Page 109

— AVANTIKA —

A thump made her sit up. Avantika squinted, glancing at the time. Brahmi slept quietly by her side, one arm thrown over her head, another on her chest. Another thump echoed.

Sa-marth! She hissed in her head, pushing out of her bed and marching to the balcony. She opened the shutters just as he got to his feet, dusting his hands — “Hi…”

“Keep it down, Brahmi is sleeping!” She whispered, pulling the shutter closed behind her.

“Kon chhe?” A guard’s torch beamed up and Samarth pulled her down to the floor by her arm.

They crouched there, quiet, following the guard with his torch as he went down the garden.

Her breaths came heavy. Her heart panicky.

This man would singlehandedly make her the Queen of Hide and Seek before their wedding.

“Hi,” he grinned at her, the torch beam now long gone. She pushed at his chest, making him laugh and stumble back. He sat with his back to the balcony railing, legs bent up in front of him.

“You don’t pick up my phone and then you come sneaking in at midnight?”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her down beside him. She nudged his shoulder with hers, making him tumble out. He pushed back, making her tumble down. She went again and he circled her in his arm — “Ok, enough. I am here for serious talk.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“I just know.”

“Harsh.”

She shrugged.

“You are already spreading your spy network in my palace, Raje?”

“Come to the point. Your daughter will wake up.”

“Why is she sleeping here?”

“Because Aniket got into her head that after we are married she won’t be able to sleep in our room. Mummy-Daddy room is separate and children’s room is separate.”

“But she has had her room for years, right?”

“Yeah, but now she is feeling a little left out if my attention is divided between you two.”

“Listen, I don’t care about that separate room shit. She will sleep with us.”

“No adult time then.”

“We’ll find a way. At least in the initial few months, let her get used to the palace…”

“The palace?”

Samarth sighed.

“Don’t think I have already made the decision or anything. It just slipped out. So, today in court…”

“Rajmata twisted your arm to stay back and declared Brahmi as her heir,” Avantika summarised. “I know. I don’t like that Brahmi was pulled into this without my consent but what a woman! Your father couldn't get to you and she did.”

A part of Avantika was proud of Rajmata and a little in awe of her. She was also happy to finally believe that the one family member she had always considered Samarth’s enemy had actually turned out to be his greatest ally.

“Yes, that happened and frankly I did not like it either. I went ballistic on her.”

“You?” Her eyebrows shot up. “Ballistic?”

He looked sheepish. “I was out of my mind with rage. I have never been so angry. She came to my court and basically dismantled my weapon and gave it back in my hand without making it known to anybody.” He laughed. “If I wasn’t on the receiving end of it I would have cheered her on.”

“So, now what?”

“She said something last night…”

“That you are paying debts you think you owe to the world? You are.”

He gaped at her.

“I knew it but could never put words to it. But, Samarth, you have been pleasing people and being good all your life not just because you are good but because you think they will leave you if you don’t.

You have been going around sacrificing all of yourself because you have been led to believe, by actions of your mother, or twists of fate, or time, or circumstance maybe that…

you are responsible for the people around you.

For everything you ever touch. You are not. Let it go now. Let it flow.”

His mouth opened, then closed. He rolled his eyes — “Why am I surprised? You know me in and out. Of course you were going to repeat what my parents lectured me this afternoon.”

“Glad to know I am now wise and great.”

His head dropped back, eyes smiling at her — “You are. The greatest.”

She shrugged, always ready to take a compliment.

“That,” he took her hand in his, “brings me to my question to you.”

Avantika glanced up at him, her half-bare bum chilling on the cold of the floor. A shiver ran up her tingly skin.

“Ava…”

“Quick, my bum is cold…”

He laughed and pulled her atop his lap. She threw her legs to the side, snaking an arm around his neck.

“Avantika,” his voice went all formal, that name falling from his mouth after ages. Maybe after that first time he had called her that as his surprise/ shock bench partner.

“Will you be my Maarani?”

She stilled. She had expected him to ask her to stay back for some more time.

“Hmm?” His throat hummed, his hand caressing the knuckles of her hand. She shook her head.

“Are you crazy?!”

He gazed at her serenely, as if she hadn’t flipped out.

“I thought you had a nice family moment and convinced them that we are going…”

“I can go with you. I will go with you if that’s what you want. But there is another option too here.”

Her tongue was tied. Life in Nawanagar? In his palace no less? As his…

“I can’t do it.”

“Why?”

“Why? Oh my god! It’s been ages since I left my palace… and even though I know how to behave like a princess, a queen is a different ballgame. My Kaki Maharaj is the only queen I ever saw and you know my thoughts about her.”

“See Rajmata then…” he offered. “I mean, if you don’t see her as a… what do you call her? Whacko, anymore…”

She puffed her cheeks up.

“How can I decide like this?!”

