Page 9 of A Forgotten Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #5)

Elsie.

“Nick, what’s the matter? Do you need something?” Her voice was soft from sleep.

He forced a smile. “I’m fine. I need to?—”

What? Go protect her against an enemy he’d only seen in his dream?

“Do what, Nick? We’re in the middle of snowstorm. It’s the middle of the night.”

He turned to face her. His eyes wandered over her perfectly arched brows, her high cheekbones, her greenish-hazel eyes with flecks of blue around the irises.

He settled back against his pillow. “You’re the only woman I ever let boss me around.”

There. He only had a view of her cheek and nose, but he saw the soft smile. It faded too quickly, and the tension flared, growing bigger and bigger as the silence lengthened.

He began to whistle. He probably sounded silly and off-key, but the melody of “O Come, All Ye Faithful” rang out.

“My real pa used to sing that.” Elsie whispered so quietly he almost didn’t hear.

Nick’s tune cut short. “What do you mean your ‘real pa’?”

She grimaced. “It’s late. Let’s go back to sleep.”

He shifted so he could see her better. “What do you mean your ‘real pa’?”

She was silent for so long that he didn’t think she was going to answer, but then she said, “I was raised by adoptive parents. I vaguely remember my real pa singing that when we decorated a tree. That’s all.”

That’s all? “What happened?”

Shouldn’t he know about this? Maybe it was also something he’d forgotten. If so, what else was missing in the fog of his brain?

She fiddled with the blanket, clearly agitated. “It was so long ago. It doesn’t really matter now. I was four when my mom died.” Voice so quiet.

His breath caught in his lungs. “Losing a parent matters, El.” A fact he understood all too well. How could he have forgotten they shared this commonality?

She stared at the ceiling. “I don’t remember her much. More impressions than anything, but I know I loved her very much. And I remember she loved me.”

Nick pictured Elsie as a child. All strawberry-blonde curls and dimples. “How could she not?”

“Not everybody likes me.”

His head pounded harder. “What do you mean?”

She sighed. “The Westons, my adoptive parents—well, they aren’t the first people I stayed with.

After my mom died, my dad was more concerned about running his farm than raising a daughter, so he left me with distant cousins.

The Granbys. He told me he would come back for me.

” She gave an unconvincing shrug. “He never did.”

The image of Elsie as a child, watching through the window for her father to come, stung Nick’s heart.

He closed his hand over hers. This time she didn’t pull away.

“What happened?”

She cringed. “Mrs. Granby resented me from the start. I was only another mouth to feed. She never paid attention to me. I even had to comb my own hair.”

The muscles in Nick’s neck bunched. “A four-year-old combing her own hair?”

“All I wanted was to be noticed. To curl up in her lap as she sang to me. Or something. Anything. But no matter how much I tried, I never met her approval. Not to mention she allowed her sons to pick on me mercilessly.”

“So how did you end up with the Westons?”

She licked her lips. “I was seven. One of the boys said he wanted to play hide-and-seek. I should’ve known he was up to something, but I was so excited that he wanted to play with me.”

He wound his fingers between hers.

“He took me out to a countryside I had never been to, miles from home, and told me to hide and he’d come find me.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “He never came looking.”

For a heart-wrenching moment, a veil fell, and Nick could see the broken little girl in the woman before him. The little girl who only wanted to be a part of a family. To have a brother who really did want to play with her.

But then her expression went blank.

When she spoke again, her voice was matter-of-fact. “Mr. Weston was the one who found me. I’d been lost for hours. I was hungry and scared. He tried to take me back, but Mrs. Granby said that she’d forgotten all about me.” Her sigh shuddered. “She hadn’t even noticed I’d been missing.”

Nick shoved himself up on his elbow. He didn’t care that his shoulder seized in pain.

“El, look at me.” He waited until she turned her face to him.

Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. “You are anything but forgettable. This woman must’ve been daft, or wallowing in her own misfortune, I don’t know.

But I do know that you are worth remembering. ”

Even if he had forgotten this piece of her.

Shame flooded his veins. He would do better.

Something passed behind her eyes before she looked away. “You’re only saying that because you have a head injury.”

His stomach knotted at the flash of hurt. “Maybe it’s my head injury helping me see things clearly.”

Her chin quivered, and he felt it like a punch in the gut.

“I’m so sorry. Have you told me this before and I’ve forgotten?”

She gave a quick shake of her head as if to rid herself of the emotion. “No, Nick. I never did.”

“I’m glad you told me now.”

She shrugged slightly and turned her shoulder, declaring an end to their conversation.

He stared at her a little longer.

Even with a fuzzy head, he remembered Elsie as always conscientious, quiet, and smiling, not once hinting that something like this was hidden in her background.

He relented to the throbbing in his shoulder and lay back down, staring at the planks in the ceiling.

Had she never felt safe enough to tell him? That thought churned in his gut until he thought he might be sick.

He knew one thing. He wouldn’t give up on her like her father had. Somehow, he would fix their marriage. Earn her trust again. Make her smile.

Her breath had evened out, like she was asleep once again. He studied her, examining how her hair fanned around her.

He let his fingers caress the ends, careful not to wake her.

“I will never walk away from you, El. I love you,” he whispered.