Page 53

Chapter 53

Saelyn

A ring wove over my right forefinger the moment my gown formed over my body. I held it up to the flicker of firelight, in awe of the representation of my power.

A silver band was topped with a teardrop shaped stone in a hazy white to the point of becoming almost clear, with long streaks of black lines running through the stone every which way. It was chaos, it was beautiful.

“ Runners , you’re with me to the eastern gates. We will inform the rest there and prepare a timeline to invade. Move out.”

I heard Lanna’s call and turned around too late, watching Thevin leave with the rest of them. My heart sank as he left, but I assured myself he was in no danger joining the forces at the new Blight Line .

“ It is beautiful, Saelyn ,” my mother said, taking my hand back in hers to admire my conduit ring.

“ I’ve never seen such a stone,” Ilyenna whispered, having silently slipped up beside me.

“ Never ?” I asked, holding it up to the light again.

“ Never ,” she replied, glancing to my mother and her friends. They shook their heads in a solidified no.

“ It doesn’t have a name?”

“ If it does, I do not know it.”

I twisted my lips to the side, lowering my hand and finally taking a look at my gown. It held a similarity to the style I’d worn in the Spire . But instead of a powder blue, I was draped in the green forest of Felgren . Intricate gold designs woven into the sheer fabric wound up the front with slits in the side that left nothing of my legs to the imagination. Long sleeves billowed around my arms down to my wrists and a belt of metal golden vines tightened across my waist. The neckline of the gown was open and daring, curving downward across my chest in a deep V . I gasped at my shoes, which I admitted I loved most, regardless of how my feet arched uncomfortably. They extended my height at least three inches off the ground. I pulled back the sheer fabric to admire them.

“ Are those…” Ilyenna bent, squinting at the band around my toes and ankle. “ Rhyzolms ?”

Everyone crowded in to look. Even Madame Zoreyah left her corner with her daughter and squinted to comment on the Offering clothing I had summoned somehow deep in my subconscious.

“ I would have thought blue,” I laughed nervously, running my fingers over all the details I wore.

My mother explained, “ Every channeler who accepts their Offering is draped in varying shades and styles of green. It’s a tribute to the forest that fuels you.” Her smile lit her eyes in a shade of Felgren . At this height, I finally reached hers. She pulled me into her arms, squeezing me tightly while whispering in my ear, “ He would be so proud of you. I am so proud of you, Little Love .”

“ I —” Thoughts raced through my mind of how I had lied to her. Of how I let her believe I did not know how I could predict the Blightress’s next moves or how I had never told her I had the power to create my own spells and could turn back time. “ I will try to bring him home, Mama .” I kissed her cheek. “ I promise, I will try.”

She squeezed me tighter as if she needed to hold on. As if I was that anchor, keeping her in place and keeping her from falling to her grief, her pain of waiting seventeen years for her love and father of her only child.

I just hoped I was strong enough to save them all.

* * *

I wandered the ruins of the castle with my uncle while the armies set up their new base. He told me stories of his childhood with my mother and with his mother, the former Queen of Hyrithia . She had fallen during the battle of her city ten years ago—her death a sacrifice to buy time for her people to escape. Many of them had not. He spoke to me of his time in Felgren , training under my mother and father and how it had taken the tides of war to bring him into his power.

“ And so you cut your hands from your body to sever the connection to the Blightress ? Did it work?”

“ Yes . The Blightress had no hold over me after that.”

“ And the others? You said there were others who carried the black hands of the Black Fever . What of them?”

We looked out at his broken city. He gripped the gray-blue stone of the tower—the only tower left intact. “ She either called them to her lands to siphon their power through those trees…or…”

I frowned. “ Or what?”

“ Or ,” he lifted his head to the east where tents rose along the Blight Line . Dozens of soldiers monitored the clear delineation of black, standing guard over the forces gathered in the city. “ Or , they could have their hands cut from their wrists.”

“ That’s a terrible choice.”

“ It’s the choice I gave them. They could walk into her lands, or they could sever their connection to her. Most chose the latter.”

“ And these syphoner trees…” I bit my lip, searching the line of soldiers for one familiar face. “ Do they kill the channeler?”

“ I don’t believe they do.”

“ But the people within them can’t be severed from the tree?”

He looked down at me with the pain of grief I knew well from my mother. “ That we don’t know. We have never…successfully released a channeler from those trees alive.”

