Page 11 of A Curse of Breath and Blood (The Mind Breaker #1)

10 AELIA

The ride to Ruska would take weeks.

I heaved myself onto Arion’s back. My body still recovering from being thrown off a building.

“You okay back there, Springborn?” Roderick said, giving me a radiant white smile.

Amolie handed me some more charcoal to settle my stomach.

“Never better.” My heartbeat pounded in my ears.

“We will follow the river for most of the trip. Be alert. Sirens have taken refuge in the Court of Sorrows,” Caiden announced as we moved out.

With my head and body feeling the way it did, it would be merciful for a siren to take me below the waves.

Ruska, a port on the banks of the Atruskan River, lay across from a solitary island, the Tower of Fate. Home to Clotho, Decuma, and Morta, the Three Fates.The Trinity’s divine presence in the world.

I shivered at the thought of being so close to them.

When we stopped for the night, I offered to catch fish for our dinner. I needed something to quiet my mind as it begged for the high I’d been feeding it for five years. Lucius accompanied me .

“You know, you should take it easy on him,” he said, not bothering to look at me while we weaved a trap from reeds as we sat on the river’s shore. “He’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah, well, he got to keep his home and marry the woman he loved, so forgive me if I’m not sympathetic.” I tossed a trap into the water.

“It is more complicated. The fight you two had before you disappeared… it broke him.”

I never loved you. You are nothing to me. I never want to see you again.

I stared across the river. I knew I hurt Caiden. Hurt him in a way only a lover can. Deep and personal. I made sure it hit all the sensitive spots—the places where the hurt would fester.

“I wanted someone to hurt the way I did. I couldn’t let him come after me.”I rubbed my arm awkwardly as if I could wipe the shame.

“I always appreciated that.” Lucius tugged on the trap, hoping to attract fish. “You never led him on afterward.”

I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

“I was a mess, Lucius. Every emotion was like touching an open nerve. I couldn’t stand to exist.”

“I know. But you must understand, he has suffered too.” He pulled a trap filled with fish from the river. “Look, it’s not my place to tell the personal details of his life. I just think you should cut him some slack. He is here now, Aelia.”

I bit my lip, wrapping my hands around my lean body. My anger was an integral part of me. I no longer knew myself without it.

I lit a cigarette.

As we carried our catch back to camp, my mind drifted to Baylis. Guilt thickened my throat at the thought of my innocent sister, who lived a pious life, served the goddess Ammena faithfully, and loved her family. She must be so afraid. I should have protected her.

Back at camp, Amolie and I cleaned the fish while Roderick took a small harmonica out of his pocket and struck a tune. Caiden and Lucius joined in.

The sylph loved their tragedies almost as much as they loved to sing and dance about them. I tapped my foot to the beat as we roasted the fish.

They were risking everything to save Baylis. Just as they had done so for me five years prior, I owed it to them to try my best to get clean. More than Baylis’s life hung in the balance. I swallowed hard at the thought.

Caiden approached me when the song was through, tugging at his ear nervously. “Take a walk with me?”

“Now?”I looked around. The others were engaged in a heated conversation over the merits of each of the goddesses of the Trinity.

“Yes, it’s important.” He cleared his throat. “The others won’t notice or care.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

Caiden offered me a gloved hand before I could protest any further.

We tramped through the snowy woods to a small clearing near a pond covered by ice. “Why are we out here, Caiden?”

Caiden rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m hesitant to tell you…”

I took out my cigarettes, tapping them on the palm of my hand. “That bad?” I said, lighting one with a match and taking a long drag.

Caiden swallowed hard, gazing out over the frozen water.

I blew a smoke ring. “Just tell me. You’ve seen the worst of me. It can’t be worse than anything I’ve done.”

Caiden kicked the snow. Moonlight streamed across his face, illuminating his rugged features. He scratched at the stubble on his chin.

“My wife is dead.”

My breath hitched, nearly choking on the smoke from my cigarette.

“I… Uh… I’m sorry.” Those two words echoed throughout my life. They were the last words my father had said to me before he took his own life. It’s what Gideon would say after he hurt me. Two paltry words you said when you didn’t know what else to say.

Caiden hurt as much as I did.

“I don’t need your pity. I need your help.” Caiden stood with his back to me, the moonlight casting shadows on his muscular build.

“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling my cloak tighter around myself—the winter air cut at my sleek figure.

“Gideon killed my wife. I cannot prove it, but I know he did. We found a piece of iron ore on her pillow.”

The Highlands were known for their deposits of iron ore. Almost every piece of steel in Morina came from iron in their mines, making the country prosperous and the men cruel.

I winced. “He did it to punish you for helping me. Didn’t he?”

He did not have to answer. Gideon had always been jealous of Caiden.

Caiden stared straight ahead, biting on the inside of his cheek.

I wanted to comfort him, but a chasm of hurt lay between us. Slowly, I slid my hand over the top of his. A single tear trickled down his cheek.

We sat in silence for a moment. Each of us unsure of what to say.

Finally, when my teeth started to chatter, I asked, “So, is there more to this plan than just saving Baylis?”

Caiden clicked his tongue. “It’s not politically wise of me to kill Gideon in the Court of the Alder King. But… if you could cause him some pain with your mind…”

I raised my hand, cutting him short. “I hoped to never see Gideon again, but I owe you a debt for saving my life in Ryft’s Edge.”

Caiden shook his head. “I did it out of love. You owe me nothing.”

A lump rose in my throat, but I pushed it away. I hadn’t felt this much in a long time. Every part of me was raw. A clammy sweat still dampened my brow. I knew this day would come—the day I would have to give up my crutch. I didn’t think it would come this soon.

“Everything will be forgotten after we free Baylis.”He squeezed my hand.

I shut my eyes. Our debts would be erased along with his memory.

“Then why are you telling me this?”

Caiden turned, meeting my gaze. His blue eyes were full of warmth and my body relaxed.

“Because I understand you now, Aelia. I understand why you were so angry. Why you shut out the world. I don’t hate you, but I am ready to be rid of the memories haunting me.”

I understood what he meant. I had never encountered another telepath like me, but I would’ve asked them to wipe my mind if I had—would’ve paid any sum they asked.

Caiden and I walked in silence back to camp. No words to bridge the gap between us.

“Caiden?” I stopped outside of the salt circle. He turned to look back at me. His eyes red from tears. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

“I know,” he said, turning to lay by the embers of the fire, leaving me alone in the cold.