Page 41 of A Heart On A Sleeve

twenty-four

Sam

Chopping Wood and Walls

Gravel crunches under the tires of my truck as I pull into the clearing on my property.

I haven’t been out here since the last time I brought Olive—well, only to pick up the movie screen anyway.

I was thinking of something that she and I could do to get her mind off all of this curse business and it occurred to me that maybe the best way to do that is to get away from the world.

It’s an escape, even if it’s only for a night.

I enlisted some reinforcements to help me get the place ready for an overnight stay; the cabin was not really ready the last time she went in. I want it to shine.

Hopping out and walking over to the edge of the drop-off, I can’t stop thinking about how much it bothers me that she is so determined to get rid of the tattoo.

Not because I need it to see how she’s feeling or because I need to be with someone who shares my love of tattoos, but because she seems to believe that it’s just another way in which she isn’t absolutely perfect.

She’s mentioned a few times that I’m going to wake up one day and realize she’s not the one for me.

I’ve known from the minute I laid eyes on her that she was special, and the more time we spend together, the more I know I’m right.

I can see my future with her so clearly.

It hurts to even think she might not feel the same, or at least not as strongly, as I do.

I’m putting my fears aside, though, because I meant it when I said I would convince her.

She needs time to sort it out, more than the few weeks we’ve been doing this, and I plan to be here while she does.

My sister’s beat-up red Honda pulls into the clearing, bringing me back to reality.

“Hey, I got the stuff you asked for,” Bridget shouts across the clearing after slamming her car door.

I walk from the edge of the drop-off toward her vehicle. “You good? You didn’t have to come if you didn’t want to.” I can tell from her body language she’s keyed up today. Something has her upset, and I don’t need her stomping around here all day.

“I just, shit—I didn’t want to talk about it. I promised myself I was coming to help and I wasn’t going to bring it up,” Bridget rambles, fiddling with the hem of her shirt and staring at the ground.

“What happened, Bridg?”

“I saw Jessa with her new girlfriend. They were picking out bath towels when I was getting the comforter set. I tried to get out of there quickly, but I couldn’t help myself. I crept into the aisle next to theirs and I heard her say . . . she said she loves her.” My sister’s eyes are watery.

“Hey, none of that.” I wipe under her eyes and pull her into a hug. “It’s her loss. She will wake up one day and realize what she’s missing. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but the love of your life is out there waiting for you. I promise.”

“Thanks, Sammy. I know it’s stupid. I don’t even know why I care,” she says, shaking the tension from her shoulders and pushing out of my embrace.

“You care because you have a big heart and you loved her. Sometimes things aren’t meant to last forever, but it doesn’t mean the love you shared was any less real. It just means that you will carry the lessons you learned with you into your next relationship. You’ll be more prepared for the one.”

“Don’t tell anyone I said this, but you’re pretty smart, Sammy.” My sister slugs me in the arm, then pops the trunk of her car and begins unloading the new bedding and decor she picked up for me.

Bridget and I carry the bags to the cabin and place everything inside.

“What are we going for here?” she asks, looking at the freshly cleaned interior.

“Well, I did a deep clean already, but I want it to feel homey. And I’m trying to eradicate Mom and Dad from the vibe,” I respond, bristling a little at the thought of this once being their love shack.

“Okay, I think I have everything I need to manage that. If not, you’ll be going to the store this time.” It’s not like her ex will be there all day long, but I understand the sentiment.

“I’m going to head back out there. Max and Howard should be here shortly to help with the outdoor stuff,” I say, pulling the door handle to leave.

“Sounds good.”

I mosey back to the open space, taking time to pick up sticks on the pathway to ensure it’s clear.

I have big plans for this walkway, and it’s going to take all day to get it done.

Approaching the end, where the trees kiss the open grass, I stop to look back.

I hope my plan works. If it does, it will be magical. And not in the Irina kind of way.

“Where do you want this thing?” Max yells from the driver’s side window of his truck.

He’s pulling in a trailer with a backhoe and enough flagstones to cover the path.

When I see the size of the machinery and rocks, I’m actually impressed he made it into the property with all the bumps.

I had sand delivered earlier today, so we should have everything we need to get this done.