He was quiet for a moment, staring out at the northwestern peaks where the Attatock Mountains lay hundreds of miles away.

“ You know someone,” I started. “ You know someone trapped in those trees.”

“ I am the reason two people are trapped in those trees,” he spoke softly. “ Renn , my guardswoman, has a twin sister. The Blightress stole her from us years ago. I fear she has become a syphoner tree and that one day her sister will find her, molded to the wood as a source of power for the Blightress .”

I nodded solemnly. “ And the second?”

He met my gaze then. “ Do you often speak with Pompeii ? The Baron’s Overseer ?”

Taken back at the question, I smiled in missing him. “ Of course! I call him Pah - Pah .” I laughed, turning my head south. “ I could never get his name right as a child, so it stuck. He is the closest to a grandfather I’ll ever have, and I love him dearly.” I shifted on my feet, feeling the ache from the shape of my shoes. “ He was always there to raise me when my mother…when my mother couldn’t.”

“ Your mother loves you.”

“ I know my mother loves me,” I snapped. My cheeks flushed and I gave a nervous laugh. “ Sorry . I - I know she did her best. And I understand why her best wasn’t more of what I needed.”

“ You are astute in your conclusions of people, Saelyn . A trait I believe your father gave you.”

I nodded, having heard our similarities my whole life.

“ It’s a terrible shame,” he continued, “that I got to know your father and you did not.”

“ He was your friend, my father?”

He laughed, deep and hearty. “ I wish I could say it was so. I didn’t make it…easy to stay in the same room with me for more than a few minutes back then. I was a foolish Prince of Hyrithia , though hopefully, not a foolish King .”

“ You don’t seem so foolish to me,” I said.

“ Thank you, Saelyn . I have tried to make amends for the mistakes I’ve made.”

“ And the second?” I asked again, catching a glimpse of Lanna’s golden hair, walking the Blight Line and pausing every so often to speak to the soldiers at their stations.

“ The second?”

“ The second person you know trapped in those trees.”

He hefted a heavy sigh. “ Mychael ,” he said with rasp in his voice. “ My loyal guardsman and Pompeii’s love.”

I gasped. “ Pompeii’s companion is trapped in a syphoner tree?”

He shook his head, explaining, “ They were not companions. Perhaps they would have been if they’d been given more time. All I know is that they loved each other, and I tore them apart.”

I placed my hand over his orange flames, cool to the touch. “ The Blightress tore them apart, not you. I have only just met you and I see that you love your people. Please do not hold the guilt of something you could not control. Pah - Pah is happy in Felgren , and if there is a way to return Mychael , you’ll find it.”

He hummed, nodding. “ I’m glad you came, Saelyn . Now , let’s keep exploring. There’s a hidden staircase near the throne room that leads to the guard tower. Care to see if it’s still intact?”

* * *

We walked the castle for a few hours. I could ignore the ache in my feet for a few minutes at a time, but the stairs were killing me. My mother joined us eventually, laughing with the King about their misadventures as children. I didn’t complain even once about my shoes, loving the sound of my mother talking about her life.

“ Where did my father grow up?” I asked finally. It was a question I’d been longing to know for years, but was too afraid to ask.

My mother perked up in an unexpected happiness. “ In the Hallow Marshes .” She pointed to the stones on my shoes. “ His family mined rhyzolm. The people still do there. It’s the only place on the isle where you can find it.”

I jabbed my foot forward, pulling the length of my gown up to see. Five green stones adorned the wrapping at my ankle. “ Is that why you send lapis conduits there?” I asked, stepping back down on my foot and grimacing at the pain, wondering when it would be appropriate to take them off.

“ You’re sending lapis conduits to the Hallow Marshes ?” my uncle questioned.

She lifted her chin, replying, “ Yes . We don’t need them. They do.”

“ Karus ,” he scolded, “we need every conduit.”

“ There are just a few, Philius . With the war, Revich’s people have had very few buyers to sell to. The lapis conduits help find rhyzolm with less danger to themselves. The amount of orphaned children has plummeted in the last decade.”

“ You didn’t run this by the Four? —”

“ I will not give up on his dream.”

“ His dream was to allow us to win this war and without all of the?—”

“ Don’t .” The lash came with a black glare at her brother. “ Don’t tell me about what he wanted for all of us. Don’t tell me what he would think or say.” She shook her head and turned around, headed toward the throne room where the Wieldwryns gathered. “ Just don’t, Philius .”

