Page 21 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile (Compelling Fates Saga #3)

Frelina

H er tears had finally dried.

Frelina’s cheeks were stained from the salt that mingled with the dust and blood there, but she didn’t move to wipe them.

Instead, she kept her gaze on her father’s crumpled body, letting her eyes wander from the dark stain on the wood to his dusty uniform to his unseeing eyes, which remained open, staring into the nothingness that was death.

The pain that had felt as if it would burst out of her, cracking her rib cage wide open, had also softened.

It hadn’t disappeared, but it was as if the pain were shifting, finding room to fill every one of her cells, rebuilding her from within.

She’d thought the worst day in her life would always be the one when she said goodbye to her mother. Watching the woman who had raised her—the person Frelina loved the most in her small world—waste away, and not being able to stop herself from picking up her mother’s visions of pain and suffering…

Frelina slammed her eyelids shut.

It had been awful.

But today? Today had been worse. Not just seeing her father—the only person she’d had for years—die.

But seeing—fucking feeling—how it broke Elessia…

Frelina couldn’t help but whimper.

It had been so clear to Frelina, so clear to the brothers beside her, that when Elessia realized it hadn’t just been one of the guard’s visions, something irreparable shattered within her sister.

And when Elessia started hurting herself, not to numb the mental pain but because she believed there was no other choice?

Bile still burned Frelina’s throat after refusing to take her eyes off her sister’s turmoil.

As if by watching she could absorb some of it, take over the heavy burden Elessia appeared to carry alone.

I love you. I love you so much. Please, please don’t let him die too, Elessia had whispered as she dragged her broken body out of the room.

Frelina’s heart hadn’t been able to take it.

Especially not when a vision followed—one Frelina was certain her sister hadn’t shared with anyone: an image of a crumpled paper, of a sentence that had altered Elessia’s course forever.

For only in their ultimate sacrifice can a new world be born—the world they have dreamed of, battled for, and wept over.

Another whimper forced its way out of her.

“It’s all…” Kerym started, but then trailed off.

He finally decided on “We’re here,” apparently realizing as well as she did that nothing would ever be all right again.

Turning her head in his direction, she met his eyes when the ship lurched violently.

“What was that?” Thissian straightened from where he’d folded into himself, his arms wrapped so tightly around his legs that his ankles were white.

“I don’t…” Kerym startled when the vessel tilted again, something loud thundering above them.

The entire ceiling seemed to vibrate, and for a second, Frelina was worried it might cave in. But then it stilled again, although the silence that followed was almost worse.

“Wh-what is going on?” Frelina asked shakily.

That couldn’t have been Elessia, could it?

Her sister might have had determination blazing in her gaze when she left the cabin, but she didn’t have any abilities that would shake a large ship like this one.

“I don’t know,” Kerym muttered. “Come here, little Rantzier.”

The dark-haired Fae waved for her to move to the side so that he could cover her, like he’d done when Elessia had been tortured. “Your sister will surely come back to haunt me if I don’t at least try to keep you alive.”

Try to keep you alive.

While she hadn’t spent much time with Kerym or the others before everything, she had noticed they weren’t ones for false hope, and she very much doubted she’d be alive for much longer. Still, she shuffled into the spot where the wall curved slightly, allowing Kerym to shield her almost entirely.

If Elessia wasn’t successful in killing the king… then Frelina would have to try.

She didn’t expect to succeed, but like her father… like her sister… she’d go down fighting.

She was a Rantzier, after all.

Some of that wickedness their family was known for flowed within her veins, and she’d use every last drop of it should she need to.

They remained silent for a while, only their shallow breaths and wild heartbeats filling the musty air around them.

Then the ship heeled again.

Not as violently as the first time, more… focused, as if whatever was doing this wasn’t in a rush anymore.

“Something left the ship,” Thissian murmured.

“Yes, but what?” Kerym asked.

Neither Thissian nor Frelina responded, but a ripple went through the air once more, something like sorrow-filled acceptance thickening it, joining the stale and dead scent.

If Elessia had jumped…

If the king and his men had left…

They were stuck here.

Despite her best efforts, Frelina’s bottom lip began trembling.

She didn’t want to die in this stupid cabin. She hadn’t even seen Ellow yet, the one thing she’d promised to do when her mother passed.

She hadn’t gotten to know the sister she’d missed for more than half her life.

She hadn’t even loved yet… had never been kissed, had not even been hugged by anyone outside her family, had never felt even close to what she knew Elessia felt for Merrick, and he for her.

She’d never even experienced heartbreak, not in the way Elessia had when that regent rejected her.

Perhaps that wasn’t what anyone in their right mind would seek, but after twenty-four years of life with parents who meant well but tried to shield her from ever feeling anything other than joy…

Frelina wanted that kind of pain—the kind she’d read about in books—that only love for another could bring.

Frelina wanted it all.

All the feelings.

All the joy.

All the sadness.

All the love.

All the hurt.

Even now… even seeing her father from behind Kerym’s broad back, she couldn’t regret those wishes.

She just… wanted to live.

“Someone’s coming,” Kerym hissed when low thudding made dust whirl from the ceiling, interrupting her thoughts. “Thissian!”

His brother shifted as well, trying to line up his shoulders with Kerym’s to make sure they would face any attack first. But even so, Frelina could peek through the small sliver between their muscular torsos, and she held her breath as the door before them creaked, then flew open with a loud thud.

The brothers protecting her must have relaxed because the small space between them disappeared, but it didn’t matter. Frelina recognized the voice shattering the silence immediately.

