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Samarth accepted the basket on his free arm and took his girls to the edge of the pier — an empty spot close to an outdoor play area as well as a good view of the sunset. He set Brahmi down and grabbed the blanket, spreading it wide and helping both of them settle.

“Alright,” he rubbed his palms — “Game time. Guess what’s in the basket before I reveal.”

Mini Ava’s nose went straight to the top of the basket and he tipped her forehead back with his finger — “Cheater.”

She pushed back with her forehead on his finger, surprisingly strong for her age, and took a deep whiff. He glanced at Ava with wide eyes and she looked downright proud, even a little smug.

“Sev,” her nose crinkled. “You cheater, Sam!”

He rolled his eyes. Then thought this was a lost game if he gave her more guessing chances. So he conceded defeat and threw open the basket. Parmeshwar had packed the food meticulously, just as he had ordered.

“You like sweet and savoury together, right?” He opened a foiled box to a bed of piping hot jalebis. Then another to freshly fried fafdas. Brahmi’s eyebrows shot to the top of her head.

“Jalebi,” he picked one in his fingers and took a bite. Then set it down, reached for a slice of fafda and bit into it — “Fafda.”

Her lips rounded in a closed O this time.

“You wanna try?”

She shook her head.

“It’s like eclairs and fries. I tasted it. Won’t you?”

She opened her mouth and he held the jalebi out to her — “Small bite.”

Her face split into a naughty grin and she bit off a massive chunk, giggling. He popped the rest of it into his own mouth and held out the fafda to her. She scoffed, shaking her head.

“Try it, you’ll like it.”

Her nose twisted.

“Try it before your jalebi is gone. There’s the magic.”

As if that word had got to her, Brahmi opened her mouth and bit into the crunchy fafda. At first her mouth opened as if she would spit it out but then it snapped shut. She chewed. Chewed, chewed, chewed, then swallowed.

“How was it?”

She grabbed a piece of fafda and began nibbling on it.

Then reached for a jalebi, broke a small stick and popped it into her mouth.

That was his answer right there. Samarth was so proud that his body felt light as air.

He glanced at Ava. And the sun was setting on her face.

Her smiling face. Her soft, watery, smiling face.

He offered her a jalebi. She took it, biting into it. Trying his luck, he pushed a piece of fafda her way. She scowled. He laughed, reaching inside the basket and opening a jar of rabdi. She took it, dipping her jalebi into the sweetened cream.

“What else do you have there? Or is it all dessert?”

“Oh no, I am feeding two very special ladies. I had to start with something sweet. For the main course we have thepla, white dhokla, bataka nu sukku shaak, masala khichdi, dahi,” he set up the containers.

“And to end the meal we have,” he pulled out a bunch of green grapes and a waist chain.

A burst of laughter rattled Ava. Brahmi stared bewildered as her mother fell to the ground wheezing.

“Why is Mama laughing?”

“I told her a joke.”

“What joke?”

“There was once an elephant and an ant…”

————————————————————

“Look at me go reverse!” Brahmi called out, running up the slide the wrong way.

Samarth waved at her, his body turned so that he could keep an eye on her playing as well as sit next to Ava and let her enjoy the sunset.

After an initial few minutes of being alert to keep a watch on Brahmi, she had relaxed and turned her eyes to the sun on the horizon beyond the river.

“I thought she would crash the moment she had eaten,” he observed.

“She is wired differently. Lunch makes her sleepy, dinner makes her energetic.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you manage it all?”

“I manage.”

Samarth eyed her from the corner of his eyes — “How did you do it?”

She blinked, a smile stretching across her lips. The sun was leaving sparkles on the edges of her eyelashes and eyebrows, lighting up wisps of her hair. She was so beautiful. Between her and Brahmi, he was scared his heart rate would always remain low.

“When I discovered it, I thought you would be onboard.”

“If I had known…”

“No. No point in rehashing it. Maybe you would have been onboard…”

“I would definitely have been onboard. Please, Ava, you know me.”