We watched her storm away in a flood of black skirts and white hair.

“ She doesn’t like to talk about him much,” I offered. “ She …struggles sometimes. To keep it all in.”

“ I see. Her temper doesn’t help either. It never really has.”

I chuckled. “ Now that I’m sure I did not get from her.”

He rubbed his short black hair. “ We can all be thankful for that, Saelyn .”

* * *

We ate a quiet dinner in the dining hall, surprisingly not as grand as the one I knew in the Fortress . Its walls had once been a midnight blue with a pattern of purple thistle painted along the doorways. Now , the walls were a blackened mess of ash and dust.

Our meal was a simple spread of bread and cheese. Philius had explained to me how Hyrithia used to be known for its fish, but since the Blightress had spread across the entire east coast down to the boarder of Felgren , they could no longer access the sea.

I ate in silence, listening to the details of the Dimming they planned, needing only a few weeks to gather all their forces to Hyrithia and march into the Blightress’s lands, where I would use my power to lure her there.

“ Which spell do you think most likely for the Blightress to sense?” Madame Zoreyah asked, tossing a bit of cheese to the giant cat at her feet.

My mother glanced to me, and I waited to hear if she’d tell them about the portal I’d attempted.

“ The sun. We’ll practice Simulair Solum this week. It’s the most likely to get her attention.”

“ What about the aftereffects?” my uncle questioned.

“ We don’t know if that will happen to Saelyn as well. I will explain tomorrow.” My questions were already on my tongue when she rose from her seat, finishing with, “ For now, I am exhausted. Saelyn , shall we head to our rooms?”

She held her hand out for me, and I pretended a yawn. “ I’d like to say goodnight to Thevin first if that’s alright.”

“ Alright ,” she agreed, moving toward the doors. “ But please have him escort you back into the castle. He will be sleeping out in the tents with the other Runners until the Dimming , so you will not get to see him as much as you’re used to.”

I wanted to frown and disagree. I would see him. I’d find a way to see him everyday, regardless of her warnings.

Instead , I nodded, plastering a contented smile on my face. She left and I rose, curtsying slightly and excusing myself from the room where my uncle struggled to hold back a grin as he watched me go.

I passed his guardswoman, Renn , in the hall, but she didn’t meet my eye, ignoring me completely as she headed to the dining hall behind me. I picked up my pace, hurrying as fast as I could in the high heeled shoes I looked forward to getting rid of.

I passed people in the streets of the city ruins. I lost count at fifty campsites, all of them raised for the soldiers in both armies, some of which would be joining us in the next few days from all over the isle.

Guards stopped me at the warped metal gates that led to the eastern side of the castle walls. Two men, clothed in the black garb of a Runner looked me up and down before one of them asked, “ You lost?”

“ No ,” I replied curtly. “ I’m going to see someone.”

“ You’ve found me,” said the other. They both broke into laughter at the jest on my behalf, and I caught the stale stench of bad ale on their breath.

I blew air out of my lips, wishing I was wearing my pants and shirt from the Spire instead of formal clothing that certainly did not belong at the Blight Line . “ Thevin ,” I interrupted. “ I’m looking for Thevin , second to Commander Lanna . Please point me in his direction if you would be so kind.”

“ Wait , wait,” the first one said, gesturing to his partner to quiet. “ You’re Saelyn , aren’t you?” He laughed again. “ Nym , did you hear that? This is the Baron’s daughter. The one Thevin doesn’t shut up about.” They broke into new laughter, making me rethink what I had told my uncle about my temper.

“ If you’re not going to help me,” I called, “then let me pass so I don’t have to speak to you two idiots any longer.” I stepped to the side to leave them.

The second blocked my path with his body. “ We’re just having a laugh, sweetheart. It’s been a bit dull around here until you showed up in this.” He gestured to my gown with greedy eyes. I had the unsettling urge to hit him across the face—something I’d never once done in my life.

He reached for my arm, but I pulled away just as he said, “ Maybe if we lead you to Thevin , you’ll think about taking us back to Felgren every summer.”

My rage boiled in my blood, and just as I turned to punch the first one in his big nose, he fell to the stone, keeled over and holding his side in pain.

I looked up in surprise as Lanna kicked the other in the back, knocking him into the wall.

