Page 37 of A Curse of Breath and Blood (The Mind Breaker #1)

36 AELIA

“You don’t have to tell me why you were screaming your lungs out, but if you want to, I am here to listen.” Tharan handed me a hot mug of spiced cider.

I took a sip; warmth filled my chest. “It’s a long story.”

“I am nearly immortal. I have nothing but time.” He leaned back in his brown leather chair. Seated in one of the palace’s immaculate studies, books and scrolls lined the walls. A fire roared in the hearth. Yule garlands adorned every eve, filling the place with the scent of spruce and berries.

“By now, I’m sure you’ve discovered the power I possess.” My voice trembled.

Tharan nodded. “You are a telepath.”

“Yes.” I fidgeted in my chair, guilt built in my heart. “Caiden and I were…” A lump grew in my throat.

“In love.” Tharan finished my sentence for me.

“Yes. It’s a long story,” I repeated lamely.

Tharan laid a pack of cigarettes on the table between us. “We’ve got time.”

I lit one, taking a long drag before diving deep into the intricacies of my relationship with Caiden. The words flowed like a river being released from a dam. I laughed and cried and talked until my voice went hoarse, all while Tharan nodded along, placing a supportive hand over mine.

I told him everything: the love Caiden and I shared, the way he helped me through my father’s illness, my Promised Day, and my father’s untimely death. I told him about the darker parts of my history when I was a much different person. Caiden had seen every iteration of who I was, and now he was gone.

By the time I finished my tale, fuchsia painted the dusk sky. Sleep tugged at my eyelids.

“Now you know everything.” I took a drag of my cigarette. “I am not a good person. Everything they say about me is true. I am an addict, a mercenary, a traitor who burned her kingdom to the ground.”

Tharan leaned in close to me. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Aelia Springborn.” He sucked in a drag from his cigarette. “This life forces us into situations we never thought we’d be in. We can only move forward.”

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

Tharan lifted my chin, our eyes met. “Your past is just a story, Aelia. Anytime you wish, you can start a new chapter.”

My breath caught in my throat. I saw myself reflected in Tharan’s vernal eyes. Words escaped me. Half of me wanted to melt away into nothing, and the other half wanted to kiss Tharan and never stop.

A knock at the door broke our gaze. Awkwardly, I rubbed my sweating hands on my pants.

A satyr with brown fur and ram’s horns entered the room. “Dinner is served in the dining hall, my king.”

“Thank you, Albie.” Tharan nodded. “Shall we?” Extending his hand to me once more.

“We shall,” I said, taking it.

Amolie and Sumac were waiting for us when we entered the dining room. Roasted elk, wild mushrooms, and carrots adorned the expansive oak table—an ancient text propped open in front of Amolie.

“Nice of you to join us,” Amolie said, taking a bite of meat. Tharan took his seat at the head of the table. I took one across from Amolie. Dozens of candles cast dancing shadows across the walls as we ate.

“Did you find anything in the library to break the spell on Baylis?” Tharan asked.

Amolie nodded. “I did, but it will require blood and espionage.”

“You’ve piqued my interest. Tell me more.” Tharan took a sip of his wine.

As Amolie explained the intricacies of the amulet, my thoughts drifted to Caiden riding away in the black carriage, oblivious to my existence. In some memories, I merely removed myself, while others, I wiped entirely. To him, I existed as Baylis’s sister, a sibling he had never encountered.

Tharan massaged his chin, pondering the whole thing. “I want to go with you.”

The clanging of silverware interrupted the conversation. “Over my dead body,” Sumac said, food flew from her mouth.

“The Highlands attacked my kingdom. I need to do reconnaissance.”

“Send me.” Sumac rubbed her shoulder where Baylis’s crossbow had hit.

“I need someone to stay here and defend the Woodlands. You and Hopper can run things until I return.”

“But—”

Tharan placed a reassuring hand on top of Sumac’s. “I know you want to protect me, but I am the Alder King now. I will be fine.”