“What would have happened to your Nawanagar then?” She scoffed. “And I wouldn’t want you to leave your home with me just because you had a baby to fend for.”

“That wouldn’t have been true.”

“What would have happened, Samarth?” She finally glanced at him.

“I don’t know. How can I build what-ifs now? But I can say this with full authority that I wouldn’t have let you go or do this alone.”

“Pity is not what I was ever looking for.”

“Pity is not what it would have been.”

She took a deep breath, beginning to take her gaze away from him.

“How did you manage to do this alone? Didn’t your parents force you to give them the name of the father?”

“Oh,” she laughed. “That’s an era we like to keep locked in a closet. All of us.”

“Which era?”

“My second-trimester era.”

“What happened in that era?”

“Chaos, fights, emotional blackmail, rants, victim cards pulled. I was in Paris and Mummy and Papa wouldn’t listen. Of course, now I understand why they kept hammering me to give them a name.” She looked at Brahmi swinging, tapping her hand with another little girl on the swing next to hers.

“What was your answer?”

“That he was a passing friend. I don’t know him. They asked what nationality and I said Indian. But I don’t have any contact details and even if I did I do not want to contact him.”

“Why?”

“He is not father material.”

“Your father also broke off from your Kaka around that time, isn’t it? We weren’t close with Gwalior but the news was there. It was shown to be mutual.”

“We kept the news of my pregnancy from Kaka Maharaj until the seventh month. When Papa broke it, he was torn between rage and sympathy. He called me once, first scolded me, then asked me if I was ok. Then Papa and he had many meetings about the future of Papa’s family in Gwalior.

Vikram Dada would become the next king, it was time to divide the assets for Papa.

We got a few businesses, Papa and Mummy moved out to Delhi, and their life has been shuttling between Delhi, Dubai where Kresha and Gopi live, and here. ”

“Your Kaka Maharaj adored you…”

She shrugged — “There is a difference between adoring and loving. I had a reputation that I would carry after my delivery. There was no way he could defend that. And even if he wanted to, we later got to know that Kaki Maharaj had convinced him that distancing from us would be in their best interest. That’s the first time I understood a little bit of your whacko stepmother’s perspective, you know?

” Ava’s head cocked until it was lying on her shoulder.

“She was insecure about her son’s future.

Of course, you are not the kind of man to do something like this.

But after all these years I see that mishaps in a family have a way of creating cracks, or deepening the ones that were already there but you failed to see them in happier times.

As teenagers with happy households. all you see is the good, isn’t it?

Heated swimming pool built for you, crates of jewellery bought only for you, your favourite snack ready when you come home from school…

when problems begin to crop up, you start seeing the realities in something you knew as an indomitable family.

I was right about a lot of things about your whacko Maarani but also wrong about a few. ”

“Hey,” Samarth pushed his face closer to her. “That is whacko Rajmata for you now.”

Ava chuckled, the sound not as sweet as it used to be.

“How was your delivery?”

“Smooth,” she smiled. “She wouldn’t come out for days after my due date and then finally just popped out in an hour of labour. Mummy was with me, Kresha too. Papa and Gopi were outside. I had prepped myself for the horrors of hours of labour. But she just appeared. Like a flood of miracle.”

“What was she like when she was born?”

“Noisy. For the first two years of her life, her sobs were like sirens. The day she was born was a rare hot October day in Paris. I remember Gopi commenting that anybody would be crying coming to a world as hot as this one.”

Samarth laughed, feeling his eyes prick. It was as if he was right there with her that day, asking Gopi to shut up because his daughter was supposed to be born on the hottest day so that she could bring the balm to the world.

“You named her Brahmi.”

“The power of creation.”

“Vishnu sustains the world and needs wealth and resources to run it. Laxmi. Shiv recycles the world and needs the energy to destroy it. Kali. Brahma generates the world and needs knowledge, the power to create. Saraswati,” he recited the lesson they had heard with rapt attention in Saraswati Crest.