“ Flynn !” she called with her hands cupped over her mouth. A young man rushed over from the tents that lined the outside gates. When he arrived, the two guards were still down, clutching body parts that I felt hadn’t been damaged quite enough yet. “ Relieve Nym and Temmor from their duties. I want them digging latrine pits for the rest of the week.”

The man she addressed as Temmor cursed loudly, and she bent to his face. “ You are so very lucky that conversation did not go any further. You almost sent yourself to Dremstone .” She rose and addressed Flynn once more. “ Inform their commanders of their leave of duty from the Runners . And tighten up the barrels of ale.”

Flynn nodded, calling out to more Runners to help lift them up off the ground. They limped away, Temmor more so as the heel of my shoe had somehow found its way slammed into the top of his boot.

Lanna smirked at me, folding her arms.

“ What’s Dremstone ?” I asked.

“ A prison in the Attatok Mountains . There aren’t many prisoners there, but enough that everyone knows of it. I’m sorry you had to endure that.”

“ Thank you for cutting in. I don’t think my punch would have been as effective as yours.”

She reached out, squeezing my bicep. “ I don’t know, Sae , I think with some training, you’d have a place in the Runners .”

I laughed with her and she jerked her head to the southern side of the city walls. I followed her, adjusting my gait so the thin heels of my shoes didn’t sink into the ash covered dirt.

She paused and touched my shoulder. “ Just …don’t tell Thevin about that if you don’t mind. I’d hate to have to officially reprimand him for what he’d do about it.”

“ Noted ,” I replied. “ How are things going out here?”

“ Better now that we have a solidified plan.” She stopped, her eyes trailing the long line of tents outside of the city. “ I meant what I said at the gathering. If you change your mind?—”

“ I won’t,” I assured. “ Thank you for sticking up for me in there.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “ And back there.”

“ You’re welcome,” she said, but her smile faltered. “ I truly hope your father is found and saved from…wherever he is.”

“ You …you remember him fondly, don’t you?”

“ Yes . He was always so kind to me, though I’d only met him twice. The last time, he promised to fight monsters in Felgren with me someday.”

“ Monsters ?” I kept at her side as we moved on. “ There are no monsters in Felgren .”

She shrugged. “ He wasn’t sure if there were or not. But he spoke of great fae warriors who fought them. Maybe they killed them off— I don’t know Felgren history. Even if it was just a story, Baron Revich spoke kindly to me and admired my desire to fight instead of trying to drown it like my mother did. I don’t doubt that he left because he felt he had to. And that is worth something in itself, Sae .”

I choked down my tears, stopping her and pulling her into an embrace. She didn’t laugh or deny me what I believed we both needed and hugged me back.

I swallowed and squeezed her tightly. “ It is obvious to me why Thevin has chosen you as such a close friend.”

She did laugh at that, replying with a tight squeeze. “ And the reason he chose you for a certain role in his life is clear to me as well.”

“ Did he tell you—” I started, pulling back from her arms.

She held up a hand. “ He hasn’t said a word. In fact, he refuses to tell me anything, even though I can read him like a book I wrote myself.” She shrugged. “ His feelings for you are obvious to anyone who gets a glimpse of you two side by side for five seconds.”

I grimaced at that, thinking of all the times we’d laughed carefree together, danced together, held hands for no reason other than to just be touching.

She continued, “ All I’m saying is that he’s been…moody and a bit more…defensive of you since you left Felgren . Don’t get me wrong, he talks about you constantly to anyone who will listen, but actually seeing him around you…”—she blew a puff of air from her lips—“it’s a whole other thing.”

I tilted my head back, wanting to scream my frustrations into the cooling night air. The stars above winked back at me, the moon a hazy green hue from my mother’s shield she held all the way to the Blight Line a few hundred feet from us.

“ Alright , I’ve said what I wanted to say about it. C’mon .” She pulled me along and I chewed on my lip, my mind a whirl of what exactly I’d say to Thevin tonight and how I’d say it.

She brought me to a dark blue tent with a pattern of thistle hurriedly sewn across its flaps. “ Thevin !” she called. “ Someone’s here to see you!”

He stepped out barefoot, obviously preparing for sleep. An unmistakable joy danced in his pale blue eyes as he reached for me with a wide grin. “ Sae ! What are you doing all the way out here?”

“ Good question,” Lanna mumbled and we both glared at her. “ Fine , I’m leaving. I’ll be right over there in my tent when you’re ready to head back to the castle.”

“ My mother asked for Thevin to bring me back,” I said quickly as she stepped away.

