Page 26

Chapter 26

Saelyn

Thevin spoke softly, quietly, easing me into the reality of the world I would face outside of the forest that raised me. I’d been sheltered all my seventeen years. I knew that. But I did not realize the depth of the false life I lived in Felgren .

How could I have known the horrors that awaited just outside my mother’s shield of crystalized green shards? How could I ever have imagined the dire need for my mother’s army of magic wielders to defeat this Blightress ?

I watched Thevin in silence, taking in what he told me about the creatures he had faced, the friends he had lost.

I didn’t know loss— I knew loneliness and discontent.

Thevin , however, knew them all. He’d faced each one in his life and somehow still came back every summer—happy, carefree, teasing me and falling…for me.

It could be that I was different enough in his life that he wanted to cling to those summers to avoid what he knew was the truth. And with that thought, a new fear rose within me. What if he did not want to be with me , but he wanted those warm summer days instead of his cold, dark ones? What if he wanted the innocence of a young woman who didn’t know the horrors he knew?

“ Thank you for sharing this,” I whispered in a rasp as he finished his last story of battle. I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders, breaking my gaze from him to watch the flames dance in my hearth. “ Thank you for telling me the truth.” I reached out and took his hand. “ I’m so sorry, Thevin . I’m so sorry you’ve lived with these burdens, and I wasn’t there to be your friend through all of them.”

He glanced at me and then around the room. “ You’ve always been with me, Sae . I’ve always had this place to hope to come back to.” He wove his fingers through mine and kissed the back of my hand. “ I’ve always had you to come back to.”

My heart raced at his touch. But that inkling of fear grew, fueled by my own inexperience of life. Something told me what he hoped for was just a dream. Something told me that if I was willing to take the risk of becoming his, I’d need to first prove to him that I was more than just a girl trapped in the safety of a forest.

I could do what he did. I could fight. I had power, I was strong, and I could show him that I was more than a simple girl who danced through wildflowers. Then , he’d see a different side of me. Then , he could decide if I was what he truly wanted or just a dream to chase away the nightmares he faced.

“ Tell me what you’re thinking,” he urged, and I took my hand back from his.

“ I’m thinking I’m ready. I’m thinking it’s about time I leave this place and become useful. I’m thinking,” I paused, watching his lips tug upward. “ I’m thinking it’s time for bed.”

I rose from the floor, flicking the blanket into the air and back onto my bed, pulling down the sheets and fluffing the pillows. He reached the other side of the bed and grabbed one along with the blanket.

“ I’ll take the chaise,” he muttered, tossing the bedding he’d hoarded onto the long lounge chair.

“ You don’t want to sleep in the bed?” We’d slept in my bed together plenty of times as children.

He fell back onto the chair, arms behind his head, kicking his boots to the floor and crossing his feet at the ankles which fell past the length of the chaise. “ I won’t get a wink of sleep with the way you toss around while you sleep.”

A decorative pillow, embroidered with a field of yellow buttercups, hit him square in the face, jolting him from his cool indifference. He sat up, tossing his blanket aside.

“ Fine ,” I said cooly, “sleep on your lounge chair, but don’t come crawling to me when you fall off in the middle of the night.” I laughed, pulling my night clothes from the armoire. When he didn’t respond to my playful jab, I looked over my shoulder to see him sitting up, elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands over his face, muttering something to himself.

Cursing words that would give me a scolding from Pah - Pah , I padded to his side, sitting next to him. “ It must have been hard for you,” I spoke lightly. “ To relive all of what you’ve seen out there.” I laid my head on his shoulder. “ I’ll take the chaise, you take the bed. I’ll fit better on this thing anyway.”

He peeked out from his hands. “ I’m not taking your bed from you. And on your birthday of all nights.”

“ My bed is enormous.” I gestured to the gargantuan thing. The large headboard and footboard were carved from a maple tree with etchings of flowers, trees, and delicate creatures with wings. “ I promise to stick to one side and leave you completely to the other.” I nudged his arm. “ You won’t even know I’m there.”

He laughed, rich and full, tilting his head back in the moment and leaving me confused as to what was so funny. I stood up, taking my night clothes with me and headed to my washing room calling, “ I’ve won this argument. Besides , we need good rest before our journey tomorrow, so come wash your face and brush your teeth!” The last word I shouted before I closed the door. I shimmied out of my cerulean gown, quickly stepping into my soft cotton pants and pulling my nightshirt over my head. A soft knock came and I kicked aside my dress, opening the door for Thevin to join me. I began to braid my long, black waves back as he leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed.

He looked me up and down and chuckled.

“ What ?” I asked, finishing the plait and tying it back with a strip of ribbon.

“ I’ve just never seen you in pants.”

I glanced down, wondering if my choice in nightclothes made him uncomfortable. “ I don’t like sleeping in a nightgown anymore. My skirts get all tangled up in my legs.”

He followed me to the basin and took the jar of mouth paste I handed him. “ More evidence of how much you move around when you sleep.”

I scowled his way before splashing my face with water and finding a fresh towel to dry my skin. He scooped up the minty paste and began brushing at his teeth with his fingers.

“ Sorry I don’t have another brush.” I shrugged, starting on my teeth as well.

He finished and spit into the basin, watching it drain into the small hole at the bottom. He wiped at his own face and said, “ It’s fine that you wear pants. Most women outside of Felgren wear them.”

I spit my own paste into the basin, cocking my head. “ During the day?”

He nodded, turning to leave. “ It’s easier to fight an enemy when you have free movement of your legs.”

I thought about that for a moment while extinguishing the flame from the sconces on the bathroom wall. Thevin was already in the bed, lying flat on his back, hands once again behind his head as he stared up at my painted ceiling. I dimmed the fire to a low crackling with a white wisp of my magic and slipped under the covers, far away to the other side.

“ Happy birthday, Sae ,” he murmured softly.

If I’d been a braver person, I’d have reached for his hand again. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to curl up onto his chest and feel what it was like to be held by the best friend I loved. Instead , I tilted my head to catch a glimpse of his features in the soft light. His eyes were closed, and I could just make out the long, light lashes, the upturned curl of his lips, and the sharp line where his jaw turned, meeting the base of his ear. I could study his face all night and never tire, which was ridiculous and had me chiding myself all over again.

“ Thank you,” I whispered back, turning away from him completely and curling my legs to my stomach. I closed my eyes, determined to prove myself to him, to my mother, to the world, and retrieve my father from the clutches of the woman who had broken everything.