Page 55 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile (Compelling Fates Saga #3)

Frelina

T he anticipation in the air was so palpable that Frelina felt like she could reach out, rip a piece from the starry sky, and pop it into her mouth.

All day, the humans on the ships had prepared for the war they expected to descend upon them tomorrow, finding their weapons and their positions and saying what needed to be said to their friends and families.

But it wasn’t just war nerves that made the atmosphere electric. Loche had declared that there would be a feast tonight, and amidst all the sharp and shiny weapons, some of the humans had dragged up instruments, gathering them on the four ships right behind Loche’s own.

Others had huddled together over small ship stoves and open fires, cooking whatever they could come up with, creating what, at least to Frelina, looked like a lavish feast, with bread, soup, fish, and even meat being plated and sent across the ships, ensuring all would be able to fill their stomachs.

Barrels of wine had also been carried out, and when she’d walked past a group of Loche’s horrifying soldiers—she honestly didn’t understand how Lessia hadn’t fled the nation as soon as she’d laid eyes on those birdlike masks—they’d pressed a wooden cup into her hands with a curt “Keep track of it, or you’ll have to drink directly from the tap. ”

Frelina had mostly stayed in the background, apart from when Kerym lost his shit at Merrick, and she’d spent fifteen minutes scolding all three Fae warriors, telling them it wasn’t the time to tell Merrick what to do.

Besides, she wanted him near her sister at all times. She firmly believed he, out of anyone, could keep her alive.

Elessia listened to him, even when he didn’t believe it, and Frelina had seen how he’d directed the Faelings and even some of the humans earlier in the day. They all had a lot of respect for the Fae, and not because they were frightened of him.

Frelina snorted to herself as she leaned her arms on the railing of Rioner’s ship, watching as the humans started gathering, the first hesitant ones beginning to fill their plates.

At least they didn’t respect him only because they feared him. Merrick knew what he was talking about; it was clear to anyone who deigned to listen a second to his grumpy voice. So if he believed he could save Elessia, so did Frelina.

She moved to look at the deck behind her.

Speaking of grumpy Fae…

She had watched Raine today, too—how he’d steered clear of the barrels of wine; how he’d refused to meet her eyes when she’d yelled at him, Kerym, and Thissian; how much guilt coiled Raine’s shoulders when he’d finally retreated into his chambers when someone had offered him a bow and arrow and he’d jerked back as if they would burn him.

Too much of a reminder of Solana, Frelina guessed.

Her thoughts went to the beautiful blonde Fae Raine had shown her in her memories, and she wondered what she’d think of Frelina.

“I’m just trying to keep him alive,” Frelina whispered to herself, wondering if the words would ever reach Raine’s mate. “He’s still yours. He’ll always be yours. I hope it’s okay that I just… borrow him for a little?”

She wanted to think that the feisty female she’d watched die would approve—that hopefully she loved Raine enough to see he was only using Frelina as a distraction.

Just for this war.

Just for today, Frelina promised herself as she made her way down into the depths of the ship, trying to ignore the butterflies awakening in her stomach at the prospect of seeing Raine’s heated eyes again.

She didn’t bother knocking before she opened his door, and she wasn’t surprised to find him on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his blades—which he’d apparently been attempting to polish, based on the rags spread out everywhere—left on the floor.

“Can I come in?” she asked as she closed the door and made her way over.

“Haven’t you already done so?” Raine didn’t look her way as she halted before the bed.

Nerves kicked in, and Frelina wiped her hands on her trousers, deciding it was better to sit down on the end of the bed rather than stand above him.

“The others are beginning to eat up there,” she said after Raine had only sighed twice.

“So?”

She rolled her eyes at the Fae, who wore an expression fit for a child. “So? I am guessing you’re hungry. That’s why I came down here to get you.”

Raine laughed, but not in his usual teasing way.

It was raspy and brutal and mean.

“I doubt that’s why you came down here.”

She couldn’t stop the blood rushing to her face, especially when Raine glanced at her down his nose.

“You came here so I’d fuck you.” There was no warmth in Raine’s voice.

No lilt of friendship or even respect.

“Little Rantzier can’t get enough of the mind-bender’s fingers, is that it? You came here to use me again. To settle your battle nerves with an orgasm, perhaps?”

“No.” She began shaking her head when Raine continued.

