Page 58 of A Little Crush (The Little Things #6)

The thought ruminates as the waves continue lapping against the shoreline.

“I haven’t decided, though, so don’t stress,” she adds.

“Why would I stress?”

The fire dances in her pretty gaze as she holds my stare, not answering me but not retreating either.

She’s nervous. And she doesn’t want to show her hand.

Doesn’t want to admit that my opinion on where she lives matters.

And maybe it shouldn’t. Maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions I have no right to leap to.

The old Rory would’ve caved by now. Would’ve changed the subject.

I can’t help but notice the way she’s standing her ground, and it’s sexy as hell.

“Where do you see yourself in five years, Jaxon? Still in Lockwood Heights? Or…?”

“Definitely in Lockwood Heights.”

“What else?” she prods .

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” I admit. Not because I want to keep an answer from her, but after the last year of my life and everything that’s happened, everything that’s been taken and given to me, I can’t even imagine what my next five years could look like, let alone how I want them to wind up.

“Do you think you’ll still be coaching the Lions?” she asks.

“Depends on your dad.”

“If you could paint your future any way you wanted and had full control of every scenario,” she clarifies. “What would you want?”

I shouldn’t be surprised at how quickly she turned the table.

How quickly she shifted the attention from her potential plans to move back to Lockwood Heights to me and my potential plans.

Yet here we are, talking about me instead of focusing on her.

She’s choosing to play off my decisions, my wants and needs, before revealing her own.

It’s a cautious move, but considering our history, I understand why.

Tugging her back into me, I ask, “And I have full control of this five year plan? Whatever I want? I can be selfish and not think about anyone else?”

She nods. “Pretty sure that’s the definition of selfish, but yes.”

“Smart-ass,” I mutter, giving her an extra squeeze. “Let’s see. Iris moves to the opposite side of the world and gives me full custody of Poppy.”

“Harsh, but understandable,” Rory concedes, her tone thick with mirth. “What else?”

“Poppy’s allowed on the bench and never cries during the games or practices.”

“Oo, you’re shooting for the stars, aren’t ya?” She sits up a little more, clearly intrigued. “Go on.”

“The Lions give me a billion-dollar raise, and I’m able to have anyone on the team any time I want.”

Her body shakes with amusement. “Obviously. ”

“And…” My pulse jumps as I stare down at the most beautiful woman tucked against me.

Say it, asshole. Tell her what you really want.

“And you’re there, too. In Lockwood Heights. At the games. Right next to me on the bench.”

“Not in the stands?”

“Too far,” I argue.

She tucks her chin, somehow curling into me even more. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” My arms tighten around her. “I want you right by my side, Rore. Cheering me on and squeezing my ass to distract me from whatever’s happening on the ice.”

Her nose scrunches in the most adorable way possible as she tries hiding her smile. “That’s kind of difficult if I’m all the way in Harden Heights.”

“True.” I sigh. “But I told you it was a selfish pipe dream, not necessarily a realistic one.”

“I mean, the possibility of getting a billion-dollar bonus is a little on the slim side.”

“Unfortunately.” I smile. “What about you? Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Hmm.” Her attention falls to the ground. “Let’s see. Am I allowed to piggyback off yours?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“I kind of like the idea of Iris being on a different continent.” She grimaces, but I don’t miss the levity in her expression.

“I also love the idea of you having free access to Poppy whenever you want, although I kind of like the way her bottom lip wobbles when she’s about to cry, and how I’m one of the only people who knows how to soothe her, so I think I’ll keep the prickliness. ”

“You sound like Uncle Mack when he describes Aunt Kate. ”

Rory grins up at me. “True, but it definitely fits your baby girl, too.”

“It does,” I agree. A familiar ache resurges in my chest at the reminder of Poppy’s absence, but I breathe past it, trying to focus on the here and now. “So far, I’m only hearing things about other people. Where do you see your future?”

“Well.” She taps her thumb against the back of my hand. “Since we’re talking selfish pipe dreams, I want my OCD to be obsolete. That would be nice.”

Selfish? The woman doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body.