Sumac nodded, returning to playing with her food .

“Is there a chance Gideon could be dead? I skewered him through the gut.”

“I think I would know… or have a feeling if he was dead,” I said.

“Knowing Erissa, she could probably bring him back. Elves with their breaths and all,” Amolie said, not looking up from her book. “It’s a tricky thing, bringing someone back from the dead. No one truly returns. Sure, their body is alive, but you can see the differences over time. Little things, like their sense of humor changes or goes away.”

“How do you know about all of this?” I asked.

“There used to be a coven of witches known for their necromancy. Whoever casts the spell must give some of their own life to bring the person back.” She returned to studying her book.

After dinner, Tharan and I shared a smoke outside. Leaning against the railing, I stared at the stars, blowing smoke rings at them.

“Tell me about your sister,” Tharan said, gazing over his massive kingdom. The forest embarked on its own healing process. Glimpses of green emerged amidst the charred branches of trees.

I sighed. “I know you must hate her for what she did to your father. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her.”

Tharan turned to me. His verdant eyes accepting. “I know it wasn’t really her. My father’s blood is on Gideon’s hands.” He took another drag of his cigarette. “He was as old as the world. Born from the very trees in this forest—a king to lead them. He ruled for nearly ten thousand years, fought countless wars, helped the Trinity cull the land, and united the Wild Courts. His people loved him, and I hope I can be like him. We had our differences, but? I knew he loved me.” He took a deep breath as if the crown weighed heavily on him .

“Thank you,” I whispered, lowering my head. “She’s not that person.”

He placed his hand over mine, making the hairs on my arm stand on end. “I know the love siblings share.”

“Is Briar your only sibling?” I stomped on my cigarette butt.

“Originals differ from you and me, Aelia. The Trinity chooses when they will sire offspring.”

I leaned in closer. Moonlight shone off his silken hair. “What of your sister? Will you look for her?”

Tharan dug a finger into the wood railing. “Briar has always walked her own path. The root rot she contracted as a child transformed her. Some think the rot seeped into her brain.”

“Is that what you think?” I arched my brow.

A sigh escaped his lips, turning his breath to mist in the night air. “I think Illya gives us all special gifts. Sometimes, our gifts may be hidden from others, or it may take time to find them, but they are still there. Briar will do whatever Illya wishes her to do. Should she return, I would welcome her with open arms.”

I rubbed the spot on my arm where the inky mark had been just hours before. “Were you close?”

“We were once. She is the daughter of my father’s only wife, Maple. My father favored her above all others until the rot took her magic. She and I used to play for hours. We were best friends.” He paused. “After the rot, she changed. She secluded herself away from the outside world. Ashamed of what the illness did to her. I tried to help her, but she did not want to be helped. So, we grew apart.”

I placed my hand on his. “Sometimes it is easier to sink into the roles already given to us than to fight for a new one.”

“I didn’t want to be king, Aelia. But now that I am, I want to do right by my people. To be their strength.” Tharan ran his hand anxiously through his silken hair. “And that starts with seeking justice for what the Highlands did to my beautiful forest. ”

“I understand. Baylis is a better person than I’ll ever be.” I said, tracing the grains in the wood with my fingers.

Tharan raised an eyebrow at me.

“She cared about others. I only cared about myself.”

“Did you ever consider she poured herself into others to distract herself from your father’s illness? The way you poured yourself into Caiden?”

“Perhaps. She exuded perpetual confidence, effortlessly excelling in everything she pursued. As a child, she dreamed of becoming an archer. Our father arranged for her to have a teacher. In just a few years, she ascended to become the kingdom’s finest archer, capable of dispatching a rabbit without it ever suspecting a thing. Our father often had her showcase these talents at gatherings, yet Baylis never boasted.