“I know. I also know it is hypocritical of me to ask you to think of staying back when all our lives I have only ever talked about leaving. You would think I am fickle-minded…”

“No,” her panicked breaths calmed. Her palm rubbed circles over his chest. “No, Samarth. I don’t think that. I think you have the most steadfast mind of all men I have seen. And your Rajmata has done a really good job of changing it finally. I…” she sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is there any part of you that wants to live in India again?”

“It’s not about living in India. I love India and everything about it. If I had a choice, I would never leave it in the first place…”

“Is it my family?”

She shook her head.

“Papa believes his cricket stadium is enough to make you stay.”

A reluctant chuckle left her mouth.

“Is it life in the palace then?”

“I don’t know. I never imagined becoming a queen, forget remaining a princess…”

“Is it public life that concerns you?”

“No. I have lived under public scrutiny for the first 25 years years of my life.”

“What are you scared of?”

“I don’t know! That’s the problem. It’s jitters… to think… Maarani?” She questioned herself more than him. “That’s responsibility, Samarth. That’s… a job forever. Like being Brahmi’s Mama. It’s…”

“Thinking about something bigger than just your own family,” he supplied helpfully.

“Yes. Exactly. I don’t know how to do that. All I have done in the palace of Gwalior is enjoy my life! Never looked around… never taken care of things, or people, or… you get the gist, right?”

“I do.”

“Then that’s it. Yes,” she realised after ranting it aloud. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Even when I am by your side?”

“Don’t change the topic now.”

“I am not,” he was serious. “I mean it. Even if I promise to not leave your side in this? Even if I make it my life’s mission to make every strength of yours greater and hide any weakness that ever pops up?

We have been partners once on a bench and done a lot of stuff together.

We can be that again, only this time, we will sit on a throne together. ”

“I am not Brahmi, don’t mollify me like that.”

“You are Brahmi’s Mama and here’s where she gets all her bravery from. You raised a girl like that alone. You can raise a kingdom to the future with me.”

A gust of wind touched her back and pulled goosebumps with it. She blinked, unable to process what was going on inside her.

“Ava, I am happy staying, I am happy going — as long as it is with you. All I want you to know is that we’ll manage. Whatever comes, you and I.”

“You want to stay though?”

“I want to be with you.”

She wet her drying lips, unable to look away from his eyes. She could read there, plain as day — he wanted to stay. His family had finally fallen into place.

“Ava?”

“Hmm?”

“So?”

“So?”

“Will you be my Maarani? Mind you, if you say no, I will ask the same question again with a different title.”

“What title?”

“My wife,” he smirked — that Samarth from Saraswati Crest smirk.

She broke into silent tears. Her face began to screw up.

“I don’t know…”

“Spell it for me.”

“Samarth, please…” tears kept flowing down her cheeks.

“Spell your answer for me, Raje.”

“Y for Yak,” she spat, the words automatic. “E for elephant…” something cool slipped up her finger. She glanced down. A brilliant round amethyst was shining on her ring finger. She stopped.

“This…”

“We created the most perfect purple-loving creature,” he croaked. “Befitting that you like pink and I like blue, huh?”

“Samarth!” She sobbed and her head went into the crook of his neck.

He wrapped her inside himself — tight, warm, perfectly safe.

She had never lived in a sense of insecurity physically in her life but now, here, with him wrapped so tight and the decisions of their future falling into place, she felt like a cloud of certainty had finally rained on her.

She hiccupped in his arms, pulling his head down to steal a kiss.

He raised her one and pushed his hand into her hair, turning her to straddle his lap.

“Oooh,” she gasped, landing down where she needed him the most. “We can’t.”

“Says who?”

“We’re getting married in three days.”

“This is practise then,” he pumped her up, making her head fall back.

“Mama!” Brahmi’s call sounded from inside.

“Shit!” She pushed to her feet. He followed suit. They panic-rushed inside, only to find their daughter in the middle of the bed, eyes closed, murmuring unintelligible things.

“…and two sticks…” she mumbled. “One jalebi and one fafda… Chloe is running…”

They burst into a quiet, relieved laugh. Her eyes popped open. Samarth went to dash but she called out to him.

“Papa?”

Avantika sputtered.

“Yes, baby,” he turned from the edge of the balcony, glaring at her as he padded to the bed and kissed Brahmi’s head. “Sleep. It’s night.”

“Why did you come?”

“To say goodnight to you.”

“Mmm…” she closed her eyes, her lips stretching into a smile. “Bonne nuit…”

“Jai Dwarkadish,” he murmured, on a mission to teach her the greetings of Nawanagar. “Jai Dwakadeesh.” She botched it up, then promptly went mumbling back to sleep. Avantika bit her lip to hold her laughter as Samarth got up to leave.

“Don’t laugh,” he warned. She bobbed her head.

“And make sure she doesn’t tell anybody I came.”

“Mmm hmmm…” she sputtered as he walked out to the balcony, jumped over the parapet and climbed back down to go back to his palace.