She hides it well, though. The effect her OCD has on her.

But I know it isn’t easy. Battling her obsessive thoughts day in and day out.

I can only imagine how much easier her life would be if they were silenced and she could live without them.

Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to take it away.

To carry the burden myself. If only it was so easy.

I kiss the top of her head. “What else?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah, Rore. I really do.”

“I want to be married,” she murmurs with a reverence that shoots straight through me. “And I want two children. Maybe three. At least one boy and girl. Although, I’m not too picky on the gender part.”

My mouth lifts. “Of course not.”

“And I want Hades to live forever. And I want Archer to come back. And I want a home with a big tree in the front yard and a treehouse in the back for the kids.”

“Love a good treehouse,” I tell her.

“Right?” Her voice softens. “It would be amazing.”

It would. So much so I can almost see it.

Rory outside in one of her sundresses with her mini-me on her hip, yelling at her little boy who’s playing a pirate from his treehouse and is dropping rocks from the top, pretending they’re cannonballs as he battles a fleet of ships.

Hell, the picture is so clear, I can’t help but want to draw myself beside her with Poppy on my shoulders.

It’s a dangerous thought. One I never thought I’d have again. One I never wanted to have again. Not after the fallout with Iris. Rory’s always had a way of being the exception, though. Is that what she is in this circumstance as well? Does she want to be?

Pushing past the tightness in my throat, I ask, “And your career?”

We still haven’t talked about it. About the deadline we set when she offered to help me out with Poppy.

Instead, we’ve buried our heads in the sand, pretending like it doesn’t exist. She’s emailed me a few resumes here and there, but I haven’t had the stomach to open them, knowing that if I do, it’ll mean Rory’s quitting.

Moving on. And my baby girl will have to rely on someone else—someone who isn’t me or the only other person who knows how to dry her tears while I’m on the ice.

And damn, if it isn’t a hard pill to swallow, even when I know it’s inevitable.

Or at least, it should be inevitable. Considering Rory’s lack of follow up emails, or how they’re fewer and farther in between, I can’t help but wonder if she’s choosing to ignore it, too.

Like maybe, just maybe, she’s as happy with the arrangement as I am.

“Honestly?” She hesitates. “I don’t want to work when my kids are little.

I want to be home and be present as much as I can, at least until they’re in school, you know?

I know I paid a lot of money for my degree, and I love the idea of helping little kids any way I can.

But…I don’t know. I guess I’m old fashioned.

” Her shoulder lifts. “We’ll see, though.

It’s not like I need to make any decisions anytime soon, right? ”

She did it again. Turned the table. Left the ball in my court.

Innocently probing for answers without showing her full hand.

And maybe I should be bothered by it. By her lack of transparency when it comes to our relationship.

But I can’t . Because she’s never been wishy-washy about her feelings for me.

Not in the way I’ve been with her. And if she needs to continue using ambiguity to protect herself until I can make up my own mind, so be it.

“And where is this treehouse?” I ask.

Rory sits up and peeks over her shoulder to face me again. “Selfishly? In Lockwood Heights. Close to my parents.” Indecision shines in her eyes. Or maybe it’s not indecision. Maybe it’s something else. Something I can’t quite pinpoint. “And you. If I get to be selfish, I want to be close to you.”

The organ in my chest swells as I drag my fingers along her cheek, watching the dying fire dance across her skin.

Go figure. She’d be the one to knock me on my ass.

The one to surprise me, even after knowing her all these years.

The one to tell me what she really wants despite being able to use the ambiguity I was assuming she would without any fault of her own.

Yet here she is, being braver and more direct than I’d ever given her credit.

“Wanna be close to you, too, Beautiful,” I rasp.

“You do?” Her hushed voice tugs at the organ behind my sternum.

“Yeah. I really do.”

And damn, if it isn’t the truth.

“So, what does this mean?” she asks.

“It means you’re moving to Lockwood Heights.”

“And my position as Poppy’s nanny?”

“Is yours for however long you want it. I support you, Rore. Completely.”

With a soft smile, she whispers, “Thank you.”