Page 3 of A Sublime Casualt

“So, I hear you’re new in town,” he says just as we slide into our seats. In this dim light, his eyes glow ten times brighter. I have never seen eyes so bright with the exception of…

“Oh shit.” My lips are quick to betray me again.

“What’s the matter?” He glances back, his natural alert system rigged for trouble. “You need to leave? Did you have somewhere to go?”

“What? No.” My heart starts in on a riot. Say yes. Take the out. Run like hell right out of Wakefield. “I just”—a dull croaking sound comes from my throat—“I just realized who you are. I mean, I’m sorry about your sister.” It comes out so low it sounds like a series of hardly audible clicks.

“Me too.” His mouth hardens. He’s instantly pissed, and just as easily as the storm came, it passes and he’s back to nurturing that smile he’s putting on just for me. It looks painful. I want to tell him that he doesn’t need to try. “It’s been a year.” He shakes his head just as Tara drops off a menu—just one for him, a wink for me, and a couple of waters. “Thanks.” He nods her way. Nice guy strikes again. “You’d think I’d get used to it. But you can’t. My mom and sister are in hell every day right along with me.”

My stomach lurches. God, he’s human. His whole family is human. For so long I’ve tried to compartmentalize it. I had seen the missing posters up all around town, on campus at Conrad before Gabby rescued me from the streets like a stray.Lizzy Hartley, age twenty-seven, last seen 07/07/17.It had an eerie ring to it. I’ve memorized that flyer, her face with the dark wiry hair, pale eyes, cut features. It haunts me in my sleep.

“I’m so sorry.” I swallow down all the lies begging to bubble from my throat. An upbeat song starts in through the speakers and brightens the mood between us.

“We don’t need to talk about that.” He shakes his head, those dark brows twisting like worms as he glances to the menu.

“We serve breakfast all day long,” I say, sounding every bit like an advertisement. “Sorry, it’s sort of my spiel whenever I see anyone opening to the lunch or dinner options. It’s all sort of iffy around here. Don’t tell Joe I said that.” I wrinkle my nose the way I’ve seen the coeds do at Conrad. The only way out of this mess is to convince him that I’m so damn normal. That I’m someone he might actually think good things about when this is through. Females who commit violent crimes are more likely to be promiscuous. My God, I might have to sleep with him. Gabby is treading on thin ice and it’s fracturing fast. A brief vision of Officer Stavros lying over me naked, his rock solid body over mine, pulls me away from the table momentarily. I can almost feel the warmth of his chest, his fingers digging into my hair, giving a firm tug at the back of my neck. I can’t help but scowl over at him. I bet he’s too polite in bed for hair pulling. No. Gabby pegged him correctly. He is most certainly a totally nice guy. Please, may I touch your vagina? May I take off your bra now? It would be a game of Mother May I in the chastest sense. Or at least I’m guessing. I’m wrong about a lot of things, but that one would surprise me.

“Well, I like your spiel, Charlie.” He shuts the menu with a quiet hush and sets it to the edge. “All-you-can-eat pancakes for me,” he says just as Tara hits the table with her pencil at the ready. Tara is rail thin, gaunt, wrinkles and veins around her eyes like a road map. She’s a user. I could tell before she admitted it to me. Her cheeks are severely puckered, and her skin has the requisite pocking just the way my mother’s did. I’m not sure how she holds down a job, but I’m guessing the real problem is “her man,” her verbiage, not mine. She’s harmless, mostly toothless, and overall kind.

“Sure thing, sugar.” She nods over at me. “How ’bout you, Gem?”

My face flusters. When I first started working here, I needed a name—one not my own. I hesitated when Joe asked me my name and he nodded as if he understood. He asked if I had a nickname I preferred to go by and out it came like some Pez dispenser of truth. Gem. It’s what Peavey and Devyn called me back home. It’s what my mother called me. Her gem. Her oldest daughter. Her favorite little killer. She might not have said that last one out loud, but I’m guessing it might have a ring of truth to it if she knew what I did. I’m sure even from the grave I’d have her approval.

“Same for me,” I say before leaning over the table, elbows down, my gaze fully focused on my nice guy date. I’m trying my best to send a clear signal to Tara to boot scoot the hell away from us before she unleashes any more tidbits about me. I made the mistake of getting high with Tara once about six months ago. Who knows what secrets I might have spilled at the time? She’s toxic around the two of us.Us. I shake my head at the police officer seated across from me. There will never be an us.

“Tell me about yourself.” Theo has a warm way about him, and that pained look in his smiling eyes screamsI’m still grieving.I’m not ready for this. But a part of me believes he’s interested. It’s not ego on my part. Believe me, I would rather he not. But like most girls, I have a good radar for boys and men who seem genuinely interested. And Theo is just that, a strange combination of a boy and a man.

