Page 28

— AVANTIKA —

Avantika stared at his empty place at the far end of the class, his window seat waiting. Ms. Shanaya droned on about some iron ore mines in eastern India, but Avantika could not concentrate. Advay passed her a chit. She opened it.

Come back and play hangman with us

She set it aside. Tulika took it and turned her body instead, using her pencil on the bench behind them to play.

Avantika kept staring, worried. She had been unable to speak to him ever since his father’s wedding had been announced.

Wedding . That had been a googli right out of nowhere.

When Samarth had told her about it, she had been shocked, surprised, curious and excited all at once.

He had not talked long though, telling her that everything was going to be done quickly and he might not be available to talk.

She had been in Copenhagen and anyway waking up at the time when he went to sleep. Avantika had let him go, threatening him for pictures. Lots of pictures. He hadn’t sent them but texted when the wedding was done. That was the day before yesterday. He hadn’t said he would be absent today.

Avantika kept her hopes up as the period progressed, hoping he would run into class late, then compel whichever teacher was teaching to allow him entry with his honest, sweet charm. Her hopes kept dying with every period that passed.

Geography. Literature. Sanskrit Studies. Maths. Break. Hindi. Physics. Physics. Yoga.

Samarth didn’t come. And there was no friend here closer to him than she was who would know why.

Now that Avantika thought about it and began to count heads, she realised the entire school was Samarth’s ‘friend’ but nobody really was his friend.

If she had to go ask somebody right now if they had heard from him yesterday or today, she wouldn’t get any answer.

Not from Jai, not from Gopi, not from Kush or Vishnu or even Coach Singh.

She was the one who knew him. Who got all his updates. Except this one.

That thought made her preen. And Avantika set aside the worry of his absence on the first day.

Maybe he was saying goodbye to his horses and missed his flight.

Or was spending time with his father and his new wife.

Or maybe his Dada Sarkar had stopped him.

Or Hira ben would have come to the airport to drop him and they lost track of time in some story.

Ava laughed to herself, immersing herself in the merits of Bokaro coal mines.

After all, she would have to understand it herself to explain to the Geography loser that was her boyfriend!

————————————————————

Avantika rushed down the school corridor and out the door.

She didn’t have practise today but Coach Dhillon wanted to run batting drills with them.

Only the batters. She had twenty minutes to eat lunch, something lighter than ‘light’ because there were miles of running immediately after, she was sure.

A banana, dal and two rotis with salad, she counted in her head.

She wouldn’t be caught dead eating this fare at home but if it was cricket, she would happily sacrifice.

And, after the drill, Coach would have Reese’s cups ready for them all. He was great at rewarding that way…

“Hhuuu!”

Avantika stopped, her heart racing at that familiar grunt. She pushed out of the spill of students around her and stared at the hill leading to the stables. Harsh. Avantika grinned, forgetting lunch, forgetting practise, forgetting Reese’s cups, and just running.

Running. Running. Running.

“Harsh!” She stopped short of his chest that was rising above her nose. “Where is Samarth? When did you come? Why are you late…”

He nudged his chin over his shoulder. Towards the stables.

Avantika frowned. He hadn’t even smiled.

He didn’t smile as freely as the lot of them did but he did smile at her and chatted with her.

She understood a lot of what he gestured, and Samarth translated if she didn’t. Or Harsh wrote it for her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

He nudged his chin again.

Avantika hitched her bag’s strap higher over her shoulder, braced, and launched into a sprint.

Down the hill and over the next one, running towards the stables — their ‘spot.’ Was it a surprise?

Had he got a new horse? Something for her?

Had he got those lehenga-choli sets she had raved to him about?

Those 12 metre wide garba lehengas? She wouldn’t put it past Samarth.

He was a boy, but he was the most thoughtful boy.

And did not flinch while doing such tender things. That’s what had drawn her towards him.

He was so himself, so secure, so sure of his life, his beliefs and his goals.

Unlike all the boys, contemporaries and seniors.

All the girls too, even the most mature ones.

Ava didn’t know too many adults that closely but she was sure even they wouldn’t be as clear-headed and secure as Samarth was in himself.

Which teenager would openly go to Badrinath otherwise and smile through Kresha’s teasing?

Which teenager would push his father to marry again?

That one had jolted her as well as made her love him more.

She had seen and believed in her parents being a team outside of being her parents.

He had accepted that his Papa had a team outside of him.

That was guts. Or maybe that was Samarth.

Avantika’s chest shuddered with excitement and pride.

She turned the corner to the final fencing of the stables and stopped.

There he stood, the horses grazing in the far distance behind him.

He wasn’t looking at them though, his eyes were on her.

They had been on the path she would take.

Avantika broke into another run, this one faster than any run chases she had ever run.

She sprinted, jumping, and threw herself into his arms — “Oh my gaaawwd! Why the hell were you absent today?!”

It took a second longer for his arms to come around her. But they did, and squeezed tight. But his head did not push itself into her shoulder. Nor did he bend down to scoop her up fully, feet and all dangling.

Avantika pulled back, cupping his cheek — “Are you ok? Were you sick?”

He did not look sick. In his casual clothes of polo and jeans, he looked exactly like the guy who had left here.

“Samarth?” She nudged his face lower. His eyes smiled.

“I am not sick, Ava,” he took her hand and lowered themselves on the grass. It was green again, the spring of March touching its surface with magic. She tried to stick into his side but he sat in front of her instead, crossing his legs.

“Then why were you absent? You landed just now?”

“I landed yesterday.”

“Ok, Samarth, come to the point.”

“So, my Papa got married…”

“Yeah, I know, duh! You are awesome, by the way. Tell me all the deets. How did you go there? How did you find out about her…?”

