Page 58

Chapter 58

Thevin

I killed a man.

The worst kind of man.

It didn’t matter that he seemed to want to die, I’d given him that end without hesitation.

I stared up at the pale blue stone that made Saelyn’s ceiling in the castle ruins, one hand tucked behind my head, one wrapped around her as she still slept on my chest. Dawn wasn’t far away based on the dim light of the room she’d been given to use, next to the Baron’s .

King Philius had forced us to leave as soon as the body had burned. He had ushered us up to Sae’s room, saying food would be sent, and we were not to leave until he retrieved us in the morning. I didn’t know what excuse he’d made, but based on the dark circles under Sae’s eyes and the bruise forming at the base of her neck, I didn’t resist his orders, knowing a quiet rest would be good for us both.

We hadn’t discussed it. We’d taken a few bites of mutton and fell into bed, both of us asleep within minutes of lying together, holding onto one another as if we’d never get to do this again.

I’d slept next to Sae before, but never like this, where I could feel her breathe.

I didn’t know how the rise and fall of a chest could be so exquisite, but there it was in her. She slept on her stomach, one arm draped across me, one sprawled through the white sheets. Her black hair spilled over me in beautiful waves of a tangled mess, and I took a minute just to pretend. Pretend this was our cottage in the woods. Pretend there was a leak in the thatch I’d need to fix that morning, and that the potatoes were ready for harvest. Pretend we had planned a walk through the woods to gather mushrooms, and I’d gather bread and cheese and a blanket so we could picnic. Then I’d lay her down on a soft bed of grass somewhere, loving her as I’m sure we were meant to do.

It was the future I imagined for us. It was the future I wasn’t sure we’d ever see.

Tomorrow we’d descend into the Blight Line , and Sae would be used to lure the Blightress to our forces and the Wieldwryns would act.

As with most things in my time as a Runner , I didn’t want to do it.

With just one word from her, I’d run away, find Lanna , and leave all of this. We were young. We were born into this fight we didn’t deserve to have to see.

I’d killed a man.

The worst kind of man, but still, I had taken a life.

I let that settle with me as I felt the tears fall down my face. I knew I would kill him all over again, but there it was, the hardest point to face.

I lived my life as a Runner in the Four’s army.

I’d been trained to kill since I was fifteen.

Four years later, I’d done it.

What would another four years bring to my life?

I swallowed back the ever-present lump in my throat, careful not to wake her.

It didn’t matter anymore.

Whatever fight came next, I wouldn’t let her face it alone.