Page 19 of A Sublime Casualt
“So, this is Theo’s childhood home, huh?” I’m not sure how to steer the conversation back to Lizzy. I still have tomorrow to work on her, though. Tonight is just a good warm-up. “How long did he linger at home before you had to give him the boot?”
She belts out a deep belly laugh. “He flew the coop too early for my taste. They all did. And then two of them migrated back! Imagine that. In they came one by one.”
“Really?” I might get something yet. “Was Theo in that number?” No. I know he wasn’t. He moved out to Wakefield with Jackson to grow a pair. Those were his words.
“No, not my baby boy. He’s his own man. It was the girls. Girls always want more from their mothers.” Her cheek tugs to the side like she might cry. “First, it was Charlize.” My insides grind when she says her formal name. It’s too close to Charlie. It makes me feel as though I need to stomp out a kitchen fire, and as much as I want to deflect this conversation, I must see where it’s headed. “Lizzy went straight back to her bedroom after she and Thomas—” She places her forefingers together, then pulls them apart abruptly. It’s as if she can’t even say it. I bet she sees divorce as sacrilegious. It should be, but since most people don’t venerate religion, it’s impossible to enforce. It’s legal dating is all it is these days.
“She must have taken it very hard. It’s nice that she saw you as her safe place.”
She rolls her eyes. “Lizzy never took a damn thing hard. She was hard. She ran out of money. She had habits. Disgusting habits. If you want to slip into hell, you follow a disgusting habit and see how far it will take you. She liked clothes, too. Expensive handbags and shoes. In Idaho. Can you believe it? Where are you going to wear an entire collection of Jimmy Choos? I said to her onceplease don’t waste your money on that crap. Focus on living a good quality life.You know?”
I nod. But I don’t really know. I’ve thrown away my own life, and I’m busy living her daughter’s.
“Did she eventually pick herself up? You know, get a job and put her life back together?”
“Lizzy hated traditional work. Nobody will admit this, but I know firsthand she was fired from Thomas’ office. She wouldn’t tell me why.” She shakes her head.
“How about Ashley?” My face burns with heat as if I just spoke a dead woman’s name and soon she would be there to haunt us. “I mean, Theo says they were best friends. Wouldn’t she know?”
“Not then. By then they couldn’t stand one another. Something got in their way, and neither of them was talking. Nikki thought it might have been Thomas himself, but that’s ridiculous. Nobody loved my daughter the way he loved her. He calls me every week, and we cry over the phone together. He’s a winner. My daughter threw him away for a whack job with a beard to his knees.” Her gaze drifts out the black window, a glass pan froze midair in her hands. “Lizzy needed to sow her wild oats. She married too young. She was too alive. Too childish in all her ways. She drew trouble to herself like a magnet. She perverted herself.” Her voice drops a notch. So she does know. “A part of me realizes this is a direct result. I failed her as a mother.” A fat tear wobbles down her cheek, unsteady. “I gave her whatever she wanted, and then she expected the world to do the same. Don’t ever spoil your children. Maybe pull a switch from a tree in the back and scare them with it once in a while. It might save you a world of heartache.” She shrugs. “You might know where they are on Thanksgiving.”
A shadow darkens the doorway, and we find Theo with his arms spread like wings. “Goodnight, Mom.” He comes over and kisses her on the cheek before taking the dish from me and putting it away. “You ready?”
“I guess I am.” My cheeks burn like flames. Calla says goodnight to us and turns out the kitchen lights as if there was no going back for me.
“Where are you sleeping?” I whisper as he leads us upstairs.
He leans in and brushes his mouth over the hair by my temple. “In my old bedroom, with you.”
* * *
There have beentimes in my life where my own adrenaline has overpowered me. The hard pounding of my pulse beating straight through my ears, the feeling that I was about to expel from my skin. All of those emotions flit through me like a spinning top on fire. I try to calm myself as Theo shows off his room—decent size, no posters on the wall. Instead, there’s a painting of the beach, most likely hung by his mother. A sturdy oak bedroom set is the focal point. A bookshelf filled with dusty paperbacks catches my eye, and under different circumstances I’d browse each and every one. You can learn a lot about a person just by the books they choose to spend time with. A queen-sized bed sits prominent in the middle of the room with a navy quilt smoothed over the top.
“I’ll take the floor.” Theo moves my bag onto the bed for me.
“Please.” I can’t help but roll my eyes. “We’re not sixteen.” I bear hard into those cerulean eyes, and my heart races faster as if maybe I am. “We’ll share the bed. I’ll even let you pick which side. See? I’m easy.” I bite down on a smile because I’m flirting shamelessly, and I know it. It seems natural with Theo, far too easy to do, and it’s a wonder he’s not taken by now. I guess for tonight he’s mine. A part of me wishes we could extend that timeline, indefinitely maybe.
