Page 2 of A Forgotten Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #5)

Even thinking her name released a rush of memories from the place where he’d barricaded them. They rubbed against something so tender, so raw within him, that all his nerves fired at once.

Her face paled as she gave a heavy blink—as if she, too, wanted to make sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.

A drip of melted snow slipped from her hat. Her hand trembled as she brushed away the drop from her cheek.

His hand twitched, as if it remembered the softness of her skin, her hair, and longed for the connection. He clenched his hands until his nails cut into his palms.

Her jaw slackened before she said, “Nick?”

What was she doing here? In Calvin, Wyoming. At Merritt’s house.

The door—his means of escaping this torturous moment—was behind her. He couldn’t hear Merritt in the kitchen, but she was only steps away. He didn’t want to wait for a book or for anything.

He just wanted out of here.

Elsie fiddled with the pleat of her skirt, the same way she always had when nervous. “What are you doing here in Calvin?”

He forced out the words, though they cut his throat like glass. “I live here.”

Moments before reaching her friend Merritt’s house, Elsie Atchison had leaned into the wind working against her and shoved the letter deeper into her pocket.

I’d hoped to tell you in person, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you.

Love her? How could Arnold Nelson love her? He didn’t even know her. Not the real her hidden beneath layers of expectations she worked hard to meet.

Snow soaked through her boots, freezing her toes. She forced them faster toward Merritt’s.

She’d left the empty schoolroom, but her feet hadn’t turned toward the room she rented in the family home of one of her students.

The family had left to visit a far-off daughter for Christmas.

The house would be entirely too quiet. Elsie needed to talk through this disaster. Needed to find a solution.

Merritt would help. She was her sister Darcy’s friend, Elsie’s by proxy. She might even be able to tell Elsie how to fix this mess.

The letter crinkled as Elsie hugged her middle.

Love? How had these letters gotten so out of hand? She’d only agreed to the correspondence to avoid disappointing her parents. She’d known Arnold forever but had never felt that way about him.

The thought of marrying Arnold closed in around her as if smothering her. She wanted to teach. Not marry. Her mother couldn’t understand how Elsie felt. Pretended she didn’t hear when Elsie brought it up.

Arnold was an attractive, polite gentleman that most women would welcome as a suitor. But his charm did nothing to make Elsie’s heart beat faster.

Her classroom was a refuge. It was steady. Day in and day out, she planned the day for her students. She created the rules.

There, she didn’t worry about betrayal leaving her raw and vulnerable.

She reached Merritt’s house and climbed the porch but stopped in her tracks. Beside the door sat a beautiful dog with shaggy, spotted fur and intelligent blue eyes.

She held out her hand for the dog to sniff. “Well, where did you come from?”

The dog nuzzled into her hand, and she scratched its ears. She hadn’t known Merritt liked dogs.

With a final pat, she straightened and stomped the snow off her boots, then after a short hesitation, opened the front door.

When Elsie had first arrived in Calvin, Merritt had taken her under her wing, insisting they were family. And family didn’t stand on formalities like knocking on the front door.

A wind gust blew a dusting of snow across Merritt’s floor as Elsie practically tumbled in, almost knocking her friend over. “Sorry, Merritt!” With her shoulder, she rammed the door closed behind her. “Brr, the temperature is dropping fast.”

She fumbled with the buttons on her coat while she turned around. “I really need to talk to you.”

Elsie’s hands stalled mid-motion. It wasn’t Merritt behind her.

Her breath stuck in the back of her throat. Whether from surprise or dread, she didn’t know.

Nick. Nick McGraw.

The very man who’d broken her heart five years ago.

He looked the same except for the stubble darkening his jaw. And the new shadows darkening his eyes.

Never had she thought she would see the greatest regret of her life again.

He stepped back, eyes narrowing as if she had become a threat simply by walking through the door.

At his reaction, an echo of her old anger rose in response.

Five years ago, he’d given her an ultimatum.

That night flooded back. She could almost feel the way the winter air had sliced her cheeks as she’d watched him mount his horse. He hadn’t even looked back as he’d ridden away. Hurt and betrayal had vied for the most awful sort of win.

Now the air sizzled with the bite of that familiar betrayal. Something hot.

“Nick?” She whispered his name, barely audible above the wind rattling the windows.

His eyes narrowed.

Idly, she noticed that his hair had grown over his ears. “What are you doing here in Calvin?”