“And she looked like a Brahmi to me.”

Samarth smiled, glancing at her — “She still does. And I have a feeling she will look more and more like one as she grows up.”

Ava went quiet then. They sat silently, seeing the sun soften and the sky turn from blue to a burnished orange.

“You never thought of… another man? Finding somebody?”

“I don’t think you have practise in single-parenthood.”

He chuckled — “It looks like I don’t.”

“As I guessed.”

“So there is no one?”

“I have known a few to have interest.”

“Delacour.”

“Who?”

“Vince.”

“I have a business to run, a child to raise and a house to maintain. My mental energy is on an all-time low on an hourly basis, recharged only with Brahmi. So your answer is — no.”

“Are you ok? Financially, I mean?”

“Yes. We are ok. But I have to think about building something for her. Papa’s assets will be eventually passed down to Kresha and me, but right now, today, I am raising my daughter. I do not want help. I chose this life long back.”

“Your business is in design?”

“Digital luxe brand design. I help luxury businesses take off, design-wise. Clothing, fashion, homeware, jewellery, wedding couture… the lot. It’s niche and highly tailored.”

“And you work from home?”

“Mostly. If I have to travel, very rarely, Mummy or Kresha fly over and stay with Brahmi. It hasn’t been too much travelling lately so I’m good.”

“Thank you.”

Her eyes came to his — “For what?”

“For telling me this.”

“You asked.”

“You weren’t obligated to answer.”

She nodded.

“Now when am I wearing this waist chain and giving you a show?”

Ava chuckled again, plucking a grape from the bunch and popping it into her mouth. “Rawal dancing on a Parisian bank. Nawanagar would be flooded with reels in the next hour.”

“You’ve made me dance to Punjabi tappe. You can make me do anything.”

“Apparently not anything .”

He sighed.

“This will always remain between us, isn’t it?”

“I am not sure if there is any us, Samarth.”

“What do you mean?”

“As I said. I am exhausted on an hourly basis. I don’t have the time to think.

Anything. Not about myself, not about us.

And frankly, I am at that place in my life when I am done with romance and these dreamy little things.

Let’s grow up. You don’t have to be with me to be Brahmi’s father.

You can rule your Nawanagar and visit her like you used to visit me.

That way you won’t have to leave your family… ”

“Stop right there.”

Her mouth snapped shut.

“Here is my family,” he pointed behind his shoulder and then to her.

“My first family. And I do not want to be with you to be Brahmi’s Papa.

I want to be with you because that’s my first desire in life.

Always was. I never acted on it but it was my first waking thought.

My only solace. I have been with you since I was in Standard 7th. ”

He grabbed his phone, pulled open his morning playlist, plucked his AirPods and offered her one. She took it warily, pushing it into her ear. He showed her his playlist.

MORNING

He pointed to the first song on the list. She frowned, tapping it with her index finger.

Nayan ne bandh raakhi ne mein jyare tamne joya chhe, tame chho ena karta pan vadhare tamne joya chhe…

Rutue ekaj hati pan hun rang noto aapno ekaj, mane sehra e joyo chhe bahar e tamne joya chhe, tame chho ena karta pan vadhare tamne joya chhe.

“When I see you with my eyes closed, I see a you that is a whole lot more than you…” he translated.

“Seasons were the same and yet they didn’t change for me.

An autumn touched me and never left, while the eternity of spring has stayed with you.

” Samarth’s eyes strayed to their daughter squealing, hanging from monkey bar to monkey bar.

The song trailed to an end and his usual Krishna bhajan picked up — the second song on his daily list.

“Shri Krishna Govind Hare Murari…”

Samarth began to lower the volume but her hand stalled him. He let go. She crossed her legs and the old song thumped between their ears. He kept one eye and one ear out for Brahmi while living out his best youth with Ava again.