Page 57 of A Heart On A Sleeve

thirty-four

Sam

A Baby and a Little Magic

“How much longer do you think it’s going to be?” Bridget asks, standing to pace the waiting room for the millionth time.

“I have no clue. I think it can take a while when it’s the first one.” I shrug and sit back in the pleather torture device otherwise known as a hospital chair.

“Are we planning to just camp out here forever, or is there a cutoff to this?” Max asks, yawning into his fist.

“We’ve been here all night and all day. You really want to tap out when we have to be getting close?” I ask, looking at him like he’s lost it.

I didn’t ask either of my siblings to sit here with me, but they insisted.

Max because he said he didn’t want me getting emotional and calling Olive without sleeping on it, and Bridget because she said she cares about Xavier as much as I do—that one’s a lie, but she does look at him like a big brother.

Either way, at least I’m not waiting alone.

Sitting here going on twenty-four hours has given me time to think.

I understand why Olive was scared, but I am pretty disappointed that after everything she still wasn’t honest with me.

I told her how much honesty meant to me, yet she was too afraid to admit that she felt like I was using her tattoo, to admit that she felt vulnerable and manipulated until the very end.

Max and I talked briefly about what Howie said. It does make sense, but it still hurts. I love her so much, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t hurt me. It doesn’t give her a free pass on not believing in me.

The doors whoosh open into the lobby and out walks Xavier with a big grin on his face, pulling me out of my thoughts. He looks happy and tired, and I’m relieved.

“It’s a girl!” he shouts gleefully.

“Oh my gosh, yes. I bet she’s perfect,” Bridget gushes, running up to give him a hug.

“She weighs nine pounds, eleven ounces and has a full head of hair.”

“That’s a toddler. No wonder it took so long,” Max huffs before chuckling to himself.

“How’s mom doing?” I ask, pulling my best friend into a tight squeeze.

“She’s good, man, so tough. You holding up okay?” Xavier asks, gripping my biceps and looking deep into my eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll be alright.” He knows about what happened with Olive. I talk to my best friend every day.

“Give her another chance if she asks for it, okay? Promise me,” Xav says sternly.

“I don’t know if that’ll happen, but okay,” I respond hesitantly, questioning why he would say such a thing when all he should be thinking about is the newborn baby and wife he has to take care of.

“I think it will be before you know it. Just trust me. Now, do you want to meet your niece?” He slaps me on the shoulder and leads us back to the room where Cami is lying in bed, holding a beautiful bundle of joy.

I never was sure I wanted to be a dad, but the moment I lay eyes on this little girl, she looks right at me and my heart melts. I love her, and I’ll do anything she asks for the rest of my life. The thought makes me laugh out loud.

“Why are you laughing at my daughter, Samuel?” Cami asks, a sternness to her brows.

“Oh, I’m not. I’m laughing because Xav and I are so screwed. She’s going to get asked on so many dates, and I’m going to want to chase them all away,” I explain.

“Nope, she’s not allowed to date, ever. She is going to live with her mother and me until she’s at least forty and then there’s the convent.

” Xav says it like he’s serious, but I can tell by the goofy grin on his face that all it will take is one little smile from her and he will jump to make her dreams come true.

“What’s her name?” Bridget asks.

Xav and Cami exchange a look, before turning to me with cheesy grins.

“Well, we are pretty sure we have one picked out, but we want to run it by you first,” Xav says, coming around the bed to stand next to me and slinging an arm around my shoulders.

“We would like to name her Samantha. Sammy for short,” Cami announces.

It feels like the ground beneath my feet quakes, my knees are weak. Tears stream down my face as I quickly cover it with both hands. I’ve had a shit week. I’ve been at my lowest emotionally, but this reminds me that I’m never alone. I have a found family in addition to my actual one.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” I choke out. “Give me my baby, Cami,” I demand, holding my hands out to grab the cutest little bundle I’ve ever seen.

“Wait, you’re serious? Why him?” Bridget asks, smirking at the scoff that rips from my lips.