“You’re alive!”

Raine. It was the grumpy drunkard who’d pushed his way into her mind so effortlessly that she’d spent every day after that finding ways into his, something she’d learned drove him crazy.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Kerym responded, tiredness sneaking through the words she expected he meant to sound teasing. “Took you long enough to find us.”

Frelina started to stir, moving to get out from the cramped spot, when Thissian stiffened again, pressing her into the wall.

“That one is one of Rioner’s guards,” he snarled. “Kill him!”

She could barely breathe as her back scraped against the damp wood, and only because Thissian appeared to move forward, pulling at his shackles, did she hear what Raine said next.

“He was blood-sworn… He’s not any longer.” There was a brief pause, and she wouldn’t be shocked if it was because Raine drank from that stupid flask of his. “He is no threat to you.”

Air was beginning to get scarce in the small space, especially with the large Fae refusing to give her an inch of breathing room, and she used the little she had to get out, “You’re choking me.”

“Is that the angry one?” Raine’s voice was louder now. “You got her back there?”

Finally.

Finally, the brothers moved, allowing Frelina to peel herself off the wall, and she gulped down a few heavy breaths, grateful that the open door let in some of the fresh air from above.

Her eyes met bloodshot hazel as she lifted her head, and she quickly forced up the mental walls around her mind.

Raine’s mouth twitched ever so slightly as he let his gaze trail across her face, and she glared at him until he moved his burning eyes away.

She didn’t need to continue staring at him to understand where his gaze fell next, noting the shoulders flying up toward his ears, his back curving as if in pain.

“Can you get these off?” Frelina asked, letting her own eyes drop to her bound hands when it appeared as if everyone in the room had fallen silent, a wave of despair she knew could only come from Raine and Ardow realizing who lay in a heap those few feet away.

“Of course.”

It was the guard who responded, and while she’d heard when Raine told them of his blood oath, she couldn’t help but recoil as he bent down to unlock the clasps of her chains with a large, rusty key.

“I know.” The guard spoke before she had a chance to apologize. “There, you’re all set.”

She was grateful he didn’t offer her a hand, because unlike Thissian and Kerym, she didn’t feel like getting right to her feet when her wrists were finally free.

If she got up…

If she started walking…

That would mean it was time to leave her father behind, and that she wasn’t ready for yet.

More tears filled her eyes, even if she could hardly understand how she had any more of them within her. They soon started falling down her cheeks like a silent, soft stream weaving its way across an island, and Frelina bent her knees, hiding her face behind them.

“Let’s give Lessia and Merrick some time alone before we go up. I think they need it.”

Raine’s voice was soft as he spoke, and even without the image he allowed her to see within his mind, showing her that she could take all the time she needed, she knew he didn’t hold the others back just because of his friend and her sister.

Her body still shook when his large one slumped down beside her, and she didn’t stop him when he pulled her to him, tucking her body under his arm.

Another image flickered before her eyes.

Her sister atop a wyvern, climbing up its head as a fire roared beneath them. Elessia hesitating before Rioner when the guard begged her to kill him. Rioner disappearing within the deep sea as Merrick fell to his knees.

Frelina lowered her mental walls for a second to let Raine hear a soft Thank you.

She hadn’t understood how much she needed to see that there was still some fight left within Elessia, but that second of hesitation before the king had told Frelina all she needed to know.

Her sister might be broken… but she hadn’t given up. Something within Elessia still wanted to live.

Lifting her head, Frelina blinked a few times.

Now there was some time…

Now that she knew, that Merrick knew, that the rest knew…

They could come up with a plan to keep Elessia alive.

She let her eyes find her father again, holding on to her legs as the pain struck her like a knife and allowing Raine to grip her shoulders more firmly—to keep her up or keep her together, she didn’t know.

Moving so she looked up at him, she lowered the protection keeping him out of her mind.

He’s dead.

She needed to say it somehow—to process it. But she couldn’t do it out loud. Not yet.

I know. Raine’s eyes didn’t waver from hers as he responded.

It hurts.

I know. Another squeeze of her shoulders.

It’s not fair.

I know. Raine’s words wobbled a little bit, and she realized he did know.

Frelina watched the muscle in his jaw tense.

She’d heard about his mate being killed. She couldn’t imagine his pain, not even having glimpsed it when she managed to catch him with his guard down once on the ship on their way to Ellow.

It couldn’t even be comparable to her own.

A shudder racked her before she realized she hadn’t raised her walls again.

I’m sorry! She tried to break away from his gaze as she quickly shut the door to her mind, but he wouldn’t let her.

Don’t be. Raine’s eyes flitted between hers. Solana always said no hurt was the same. We all hurt in different ways and for different things, but that doesn’t take away anyone’s right to pain.

Frelina nodded as she watched his hazel eyes brighten to almost all green as he thought of Solana, of their love, of their hurt.

She felt it all.

It was beautiful and bright and utterly heartbreaking at the same time.

A sad smile pulled at Raine’s features as he slipped his flask out of his tunic.

After taking a long sip, the emotions playing across his face muting, he offered it to her. But even though her pain was raw, fighting so hard within her that it felt as if it could burst through her skin from the pressure, she shook her head.

“I want to feel it,” she whispered. “I need to feel it. I need to feel it all.”

Because the way her life was shaping up, she doubted it would be the long one of the Fae, and if so, she needed to feel every damned emotion she’d longed for before the end.

Starting now.