“I’m big on books.” I rim my water glass with my finger, a mild flirtation that saysI like you, too. Please like me and not in any sexual way. I don’t need that right now. Not from you. Your ties to the law have already ruined things between us.“I like reading. In fact, I was headed to the library when you caught me.” Holy hell, I struggle not to shove every napkin on the table into my mouth. I really do have a problem on my hands. Should I clue him in on the fact I particularly appreciate the free computers that I have access to? That the fact it enables me to communicate with my brother and sister while I’m on the wild and woolly lamb? We keep communication to a minimum, but we’re getting sloppy as of late, talking two and three times a week. The incident skirts the periphery of our conversations like a rat threatening to invade with an infestation. And now look at me. All-you-can-eat pancakes with a cop of all things. Bullshit rule number six six six: Never share carbohydrates with an officer of the law.

“The library? That’s great.” He inches back as if it were unbelievable. “We can swing by after if you want. I mean, you lit up when you mentioned it.”

“No. No, it’s fine, really.” No sir. Sorry Mr. Nice Guy, but this ends here with a saccharin bellyache and a waddle as I walk you out to your cruiser. No kiss. No second base, even though you’ve dropped those eyes to my cleavage twice now. Yes, I noticed. Mr. Perverted Nice Guy. “How about you? Have you lived in Wakefield long? How long have you been on the force? You’re Jackson’s first cousin, right?” Atta girl. Way to deflect. The one surefire way to get people to stop trying to invade your personal space is to turn the tables on them. People are ardent lovers of themselves. There is no better topic. Deflect, deflect, deflect.

“I’m originally from Redgrass about a couple hours away. Lived in Idaho all my life. Bought a place up here a few years ago to grow a pair.” His lips expand wide as if laughing at his own analogy. “Jackson moved in with me after my sister disappeared just to help keep my sanity glued together. Pretty boring, huh? Jackson’s mom and mine are sisters. Big Greek family.” He presses out a dry smile. “I guess I’ve been with the force for about five years now, going on six. I was about to upgrade to detective, but then Lizzy went missing, and my old partner took the position. He’s got her case. I was too close to it. You know, paperwork wise. The generalities of it would have been too much. I’m still working on it, though, right along with him.” He takes a deep breath. “Not much to work on. It’s been a cold case from the beginning.”

“She has a different last name, though.” Really? My God, somebody bring this girl a muzzle. “I mean, I’ve wondered about that.” It’s true. I’ve wanted to study up on her, but I’m afraid, so very afraid to know more than I already do. Lizzy was one of the first people to greet me when I arrived in Wakefield. That black and white flyer was lining my dreams. And then we had a far more formal meeting about two months later, and we’ve been closer than sisters ever since.

I take an urgent drink from my water as the room heats up around me unnaturally. My mouth should be kept busy at all times in an effort to divert the truth from gushing like a geyser.

He grimaces a moment. “Lizzy had a brief marriage a few years back. Thomas Hartley. Good guy.” He shakes his head regretfully. “My sister was a bull in a china shop wherever she went, whatever she undertook.” His eyes bulge a moment. “Is”—he pauses as he lets the right tense sink in—“Sheisa bull in a china shop. Sorry. I knew this would get ugly fast.”

“No, it’s okay. She’s your sister. You should think of her in the present tense. I mean, you never know, right? Keep hope alive and all those good things.” Keep hope alive and try not to hang yourself. My fingernails dig into my palm until they cut through the clammy flesh. I should excuse myself to the restroom and never come back. How cliché those words were. How cruel. I’ve always known I could be an insensitive ass, but this is a rotten time to display it.

His shoulders sag and he leans in deep as if he were about to whisper a secret. “It feels good to talk about it. Thank you.”

“Pleasetalk about it.” Talk about anything you like other than me. “I don’t mind, really.”

“That’s awful nice of you. But I won’t do it. How about you? Any siblings?”

Tara comes by just in time. “Here you go.” She lands two heaping plates of pancakes in front of us both. There should only be three on a plate to start with, and yet she’s loaded us down six deep. If Joe were here, it would be just cause for a cardiac episode on his part. Food waste is akin to a felony in his eyes, and I agree with him on that point.

“Thank you,” I say sharply. “Not one bite will go to waste.” I tick my head back to the kitchen. Go away, Tara. Do not interject yourself in my date with my totally nice cop. This is not your territory. Not mine either, but that’s another matter.

She gives a sly wink as if in on the joke. “Aw, come on, you were just getting to the good part. Tell him about Peavey and D and how you miss ’em so damn much.”

Hell.

She turns to Theo with her signature jack-o-lantern grin, every other tooth out of commission. “Never heard a girl care so much about her siblings. You’d think she was the mother. She’ll be a good one someday.” She smacks his arm with her elbow before sauntering off.