“Very funny, clearly they want her to be cool like her uncle,” I spit out, heading to a chair to sit and rock Sammy.

“Should have gone with Maxine if that’s the case,” Max throws in.

“We chose you because you’re the best friend a guy could ask for.

When I was hanging on by a thread after the accident, you never left my side.

You’re my brother, and I hope she grows up to have your generosity, your kindness, and your huge-ass heart,” Xav explains.

There isn’t a dry eye in the place when I pry my stare off the baby and look around.

“Speaking of his heart, are you going to show him?” Cami asks, picking up Xav’s phone from the side table and shaking it back and forth.

“Show me what?”

“So, remember how I said that Olive was going to come around a lot sooner than you thought? Well, she spent the day with Mabel, and I got this message about ten minutes after the baby was born,” Xav says, pulling up a picture and showing me.

It’s a note, handwritten and held open by my mother’s hand.

There’s a message from Olive saying she is sorry and wants to talk.

Below that is another message from my mom that reads, Go get my daughter-in-law back or you’re out of the family , with a heart next to it.

I laugh, a deep, rolling belly laugh that startles Sammy and causes Xav to lift her from my arms.

“Wait, is it funny?” Bridget asks, clearly confused.

“Your mom is funny,” Cami confirms as Xav hands her the phone to look at the picture. Max shakes his head and starts laughing right along with me when he gets a glimpse.

“What are you waiting on?” Cami asks.

“I, uh, yeah. I don’t know . . . I’m gonna go.”

I stand and head for the door, stopping only to briefly admire my namesake once more before waltzing out the door.

“Bring her with you when you come back tomorrow,” Xav bellows after me.

I hit the elevator button approximately twelve times as the anxiety of waiting to hear what Olive has to say eats a hole through my brain. I’m in love with her, hopelessly and irrevocably. Am I upset by what she did, or rather, how she did it? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with her.

Once I’m on the first floor, I all but sprint to my truck and slide in, firing it up and speeding out of the parking lot.

The trip to Olive’s is less than ten minutes, but I don’t know how long she spent at my parents’ or when she was expecting me.

The sun has set. I glance at the clock on my dashboard, noting it’s just after eight.

I turn onto her street and am floored with the sight coming into view.

It’s like the very first time I saw her at home, when I delivered the Reuben after watching her leave Union hungry.

She’s swaying slightly on the swing, her strawberry blonde hair almost twinkling in the light that hangs above her porch.

I pull up to the curb and park, shutting off the truck.

Before I get out, I take a deep breath. I know what the letter said, but I don’t know what to expect her to say.

She could want to talk, to resolve things—but there’s a lot of hurt too.

I’m hurt. Mustering my courage, I slide from my seat and approach.

As my feet hit the first step of the porch, Olive and I make eye contact.

She blows out what sounds like a relieved sigh and says, “Thank you for coming.”

“Well, to be fair, no one says no to Mabel . . . But of course, I came.” I attempt to throw a little humor into the mix.

The tension between us is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and deep inside I think she needs a moment of relief as much as I do.

Taking her in as I cross the remaining distance, I notice her eyes are sunken like she hasn’t slept well and her nose is a little pink like she’s been crying.

“I-I’m so sorry, Sam. I was so stupid and scared, and everything was so chaotic. It wasn’t your fault. You did everything right, and I hurt you. I didn’t know if you were coming, and I just, I don’t know what I’m doing,” she says, her words barely audible as they float across the night air.

I slide next to her on the swing, wrapping her in a hug and kissing her forehead. “Hey, it’s okay. I didn’t make you feel safe, I made mistakes too,” I say, leaning back a tad so I can look into her eyes. “I told you I’d love you forever and I meant it . . .”

“But I hurt you. I didn’t trust in us, believe in what we had,” Olive finishes the statement I was going to make. She shivers a little, her bottom lip quivering from the cold night air.

“Let’s go inside. I want to talk about this, but I can’t focus when you’re freezing and I’m worried about it.” It’s true, we have shit to work through. Shit that won’t get accomplished if I’m stressed over her body temperature.

