Page 57 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile (Compelling Fates Saga #3)

Lessia

L essia sat with her friends, warmth that shouldn’t have found its way into her chest the night before war still clawing through as she let her eyes rest on each of them.

Kalia was seated beside her, her white hair fastened into a tight braid that hung over her shoulder as she kept one eye on the makeshift dance floor ahead and one on the Faelings moving about the ships.

While the humans, under Loche’s orders, hadn’t said a bad word to any of them, a sense of apprehension filled the air whenever one came too close, especially when it was Lessia—although given what she’d done to them, that made complete sense.

Right now, most of the Faelings sat on some of the empty wine barrels lining the stern of Loche’s ship, watching as humans swung each other around to the soft tunes.

Exactly like she, Amalise, and Ardow had done the past few hours, catching up on seemingly mundane things, but the things Lessia wanted to remember, should everything go as she expected tomorrow.

Lessia waved to Ledger as he ran past them, watching as he approached a group of humans to refill his cup, and she couldn’t help but smile when the gray-eyed boy threw around quips that made even the most uneasy man in the group laugh.

“What are you thinking about?” Ardow leaned over Amalise’s lap to look at her, and she was glad the guilt that had painted his gaze darker ever since she’d helped him escape Ellow was nearly erased.

They’d set those grievances aside, especially once Ardow had understood just how far Meyah had led him astray, and she’d heard from both Amalise and Zaddock how Ardow had apologized not only to Loche but to every human he came across, and how he and Venko had done everything they could to prepare for tomorrow.

Venko was the one who’d provided the abundance of food that lay on the serving trays around them, and he’d also funded several of the ships, donating weapons and other resources to ensure they were all fully stocked.

And Ardow… She knew that guilt still lingered somewhere inside him, because he’d fought to be on Loche’s ship, to be placed with the group that would be positioned in the bow, meeting the rebels first, to maybe, just maybe, make some of the ones he knew pause before they blindly threw themselves into the fight.

She smiled at Ardow when he raised his brows.

What had he asked, again?

What she was thinking about?

Lessia met Amalise’s eyes before she spoke. “If there is some way I can convince you not to be on that ship tomorrow.”

Amalise hummed in agreement before she bore her eyes into Lessia’s. “I don’t understand why I have to be on the stupid cliff while you both stand in the front lines.”

This was why Lessia had lost every fight with Ardow today about his decision. Merrick would be in the bow of Rioner’s ship, and since she’d promised to try to be right next to him the entire time…

“You know why,” Lessia said softly, praying that Amalise wouldn’t start crying, like she had twice today. “He needs to know I’m safe.”

“He’s a good man.” Zaddock strolled up to them, and Lessia and Ardow shared a glance when Amalise tried her best not to look his way, her legs dangling lazily over the edge of the barrel. “I wish I could do the same, but you’ll be safer on the cliff, Amalise.”

“Who is going to save you when you get another knife in your back, then?” Amalise snapped, her eyes slitting as she glared at Loche’s right-hand man.

“Are you worried about me?” Zaddock shot back as he stepped closer, blue eyes twinkling as they flickered over her friend.

“No,” Amalise muttered, her arms crossing over her chest. “I just think my talents will be wasted on that stupid cliff.”

“She is worried about me,” Zaddock mouthed to Lessia when she snickered, and she realized he must have had a cup or two of the wine because his face didn’t have the sharp lines it usually did when Amalise was around.

The ones that made Lessia believe he was on high alert at all times, looking for any danger that might pose a threat to her friend.

“I. Am. Not.” Amalise went red when Ardow also began laughing. “Stop that!”

Amalise went to slap Ardow when Zaddock swept in and grabbed her hand, swiftly bending his back in a bow. Looking up at her while keeping his body bent, Zaddock asked, “Will you do me the honor of a dance?”

Amalise pulled at her hand, but even Lessia could see it was half-heartedly, especially as Zaddock’s gaze filled with innocent hope.

“Just one,” he continued softly, and Lessia had the urge to look away—the moment seeming too private. “If I die from one of those daggers to the back tomorrow, you’ll still have made me the luckiest man alive if you just give me one.”

When Amalise hesitated, Ardow shoved her off the barrel with a “For fuck’s sake, you two are going to make me cry,” and Zaddock sent her friend a drunken salute before he led a bloodred Amalise onto the dance floor.

Ardow did have tears in his eyes as they caught Lessia’s again, and he cleared his throat. “She is really giving him a hard time.”

“You know why,” Lessia responded as she watched Amalise’s blonde hair sway over the arms Zaddock had wrapped around her. “She is scared of getting hurt again.”

Ardow enveloped one of the hands in her lap with his own. “I know. But if the past months have taught me anything, it’s that time is not on our side.” He turned to her, and the air between them became heavy with seriousness. “I haven’t apologized enough for what I did to you—to all of you.”

Lessia began waving her other hand, but when Ardow whispered “Please,” she dropped it again.

“I fucked up, Lessia.” His eyes searched hers. “So, so bad. But I am doing what I can to make up for it.”

“I know, Ard.” She did know. She could see it in his eyes, in his shoulders, in his back, and in his gait. “It’s all right.”

“It’s not…” Emotions raced over his face. “I can’t help but think I set everything in motion with my actions, and”—his voice broke—“your father.”