I heard her laughter, but she didn’t turn around, replying loudly, “ Interesting . I wonder why.”

“ Yes ,” Thevin started, “she’s always like that.”

I shrugged, laughing, “ I don’t mind it so much. I like her.”

I shifted on my feet, a sharp pain lancing through the arch of my right foot. Thevin glanced down, then back to my face with one brow raised. Without a word, he knelt, swiftly pulling back the hem of my gown to unbuckle my left shoe around my ankle. My cheeks grew hot and as I reached out to his shoulder for support, I felt his fingers next at my right. He lifted one ankle, sliding the high-heel from my foot, then did the same for the other.

“ Better ?” he asked, rising from the ground.

“ Much ,” I managed to say, taking the shoes from his hands and holding them to my chest.

I wiggled my toes and he said, “ Come in. You’ll get filthy out here.”

He opened the flap of his tent, and I jumped toward it, skipping over the ashes and onto a purple rug that looked far past its prime.

He poured something into a mug and handed it to me. I took it, sipping gingerly and finding weak but warm chamomile tea. “ How are things?” I began, sitting on his cot and patting the space beside me.

He sighed and joined me, taking the mug as I offered the rest to him. “ As good as we could expect.” He downed the rest and set it back on the small table. “ The Runners are celebrating the win tonight with bad ale and high spirits.”

“ You didn’t want to join them?”

“ Not this time.” He rubbed his face and I resisted the urge to push back the curls that fell into it. He leaned his head on his fist, looking at me. “ Are you sure about this whole ‘use me as bait’ thing?”

I mirrored his pose. “ Yes , I’m sure.”

“ I’m not.”

“ Why ?”

“ Because , Sae , you’re offering yourself up to the Blightress without really understanding the risks.”

“ Maybe it doesn’t matter what I understand. Maybe what really matters is that this is the best plan we’ve got, and I’m ready to be a part of this end.”

“ I’m not ready to offer you up on a silver platter.”

“ You don’t get to decide what platter I lay upon.”

“ Maybe I should.”

“ Maybe you’re afraid of the possible outcomes, and your fear is talking.”

“ Maybe one of us should listen to their fear a little more.”

“ Maybe —”

The ragged snarl of a creature raged outside of the tent. Thevin was on his feet in an instant, reaching for his sword by the opening. “ Stay here!” he called and left, racing barefoot into the night.

I opened the flaps and gulped down a blood-curdling scream as a stream of undead muri crawled their way out from under the city walls. There were at least two dozen of them ravaging their way across the line of tents, some still pulling themselves out from the earth caved in under the stone.

A mob of Runners fought, their swords swinging through the air, cutting them down one by one. The sound of battle filled my ears, and I covered them, screaming into the chaos, “ Revertayden en tepiore!”

“ The Runners are celebrating the win tonight with bad ale and high spirits.”

I heard Thevin’s voice and inhaled sharply, grabbing my head and gritting my teeth at finding myself back in his tent, sitting on his cot. I didn’t hesitate, though, rushing to the tent flap and screaming into the night. “ Blighted muri! They’re coming from there!”

At my scream, several more flaps opened and the guards at the Blight Line rushed forward as the undead beasts began their crawl from under the stones. Thevin pushed me behind him, sword already in hand as he ran forward, slashing through the head of the first one out of the ditch.

“ I need a Wieldwryn now!” he shouted, and the call fell down the line, echoing from Runner to Runner until I saw the flash of red skirts from an agricola conduit flying out of a tent and coming to our aid.

I stepped back, wondering if I’d given them enough warning, wondering if I could somehow push myself to go back even further.

The Wieldwryn arrived, just as two more beasts flew through the air, jumping at an impossible distance, but pierced through mid leap by a wall of green vines that sprouted from the earth. The Wieldwryn enclosed the hole beneath the stone wall with more of her brambles, cutting off the path for the rest of them. “ Simulair Solum ! ” she screamed, erecting a ball of yellow light and forcing it into the hole. Ash fell all around us as she destroyed the rest of the beasts, cutting the fight short before it had really begun.

I ran to Thevin , who held a hand out, keeping me behind him as we watched the ash settle. The Wieldwryn retracted her wall of thorns and, with Runners at her side, stepped forward, looking down into the pit.

“ We’re clear!” a Runner shouted, and cheers went up around us. Several soldiers patted each other on the back, dusting ash from their faces and hair.

