Page 22 of A Little Crush (The Little Things #6)

RORY

“ W hat am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing?” I pace my childhood bedroom as Hades watches my mental breakdown from my bed. I thought if I slept on my manic offer to nanny Poppy, the nerves would go away. Pretty sure they’ve multiplied.

I’m supposed to go home today. My bags are already packed, and I had no intention of doing anything but escaping back to Harden Heights as soon as Mav and Lia said “I do.” Instead, I opened my big, fat mouth and offered to help Jax out of a bind.

And not just a little bind. Oh, no. It’s a big, fat one.

My big, fat mouth got me into a big, fat doozy, and now I don’t know what to do about it.

Is there anything I can do about it? I mean, I could always back out.

But that’s a terrible idea. Not only is it selfish, but it also screws over Jaxon.

He’ll look untrustworthy to his ex and will probably be distracted during the first weeks of coaching the Lions.

It might even set them up for a bad season, which will hurt my dad’s wallet, might even put stress on their relationship, not to mention affect my cousins’ livelihoods, which would be absolutely terrible and?—

“Knock, knock!”

Flinching at the sound, I press my hand to my chest as the door handle twists and Tatum steps inside.

As soon as she sees me, her brows clash. “Okay, what happened?”

With a fake smile, I force my feet to stay in place and stop tapping my outer thigh. “Hi.”

“Hi?”

“Hi,” I repeat.

I’m still not sure why I called Tatum. Okay, that’s a lie.

She’s my confidante. My other half. My sister from another mister, even when she’s a pain in the ass.

Although, now that she’s here, I’m kind of regretting my decision.

Why? Because there’s no way I'll be able to tell her my impromptu job opportunity without her flying off the handle or calling me out for losing my mind.

And the worst part? She'll be right. I have lost my mind.

Completely. Fully. Lost. My. Mind.

With a laugh, Tatum collapses onto my bed, causing an unamused Hades to move to the floor. She ignores him, crossing her legs in front of her. “Okay, now that the totally not awkward pleasantries are out of the way, what’s up?”

What’s up? It’s a simple question. It deserves a simple answer. Come on, Rore. Just say it.

“Uh. Well? I, uh.” My face scrunches. “I’m not going home.”

“What?” Her eyes bulge. “Rory, I thought we were catching the same flight?—”

“I know, but there was a change of plans,” I blurt out as another wave of queasiness washes over me.

Tatum shakes her head. “What kind of change of plans?”

Come on, Rore. You’ve already come this far .

Grabbing the collar of my T-shirt, I tug it away from my skin in search of a light breeze because…is it hot in here or is it just me?

“Rore?” she prods.

“I, uh, I’m staying…for…a little while.”

Her forehead wrinkles. “Why?”

“Well, it’s actually a really funny story,” I ramble. “I, uh, I found a job, so...”

If it were another situation, I’d find Tatum’s deer in the headlights expression amusing, but it only makes me want to puke more.

“You found a job?” she repeats.

“Yeah. I found a job.” I gulp, refusing to dab at my hairline despite the perspiration I can literally feel accumulating under my best friend’s knowing stare. “It’s only temporary, but still.”

“Well, that’s great,” she returns. “I’m just a little surprised. I didn’t even know you were looking.”

“I mean, technically I wasn’t,” I mumble.

“So, what is it?”

Blah, why does it feel like I'm being interrogated right now?

“It’s, uh, it’s in childcare,” I answer.

“Childcare?” She leans back on her elbows, her gaze narrowing. “Childcare psychology? Or…?”

“Just childcare,” I answer. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna be nannying for a little while.”

“Nannying?” She laughs. “For who?”

I fight the urge to cringe, preparing for the onslaught of questions and assumptions I have no doubt will follow as soon as I fill her in.

“Well.” Acid fills my mouth, but I choke it down.

“I overheard Jaxon talking to his ex, and it came out that he doesn't have anyone to watch Poppy while he has her, and I kind of blurted out that I was the new nanny, and?— ”

“You what?” she screeches. Jumping to her feet, Tatum grabs my biceps and stops me from pacing. Not sure when I started up again, but here I am. ”Okay, enough fun and games,” she announces. “Watching you freak out was kind of funny, but I’m over it. Rory, spill. And I mean everything.”

Fisting my hands at my sides, I repeat, “I already told you. I’m Poppy’s new nanny.”

“Rory—”

“I know,” I rush out. “I know what you’re going to say, but it’s only for like a month or two, and it’ll be totally fine.”

“Totally fine.” She gives me a look like I’ve grown a second head. “Are you serious right now?”

“I mean, it’s not that big of a deal?—”

“Rory, sit down.” She tugs me to the bed and forces me to sit. “Okay, you know I love you, and I think we can both agree that you’ve always been the one with the brains in this friendship, but do you have any idea how insane this plan is?”

Yes. Yes, I do. But it’s too late. I’ve already considered my options and none of them leave Jaxon unscathed.

Besides, I’m the one who butted my head into his already precarious situation.

No one made me do it. It was all me. And it isn’t fair for him to take the fall or to come out looking like a liar. Right?

“Rory, please tell me why you would agree to this,” my best friend begs.