We stand, making our way indoors, and Olive and I settle into the couch, her crisscross applesauce in the middle, facing me, as I sit on the end and look toward the fireplace. In the silence, it feels like minutes pass, although I’m sure it’s merely seconds.

“Sam, you did make me feel safe. I’m sorry that I made you feel otherwise. It’s just that my entire life I’ve been told—”

“Stop, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable sharing.”

“Yes, I do. I want to. When I was growing up, I was never good enough. I tried so hard to meet expectations, but no matter what I did, there was always room for improvement. Growing up that way made me afraid to let anyone in. I always thought that if I did, they would see me and realize that I wasn’t what they wanted.

When I went with Irina that first time, I told her I wanted to wear my heart on my sleeve.

She did exactly what I asked, but then I freaked out.

All these doubts and insecurities crept in on top of me already feeling crazy out of control from what was happening physically,” she says, looking at me tentatively.

“I understand that, I do. I can’t imagine how you must have felt, still feel, having grown up like that. But I don’t understand why you thought you couldn’t talk to me, or why you thought I was using it to my advantage.”

“I guess it was that first night, when you were gauging my reactions in your bedroom. I loved it, but it also made me wonder, is this just a fun game? Is he only into me because I’m easy to read, literally?

And I know now that’s not the case, that it was my insecurity, but that’s how I felt .

. . and each time I noticed you glancing at my arm, the fear festered until it consumed me and I couldn’t see anything else. ”

I take a deep breath. I understand what she’s saying, but it still hurts. I wish she would have just asked me.

“How do you feel now?”

“Well, I had a long talk with my mom, and I realized that I was never the problem. Not that I’m perfect, but she took her insecurities out on me.

And then I talked to your mom and realized that everything I felt in my heart about you all along was true.

You are kind, generous, caring. You make me laugh insanely hard and can sass me right back when I get testy.

You are the most talented man and work hard for everything you have.

Basically, when I close my eyes at night, you are everything I’ve ever dreamed of having in a partner.

I love you, like truly madly deeply. I’m hopelessly enamored with you. ”

My heart melts. She loves me. I grab her by the waist and hoist her into my lap, nuzzling my nose into her hair and inhaling my favorite strawberry scent.

“I love you too. More than you will ever know, in this life and the next. But I need you to promise me something.” I sit back so I can look into her eyes, grinning a little at how adorable she is.

“Anything, I’ll promise anything,” she rattles out.

“Oh, really?” I wink at her.

“Okay, maybe not anything, but most things,” she relents.

“Promise that if we do this, you’ll be in it for the long haul. I can’t handle losing you again. And promise that whenever you feel unsure, you’ll come to me and let me remind you that I’m never leaving,” I say, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

“I promise I will never leave. I promise I’ll always tell you how I’m feeling.

I will wear my heart on my sleeve for you.

I promise to cherish the little moments, the mundane and seemingly meaningless times that come and go without even making a blip.

I promise I’m going to make you meet my parents and marry me.

I promise I’m going to have your adorable little babies, and I’m going to spend every Sunday baking with your mom.

I promise that I will love you forever, in this life and the next. ”

I lean forward pulling her into a kiss. It’s soft and tentative at first, but she swipes her tongue across the seam of my lips and it quickly turns passionate. We are exploring each other thoroughly when Olive breaks away from me, heaving air.

“Sam, I, oh my God. My arm, it burns,” she says, rubbing at it fiercely.

I grab her arm to inspect it, but in the blink of an eye, it transforms. Where minutes ago there was nothing, now there is a beautiful road map.

At the top of her arm there’s a small heart, then a pile of books with BKB written on the top, a sign that reads Flashing Ahead, and Boo the ghost surrounded by pumpkins.

“Olive, I think it’s . . .”

“It’s our love story,” she confirms.

Below Boo, there is a tiny movie screen with Practical Magic etched on it, a replica of my cabin, and a pumpkin muffin.

The whole thing is pieced together with pumpkin vines that twist and tangle effortlessly.

And finally at her wrist, written in script, it says, She wore her heart on her sleeve, and they lived happily ever after.