Page 34

EMME

I wasn’t completely under control by the time my door was wrenched open by Kellan.

His smile as he reached over and unclicked my belt, before lifting me out the door, helped more than I expected though.

Strong positive emotions were relatively new for me, and now they were everywhere… drowning me in their intensity.

“Baby,” Kellan yelled. “Happy belated birthday. I’ve been waiting forever for you to get here.”

He kissed me so thoroughly I forgot the time, place, and my existence. I loved when I was so close to my alphas that I didn’t know where I began and they ended.

“It’s nine fucking a.m.,” Hunter growled from somewhere nearby. “You didn’t even wake until eight.”

Kellan chuckled against my lips. “Daddy Alpha is cranky this morning. He doesn’t like waiting either.”

Hunter’s scent hit me when he wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me away from Kellan.

“Mine,” he grumbled, spinning me to face him. For once, he allowed my feet to stay solidly on the ground, so I popped up on my toes to bring our faces closer together.

“Best birthday-Christmas ever,” I murmured, but they all heard me of course.

“A birthday-Christmas she forgot was even this month,” Slade, the absolute freaking traitor, told them all.

That set off groans and cries, and I peered around Hunter when I heard Cora’s soft laughter.

She stood with Warrick and waved enthusiastically when our gazes met.

Another burst of happiness almost took me down, and I found myself wiggling with excitement at what the rest of the day might bring.

Racing, my pack, and my best friends, was all I wanted from life.

Hunter’s wolf flared in his eyes as he took me in carefully. “Are you doing okay with all of this?” he asked softly, and as I stared into the dark depths of his beautiful, stormy eyes, it was hard to believe that not that long ago I’d feared this alpha.

“More than okay,” I said, surprised to find that minus my initial freakout, I meant it. “Shocked, but super happy.”

“Thank the goddess,” he muttered, and then his lips pressed to mine, his tongue demanding immediate entrance. As always, he found absolutely no resistance from me.

It was a brief kiss, thankfully, or I’d be asking for a minute of privacy to deal with the throb in my core. When Hunter finished saying happy birthday , Cora and Warrick pushed forward, and my best girlfriend threw her arms around me.

“You look so freaking good in that outfit,” she said as she hugged me tight. “Happy birthday and Merry Christmas, Ems. I’m so happy we’re celebrating together.”

My eyes burned, but I kept it together by burying my face in her shoulder.

When I pulled away, I examined her white race suit with green accents.

“You look gorgeous, Cores, and I vote we get more of these suits.” She enthusiastically nodded her agreement, and she wasn’t the only one.

I rolled my eyes at the alphas, who all looked like damn models in their suits, but I kind of liked the way they watched me.

“And thanks for being here,” I said as I turned back to Cora.

“It wouldn’t have been a celebration without you. ”

She waved me off like I was crazy. “You can’t have a birthday party without your best friend. That’s a fucking rule, and I let your alphas know as much.”

Slade, the only one of us not in a suit, still decked out in enforcers gear, crossed his arms. “Warrick’s life was in real danger when he delivered that message.”

It was his turn to be waved off by Cora, who on occasion forgot he was a big, scary dragon. “Emme would have murdered you and she’s the only one in the world you’re afraid of, Alpha Slade. I felt fairly safe.”

I waited for Slade to refute her claim, but he just smirked and shook his head, before heading down the tunnel that I assumed led through to the track.

Cora smiled brightly, and she looked so smug that I had to stifle my laughter.

While it was at times terrifying to have Slade as a mate, I wouldn’t change him for the world.

Cora didn’t mind dangerous males either, and I wondered what she’d say when she found out there were two of them.

Talon remained a pack secret for now, but eventually the news would come out.

Golden Claw was going to lose their damn minds.

Kellan linked his arm through mine and started to lead me after Slade, but we were stopped when Finley stepped into our path.

I looked over the bear shifter, his suit of gold and black making him look massive—his broad shoulders gave the illusion of nearly blocking the tunnel we stood in.

Which wasn’t as important as the somber expression on his face.

I waited for him to reveal his thoughts, but before he uttered a word, Kellan piped up. “I’ll head on in and get everything ready. Fin will bring you through to the track, pretty mate.”

