Page 15 of A Curse of Breath and Blood (The Mind Breaker #1)
14 AELIA
The city sparkled as though covered in a layer of sugar as Amolie and I made our way back to the townhome.My mouth salivated at the thought of Ernie’s rich hot cocoa waiting for us.
Patrons hurried through the streets, eager to get home to a warm meal. We took our time, enjoying the light snow. I noticed an unmistakable mark chiseled into one of the granite walls—a pixie sprinkling dust. Thoughts of the euphoric substance running through my veins made my fingers twitch.
I fought the urge to mark where the sign had been. It would be so much easier to face my fears sedated. I swallowed hard and pushed the temptation away. You’re stronger than this.
Shame washed over me at the thought of my sister seeing what I had become. She wouldn’t recognize me. I rubbed my hands on my cloak as if I could wipe the embarrassment away.
When we reached the house, Caiden, Roderick, and Lucius waited in the living room. Their faces filled with gloom and apprehension.
“What’s going on?”I asked, handing my cloak to Ernie.
Caiden stepped forward, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Gideon is here. ”
A pit opened in my stomach.
Amolie grabbed my hand, steadying me.
Reading the panic on my face, Roderick chimed in, “At least, his men are. We didn’t actually see him.”
I paced around the room, lighting a cigarette to calm my nerves. “He can’t know I’m here.” My whole body shook in fear.
Ernie frowned at me from the stairwell.
“You can enchant the smell away later.” Caiden waved him away. “You’re safe here, Aelia. His magic can’t penetrate the wards around this house.”
I took a drag of my cigarette, letting the smoke burn in my lungs. “It’s not him I’m worried about. He’s too lazy to learn how to use his magic properly. Erissa could if she wanted to.”
Caiden turned to Amolie. “Then we best not give her a reason to snoop around. Amolie, can you put a salt barrier around the inside of the house?”
Amolie nodded and headed upstairs.
“Aelia, I think it’s best if you don’t leave the townhome until we depart for the Court of Sorrows. Itra can bring your clothes here.” Caiden wrote a message down on a piece of parchment. “Have this delivered to Itra Davenport in the textile district.” He handed the paper to Ernie.
“Right away, sir.” Ernie took the parchment, the wax seal of the Court of Storms visible.
“And make sure it is kept discrete,” Caiden warned.
Ernie nodded.
After dinner, we gathered on the terrace of the townhome. The lights of the city twinkled below us. Roderick held Amolie close while Caiden, Lucius, and I gathered around a small fire .
I lit another cigarette, without dust to lean on, every emotion hit me like a tidal wave.
“I’m going to scout for Highland soldiers tonight. Maybe I can figure out why they are here,” Lucius said.
“Be careful. We don’t need to alert them to our presence.” Caiden took a sip of brandy.
Lucius gave Caiden a look that made my stomach turn. “I am your Master of Shadows. Please give me some credit.”
“You’re right.” Caiden held up his glass to salute his friend.
Pulling a dark cloak over his head, Lucius disappeared into the darkness of the night.
I bit my fingernails as memories bubbled to the surface like a boiling kettle, slow at first, then faster until I wanted to scream.
“You know, you can talk to me,” Caiden said.
I shut my eyes. “I’ve already burdened you enough.”
“You’re going to erase my memories, anyway.”
I pondered for a moment. Perhaps it couldn’t hurt to let Caiden in.
Amolie and Roderick were lost in their own world, holding each other tightly, whispering sweet nothings.
With a heavy sigh, I let some of the tension out. “It’s more than just the memories of abuse. It’s the shame that eats away at me every day. I let him in. Let him manipulate me.”Bile rose in my throat at the admission.
Caiden’s glance softened. “Your father had just died, and you had been ripped from your home. It’s not your fault he preyed on your sorrow. A leech doesn’t feed off a sick host, Aelia.” He pulled me in closer to him.
I rested my head on his shoulder—chest tight from the emotions building within.
“I know, but I hurt so many people.” A pressure built behind my eyes. “Including you.”
Caiden rocked me as I hyperventilated. “You can’t go back and change the past, but you can move forward with your life.”
Caiden had been my lifeline for so long.
A memory bubbled to the surface.
It was the day after my Promise Ceremony. Baylis had woken me early in the morning. Before the first light of dawn. “Mother needs us at the castle.” The fear in her eyes made my heart leap into my throat.
We ducked through alleys and back passageways to remain as hidden as possible.
When we arrived, my mother was waiting in our father’s study with a glass of whiskey. A glaze covered her emerald eyes.Her long black hair draped over her shoulders.
“He’s dead,” she said to no one in particular. “Your father is dead.”
A sense of relief flooded me at the sound of those words. For ten years, we had walked on eggshells around my father. One wrong move sent him into a downward spiral we could not pull him out of.
We were free.
The reality of the situation did not register until she led Caiden and me into my father’s chambers, where he hung from a rope. His eyes were glassy, like a doll’s.
I left my body: his snapped neck, his rigid limbs. The guards hacked to bits on the floor beneath him. It was all too much. I retreated inside myself.
Caiden held my hand the entire time—a tether to this world—the last intimate touch we would share for years. The next day, I was shipped off to the Highlands. Where a fate worse than death awaited me.
Baylis’s last words echoed in my mind.
Do not let them break you, Aelia .
My sadness so consumed me that I hadn’t noticed that sentence’s nuance. Them . Did she have the sight then? Was she trying to warn me of what was coming? Why had I been so thick-headed? Stupid idiot.
My chest lightened after telling Caiden the simple truth. Gideon had made a fool of me—a brilliant plan.“A broken girl makes for a willing victim,” I said, wiping my nose on my cloak.
Caiden lifted my chin so that our eyes met. “You were never broken to me.” Lightning flashed in his blue eyes as if he were seeing me for the first time.
Both suffering when we met, we poured ourselves into one another, half empty, looking for something to make us whole again.
“I am hollow inside. Gideon sucked the life from my veins.” Tears muffled my words. Truthfully, I accepted love from any source. I allowed Gideon to abuse and manipulate me because of desperation to be accepted… to be loved.
Taking my hand in his, a serious look crossed his face. “Let me help you, Aelia.”
“You can’t.” I breathed deeply. “You won’t know I exist when this is all over.”
Firelight danced across his chiseled face as his mouth tightened into a thin line.
I focused on our intertwined hands. “I cannot let myself get attached to you again. I have to protect my heart.”
“We didn’t specify a timeline in the bargain. We could hold off on it.” Caiden ran a loving hand across my shoulders.
“You and I both know the longer we wait, the harder it will be. The more the magic will demand the bargain be fulfilled.”
The laws of the land demanded balance. Once we saved Baylis, the scales of the universe would be off. Magic liked equilibrium. It would pull us together, demanding we finish what we started .
Caiden’s stubble pricked my fingers as I stroked his jaw, examining the man I had loved and hated for all these years. “We were never meant to be, Caiden.”