He didn’t move, his face a mask. “I live here.”

He lived here? She knew his family lived here.

She’d arrived in town full of nerves, breathless at the thought of seeing him again.

But it’d been months, and she’d never seen him.

“You’re not teaching?” It was a silly question.

She was the teacher in the one-room schoolhouse.

But if he lived nearby, that meant he wasn’t a teacher after all.

A muscle in his jaw twitched. “You sent the children home early? You’re the teacher?”

How could the simple words, spat out like that, sound like an insult?

Elsie’s stomach churned. She gripped her wet skirt to keep her hands from shaking and raised her chin so he wouldn’t see the way her lips threatened to tremble. “I am.”

“What happened in Elk Creek?”

Her chin notched higher. “I left.” She refused to admit how things had worked out. Not to him. “When Merritt retired, she let me know of the opening. And here I am.” She spread her hands out to punctuate her sentence.

He remained closed off, revealing nothing. She’d never experienced Nick like this. He’d always been open to her. Until those very last moments together…

No, she couldn’t think about that.

So instead, she cleared her throat. “It’s been a busy semester. The Christmas pageant went well.” Except for when one of the school board members had come in and demanded his daughter be the lead.

Merritt’s voice rang out from the kitchen. “I found it! Sorry, Nick?—”

His head jerked to the left, his eyes blinking furiously as if he’d forgotten where he was, what he was doing here. “I have to go.”

“Nick, wait?—”

For a moment, Elsie thought he would shoulder her out of the way.

“Move.”

She stepped aside, shaken. The Nick she’d known before would never have spoken so coldly.

She called after him as he went out into the blowing snow. “I’ve thought about what I might say if we ever met again?—”

“I haven’t thought about you at all.”

She barely heard his mutter over the wind, but the words struck her like a blow from a ruler across the backs of her knuckles. Sharp, shooting pain.

Tears gathered. Different tears than before.

The door snapped closed behind him, and Elsie’s chest heaved beneath the hand splayed across her chest.

Her strength drained away. She leaned against the hallway wall and slid down.

She heard Merritt’s swishing dress stop beside her.

Elsie muttered, “You didn’t tell me Nick lived at home.”

Merritt stood over her with surprise in her wide eyes. Obviously, she’d overheard some of Nick’s parting words. “What happened?”

Elsie couldn’t speak. She’d come face-to-face with the man who’d been a part of the worst moment of her life—and it was like opening a box of stuffed-away pain. Everything came flooding back.

Elsie shook her head.

Merritt sighed. “I thought you and Nick had been friends.”

Friends? Oh, they’d been so much more than that. But back then, Elsie had wanted to keep things about Nick to herself.

“Obviously, there’s more to it.”

Elsie swallowed. Hard. She’d never told anyone what had transpired that night…and at this moment, she couldn’t find the courage to tell her dear friend. What would Merritt think of how naive she’d been? Her mistakes?

Merritt eyed her. “Maybe you should go after him. Smooth things over.”

“There’s nothing left to say.”

Merritt bent down, eye level, serious. “Surely nothing happened that would jeopardize your post here in Calvin.”

The tone of Merritt’s voice made Elsie’s mouth go dry. She looked away.

No, nothing indecent had happened, but appearances mattered. Morality clauses in teacher contracts mattered. And she knew how quickly rumors could spread.

“Nick is good friends with Adair Benson,” Merritt said. “One of the school board members.”

Elsie’s stomach lurched.

“They go shooting together sometimes.”

No, no, no. If Nick leaked anything about what had happened, her reputation would be in tatters. Her job threatened.

He wouldn’t do that, would he?

The old Nick, the one she’d fallen for five years ago, would never have betrayed her trust. But she didn’t know him anymore, did she?

Elsie sucked in a breath. “I think I do need to go smooth things over with Nick.”

Smooth things over? Beg for his discretion was more like it.

Concern passed over Merritt’s face as she helped Elsie to her feet. “Would you like me to go with you?”

The letter crinkled in Elsie’s pocket as she fished for her gloves. Her reason for coming to Merritt had been forgotten in the shock of seeing Nick again.

She’d have to deal with Arnold’s declarations later.

With a jerky movement, Elsie yanked the door open. “No reason for you to brave the storm.”

Then she charged into the storm, following Nick’s disappearing tracks in the snow.