“Don’t lie, it’s unbecoming. Remember that I’ve seen how lonely you are.” He laughed that awful laugh again. “You’re so damn afraid of dying alone that you’ll take any scrap I’ll give you.”

“Stop it,” Frelina snarled. “You’re just feeling guilty and taking it out on me.”

“Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t suck my cock if I whipped it out right now.

Anything for a little company, is that it?

” Raine began sitting up, and she couldn’t stop herself from meeting his cold eyes.

“So fucking sad. I thought your sister was broken… but it’s you who are the broken one, isn’t it? ”

“Stop it, Raine,” she repeated. “I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work on me.”

“Don’t say my name like that,” he growled before he began ripping his shirt off.

“I said stop,” Frelina said again, her hands gripping the blanket when Raine’s eyes went crazed.

Gods, he was such an idiot.

She held back a scoff. As if she was the broken one.

“Isn’t this what you came for?” Raine was in her face now. “For a quick fuck before we all die tomorrow?”

The harsh lines of his face twisted and blurred as rage sprang into her eyes, and Frelina shot up from the bed when the urge to slap him became almost unbearable.

“Fuck you,” she hissed as she started toward the door, that bottomless depth of loneliness fighting to wrap its sharp claws around her heart even though she knew why Raine was doing this.

“You’re pushing me away because it’s easier to deal with the guilt than maybe feeling happy for a change. You’re such an idiot.”

She fumbled with the handle. “Fuck,” she swore again, and despite the rage burning hot within her, tears clouded her vision as another rush of cold loneliness feathered across her skin.

As more stupid tears made their way down her cheeks, she kept messing up when she tried to open the door, and angry sobs shook her until she hiccuped loudly, the sound muted only by her fist slamming against the damned door so she could get out.

A hand snaked around her waist as she struggled, and she hiccuped again. “L-leave me alone. I might know why you’re doing this, but that doesn’t mean I need to take it.”

“Frelina. Fuck, Frelina, wait.” Another curse brushed her ear, and she struggled against Raine’s hold.

“Get off me!” she screamed, praying that Lessia and Merrick had returned from wherever they’d sneaked off to and would hear her. “Get the fuck off me!”

But no one came to the door, and Raine didn’t release her.

“Fuck,” he snapped again. “I’m sorry, little Rantzier. I didn’t… I didn’t mean it. I was just… I don’t know. Fuck! Please stop crying. I can’t take it.”

“F-fuck you,” she stuttered, fighting against his grip around her waist, kicking her legs and scratching at his arms. “I am not crying over you! And I said, let me go!”

She didn’t need to ask again.

Frelina almost fell when Raine removed his arm, but she quickly moved away from his steadying hand on her shoulder when she regained her balance.

Raine was panting as much as she was, and she fucking hated him for the tears that streamed down his cheeks as he stared back at her.

“I’m sorry, Frelina.” Raine reached out a hand, which she slapped away. “I… I fucked up.”

“Fuck you.” She hiccuped again, but she’d gotten control over the tears, angrily wiping her sleeves across her face to dry them. “You’re such a bastard, Raine.”

“I know.” His head hung between his shoulders. “I really am.”

“You’re an asshole.” Her panting slowed as she stared at him, watching her words land but not hurt.

Almost… almost as if he wanted them, as if he welcomed them.

Gods, of course he fucking did.

And he said Merrick was a martyr…

“I know.” Raine lifted his eyes to hers. “I know I am all those things, and I’m sorry you had to be the one to deal with it.”

Frelina slammed her hand against the door again. “Stop it!”

Raine didn’t move as she stepped up to him, tapping a finger hard into his chest.

“I get that you’re feeling guilty. I get that it hurts!” She refused to let him look away when he tried, her gaze holding his hostage. “I get it. But I thought we were friends, Raine! You could fucking talk to me instead of trying to drive me away.”

“I know.” His eyes flitted between hers as he mumbled the only words he seemed to be able to express.

Frelina continued poking his chest, emphasizing each word she hissed at him. “You are a fucking adult, Raine. Use your words.”

“I…” Raine hesitated but finally seemed to get it together when she widened her eyes at him.

“I just don’t know what the right thing to do is.

With everything going on… war… emotions are high, Frelina, and I just don’t want you to take whatever this is the wrong way.

For you to think I have anything to offer you. ”