Page 1 of A Sublime Casualt
Ten Months Earlier
They say if you’re going to hide you should do it in plain sight. Sort of like those childish books my brother and sister were obsessed with, theGo Findseries. You search in a sea of thousands of miniature cartoon-like faces hoping to scout out some squirrely looking man with a mustache, or in my sister’s case, a pink cat with a wizard’s hat. It was all fun and games back then with Peavey and Devyn seated on either side of me. Peavey is six years younger than me—formal name, Paul Richard. Don’t ask me how it evolved to Peavey. Nobody is actually certain about that. Devyn is three years younger than him, and they’re both my half-siblings according to biology, full siblings according to my heart. Hell, they are my heart. I live for them. I’d die for them. I’d kill for them, and did.
My feet come to an abrupt stop as I steal a moment to gaze at Conrad University in all its Gothic marble and limestone glory. Sort of an odd sight in smack-dab-middle-of-nowhere Idaho. But with enough money to back it, you could make just about any delusion happen, and I’m staring at the biggest eyesore of them all right now. Architecturally, it’s breathtaking, but it’s remarkably out of place in this reality. Wakefield is a small, one cow town. Conrad feels Disney-eque, something so wonderful you wish with all your heart it was true—not to mention the fact the price of admission will set you back a couple hundred paychecks. And for a drifter like me, there will never be enough of those to land me in a place like that. As it stands, I have my boss Joe to contend with at the Hideaway Café. He needs things I can’t give him right now—driver’s license, social security card. The tips of the iceberg for a place like Conrad who will want to delve deeper into my history and fish out report cards dating back to preschool. A private school like that probably requires dental records. A couple of letters of recommendation would be a given. They would want blood. And oddly enough, I could give them that last one. It wouldn’t even have to be my own. I had a body I could milk for that sanguine liquid once upon a time. Yes, I could give them blood. It just wouldn’t be mine.
The fresh scent of pine fills my lungs on this heavy blue sky day as summer gives way to fall. It’s a quick turnover here in this part of the state, the changing of the seasonal guard. One day it’s balmy out, the next the sun is but a dream and jags of lightning spear down in every vacant field. It’s as thrilling as it is terrifying to watch, let alone live through if you’re seeking shelter behind a dumpster at the Hideaway Café. But that’s no longer my home. I take a few brazen steps closer to Conrad, still tucked several hundred yards away from the prestigious university. Gabby, my dumpster savior, invited me to sit in on a class, but I don’t think I’ll go. Instead, I soak in the palpable academia of it all in the nearby woods—an entire verdant world is landscaped around the school like an emerald fortress adding to its Ivy appeal. You couldn’t even call it a poor man’s Ivy because the cost of tuition is up there with the real deal. No. Conrad doesn’t play second fiddle to anyone. It’s top-notch. Nothing but the best and the brightest. Which begs the question why someone as bright as Gabby Foxworthy would open her doors to a sewer rat like me.
The ever-expanding pines press in around me as I jog deeper into the woods along a well-worn dirt trail with a smattering of pine needles to cushion the sound of my worn tennis shoes as I beat them over the ground like a heartbeat. A bright red square catches my eye near a late-blooming dogwood and I steal the moment to head over and bury my nose in a white starry bloom.
Ah. Smells like heaven. God’s perfume, my mother used to call it. I remember the bush from Strafford. We had one just like it outside of our apartment. It’s the only good thing from that sorry town other than my brother and sister. My mother sold us for her next hit, so she disqualified herself from the memory. I pull back and eye the small red square before pulling my sleeve over my hand and picking it up.
No fingerprints. It’s something you learn along the way in ex-con U. But if you want to get technical, there is nothing ex about this con. Not so sure I’m a con either.
I bring the leather square forward and gasp at the treasure in my hand. A wallet. Oh myshit.
“God, let there be money in it,” I whisper as I bury my left hand in my sleeve and get to work. I count out three ten-dollar bills and balk as I slip them into my pocket. Of all the damn rich girls running around this place, I find the one with a pittance. A couple of cards sit snug in a leather pocket just behind the bills and my adrenaline kicks in. A driver’s license, a social security card, credit cards, debit card, but I don’t dare add theft to my repertoire. No thank you. Murder suits me just fine. And I have no remorse about it either. Therefore, according to psychology today—per the spare library card my aforementioned dumpster savior lent me—I also qualify as a textbook sociopath.
“Well then,” I pant as I slip the license and papery social security card into my pocket. I shouldn’t feel too bad about this minuscule heist. I’ll simply give the goods to Joe, and when it comes back to bite me in the ass, I’ll say I input the wrong information. Mix-up. Bat my lashes. Show some tits. Guys like Joe don’t believe a nice girl like me could be rotten to the core. Deep down, a nice girl like me doesn’t believe it either.
I drop the square back to its bed of pine needles and start in on my jog once again, this time with a spring in my step. Thirty dollars might as well be thirty million. This is already shaping up to be a banner day.
