Page 10 of A Curse of Breath and Blood (The Mind Breaker #1)

9 AELIA

Lucius and Roderick went fishing in the river while Amolie spread salt around our encampment—enough to deter any kelpie or nixie lurking in the river nearby.

“We’ll have to go to Ruska to get clothes for our dinner with Queen Nysemia,” Caiden said, throwing a log on the fire. “Even Wild Courts have a high level of decorum.”

“Do you think Gideon will follow us there?” I asked. My head throbbed both from the poison of the ash arrow and my body’s need for dust. A rough night awaited me. Already, a clammy sweat dampened my brow. Despite the advanced healing the sylph blood coursing through my veins offered, withdrawal from dust would take days.

Caiden scoffed. “Queen Nysemia hates humans. She would not make a treaty with one. Especially one who gained his powers from drinking the blood of the sylph.”

“Then I’m sure she’s going to love me.” I pressed my hand to my heart.

“We’ll discuss it when we get to Ruska.” He looked around the darkened wood. “You never know who or what is listening out here. Nysemia could have spies in the trees. ”

Roderick and Lucius returned with a rack of fish for our dinners.

“And what if we get caught?”I swallowed the dread blooming in my stomach.

“Not an option,” Caiden said, skewering the fish so they could be cooked over the fire.

“Wonderful.” I tightened my cloak around me. Night closed in on us.

“You two will need dresses for the Alder King’s ball. Multiple. You know how the sylph love pomp and circumstance.”

I rolled my eyes. I had been to enough diplomatic dinners to know how much the sylph loved a show. Their balls were elaborate, their food enchanted with spells to make you giddy for days. Before the Treaty of Kings, the sylph had considered humans a necessary nuisance. We were good enough to grow the food they ate but not for much else.

Roderick handed me a cooked fish. Its flakey flesh melted in my mouth. My hands shook from the withdrawal as I picked the bones clean. I hoped to keep it down long enough to nourish my healing body.

“Have you discovered who the emissary will be at the ball, Lucius?” He probably hadn’t, but I needed a distraction.

“I sent a raven when we reached Oakton. I am hopeful to hear something back soon.”

Heads hung low. Tired bodies picked at the meager dinner. No one said a word. The events of the day took a toll on us all.

After dinner, we lay by the dying light of the fire. I curled my knees into my chest, hoping to keep the dinner down. Winter nights could be brutal in the northern kingdoms, and my healing body wasn’t doing me any favors. Although being part of sylph had its advantages. My withdrawal would be shorter than most humans.

Through heavy-lidded eyes, I surveyed the camp. Lucius slept as he always did—standing up—a trait I chalked up to his wraith curse. Amolie and Roderick huddled together. His large body cradled hers under his cloak.

The shakes made it impossible for me to sleep. Sweat coated every inch of my body, making me both hot and freezing at the same time. I tried not to wake the others but knew they could hear my misery.

Fleeing to the shore, I hurled my dinner into the river. My stomach tightened. I spit acidic bile into the water. Heat radiated off my clammy skin. Cupping the icy water in my hands, I splashed my face. The sting provided a moment’s respite.

I gazed at my reflection. Hollow eyes stared back at me. What had become of my life?

I wanted to go back to the days before I married Gideon. When Caiden and I were young and in love. Seeing him now stirred something inside me I thought had died long ago.

As if summoned, Caiden appeared next to me. His warm hands rubbed my back. “You’ll be okay, Springborn.”

For the first time since we set out on our journey, I detected sympathy in Caiden’s voice. Although, I winced at the name. Only Roderick and Lucius had ever called me that.

“Does this remind you of the ball in the Court of Tears? When someone slipped me faerie wine?” I asked through chattering teeth.

Caiden let out a laugh—a true lighthearted laugh, like the ones we used to share so long ago. “You were such a mess. You thought you could dance in a sylph circle.”

“I can’t believe you still wanted to kiss me after that.” I splashed more water onto my face. The cold distracted me from the agony .

Caiden continued to rub circles on my back. “I’ve wanted to kiss you every day since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

My breath hitched in my throat against feelings I had buried rising to the surface. “I’m sure your wife would love to hear that.” Don’t catch feelings, Aelia, he’s married, and you’re a mess.

“She knew we both had pasts. That’s part of what made me fall in love with her.” Sadness filled his voice.

Daggers twisted into my heart. Why did I think Caiden wouldn’t have moved on? I had my fair share of lovers since I last saw him.They were just distractions, though. A way for me to feel something other than pain and to ease the sting of loneliness. I didn’t trust anyone enough to let them get close to me. The rug had been pulled out from underneath me twice before. My heart could not bear it a third time. So, I built a wall around it, so high and so thick no one could ever hurt me again.

Caiden filled the awkward silence between us. “You know, you’re not old, Springborn.”

I laughed. “To you, I must seem like an infant.”

Although not immortal, like the elves, Sylph lived for hundreds, sometimes thousands of years. At thirty, I must have seemed like a child to him.

“Even for a human, you are young.”He continued to rub circles on my back, reminding me of how my mother would do the same when I was a child.

I studied him through lowered lashes. Though we looked the same, I calculated his age at nearly seventy.

Dipping my hand into the black water, I let the river cool my fever. “I feel old. Like I have lived a thousand lives since I left Elyria.”

“A long life is hard. It makes the sylph petty and violent. Life is less precious when it extends hundreds of years. ”

“You’d think it would make them less dramatic,” I said, only to hurl more of my dinner into the river.

“What’s life without a little drama ?” Caiden patted my back.

I wiped my mouth on my sleeve. “I think I’ve had enough drama for multiple lifetimes.”

Caiden laughed before looping his arms under mine and helping me to my feet. “Let’s get you back to camp. There’s no telling what lurks in the waters of the Court of Sorrows.” He wrapped his powerful arms around me, pulling me closer. I couldn’t help but catch the scent of bergamot on him. Some things never change.

Caiden wrapped me in his cloak. “Do you want me to lay next to you? To keep you warm.”

Words escaped me. I blinked stupidly at him. It was the first time Caiden had touched me in years.

A chasm of silence formed between us.

“I’ll just lay here…” He pointed to a spot near me. “If you need anything… wake me up.” He sat down, motioning for me to do the same.

I laid down and pulled the cloak over my mouth so that only my eyes showed, inhaling his intoxicating scent.

“Goodnight, Aelia,” Caiden said as we lay back-to-back.

“Goodnight, Caiden,” I replied.

The embers in the fire still glowed as I tried to find sleep.

“Aelia?” Caiden said, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Yes?” I answered.

“I don’t hate you.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I hate myself enough for the both of us.”