Page 34 of A Sublime Casualt
“My God.” Theo shakes his head, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper. “Okay.” He takes a sharp breath while casting a quick glance out the window. “Is there anything else?” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Anything at all you think I should know? That’s all you’re hiding?” The hurt in his eyes as he said that last word is palpable.
“There’s one more thing.” I reach down and pull out my phone. “I got this message while we were at the Rock House. I don’t know who sent it. I looked through the contact list on your phone while you were in the shower the next day and nothing matched.”
He takes a moment to scowl before pulling the phone over and reading the bizarre poem.
“Peavey and Devyn were with me when I got it. They pointed out the fact it was an acrostic.”
He scans the length of it. “Can you find me.” He looks just as puzzled as I was. “How do I know you’re not screwing with me? How do I know this isn’t some new diversion? Most importantly, how do I know that you don’t have anything to do with the fact my sister is missing?”
My hand claps over my mouth in anguish. “I don’t.” I struggle to keep from wailing. The pain of not having Theo’s trust is far too agonizing to take in at once. “I swear to you, I had nothing to do with it. In fact, once we met, I felt horrible about using her identity. It was then that I decided to do anything I could to help find her. Trust me when I say this. I know how a criminal thinks. My mind has gone places it should never have wandered. I wanted to help you because you were kind to me. And then I grew to love you.”
A dull laugh pumps through him as he leans in, his eyes ever steadfast over mine. “If you ever loved me, how did you think we were going to get through this? Lie after lie? Did you really think you’d never get caught? Don’t answer that.”
“I can’t answer that. And that’s the truth. But someone is onto us. After me. I don’t know.” I glance down at the phone. “The longer I studied the words, I felt as if there was a riddle buried in there. I think they’re telling me where they have Lizzy.”
His eyes flash at the thought.
“Theo”—I land my hand over his—“what are you going to do to me?” My breathing is ragged. My life flashes before my eyes in chaotic jags, sharp and dangerous as broken glass.
“That depends.” His dimples dig in deep, no smile. “Are you planning on taking off first chance you get?”
“Maybe.” I shrug in lieu of an apology. “I don’t know how else to protect myself, Theo. I don’t want to go to prison.”
His eyes close briefly, and it’s as if the light in the world dims with them. “I don’t want that either.” He gives an audible gulp as he fights through his emotions. “Were you just using me?”
“No, I swear.” It comes out in a horrible moan. “I have never loved another human being the way I love you, Theo.” I cup his cheeks with my hands a moment. “I’m so sorry I sucked you into my nightmare. You didn’t deserve that. You didn’t deserve anything I’ve done to you.”
He shakes his head just enough. “You can’t go back to Gabby’s.”
Tears spurt from me as I nod in agreement. It’s all over. I know that.
He pulls my hands forward, his eyes soft once again, still locked in their pain. “You’re coming with me. We’ll figure this out together, Ch—Phoebe.” He ticks his head to the side as if he could never get used to it. “If someone is after you”—he glances to my phone—“then I’m going to keep you safe. I still love you,” he says it lower than a whisper, like some dark secret he’s ashamed to admit and I can’t blame him. “And I’ll be damned if I’m losing you.”
My arms launch over his back, and I lose it. I weep a river over him until our mouths find one another. Theo’s kisses taste of heartbreak, of mourning, of the deepest level of oven-hot grief. A deep groan rips from his throat as his fingers dig into my hair, my back. Theo pours out all of his passion as we toss up the white flag of surrender, struggling to find our way back to some shadow of where we used to be. Everything has changed, and nothing has changed. We had moved away and yet never left that sacred space in one another’s hearts. At least that’s what I choose to believe. That’s what his kisses tell me. But one thing is for certain. Things are going to get a hell of a lot harder before they ever get easier.
Someone is trying to tell me something.
Someone is daring me to find Lizzy.
And I accept the challenge.
* * *
Theo tookme back to his place, and we both lay in bed staring at the ceiling for hours. Jackson never came home. It turns out, he’s busy comforting Gabby who is reeling from the turn of events. I’m not really sure what I’m still doing here. Scratch that. I know exactly what’s stopping me from running. I love Theo—deeply. It would be easier to tear a limb from my body than never see him again. And secondly, I want to get the bastard who sent me that message.
“It might have been Miles,” I say. The sound of my voice rings through the room, lonely and intrusive.
Theo lays his arm over my waist. “I don’t know. Maybe. He’s in a coma right now. I beat him up, but I would swear on my life it wasn’t enough to do that kind of damage.”
“Oh God.” I lean up on my elbow. “I pray he gets better. We don’t need that on top of everything else.” I run my finger over his lips, and he catches me and kisses it.
“We.” He sheds a painful grin. “He’ll get better. He has to. So who else?”
“Ashley.” I shrug. “She hates me with a vengeance. I saw that demented look in her eyes. She isn’t finished with me by a long shot. Not to mention, she had those strange dealings with your sister.”
“That she did.” He leans up and pulls me in. “But she seemed genuinely surprised about you and me. And that message was sent prior to that. It’s got to be someone else. Someone you know.”
“I don’t know anybody, and I certainly haven’t given anyone my number but you and Gabby. Gabby?” I shake my head. “She’s too sweet and innocent. No offense, but she’s not wired this way. It takes a certain level of evil and genius to pull off this move.” A breath hitches in my throat. “How about Neil? Neil had figured me out, and that puts Neil square on my shit list.”