“Tatum, he needed me?—”

“So?” She snorts. “Look, I know you think you’re capable of handling being around Jaxon again, but you have to cut me some slack for being the voice of reason here. I really don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I won’t,” I promise.

“You don’t know that.”

“I think I know myself pretty well, Tate,” I argue.

“Rore.” She squeezes my hands softly. “Look, I know you think you’re over him, and maybe you are, but do you really think it’s a good idea to travel with this guy for an entire month when you’ve barely come around to the idea of being in the same room with him without wanting the ground to open up and swallow you whole? ”

The girl knows me too well.

“I mean, technically it’s only two weeks,” I argue. “When Poppy’s with her mom, I’ll be home with my family and helping Jaxon interview my replacement.”

She drops her head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah, because that makes it better.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“Fine,” she repeats, looking less than convinced.

“Yeah. Fine.”

Her head rolls forward, and she eyes me warily. “Are there no take backs? No other options?”

She thinks I haven’t already asked that question?

Resting my elbows on my knees, I thread my fingers through the hair on top of my head and tug gently. “Not without his ex holding it over his head.”

The mattress dips beside me before Tatum rubs my back. “Which is the last thing you want.”

“And the last thing he deserves.”

“So you’re stuck.”

I nod in my hands. “I’m stuck.”

“Shit.”

A dry laugh escapes me. “Pretty much.”

“You need to promise me something,” she decides.

“What?”

“Promise me if you catch feelings, you’ll leave. You’ll put yourself first, and you’ll get out of there.”

“I won’t?—”

“Rory.” She gives me a look that would make both our mamas proud .

“It’s not even an issue,” I retort. “Besides, Jaxon thinks I’m with Dodger, and I’m sure if I ask Dodge to continue our little ruse, he’ll be up for it as long as not too many people find out, and any potential awkward encounters will be mitigated because Jaxon will know I’m not interested.

Because I can’t be. Because I have a boyfriend. ”

Giving me the side-eye, Tatum argues, “Yeah, that was really convincing.”

I shove her shoulder and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “It’ll be fine.”

“You’re right. It will be. And the moment it isn’t, you’ll call me and Pax, and I will fly to where you are, and we’ll pick you up. We promise.”

She would, too. I know it. Even though I want to tell her there’s no need and she’s being ridiculous.

The truth is, I’m grateful. That she has my back even when I don’t necessarily deserve it.

After all, I’m willingly putting my fragile heart in a very difficult position, and I can say I’m fine all I want, but if I’m honest with myself, I’m not entirely sure.

I want to be. I want to be over him. I want to be solid with my stance on our friendship and my own feelings.

But wanting something doesn’t make it true.

Not really. Only my sheer determination will get me through this, and even that wavers from time to time.

Don’t think like that , I silently remind myself.

Rolling onto my side, I face my best friend. “Thanks, Tate.”

“You know I’ve got you.”

And she’s right. I do. It’s my favorite thing about the girl.

Tatum might be a mess in some areas of her life—hell, before she met Pax, she was a mess in all areas of her life—but when it comes to her relationships, when it comes to me and our friendship, she’s as solid as stone, and I’ve never been more grateful for it .

As Tatum lays beside me, I ask, “So, how are you and?—”

My phone buzzes with a text, interrupting me.

Jaxon

Hey. Is this still Rory’s number?

My heart surges into my throat as I scan the message. Even if I didn’t have his number saved in my phone, I’d still recognize it even after all these years. Whether or not it’s a good thing is debatable, though.

“Who is it?” Tatum asks.

I gulp. “Jax.”

Curious, she rolls onto her stomach and props her head on her hands. “What’d he say?”

Showing her my phone so I won’t have to relay the entire conversation, I type my response.

Me

Hey, Jax. Yes, it’s me. Hi.

Jaxon

Hey. I was thinking, would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me tonight so we can talk?

Talk? Talk about what? My palms sweat at the thought alone as I fight the urge to dissect every single word like it holds the answer to world peace despite the other half of my brain screaming at me that it isn’t a loaded question.

He wants to meet up to talk. Simple. Straightforward.

And very Jaxon Thorne. I shouldn’t expect anything less.

But if that’s the case, why is the thought of sitting down alone with the guy so nerve-wracking?

“He wants to buy you a drink?” Tatum asks.

I glance at her. “I mean, it’s logical. Right?”

“Coffee’s logical. Drinks?” Tatum whistles. “Drinks are dangerous. ”

“His mornings are probably full,” I argue. “The guy’s busy.”

“Yeah, busy sending you mixed signals?—”

My buzzing phone cuts her off.

Jaxon

I’d love to discuss a game plan for this arrangement. Thoughts?

Her lips press into a thin line as she reads the message over my shoulder.

“See?” I offer. “Completely platonic.”

“And boring,” she decides before kissing my cheek. “You two are perfect for each other.”

“I thought I was supposed to run in the opposite direction if I catch feelings,” I argue.

“Semantics.” She waves her hand around and climbs off the bed, reaching for my already packed bag and unzipping it. “The question is, what will you wear?”

I ignore her, turning back to my phone.

Me

Sounds great! Just tell me when and where.