Lessia took a shaky breath. “Was not your fault. His death wasn’t anyone’s fault but Rioner’s.” She squeezed Ardow’s trembling hand. “I understand why you did what you did. Even here, even now, when we’re all fighting on the same side, there is a divide. We all see it. And it needs to change.”

Her eyes reflected in his, not in the way they did when her magic captured someone’s mind but in understanding, and Ardow’s pinched face finally softened.

“Do you think we’ll be alive to see it happen? See humans and Fae and half-Fae and shifters unite as one?” Ardow asked, his voice barely a whisper as Venko approached them.

Her grip on his hand tightened further.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But I have to believe it will happen.”

“Believe what will happen?” Venko asked as he rested a hand on Ardow’s leg, the other lifting a goblet of wine to his lips.

“That our men will finally ask us to dance,” Lessia said, blinking away any wetness that might have formed in her eyes.

“That’s why I came over here.” Venko grinned. “But I think your man is still on the other ship waiting for Raine’s friends, so I can wait.”

“No, no.” Lessia shook her head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be silly,” Ardow responded. “We’ll wait until Merrick is back.”

“No, you go ahead.” Lessia pressed Ardow’s hand back into his lap. “I could do with a few minutes alone.”

She actually could use some time by herself.

All day she’d been catching up with the Faelings, with Ardow and Amalise and Soria and Pellie—she honestly had no idea why the sisters still were here, deciding to fight, when she’d never seen them do much more than drink wine and bed men—and while she’d found that short time with Merrick on the cliff, her pulse was still heightened from all the socialization.

Ardow seemed to read as much into her expression because he bowed his head before jumping off the barrel, and with a squeeze of her knee, he led Venko onto the dance floor, taking up a spot beside Amalise and Zaddock, who were still moving in a circle even though Lessia was quite certain this would count as a second dance.

The two men pressed their cheeks against each other’s, Ardow’s auburn hair mixing with Venko’s blond mane as they held on to each other, moving elegantly but slowly from side to side as they appeared to be having a whispered conversation, judging from how their lips moved.

More warmth welled within her as she watched her two best friends.

“We’ve come quite far from those drunken nights,” Lessia whispered to herself when first Ardow, then Amalise, shot her a soft smile.

“What did you say?”

She jerked back at Loche’s voice, making the barrel shake, and Loche had to grip it so her sudden movement wouldn’t make it fall over, taking her with it.

“Sorry,” he mumbled when it finally stilled. “I heard you wanted to be alone, but I just wanted to say hi.”

Lessia gripped the edge of the barrel as she stared back at him. He seemed… not calmer but focused, no pain brimming in his eyes as they met hers, and she heard herself order, “Sit.”

“Are you sure? I don’t need to.” Loche threw a look at the dance floor, but no one was paying them any attention, not with the drinks flowing and music building.

“I’m sure.” She smiled at him, patting the barrel beside her. “Sit.”

As he did what she said, hoisting himself on top of it much more effortlessly than she’d crawled onto her own, he shot her a smile back. “You’re not dancing?”

She shook her head, eyes darting to her own ship for a second.

Loche nodded once. “Raine’s party just arrived. I was heading over there myself to greet them, but I heard they couldn’t find Raine, so I thought I’d come here to check first.”

Lessia had a suspicion about exactly where Raine was, since her sister hadn’t been sighted, either, and she’d heard some strange noises when she’d finally returned to the ship to drop the daggers she’d been given in preparation for tomorrow, but if they wanted some time alone, she would not be the one to out them.

So she only mumbled something incoherent as her eyes drifted toward her friends again.

A silence settled between them, but it wasn’t a loaded one, and she turned back toward Loche when she sensed him watching her.

“I’m sorry for what I put you through,” he blurted when their eyes met again, and she didn’t have time to do more than gape when he continued. “I… just wanted to have it said.”

Lessia knew very well why these apologies were streaming out of people. She’d heard enough of them as she walked through different groups of people on the ships today. People were worried, scared that by the end of tomorrow, it would be too late.

“I’m sorry too,” she said, offering him a weak smile. “We really messed this up, didn’t we?”

Loche’s lips lifted into an equally forced smile. “Maybe we did. Maybe we didn’t. Maybe this was exactly what we were meant to do.”

She eyed him for a moment, making sure he was sincere. “Maybe,” she responded.

Because maybe they’d been exactly what each other needed in those moments—a beacon of hope, a mutual understanding, a bond between misunderstood people.

Loche’s mouth twitched like he was reading her thoughts. “Make sure you bring the same rage tomorrow as when Craven dared open his mouth.”

Lessia huffed a laugh, even knowing the older man’s fate. “I’ll do my best. And… you do the same, all right?”

She’d heard from the others about Meyah—that she was Loche’s mother—and while she’d been shocked, there was something in her that had known that he was different. That he wasn’t entirely human, that like herself, he was… something else.

Loche dipped his chin, and he began to make his way off the barrel when one of his men signaled him, and they both noted Raine and Frelina walking over the brow between their ship and Loche’s. But as he was about to walk away, he turned to her again, placing a hand over her own.

“I’m happy you have him,” he said in a voice that should have been too soft to be the regent’s. “I truly am. He’s… he’s a good man, Lessia.”

She smiled at him, not a forced one this time. “I know.”

Loche nodded again before heading over to the man who’d waved him down, saying something to her sister that had her turn around and head Lessia’s way while Raine quickly disappeared to the other ship.

That warmth sneaking through her body took a permanent spot in Lessia’s chest.

She and Loche would be all right. She believed that now.