“Just back it up as close as you can,” I yell back as Howie pulls into the clearing and jumps out of his Bronco.

“This is remote. How long have you had this place?” Howie asks, rounding his truck and coming up to stand beside me as we watch Max struggle to turn the truck and trailer around.

“A couple of years. Been coming here my whole life though. We’ve never given it the face lift it needs.” I walk to the truck, holding my hand up, and Max brakes. “Max, just leave it here. We can drive what we need over with the backhoe.”

“Yeah, bro. Have you ever tried to back one of these up? It’s fucking impossible.” He puts the truck in park and hops out. “Hey, Howie, good to see ya,” Max says.

“So, what’s the plan, Sam?” Howie asks, looking around.

“I want to make this an actual walking path. If we use the backhoe to level the ground, we can lay sand, then place the stones. Or at least that’s what YouTube told me.” I lead them to the pathway and point at the cleared area.

“Where do you want the dirt we remove?” Howie inquires thoughtfully. I hadn't thought about that.

“Uh, maybe we just start a pile over there?” I point to a spot in the clearing that isn’t too dense with trees but where the dirt won’t be an eyesore.

“That should work.” Howie nods in agreement, then heads back to the trailer and begins unhooking the chains on the machine.

I asked Howie to help because I’ve seen him operate this kind of equipment before when we all pitched in to renovate the park in Mage Square.

I know he knows what he’s doing, and I definitely don’t.

In a matter of minutes, he’s inside the backhoe and driving toward where the walkway meets the cabin porch while Max and I watch.

“This seems like a lot of work for a date, big brother.” Max slaps me on the shoulder.

“It’s not just for one date. It needed to be done, and now I have an excuse. I plan on her sticking around, and she deserves something nice,” I rattle out. Frankly, I’m glad I finally have a reason to use the place.

“You love her?” Max asks, reaching in the cooler I filled to grab two beers and plopping into a camping chair.

I sit down next to him and take the beer he offers, popping the tab and sucking down the amber liquid. “I think so, yeah.”

“You’re not sure?” he pries.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. She’s the one who’s hesitant.” I take another sip, hoping to wash down the acid that stings my throat when I think about her not being my person.

“Nah, she’s the real deal. She’s just scared,” Max says confidently.

“How do you know what she is?”

“Have you seen the way she looks at you? It’s like you hung the moon for her. It’s kinda gross actually.” Max laughs and shakes his head.

“No, she doesn’t. I mean, our chemistry is off the charts, I know that. But she holds back emotionally. She’s not sure about me,” I push back.

“Who’s not sure about who?” Bridget asks, walking up to where we’re sitting and helping herself to a drink.

“Sam doesn’t think Olive’s that into him. But as someone who knows how scary it is to love something that you have the potential to lose, you just need to give her time,” Max answers her and explains where he’s coming from with his hockey career on the line, all with a smug look on his face.

“You’re kidding, right? The girl looks at you like you literally hung the moon. It’s kind of gross.” Bridget bristles a little, and Max busts out laughing.

“Did you plan that?” I ask.

“Plan what?” Bridget glances between Max and me.

“You literally just said the same thing he did, almost word for word.” I point my beer bottle at her accusingly.

“Nope, it’s just the truth, big brother. Calling it like we see it.” She shrugs.

“Almost all cleared, fellas. We need to bring the sand in. I’ll dump it, and you can spread it,” Howie shouts at us over the rumble of the backhoe.

“Time to work.” Max and I stand, abandoning our drinks and grabbing some rakes and work gloves.

Bridget heads back inside and we work mostly in silence while Howie continues to drop loads of sand on the two-hundred-foot-long path.

We spread it evenly, leveling the sand out between the steel edges we placed.

The project is going a lot quicker than I expected. The three of us working together helps.

When we finish spreading the sand, we check to make sure it’s level before beginning to lay the flagstones. They are heavier than they look, and by the time we’ve managed to lay half of them, we’re all exhausted.

“I know you didn’t have to help do this on a random Wednesday, but I appreciate it. I couldn’t have done any of this without you two,” I say, sitting down on a log that’s lying near the path.

“Not a problem, Sam. Feels good to be doing something other than tapping kegs,” Howie says as he places another stone.