“She held the title of the best archer in the Midlands and perhaps in all of Moriana, but she remained unwavering in her loyalty to Ammena and the Trinity, praying at the temple daily. Even when she knew our father wouldn’t recognize her, she visited him every single day.” Guilt gnawed at my heart. “I wish I possessed her level of devotion.”

“Everyone copes in their own way, Aelia.” Tharan squeezed my hand.

A lump grew in my throat. I had not thought about my father in a long time. I shook my head, trying to empty the guilt lingering there.

“So, what are you going to do when all this is over?” Tharan asked, lighting another cigarette.

I plucked out another as well, lighting it to collect myself.

“I’m going to kill Gideon. But first, I’m going to humiliate him the way he did to me. A quick death is too easy for him.” Smoke billowed into the night air.

“From traitor to king killer.” Tharan held the cigarette to his pursed lips .

I hung my head. “Do you think I’m crazy for wanting revenge?”

“No.” He smiled into the night. “I think your need for vindication is justified.. We have a common enemy. However, you can’t kill him yet. He needs to be held accountable for what he did during the Yule Revelry.”

I huffed. “And why not? I would be doing you a favor.”

Tharan blew smoke into the cool night air. “Sylph laws demand a trial. Even if the verdict will certainly be guilty.”

I knitted my brow, grabbing Tharan’s hands in desperation. “Allow me to carry out justice as I see fit.”

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “I will make the case to the Sylph Court.”

“Thank you…” I twiddled my fingers. “For everything. For being my friend.” I surveyed the forest kingdom below us. Snow-capped trees of all kinds spread out for as far as the eye could see. The magic of the ancient forest seeped into my skin, making it tingle.

Tharan leaned on the railing like he did the first night we met at the Court of Sorrows. His angular features illuminated by the moonlight reminded me of the god he was. “Your past means nothing to me, Aelia. You have shown me kindness and bravery. I am proud to call you my friend.”

I resisted hugging him. “Perhaps when this is all over, I could come back here. To be in your service.”

An arched eyebrow. “I do need advisors I can trust.”

My chest lightened at the thought of being near Tharan, protected in this forest oasis.

“But before we can get you a title, we must first bring Gideon and Erissa to justice.”

I tried not to blush. “When do we leave?”

“A few days.” He offered me his arm.

Escorting me to my room, we said our goodbyes. He kissed me on the cheek before heading off to his own chambers. “Goodnight, mystery woman.”

I couldn’t hide the smile lighting my face. This is how so many women had fallen for him.

The room I occupied with Caiden for weeks seemed hollow when I stepped inside. Our intimate moments were erased along with Caiden’s memories. The long leather box containing the Scepter of the Dead lay on the mahogany desk. I did not have the energy to quarrel with the Morrigan’s ghost, so I put the box into a drawer.

‘ You will not get rid of me that easily, my queen, ’ her ancient voice hissed at me.

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t have time for you right now, Morrigan.”

‘ I know what happened at the revelry. Bind me to you, and my army will be yours. ’

“And you’ll suck the life from my bones. No thanks. I’ll pass.”

‘ There are ways of getting around that. ’

“Oh, another quest? I’m booked solid on quests at the moment. Try again later.”

‘ You will need me, Traitorous Queen. Our fates are intertwined. ’

“Great. Goodnight.” I rolled over in my bed, feeling the cold emptiness where Caiden once lay. My heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again, never feeling his touch. Burying my face in my pillow, I screamed my lungs ragged.

The door creaked open. Amolie peeked her head in. “Thought you might want some company.”

“You know me so well, Am.” She crawled into bed, and I laid my head in her lap. “I miss him already.”

“I know; I miss Roderick too,” she said, running her hands through my hair. She always knew how to comfort me. “It’s going to hurt for a while, but you will learn to live with the pain. Some days, you won’t feel it at all.”

I didn’t want to let the pain go. I wanted to tattoo it onto my skin, forcing the world to look upon my sorrow to know my truth: someone loved me once.