Page 86

They kept swaying. The ball dance forgotten. Their daughter forgotten, even if for a few moments. All the years gone by forgotten. Moreover, the question marks of the future forgotten.

————————————————————

“This is the bestest night of my whole life!” Brahmi sang, siting in the car between the two of them. Her hand held his and her head lay on Ava’s arm. The heels were gone, her feet half on his knee, while her updo was down, the tiara still tucked tight in her temple. Samarth squeezed her tiny hand.

“We’ll do it again whenever you want.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Her eyes fell closed. Then they snapped open in panic and her body twisted until she was whispering something in Ava’s ear. He was shameless enough at this point to keep his ear out for what that was but couldn’t catch it. He tried to read Ava’s face and it was suddenly struck. Bewildered.

“Share with the class, ladies,” he joked. But his daughter turned to him with small, sad eyes.

“Brahmi?” He closed his other hand over hers and rubbed it. “What happened?”

She swallowed. “Nothing.”

Samarth glanced up at Ava but she was silent.

The car honk made him snap out of the tension and glance ahead as it rolled down Ava’s lawn.

He got out and helped them out one by one, picking up Brahmi when her dress kept tumbling into her feet without the heels.

She wrapped her arms around him and lay her head on his shoulder, even the skin of her cheek feeling sad to him. How could he feel her skin’s sadness?

“Are you sleepy?” He asked quietly. She shook her head.

“You didn’t like the food?”

She shook her head.

“Do you want to go again tomorrow?”

She didn’t shake her head but Ava glared at him. This was it then? She wanted another ball? He would host a thousand of those to make her smile again.

“Come on, baby,” Ava took her down at the door, slipped her tiara off and smoothed her hair. Go and change into your pyjamas first. I’ll be there to wash your face in a minute.”

“Bye, Sam,” she waved at him, suddenly looking not like the little lady but like a tiny baby. He wanted to gather her up and pack her home with him. Or roll up around her and stay here.

“Bye, baby,” he smiled. Without returning that smile she turned and went in. Ava closed the door behind her and he stepped close to her — “What is with her? What happened suddenly? Did I do something wrong? If she wants to go again tomorrow we can…”

“She is scared that if her father comes from South America then she would have to go with him and not you.”

He stilled. His eyes squeezed shut and a tear wrung out. The soft pad of a thumb came to brush it away.

Samarth opened his eyes. “What do I do?”

“Are you ready to tell her?” Ava asked.

“That I am… that… I am her…”

She nodded.

“Are you?” He croaked.

“You are not going anywhere, right? Samarth this will be serious now. Everything. I will not allow you to leave ever again. And if you do, I will not sit quietly and get lost in oblivion. The world will know, your family, your kingdom will know and my daughter will get her father back by hook or by crook.”

He grabbed her face in his hands and pulled her close — “She already has.”

Ava blinked.

“You have left me at every turn. I don’t know why I am entrusting you with the most important, fragile thing of my life but,” she shook her head malevolently.

“I am taking this leap of faith so that my daughter does not have to continue living her life without her father. She… hasn’t stopped talking about you since the day she met you.

Every time you leave she waits, asks, thinks aloud about you.

She craves your presence, craves your attention like she would a father’s.

She doesn’t understand these feelings yet but I see them and Samarth, don’t you dare walk away from her. ”

“Come. What. May. I am not leaving her, or you, behind.”

Her throat worked a swallow.

“Tell her you always wanted to come.”

“I wanted to.”

“Tell her you would have traded all the world to come to her.”

“I would have.”

“Tell her you couldn’t because it was… it was…”

“Can I handle this?” He asked quietly, having collected his strength. “Do you trust me?”

Ava exhaled, then nodded very slowly. He kissed the corner of her mouth. Slow, deep, lingering. She inhaled. Their eyes met.

“Then take me to my daughter.”

————————————————————

Samarth sat on the sofa, still as a rock.

He had shrugged out of his coat and yanked open his bowtie.

It hung around his neck, feeling still just as weighted as it had felt tied around his neck.

The clock’s hand moved, nothing else. And then the silence was broken by two pairs of footsteps.

He glanced sideways — Brahmi in her pyjamas, all traces of her lipstick and blush gone, Ava still in her ballgown.

They came and sat down beside him, Brahmi looking sad but also confused.

Samarth turned his body towards her and held her gaze. Her tiny, sad, confused gaze.

“Did you enjoy tonight, Brahmi?” He asked, giving her his most nervous smile. That did the trick. She smiled back, if only to reassure him. Then nodded.

“I did too. It was the bestest night of my life as well, you know that?”

She looked down, her smile bittersweet.

“Did Mama ever tell you how we met?”