“Are you really okay with it?” His brows create a hedge over his eyes.Neat trick, I want to tell him.
“Yes. In fact, I’m not that tired. We can have fun with it. You know, getting to know one another a bit.” His lips curl, and I’m quick to swat him. “I meant verbally. Get your head out of the gutter.” That’s what an innocent girl would say, and since I’m method acting my way through life, it seems appropriate. The truth is, I know the gutter. I came from a place so much darker and scarier than that.
“Sounds good.” He hikes his arms in the air as if surrendering. “And I promise to keep my hands to myself.” He nods to the door to his left. “Bathroom’s right there. It’s a Jack and Jill, but it’s all ours. It leads to Lizzy’s room, and my mother keeps it as a guest-free zone. She’d rather have people sleeping on the stove than on that bed.”
“Totally understandable.”
He hitches his forehead toward the bed. “That’s Nikki’s room. I’ve spent a lifetime socked in. They battled it out for that bathroom every morning, and I was my mother’s solution.”
My thumb brushes over the stubble on his cheek. “You’re a great solution to any problem.” A sickening rise of giddiness hits me as I head toward the bathroom. “I’ll be right out.” I look back at him a moment. “I’ll be as quick as I can for a girl!” I sing cheerily enough, and he laughs. It’s terrible that I’m using the memory of Lizzy’s vanity as a means to buy myself some time, but if she’s alive she’d appreciate it. And if she’s dead, she won’t care in the least.
“Take your time. I grew up with sisters.” He flicks off his shoes as I seal myself in and lock the door. My heart thumps wild as I eye the other door. A portal into the mind of a sexed-up maniac? Maybe. If there are any secrets in that bedroom, they would be hidden. No doubt her mother, Nikki, and maybe Detective Do-Nothing Neil have already scoured it. A thought comes to me, jarring me out of the moment. Theo told me at dinner the other night that Neil said the DMs to Miles never happened. How could that be true? I saw them myself. If Neil is that farsighted, maybe he’s glossed over a few mega clues in her bedroom as well.
I bolt over, lithe as a deer, and open the door a few inches. It’s dark, save for the moonlight streaming in washing the room with a pale blue glow. The light from the bathroom floods it, instantly killing any night magic the moon afforded it. I take a step inside and note it holds the faint scent of lavender. I’m sure the family appreciates that scent. And as odd as it seems, I would swear on my life that I feel her here, really feel her presence. There’s a frilly see-through curtain hanging like a useless ghost against the window, a plain white comforter over a rattan bedframe, queen-sized like Theo’s. Their mother must have upgraded them all from a twin at the very same time. Calla seems practical that way.
I head to the door leading to the hall, and lucky enough there’s a lock on it, and as fate would have it, it is indeed locked from the inside. Calla must have secured it in the event someone from the tribe meandered this way. A seam of light pours in from underneath it and creates a dim glow. I head over to the simple desk in the corner and spot frames dotting the top of the hutch. It’s too murky to make out the faces. There’s a stack of books to the right, can’t make out those either, but they look like devotionals, a Bible maybe—odd considering the way she funded her handbag frenzy. A few cables sit naked near the rear of the desk, exposed and lonely. Her computer is missing. I wonder where it went? Neil must have it. Or maybe it was a laptop and Calla took it for herself? I pull the desk drawer open and peer inside. Several pens glint in the moonlight, nothing else that seems worth noting. I pick a handful up and hold them toward the bathroom. A few gel pens, one Sharpie, and a thin pen in a dark metal sleeve. I roll it between my fingers, and a string of silver fonts catch the light.St. Regency Dunbar.
My breath hitches at the sight. St. Regency? Miles had a memo on his phone that instructed him to deliver there. Could this pen be from that one incident? Unless, of course, there were many. I slip the pens back where I found them before heading to the closet. A hard squeak emanates as I open the mirrored slider, and I stop dead in my tracks. I won’t be able to close it, and it’s too dark to see in there anyway, so I head back to the bathroom and lock myself inside. I brush my teeth, shake out my hair, and put on the T-shirt I sleep in. And no matter how much I dig around in that bag that Gabby lent me, I can’t find my sweats. She must have taken them out. She thinks she’s funny. Gabby can be truly evil. I bet she’s torturing Jackson with tantric sex as we speak.
The room is dim by the time I reopen the door. Theo already has the quilt up to his belly, and I can’t help but giggle at the sight.