“I promised Maarani’s father that I will abdicate the throne of Nawanagar. Took an oath.”

“Whaaaa?! Are you crazy? Is he crazy…”

“No,” he shook his head. “He is a simple, good man. They are good people. But they have their concerns, rightly so. You know about Devgadh’s royal family?”

She shook her head. She didn’t even know where Devgadh fell on the map. Her parents would know though. She wasn’t into the royal family gossip and she didn’t live at home enough to listen to it anyway.

“Maan bhai,” Samarth cued.

“Oh,” she realised now. “The great Polo player Maan bhai? He can’t see now, no?”

“He can, just not completely in front of him. There was a coup in his family. Maarani’s parents are from that kingdom, and they have been firsthand witnesses to that internal war between him and his sister.

It was brutal, they came to the point of killing each other.

That’s why they said no to my Papa the first time he went to talk to them. ”

“And now what? Your Papa just agreed to let you give up the throne and got married? That’s so sick…”

“He did not. He doesn’t know it yet.”

She reeled back.

“Are you crazy?”

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

Ava got onto her haunches — “Are you crazzyyy?! What the fuck, Samarth?”

“There’s more.”

She sank back down.

“They were concerned about the future of their daughter’s heirs. Claims and stuff from my family. So I also gave up marrying and having a family.”

She blinked.

“You’re joking, right?”

Samarth stared at her, unblinking.

“Right?”

His mouth opened, then closed.

Her brain fused off. Was he for real right now?

“I am sorry, Ava. So sorry. You were my first thought and my last thought that day but…”

“Does your stepmother know this?”

“Don’t talk about her like that, please.”

“Does she know it or not, Samarth?”

“Yes, she was there.”

“Who is this whacko woman?!” She shot to her feet. "Fuuuccck! Is she crazy? Are you mad? Letting your father marry a selfish gold digger like that?! You should have stopped right then!”

“She is not like that.”

“Give me her phone number.”

“Ava, Maarani is not a bad person…”

“You are so good that even the medium bad seems normal to you. You are a crazy senti emotional fool but I am not. This Tara Maarani of yours needs to be knocked with something hard on her head to teach her common sense…”

“Stop, Ava,” he thundered up to his feet. His deep, commanding, Kunwar of Nawanagar voice jolted her. But this time it did nothing to deter her. She stood toe to toe with him. The mad, emotional fool. What was he doing with his life?!!!

“I am sorry, please, I am very sorry. My Papa has given up his entire life for Nawanagar and me. He has lived out his best years taking care of us. And even today he is a great king to Nawanagar but he is not happy. You taught me to see my father as a man, a person who had a life before me. I see it now, I can’t sit on the side letting him live out his life like that.

I will finish school and start college, go away to London or wherever, and he will always be stuck here. Alone…”

“So you decided to be stuck alone instead? That’s crazy ! What happened to a long time? I thought you meant a long time like a long time !” Her throat closed up, the realisation of what he had done finally sinking in. It would mean…

Her eyes teared up. How could she cry? She was not a crier. Not even in Lion King or Fault in Our Stars.

“I did.”

“And now what? Dating me but then not anything more. So I waste my years with you and then one day when you say no, no marrying Ava, I go looking for another Samarth who can marry?”

She didn’t know half of what she was saying. She couldn’t hear half of what she was saying because that’s how she was crying in words. Half-stuttering words.

“No,” he said.

Hope resurfaced. “Then what?”

“We stop dating right now.”

“You’re breaking up with me?”

“You can break up with me and make me the bad guy.”

“Fuck you!”

His eyes lowered.

“Fuck you!” She knocked his chest with both her hands. “Fuck, fuck, fuck you! Go to hell! Crazy, crazy,” she began to cry with tears and all, “Cra… fuck you, Samarth! You can’t do this! You are destroying your life and mine…”

He pressed her face into his chest. She cried there. She circled her arms around his waist and cried harder. He squeezed her in.

“Don’t do this please…” she sobbed. “Please, Samarth. Please.”

“If not right now then in some months or a year we will have to, Ava. This is better.”

“I can’t sit in the same class as you and not talk to you.”

“I’ll transfer to another class for our last year.”

“No!” She pulled back, opening her eyes and seeing nothing but blur. Her watery eyes wouldn’t clear up, try as she might rubbing them. Samarth did not make an effort to help her either.

“Last few months for this term. Next year I will request a transfer to another division.”

He was so matter-of-fact. So unaffected. Like a changed guy. Did he still love horses? Did he still listen to Krishna songs? Was he still her Samarth?

His unflinching eyes did not relent. He did not say another word. Done. He was truly and genuinely done.

Avantika jerked out of his arms.

“As you wish,” she spat, eyes still blurry.

She reached down, fisted her bag’s strap, threw it over her shoulder, and walked away from him.

For now, she had no thought. Except, a long time was not going to be spent together.

Life was long and this might just be a passing fling at school.

Or not. She wasn’t sure if she would forget this, or the life that could be with Samarth.

She wasn’t sure what was waiting for her ahead. College, masters, career…

Her mind churned with the possibilities of spending her life with so many other things. Avantika scrubbed the back of her hand down her cheek, down her lips, stuttering to a stop. His debt. 2 principal, 2 interest.

She turned. He was gone.

College, masters, career… she tried to repeat to herself, turning and striding down the slope, shoving the feeling of his kisses away from her mouth.

There were endless possibilities of spending her life with so many other things…

except, another person. She couldn’t think about another guy.

Because anything worthwhile with anybody other than the boy she was leaving behind seemed worthless.

That much she was sure about at 15.