Thevin backed away from the wide ditch under the stone wall and called to the Runners . “ I want every available soldier inspecting the wall around the entire castle. Pair off and take a Wieldwryn with you. You’re looking for loose soil that has caved in slightly. Shout if you find one and do not hesitate to cover it.”

Calls of “ Yes , sir!” followed his command and the soldiers moved out, repeating their orders down the line of tents.

He grabbed my hand, hauling me closer to the cavity where they had come from, peering down. “ How did you know?” he whispered harshly.

I stood at the edge, getting a glimpse of leftover ash and what could have lost us good soldiers. “ I - I just?—”

He sheathed his sword and lifted my chin, forcing me to face him. “ Lies . You’ve been lying since last night when the Blightress came to the Spire . I cannot keep you safe if I don’t know how you?—”

I heard the crumble of stone before he was done, and without a single moment to release any spell from my lips, I pushed him into the ditch, landing on top of him, and raising my hand above us. A brilliant white light formed in a dome, shielding the pit from the crumpling stones of the caved castle wall. Massive bricks tumbled down like a sea of water, toppling over the shield I held. He gripped my sides hard, attempting to turn me over and cover me with his own body.

I held his sides tightly with my legs, refusing to budge as the last of the bricks fell. Panting , I lowered my hand, though my shield remained, lighting the space enough for me to see his face.

I laughed in submission to my heart, my eyes brimming with tears as I shook my head in disbelief. “ I love you,” I confessed, upturning my hands and letting them fall back to my sides in defeat.

“ Sae ,” he whispered softly, his grip on my hips tightening. “ You don’t have to?—”

I covered his mouth, leaning over his chest and bracing myself with my other hand. “ Shut up , Thevin .”

His eyes narrowed, but I ignored whatever retort he wanted to say, keeping him quiet for just a moment so I could confess all of it. “ I have loved you since we were fifteen years old. I loved you the year after that and this year after that. And I should have said it then.” I shook my head, a single tear falling from my face to my hand still covering his mouth. “ I should have told you all of it that day we danced for the first time and you tried to tell me how you felt. I was so stupid, Thevin . You tried to tell me everything, and I was so scared of eventually losing you, I just…”

I huffed another laugh, releasing my hand from his mouth but continuing. “ Whatever comes next, whatever we’re about to face, I cannot go another moment without you knowing what is in my heart. What your smile does to me .” I pressed a hand to my chest. “ I feel you here as you’ve always been, and I refuse to lie and pretend like I do not ease with the warmth of you at my side. Like I do not crave your touch or the comfort of your embrace, or wish to be wrapped in your arms where I want to spend all of my time.”

I leaned back, straightening over his hips, wiping a hand across my face. “ I love you, Thevin , Runner in the Four’s Army , Thorn in My Side a Good Quarter of the Time , and Horrible Lumen Rider .” I lifted my hands in the air one more time. “ I love you because you are brilliant, and funny, and kind. You live like you care more than you ever admit, and I don’t want another three seasons without you. I don’t want to return to Felgren , waiting for you to come home, waiting for the signs of spring’s end so that I can see you again, pretending I don’t want to keep you forever.”

His eyes paled like a flash of lightning across a dark horizon. He swallowed hard, murmuring low, “ You done?”

“ Yes .”

“ Good .”

He lifted himself to meet me, taking my face into his hands, and slamming his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms around him, seating myself fully in his lap, pressing my chest to his, my lips roaming his, pushing for his mouth to open so I could taste what I’d been craving since the kiss we shared the night before.

A low grumble came deep from his chest as his hands began to roam down the sides of my body, slowly and agonizing as I felt a tumble of aches deep in my soul. He lit within me a fire I hadn’t known was simmering just under the surface of my skin. I urged it forth, ready to burn under his touch, under his fingers as they shifted across my backside, following the length of my thighs, pulling me further onto his lap.

I didn’t know much, but I knew he wanted me, and I him, our mouths wandering, our hands exploring in a black pit of earth under fallen stones of an old castle wall.

“ Is anyone down there?”

We heard the call, even through my high moans and the sound of our hearts pounding together in one harmonious beat, our breathing sharp and heavy all at once.

He slowed his kiss, one hand leaving the strokes of my legs to cup my cheek. He ran his thumb across my skin, a challenging smile on his lips. “ A quarter of the time, huh?”

“ At least,” I replied, unable to contain my wide grin.

