Page 46 of A Heart On A Sleeve

“Listen, it was just a saying, a nice gesture. I hate that we had an amazing night and now you are sitting here feeling scared. I know this may seem like it’s all going really fast and that I’m coming on too strong, but I’m not the kind of guy who keeps secrets or lies about things.

From the moment I saw you, it was like a veil was lifted, and I could suddenly see the world in full color.

You are sweet and kind. Funny as hell and tough as nails.

I’ve never had much luck in relationships before, and I always thought that meant something was wrong with me.

But I realize now that it was because I hadn’t met you.

I don’t expect you to reciprocate this, at least not right now, but I do need to tell you that I’m falling in love with you.

The kind of love I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from.

And that scares me, too, so all I ask is that if you decide you don’t want that or can’t get there with me at some point, please let me down quickly.

” I don’t stick around for a response, knowing she will need time to process what I said and that she isn’t ready to say it back.

Instead, I stand, push in my chair, and head to the shower to prepare for my day.

When I come out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later, Olive has cleaned the kitchen and is waiting with her bag on the couch. I quickly put my socks and shoes on, check that everything is turned off, and grab my bag to head out the door.

“Ready, Freddie?” I say, grabbing the handle of her bag to take it from her.

“Yeah. Sam, you don’t have to do that,” she says, resisting my pull on her bag.

“I want to,” I say, peering in her eyes.

She places a hand on my arm, effectively stopping me from walking any further.

I turn to look at her, but before I can register what she’s doing, she kisses me.

It’s not an everyday, regular kind of kiss.

There’s emotion in it. All the things I believe she wants to say and feel are infused in this simple touch of our lips.

It’s life-changing and yet, there’s a sinking feeling in my gut that we’re at a crossroads and she’s about to choose the wrong path.

After breaking apart, we walk to my truck in silence, and we ride to Mage Hollow in silence.

We are in so much silence it’s deafening.

I want to throw up, to scream, to cry, to fight for her to stay in this with me.

But I can’t do any of that because, even if she doesn’t believe it, I know her.

She needs to retreat inward and process everything before she can deal with this head-on.

I’m willing to wait and give her that space. What choice do I have otherwise?

I pull into my parking spot behind Eerie and turn off the ignition. Placing my hand on the door handle, I start to pull it when she finally speaks.

“Sam, wait.”

I spin to face her.

“I-I can’t say it. I can’t tell you that I love you or that I’m falling in love with you. But it’s not that I don’t want to. I want to be where you are and to be sure. You’re amazing in every way, and you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Please be patient with me.”

I smile at her, the biggest smile I may have ever delivered in my life. My heart feels renewed. Even if there’s a slim chance, I’m willing to go for it.

“I would wait forever, Olivia.” I lean forward and pull her into a hug before pressing a kiss to her temple. Her shoulders shake with what feels like tears. “Why are you crying?” I ask, lifting her chin so I can look in her eyes.

“I just, I don’t know. I don’t deserve you, but I’m so grateful that you’re in my life.”

I swipe the tears from her cheeks and kiss her gently. “I’m not going anywhere. Well, except to work because Terry is standing at the front door waiting on me.” I wink at her and grin.

“Oh, shoot, I’m sor—”

I press a finger to her lips, stopping her from finishing her apology.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Go have a great day at work, and I’ll call you tonight.

” I hop out of the truck and round the front to open her door.

It warms my soul that she’s finally resigned herself to letting me do it.

I press one more kiss to her lips and watch her walk toward Black Kettle.

She’s the love of my life, there’s no doubt about it. I may have to watch her walk away from me for good at some point, but right now, I’m going to hold on for as long as I possibly can.

“You going to sit and moon over that girl all day, or am I going to get this thing finished up?” Terry interrupts my thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry, boss. I’m coming.” I walk as quickly as I can to the shop door, unlock it, flick the open sign on, and begin setting up my station. Terry browses the wall pieces, then makes his way to me when I’m ready.

“How’ve you been? Looks like things were a little tense with Beau’s beauty earlier,” Terry says, sliding onto the table and taking his shirt off so I can finish adding color to a collection of birds on his chest representing his granddaughters.

“Is that what people are calling her?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. I’m not a fan of the nickname.

“Ah, you know how it is, new girl, works for him and all. Don’t get your panties in a wad,” Terry scolds.

“Yeah. I do know.” I shrug and dip my tattoo gun into a bright blue ink.

“Is it serious?” he asks, wincing a little at the first strike of the needle into his skin.

“I think I’m falling in love with her, but I’m not sure if she’ll ever be in love with me, if that answers the question,” I say, proceeding to fill in the gaps between his bird tattoos.

“The women in this town, I swear to Christ.” He shakes his head.

“What about them?”

“Well, you know, it’s like they’re all infected by that damn witch’s prophecy.

I just had this talk with my granddaughter the other day.