Everyone else followed Kellan, and Hunter dropped a hand on Finley’s shoulder as he passed. When we were alone, Finley inhaled deeply, and then released it just as slowly. His eyes were wide and a little glassy. I’d never seen him this obviously nervous before.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my heart hammering harder than usual. My palms felt clammy, but I resisted the urge to wipe them on my suit and give my own nerves away.

Finley lowered his gaze to meet mine, and his impossibly thick, dark lashes fluttered, hiding the whiskey depths briefly.

“I wanted to wish you a happy birthday,” he said, the gruffness of his tone deeper than usual.

“But I don’t want to make it awkward for you.

Not now, or ever again. Especially not when we’re celebrating your first birthday and Christmas with the pack.

If you’d rather I wasn’t here today, I can leave. ”

“No!” It was an instinctive reaction, but I didn’t regret it. “It wouldn’t be as special a day if our entire pack wasn’t here.”

Finley nodded, and I was relieved when the strain on his features eased.

“Okay, well, I’m relieved to hear that. Happy birthday and Merry Christmas, Em.

” The smile he shot me was soft and knowing.

“How are you dealing with the surprise? If you’re anything like me, you probably don’t know what to do with a day dedicated to you. ”

He’d hit right on the confused emotions coursing through me. It was uncomfortable to have aspects of this day centered on me, but I appreciated it as well.

“I’m touched,” I said, feeling an innate sense of gratitude, “that you all wanted to celebrate the day, even belatedly. It’s awkward, but in a weird way.

Like… I’m not used to these strong surges of excitement and happiness and nerves.

It’s like a fucking emotion-rave is in full swing inside, and I don’t know if I’ll cry, laugh, or throw up. ”

Finley’s expression held understanding as he smiled. “Let them do this for you,” he told me. “It’s a day for them as much as it is for you. It will make all of them happy to shower you in love, attention, and presents.”

I chose to ignore the presents part, focusing instead on the way Finley had phrased that last piece of advice. “ Them? Do you not want to be here, Fin? Because I would understand.”

Maybe. I had no idea really.

His expression shuttered, and I was taken by surprise when he pressed his lips to my cheek. It was a light touch, but it burned into my skin, and I barely managed to hold back my gasp.

“I don’t deserve to celebrate this with you,” he said, “but if my presence doesn’t upset you, then I want to be here more than anything. Your first birthday with the pack is… a gift for me too.”

The air was tinged in cherry-vanilla, and I had no idea what to say after that revelation. The relief I felt that he wasn’t leaving was far too strong for the emotional distance between us, but it wasn’t the day to deep dive into how fucked up I was. Nah, that could wait for tomorrow.

“Come on, Ice,” he said, and I was finally rewarded with those dimples and a full-blown smile. “Let’s not leave our asshole pack waiting any longer. They’ve been planning this surprise for a long time.”

I fell into step beside him, and weirdly, there was a sense of comfort and calm between us. “You’re sticking with Ice Queen,” I said, not sure how I felt about it now that his tone had changed. “And here I thought you were trying to mend bridges.”

Finley’s smile never wavered, and dammit… I was addicted to dimples. Just sign me up for life. “At first I told myself it was in reference to your icy heart, and how you could keep your true mates at a distance…”

Harsh but fair. “And now?”

“Honestly, I should have known all along that I’d chosen a name to represent one of my favorite places in the world.

The ice is my peace, and all along, you were too.

No matter how hard I denied it.” Peace .

Fuck, if I could have chosen to be his anything, that would have been top of the list. “Do you know how to skate?”

I shook my head, my reply rough: “Nah, my mom wasn’t big on letting me out of the house. Or teaching me anything. Or allowing fun. I’ve never stepped foot on ice, except if I was in a city that snowed, and then it was just a pain in the ass as I tried not to slip on my way to work.”

Finley nodded as if he wasn’t surprised.

“Yeah, I had a similar mother, but she let us out in our area. Mostly when she was fucked up on booze and additives. There was a lake out the back of our land, and during winter I lived out there. Fell in more times than I can count, after getting on there too early in the season.” In my head I pictured a little wet bear, and it was too fucking adorable.

“My mother hated me being around,” I told him.

