward escape with an elven grace, and shoving people out of the way when necessary.

At the same time, I did the only thing I could think of.

I grabbed Felsith’s wrist, pulling him back, and dumped the contents of my massive, nearly full tankard over his head. I roared at Elikki, “RUN!”

He sputtered, shrieking. “What the fuck, is this LEMON WATER ?! It’s in my eyes, it burns!” And a second later, “Owwww, my WRIST ! You broke my other wrist, you oaf!”

I saw Elikki make it to the doorway and run through. Breathing easier, I turned back to Felsith. He seemed to be trying to attack me by kicking my shins with his puny boots.

I stepped away from him toward the door, folks making room for my seven-foot-eight-inch frame. They parted around me and closed back in on Felsith and the constable, holding them off. I rushed outside, peering around for Elikki in the rapidly fading daylight.

Spotting her a couple blocks away—wow, she was fast—I raced after her.

E LIKKI

Hearing heavy footsteps behind me, I put on another burst of speed. Well, this did not go exactly according to plan. I cannot believe that worm sicced the law on me!

Earlier in my room, I’d paced the worn wooden floorboards, going over that brainless interaction with the unfairly hot man downstairs.

The single candle in my tiny quarters flickered with the breeze my skirts kicked up as I moved around the room packing all my stuff into the large, trusty rucksack that held most of my worldly possessions.

It was an annoyingly long process, since my things seemed to scatter of their own accord.

But it gave me time to have a conversation with the imaginary, brown-cloaked man in my head.

After that was done, and I’d groaned and screamed into a pillow for a good while, I felt much better. Still couldn’t quite shake that queasy feeling of rejection. I had nothing to be embarrassed about, obviously—I’d gone after what I wanted, and I refused to feel shame for that.

But it still… stung. A bit.

It’s been years since someone I wanted didn’t jump at the chance to be with me.

Or around me. Or nearby, just on hand in case I needed a drink refill.

I was charming as fuck, and everyone I encountered knew it.

Still, I couldn’t stay at this tavern anymore.

Knowing it was probably his local spot, and having to run into him again and again while I was in town—not an option.

So I decided to pack up my things and head to a different place for the night.

Now I was being chased out of town!

I snuck a glance over my shoulder to see who was still on my tail. Slowing to a stop, I turned and stared in disbelief. “Are you kidding me right now? Why in the goddess’s name are you following me? I thought the constables were coming!”

The half-giant didn’t stop, passing me. “They are. Keep running!”

“What?” From the direction we’d come, I heard voices. More than two. It seemed the copper had found some of his colleagues. I gulped and hightailed it after the half-giant.

“Where are we going?” I hissed.

“Just follow me! I have a plan.”

We took a sharp right, racing along the quiet streets.

Keeping to the shadows, we soon came near the town’s main gate.

He veered toward a stable nearby while I waited, hiding behind a stack of hay bales and straining my elven hearing to pinpoint where our pursuers were.

We had one, maybe two minutes before they’d catch up.

He trotted out from the stable leading the largest animal I had ever seen in my life. A horse? My mind struggled to understand what I was seeing. This creature was a full two times the size of any horse I’d known.

He gestured at me hurriedly. “Get on.”

“Get… on? Get on that ?” I gawped. “This is the plan?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

In the quiet of the early evening, we heard shouts and running steps drawing closer.

He tightened the saddle, large hands moving rapidly over the buckles and leather straps.

As he worked he growled, “Your choice. You can stay and face the angry mob of constables. You can try to outrun them by yourself. Or you can get on the damn horse.”

I was already heaving from the long chase, my pack weighing me down. I couldn’t leave it behind. It had everything I owned—my jewelry, tools, coin purse, clothing—everything.

With one last look back—torches were coming around the corner—I approached the terrifying beast and tried scrabbling for purchase to pull myself up. The stirrups were at my chest.

He sighed. After lifting my pack off my shoulders and hooking it next to a saddlebag, he then lifted me up.

Before I knew what was happening, he swung my right leg over the horse’s back and placed me in front of the saddle.

I squeaked, half in indignation at being abruptly lifted and half in shock.

He just picked me up like I weighed no more than my pack. That was… a first.

Then he stepped into the stirrup and swung himself up behind me with ease. Reaching around me to grab the reins, he said, “Hold on.”

“ To what?! ”

Our pursuers were a dozen feet away now. The coppers ordered us to halt, shaking their fiery torches. Felsith’s twisted face screamed, “I’ll TRACK YOU DOWN, you wretched elf!”

I blew him a kiss with an impish grin. The half-giant kicked, his horse lunged forward through the open gate, and I was pressed back into strong arms.

We were off.