She looked up at him, surprised. Then shook her head.

“Can I tell you?”

She nodded. He spread his arm over the headrest and leaned into it, feeling her body come closer and her head fall under his arm in complete faith. Samarth glanced at Ava. She was nervous. He gave her a reassuring smile.

“I was studying in a school named Saraswati Crest. I was in 7th Standard and Mama was made to sit next to me on my bench.”

“Really?” She rolled her eyes up to her mother. Ava nodded — “Really.”

“Your Mama was the bestest friend I ever had. I rode horses and she played cricket in school. We went to temples together, danced together, made food together, she taught me Geography. I loved your Mama so much.”

“Do you love me too?”

He couldn’t contain the burst of joy inside him — “Yes, I do. So much.”

“Then can you tell my father to not come from South America? Mama doesn’t have his number. Can you find out and tell him no?”

This was his golden opportunity.

“I can’t.”

Her lower lip jutted out.

“Because I am already here.”

She frowned.

“You should have called me before I left South America and asked me not to come. Now I am here. What to do?”

Her eyes widened. Her little body tensed up. She glanced up at her mother. A long moment of silence passed between them and Samarth left that last decision to her. She took it.

“Sam is your father.”

“Real father?”

“What is real father?” Samarth poked the top of her head. “You have a cousin father as well?”

She giggled, making his heart breathe easy. Ava’s laugh came on the heels of his and the atmosphere in her hall lightened marginally.

“Sam is your real father. He wanted to come to you so bad…”

“Then why didn’t you? Were the horses in South America so sick?” Brahmi turned to him.

“I was in South America and then in Nawanagar,” he confessed. Ava’s head rose but he nodded to her. He wouldn’t discredit her but he wouldn’t lie to his daughter either. Not if he could help it.

“In India, your home?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you come to me then?”

“Because I couldn’t.”

Kids were so easy to answer to sometimes. He had learned that with Sharan. You gave them a reason and they took that, without thinking and overthinking and asking counter questions. His daughter did just that.

Then she broke his heart by asking — “Will you come again?”

“Can I never leave?”

Her face lit up.

“Really?”

“If you want to keep me and give me some space.” Samarth shrugged. “Or a little more, since I am a little tall. I would like to stay.”

“Forever and ever and ever?”

“Forever and ever and ever.”

“Like a father?”

“ The father, Brahmi. The father. One is always ‘the.’”

She giggled, rolling until her head was on his chest and her feet in Ava’s lap.

She saw her mother and as if she had just realised that her mother called the shots, instantly shot up and crawled to her.

Ava gathered her in her arms, like a little baby.

In that moment Samarth pictured it — how she would have looked with a newborn Brahmi, what Ava’s face would have looked like in that tenderness of holding their daughter for the first time.

“Can Sam stay with us?” She asked Ava softly. Then went close to her ear and whispered — “If you want to say no then just shake your head.”

Samarth chuckled, as did Ava. She kissed their daughter’s head and cuddled her close. Her eyes met his — “If he wants to stay then he is free to stay.”

“Yay!” Brahmi broke free from her mother’s hold and pounced on him. He caught her in time, embracing her without guilt or fear for the first time. Without worrying about crossing boundaries or making her uncomfortable. Without thinking about pulling away because it was too long now.

This time he held her tight and close and squeezed her to himself, seeing Ava blink away quickly and pull the corner of her eye dry.

“You know, if you are family you can sleep in the same house!” Brahmi informed him.

“Can I?” He reared back shocked, raising his brows at Ava. “Mama and Papa sleep in the same house?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Yes!” Brahmi enlightened him. “Mama! Tell him! Family always sleeps in the same house.”

“Why not?” Ava deadpanned. “We have a very spacious guest bedroom. But sadly we have a rule — no sleeping in your day clothes.”

“What would you have me sleep in then?” He smirked. Her eyes widened.

“Mama and I have lots of PJs but they are girl PJs and very small for you so you can sleep in your shirt and pants for today. But get your PJs tomorrow, ok? Only today, Mama? Please? He will get his PJs tomorrow.”

“Mama?” Samarth pushed.

“Fine.”

“Yay, yay, yay!” Brahmi hopped to the floor and did a little jiggle dance. “I will bring my storybook and take you to your room, ok, Sam?”

“Ok,” he laughed, looking at her run. Then they were alone in the hall and he sat back beside Ava, staring straight up at the ceiling like she was — “You have some debts you owe me. Would you like to pay them while I am in my day clothes or after I am changed into my night suit?”

“You don’t have a night suit.”

“Birthday suit. I remember you having a particular fondness for it.”

He screamed when a hand landed on his throat.

“What happened, Papa?!” A sweet voice called out from her room.