“Hence why she locked me in my room most of the time. If I hadn’t had that sneaky escape into the garage below, I’d have lost my mind long ago.

” Mom had always been paranoid about me leaving the house, and I still had no idea why, or who she’d been hiding us from. The monsters were already inside.

“Our moms would have been friends, if they weren’t complete narcissistic assholes,” Finley said dryly. “But at least they’re both dead. Silver lining.”

A morbid but sadly true statement.

We were through the tunnel now, and I saw the others standing by an impressive lineup of cars, parked near the entrance to the track.

“Whoa,” I choked out as I took in the full scene, “this is incredible. It looks like a professional speedway.” I popped up on my toes for a better look. “You even have a drag strip and figure eight track. You’ve got it all.”

Finley chuckled at my enthusiasm, and could we just say Christmas miracle at hearing Slade and Finley laughing today.

“Hunter designed and built this a few years ago,” he said. “He got sick of us racing in the streets, and having to deal with pissed off enforcers and council alphas. It’s been a weekend haunt ever since. Weather dependent.”

The weather was mild again today, with perfect blue skies and chilly winds but no snow. “Conditions look good for racing,” I commented, having no idea if that was true. I’d never done this in any sort of professional capacity. “I mean, once we get some heat into the tires.”

The four Porsche GT3 R’s in the lineup were from the garage, and already knew they were running semi-slicks. Unless we wanted to die, we’d need to warm them up first.

Finley’s wide-eyed and proud expression had me wanting to prance around with my damn fur puffed up. Apparently, all of his grouchy ways were forgotten with a few kind words and some dimples. I really needed to work out my fucking priorities here.

“Absolutely,” he said, unaware I was mentally beating myself up. “This is one of my favorite weathers to race in. The NA engines love the cool air.”

“Naturally aspirated love it as much as the turbos?”

That got me another slow, smirking grin, and my stomach intensely flip-flopped. “Turbos like it the most, but all engines perform better in cooler air.”

“Very true,” I said with a nod, sparks lighting up my veins. The car talk was turning me on, and more than that, it was Finley. The bear kept adding dirt to the chasm, and it didn’t feel quite as vast as before.

Finley held my gaze for a few long seconds, but before he could say anything more, Kellan noticed our presence and started bouncing and waving as he shouted for us to get our asses over there .

As we headed for them, I found myself saying, “We need to do this more often. Just hanging out and chatting.”

When he brushed his hand over the top of mine, a jolt ran through my body, and I choked back a gasp.

“I’d love that,” he said softly, and it was clear he meant it.

“I know I have a lot to atone and apologize for, Em, and to kick it off I was wondering if you might consider sitting in on a therapy session next week. I’ll be delving into my past, and I’d like you there to learn a little more about me. ”

I blinked at him. “You’ve been in therapy?”

That was the first time I’d heard of it, and the knowledge brought forth another surge of hope.

Therapy was the last thing I’d expected from the proud, stubborn shifter, but it was a tangible sign he was not just talking the talk.

He was walking the walk. A sign that I could start to trust in the future he promised.

He nodded, and didn’t try to downplay it at all.

“Yeah, and it’s been really helping. I think.

Dealing with my past is not a linear journey, but I feel mentally stronger.

I feel like I’m starting to accept and move through my traumas and learn healthy coping mechanisms. Rather than going straight for anger and violence.

Rather than pushing those I care about away because I’m scared of being hurt.

Honestly, I wish I’d started therapy years ago. ”

With my heart in my throat, I barely stopped myself from grasping his hand. Fuck, I was so proud of him. “If you want me to sit in on a session, just let me know the time and place. I’ll be there. No doubt I need therapy too, and can I just say how proud I am of you.”

I almost died as I caught sight of the splash of pink tinged high on his cheeks. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. I’d rendered him speechless, and it hurt to think that it might be because he’d never had anyone say those words to him before.

When we joined our pack, it cut off further deep and meaningful conversations, and I sucked in a shuddery breath as Kellan threw his arms around us both. “Race time!” he crowed, and I forced myself to focus on that.

Today we could pretend everything was perfect and that this was a normal birthday slash Christmas celebration.

Reality could wait for tomorrow.