Page 19 of A Forgotten Heart (Wind River Mail-Order Brides #5)

His almost teasing words were such a surprise that it took her a moment to respond. “I guess you’re just special.”

He pushed against the wall to straighten, but his balance was off, and he wobbled.

She was already reaching for him before she thought better of it and let her arms drop back to her sides.

He stared at her hands, unmoving. “I’m fine.”

No, he wasn’t. “You’ve hurt your head.”

He ignored that, wincing as he pushed away from the wall again and brushed by her.

Elsie shifted on her feet before she followed him in and closed the door, still shivering.

Nick slid off his coat, his movements stiff, then hung it on a peg before crossing over to the sink. He primed the pump to wash his hands.

Elsie couldn’t ignore the rawness of his expression. Something inside called her to ease his pain. “You need to sit before you fall over.” She pulled out a chair from the small table in the corner. “You missed breakfast, but I’ll make you something to eat.”

With pressed lips, he looked at her, then the chair, wiping his hands slowly on a towel.

Elsie swallowed. “Please.”

He tossed the towel onto the counter. “Only if you quit bossing me around.”

Nick was the only one who’d ever accused her of being bossy. The callback to how they’d once been pricked her heart. She moved to the larder to pull out the leftover biscuits from breakfast as he gingerly moved to the chair.

Nick stretched his legs out in front of him. She was conscious of the way he watched her. Gone was his anger from yesterday. He seemed almost uncertain.

She brought the plate over and set it down in front of him. “Nick, I know it’s none of my business, but your brothers wanted you along. I know it. Your injury?—”

He bristled. “I know that, Elsie. When a single load of firewood makes me feel like heaving, I know that I would’ve slowed them down.”

He sounded so angry. How could he be angry at himself for having been shot?

He kept his head bowed over his plate, fingers playing with one of the biscuits.

“I can’t let my family down again.” His voice was soft, as if he hadn’t meant to speak out loud. He smoothed his thumb along the cup, a faraway look on his face.

She sat in the chair across from him, avoiding his eyes. “You aren’t letting your family down.”

He folded his arms and braced them against the table. “I did when I chose to study over helping my dad one time. He ended up…”

His eyes closed, and Elsie’s breath caught in her lungs. “Ended up what?”

His gaze flicked to her and then away again. He was silent for so long that she thought he wouldn’t answer. And then words seemed to pour out of him.

“Back when I was studying for my entrance exam for normal school, my dad told me to move my green broke colt to the barn from the corral. I lost track of time studying.”

“That’s easy to do,” Elsie murmured

He ran a hand down his face. “I was in the house and heard a commotion outside. Pa had tried to move my colt himself. It’d spooked and tossed my dad into the fence, stomped on his leg.”

Before she could stop herself, Elsie reached out and laid her hand on Nick’s arm. His muscle twitched beneath her hand, but he didn’t push her away.

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “His leg never healed properly. If I’d done what I was told, it never would’ve happened.”

She hadn’t known he bore this guilt. “Nick, it was an accident.”

“A year later, he died.” He rubbed his chest, as if his heart ached. “I was told his leg had some sort of infection that eventually killed him. Because of me chasing my dream, my dad died.”

He moved his hand to rest on hers, its warmth rendering her speechless.

“My mom encouraged me to return to school, so I did all I could for the sake of proving my dad didn’t die in vain, but then…”

Then.

A stone dropped in Elsie’s gut. No wonder he’d been so angry. So hurt.

Had she been the selfish one? Not understanding the guilt he carried?

He looked up at her, the shame in his expression making her ache. “My priorities were all mixed up. I can’t let anything distract me from my responsibilities.”

Was that how he saw himself? How he thought his brothers saw him? She couldn’t stand the thought.

“Your family doesn’t need another warrior. What they need is you. Your brothers need you to help them.”

Nick’s expression was unreadable. “They need another gun at their backs. Not someone to sit at home.”

How could she explain so he’d understand?

“You’ve a way of seeing what no one else sees.

You see Quade’s next move. You see a different approach.

You see a kid who needs a kind word.” She swallowed.

“You saw a frightened girl on her first day of teaching school and made her feel included. Like she belonged.”

His eyes held hers, and her heart pattered in her chest.

Elsie’s throat clenched so tight, she had to force out “You noticed me.”

He drew away, leaving her to put her hand in her lap. A muscle in his jaw ticked. “How could anyone not notice you?”

Heat gathered behind her eyes. Maybe he’d noticed her then, but after, he’d forgotten all about her.

He simply stared.

And the kitchen door swung open.

“Is it time for lunch? I’m starving.” Jo headed straight for the larder as if she hadn’t even noticed Nick and Elsie sitting there.

Elsie stood, her movements stiff. “Not quite.”

Awareness pricked as Nick’s eyes followed her when she crossed to help Jo. Maybe the interruption was for the best.

They both knew there was no future together, not for the two of them. It was no use focusing on the past.

She needed to make it through the next few days with her heart intact.