A silver spear glows against the dark ground just a few feet ahead. Another find no doubt. Some stupid coed must have lost the contents of her purse doing the walk of shame this morning. Can’t complain. Her loss is my financial gain. I head over and stop abruptly with my back hunched, my right hand already lurched out, greedy to steal another treasure from the ground, but I’m frozen solid. That’s no silver spear, nothing even remotely close to something I want to touch. The soft buzz of insects lights up the air as a swarm of flies dance over an open red gash. Muscles. The form of human legs—a girl’s, a woman’s—steals the light from the world and all I can see is the heavy bruises, the gray lifeless limbs of somebody’s daughter, their sister. I take a cautious step forward, six inches and no more, and then I see it, opened eyes staring vacantly at the sky, blonde curls unsettled around her face like a bad Halloween wig.
Something akin to a gasp hiccups in my throat, mixed with bile, assuring me I could vomit on cue. Call someone. Dead people need help, don’t they? Oh my God. Can’t move. Can’t breathe.
A bubbling laugh comes from somewhere behind me and I hop over a clearing of fresh dirt and onto a bed of pines before breaking for the other side of the woods, pausing momentarily only to hear a pair of shrill screams.
There. Body discovered—and not by me. I shudder as I slip into a stream of coeds walking north from campus, blending in seamlessly. I didn’t step in the mud. A part of me is relieved. There are no markers that I was anywhere near another crime scene. My hand floats over the contents in my pocket. I had patted myself on the back too soon. I may not have been responsible for that particular dead body, but we would forever remain inextricably connected.
Present Day
Charlie
It happened finally. Death had found me in my bed. In a fit of agony, I wrestled with a sudden tightness in my chest, excruciating and violent. But others will assume I’ve gone peacefully in my sleep. Oh hell, let them think it. I’ve lived out my ninety-six years on the planet with bliss, with trials and triumphs, and now my soul rises to the ceiling, floating as effortless as a helium balloon as I drift through the rafters into the night sky, already milky with the promise of morning. The sky recedes like a scroll, and a bevy of familiar faces surrounds me as I soar ever higher. Here I am on parade for all my former acquaintances to see. Oh my, there’s Randal! My husband of sixty-five years. My mother and the father I never knew already with their arms extended. Their mouths cheering, but I can’t hear them. Instead, music fills the air. My God, is that Abba? “The Winner Takes It All” vibrates through my being, beautiful and melodic as I fly higher, ever so higher to this brilliant destiny.
A shining being, so full of light and love, offers me an easy smile, his enormous hand and I take it.
And just like that, I wake with a jolt, sitting up in my bed as if ready to lurch right out of it. The old radio alarm Gabby gifted me is blaring the song that haunted my dreams, and I slap it silly until the room is bone quiet.
Randal. What the hell kind of name is Randal?
I shower and dress and meet up with my roommate in the kitchen with her fingers knotted up in her wild curls as she hovers over her laptop.
“Geez”—Gabby groans into her coffee, her eyes never leaving the glowing screen—“a cop was killed in Hunter last night after responding to a domestic dispute. It truly is the most dangerous job in the world.”
I grunt as I pull out the creamer from the fridge because, ultimately, I know where this is heading. “I’m pretty sure those guys that install cell towers, some lumber, and/or steel workers might disagree with you on that.”
“Nevertheless.” She lifts her coffee my way, and those glowing mossy green eyes of hers twinkle. Gabby is beautiful, with her chestnut-colored hair and vibrant backlit eyes. She could easily be a model, and she has been in one of her many incarnations. At twenty-two, she’s already had more career changes than your average forty-year-old. That’s what happens when your grandfather is the hotel god who introduced the country to affordable overnight stays six decades ago. And now the entire planet is pimpled with enough Foxworthy Inns to put a dent in the homeless population if he wanted. But he’s dead, and dead people often don’t get a vote, unless parties represented by a donkey or an elephant are involved. I’m not exactly a fan of politics.
My eyes wander to that hotspot in my bedroom and frown. I’m not a fan of the dead at the moment either.
“So—Jackson’s cousin, Theo, is like totally hot.” She wiggles her shoulders while doing her best impression of a Valley Girl from the eighties. “You know you can’t hole up in this condo forever. All you do is work and sleep. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not dead yet.”
“Well, that is the end goal, you know. Death is pretty much inescapable at this point for the both of us.” I slip the K-Cup into the Keurig and get my coffee brewing. Gabby’s condo is immaculate, decorator finished, and perfectly ready for a spread inArchitectural Digestif need be. Gabby comes from money, truckloads of it. And it affords her to do anything she wishes, even taking in a street urchin like me. The day we met, I was sleeping behind a dumpster at the Hideaway Café, still grateful to have scored a paying gig that let me eat the leftovers off any plate I wanted, so long as I did it behind the scenes. Joe, the owner, had lost his wife in an auto accident the year before, and according to the waitresses I work with, his heart softened to the hurting world. Prior to that, he would have shot me on site. I guess timing is everything. Lucky for me, death and I often coordinate our plans.
Gabby snaps her laptop shut as if making a statement. “Okay, how about we turn down the morbidity and get back to the task at hand—getting you off your lazy, single bottom and into the wild. Jackson and I are seeing a movie tonight. You can join us. And—if Theo happens to show up, we can call it a double date. Come on, he’s a totally nice guy.”
“Nice guys don’t thrill me. Besides, my stomach actually turned when you said double date.” I schlep my coffee over to the breakfast table to join her. “How about no. How about you and Jackson enjoy the movie and I’ll come home after work and enjoy the sweet oblivion that is sleep.”