“ Hello ?” the call came again, followed by another voice which said, “ I see magic. There must be a Wieldwryn trapped down there.”

“ We can’t stay here,” Thevin said, stealing another soft kiss.

“ No ,” I admitted, kissing him lightly back.

“ I didn’t say that right.” He tilted my chin upwards, breathing over my lips. “ I would gladly stay here with you, like this, for as long as you’d let me, but I’m afraid they’ll start shoveling these bricks away any moment, and I’d hate for them to see you as I get to…” A lazy smirk crossed his mouth. “ Utterly beautiful and lush as this.”

A heat, new and exciting, pooled within me—that flame bursting forth again, and I followed the urge to continue, settling my lips back onto his, relishing in his sigh of frustration.

“ There ! I see two of them!”

He lifted me off his lap in a hurry, his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me as close to him as we could while voices shouted above us and the view opened up to reveal faces even in the hazy dim of my light. They cleared a path and I let my shield fall, coughing in the dust left from the slide of stone. A hand reached down for me, and I took it, heaving my way out of the hole with Thevin’s help pushing me through. We exited coughing, wiping debris from our clothes, Thevin’s hand sliding into mine.

“ That was good thinking, Miss .” One of our saviors nodded toward me. She clapped Thevin on the back and said, “ Glad we didn’t lose two of our highest ranks in one night.”

“ Two ?” Thevin asked.

“ Commander Lanna ,” she began, “she?—”

Thevin didn’t wait to hear, running to Lanna’s tent with me at his side. He yanked the flap and I gasped at the blood.

“ She’s not—” I started.

A woman stopped me, bent over Lanna’s body on her cot. “ No . She is not dead. She has been badly wounded by one of those beasts. Apparently , a few had crept out from under the gates before we heard your call. One of them came here.”

Thevin dropped my hand, stepping closer and grimacing at the open gashes on Lanna’s leg. A pool of rosy power spread over her body.

“ Will she be alright?” he whispered, watching the face of his friend. Her eyes were closed, blood splattered across her cheeks. “ Will she walk again?”

“ I believe so,” the medicus Wieldwryn muttered, continuing her movements.

I swallowed my fear and stepped forward, my heart racing at the gaping torn flesh across her right thigh. The woman’s power slowly staunched the blood, mending her tendons and muscle. I turned, ready to heave the contents of my stomach and cry all at once.

I’d been too late.

I couldn’t go back and fix this, regardless of how much I wanted to. Too much time had passed.

“ Have the Four been informed?” Thevin questioned.

“ I don’t know. Commander Ashton came to look her over. I assume he’ll inform them.”

Thevin squeezed Lanna’s shoulder once, then turned to me, the passion we’d just shared in my confession now changed to something else on his face. His eyes were a piercing lance, seeking answers to questions I still had the responsibility to tell him.

“ I’ll be escorting Saelyn back to the castle and return soon. Thank you, Aeytah .”

She waved a hand to him in dismissal, focusing on her patient. We left, Thevin grabbing a pair of Lanna’s boots and handing them to me as we walked back to his tent. We stepped inside and he was silent for a moment, pulling his ashen feet into one of his boots and then the other.

I followed his movement, wanting nothing more than to rip my gown off in frustration, knowing it was ridiculous attire for the Blight Line . The green hue was nothing more than a dusty gray, and I paled in realizing I was a woman playing dress up in the midst of real war with real consequences for not thinking through my actions.

I should have noticed Lanna was not with us.

I should have ran to her tent first.

Instead , I’d fallen into a hole with Thevin , pouring my heart out and kissing him while she lay torn and bleeding from the undead muri which had crept into her tent.

Thevin rose from his cot, standing tall and stiff in front of me, forcing my head back to see his face. He brushed a thumb across my chin, no doubt wiping away a smear of ash, the same that lined his own skin.

“ You’ve been keeping more from me, Sae . More secrets than that you’ve loved me since we were fifteen.”

I gulped and nodded.

“ Why won’t you tell me?”

“ It could change everything.”

“ It will not change my feelings for you, if that’s what you fear.” He pulled my hand from my side, pressing it to his heart. “ You cannot change those. I could live my entire life loving you like this, only to beg for a thousand lives more.”

I arched my feet, bringing myself up to his lips. I kissed him softly, once, just one more time before I changed both of our lives forever.

I stepped back, leaving space between us which begged to close and stated, “ I have been able to reverse time since I was fourteen years old.”