Cynthia won’t settle down with her longtime boyfriend because she doesn’t know how to tell if it’s real love.

She wouldn’t know love if it smacked her in the face, that girl,” Terry huffs, forcing me to put my hand on his chest to hold him steady.

“What prophecy?” I ask, my stomach rioting at the thought of Irina.

“I mean, it’s not actually a prophecy, but legend has it that Irina was in love with one of the judges during the Salem witch trials.

When he wouldn’t commit and run away with her, Irina and her sisters vowed to never again wear their hearts on their sleeves.

It’s not like these women today would be cursed or that any of it is even real, but sometimes I wonder.

Their ability to be so dense is astounding,” Terry explains.

I feel like I might throw up. Is Olive unable to commit to our relationship because Irina put a spell on her?

Did she curse her to wear her heart on her sleeve as a sick joke, one in which Irina would never actually allow Olive to be vulnerable and open to love?

Or is her hesitancy simply because she isn’t sure she’s in love with me specifically?

I’ve never asked her what exactly Irina told her the first time they met, but she was mad at me that night over the kissing booth situation.

I can’t help but wonder if this is suddenly some sort of game.

I think what we have is real, but is it? Does she care for me?

I finish Terry’s tattoo in record time. I’m proud of the piece, and he is pleased with it. I clean him up and wrap him so the tattoo stays protected. After he checks out, I shoot Olive a text.

Hey, can you talk later?

A few minutes go by before my phone dings with a response.

Olive

Sure, everything okay?

I’m not sure. Call me when you get done at work.

I clean up the mess from working on Terry, wipe down my table, and take out the trash.

My feet feel like they weigh a thousand pounds as I approach the large bin.

Why did I have to fall for the one girl who won’t open up?

I mean, the more I think about it, she covered herself all night last night so I couldn’t even get a visual of how she was feeling.

At the time, I thought it didn’t matter, but now, I’m not sure of anything.

Terry was my only scheduled appointment today, but occasionally I’ll get a walk-in or two. I head toward my office at the back of the shop and round the corner. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me,” I shout at Olive, who’s perched in my office chair.

“Sorry, I just, you weren’t out front, and I, uh, well after the text, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Olive’s chewing on her lip, concern evident in her brow.

“Um, yeah. I just wanted to ask you about Irina.” I thought I’d have more time to prepare for this conversation. Although, I guess it’s a good sign she ran right over. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I ask.

“I told Beau I needed to talk to you for a minute. He grumbled but said it was fine. What do you want to know?” She stands from the chair and takes a few steps toward me.

“What did you say to her that night at her shop? Why did she do this to you specifically?” I gesture to her arm. It’s hidden under her shirt, but we both know what I’m referring to.

“Sam, I . . . It’s complicated,” Olive says, reaching to grab my hand.

“What about this isn’t complicated? I told you I needed honesty, and I opened up to you. It sorta feels like you’re still holding back while I’m barreling straight toward heartbreak city.” I pull out of her grasp and walk to my chair, flopping down haphazardly.

“Sam, I have been honest. Irina caught me in a weak moment, and I sorta just blurted out my feelings. It all happened so fast, I don’t know what you want me to say.” Her eyes are filled with tears.

“I want you to tell me that you didn’t ask her to trick me. To make me fall in love with you just so you could break my heart, because it feels like I’ve got a lot on the line here and you’re holding all the cards.” I let out a long, frustrated breath.

Olive rushes over, sitting on my lap and kissing me with everything she has.

When we break apart, she sighs heavily and then says, “No, I did not ask her to make you fall in love with me. I asked her to fix me because I’ve never been able to let go and allow myself to be vulnerable.

After years, my whole life really, of not being enough .

. . I didn’t want to risk the rejection.

It had nothing to do with you at all. I’m sorry that I’m not ready to say that I’m in love with you.

Truly, I want to be brave enough to do that, but I’m not. Not yet anyway.”

“So, this is just something you need to work through, and we are solid?” I ask, a small bit of doubt turning my stomach.

“Yes, we’re good. I promise. I’ve never known anyone like you, and I’ve never felt like this before. There’s just a lot going on in my life right now, and I need time to sort it all out,” she reassures me.

“Okay, thank you for coming here. Thank you for being you and putting everything aside to rush over.” I smile at her tentatively. There’s a pit in my stomach. A part of me can sense she’s simply telling me what I want to hear and not the whole truth of the matter.

“Always, Sam. You’re important to me. Please, if you don’t know anything else, know that.”

Olive kisses me again, a simple, chaste kiss, before standing and leaving to go back to work.

I do feel somewhat better about things. I’ve waited for what feels like a very long time for the right person.

There’s so much she’s still not saying, I can feel it in my bones.

But instead of focusing on that, I’m going to focus on being the man she thinks I am.

The brave one who sticks with her, even if I’m destined to break.