His brow furrowed. “ Reverse time? How ?”

“ I … I don’t know exactly, but just like with all the other spells I’ve made, this one works just as well. I can reverse time by one minute, and I need to prove it to you.”

He folded his arms across his chest, nodding to me once.

I ignored the shiver that ran through me, ignored the ever-stinging jab of guilt I held about too much meddling with time. I wondered briefly what the Blightress would think of me reversing time twice in one night. “ Think of a memory or a thought. One you’ve kept to yourself and only you know of.”

He thought for a moment while I tried to keep track of the seconds that ticked by. He nodded once, confirming he had something in mind.

“ Tell me what it is. I will reverse time to the beginning of this conversation and then tell you what you’re thinking of.”

He gave a grunt of disbelief. “ Fine . I was thinking of the moment before I jumped into the Hatchery pool and you were lying in the sun, drying yourself across the white stone. I thought to myself then that I could get through every one of my days, every battle I had left to fight, if it just meant I got to see you at the end of it.”

I smiled in my agony, most of me wanting to stay here, to go to him and hold him, promising he would.

I took a deep breath, murmuring, “ Revertayden en tepiore .”

I blinked, focusing my gaze as Thevin asked, “ Reverse time? How ?”

I gulped, needing to recreate this conversation as closely to what it had been before. “ I don’t know exactly, but just like the other spells I’ve made, this one works just as well.” I paused, thinking of what else I’d said. “ I can reverse time by one minute and prove it to you.”

He again and for the first time, folded his arms across his chest, nodding for me to continue.

“ Think of a memory—” I choked for a moment, hoping he’d think of the same thing. “ Think of a memory or a thought you’ve kept to yourself so no one else knows.”

I waited for him to confirm he had it with a nod.

I shuffled closer slightly, my voice barely above a whisper. “ You’re thinking of how you looked down at me drying in the sun at the Hatchery pool.”

His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side, but I went on.

“ You’re thinking about how you thought to yourself that you could get through all of your days, all of your battles left to fight, if you could just see me at the end of them.”

Disbelief crossed his face and he shook his head slightly. “ You can’t know that.”

I stepped closer, closing our gap, reaching for his arms tightly flexed across his chest. “ I do know that. I know because you told me.”

“ I’ve …never admitted that to you.”

“ You did,” I persisted, slipping my hands into his, still tucked across his chest. “ We’ve already started this conversation. I told you I would ask you this question, you’d give me your answer, and I’d reverse time, able to tell you the memory you had chosen.”

“ You …you’ve been able to do this for three years?” he asked low, the slightest hint of frustration in his tone.

“ Yes .”

“ Who knows?”

“ You .”

“ Not your mother or Pompeii ?”

I shook my head. “ I’ve never told anyone before now.”

“ The muri,” he started, clarity reaching his eyes, “the Blightress …you knew she was coming because you had reversed time. You knew she would come, and you saved us all.”

“ It took me two tries, but yes. I had to stop what would have happened.”

“ Lanna …” he trailed, his face tightening.

My lips quivered. “ I didn’t know or I would have fixed it. I would have gone to her first, but I didn’t know and then too much time had passed and there was nothing I could do.”

“ Hey …” He unfolded his arms, cupping my hands to his chest. “ I refuse to believe that was your fault. You’ve been given this power, but it doesn’t mean you will have the chance to fix everything that could happen.”

“ I would have, though.”

“ I know.” He pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me. “ How many times have you done this between the two of us?”

“ Just that one,” I mumbled, my face pressed fully into his shirt, which somehow still smelled of home.

His body shook in a chuckle. “ You’ve done better than I would have. I think I’d repeat both of your kisses at least a dozen times more before I’d be ready to let go of them.”

I tilted my head back and laughed when he caught my lips into another kiss. We swayed for a moment, the only two people in the world.

“ I almost did it once. That night we were dancing and you told me how our relationship was changing at a pace we couldn’t slow. And then you told me the risk would be worth it, and I almost did it. I almost reversed time to admit that you were right.”

“ It doesn’t matter now,” he started, holding my chin.

“ It does,” I urged. “ It matters to me that you understand why. I’ve always been…afraid to lose those I love. I watched my mother grieve over my father all my life. I’ve been afraid every moment that I could also succumb to such a fate. That I could one day feel the depths of her sorrow, and so I’ve held onto everyone I love in a desperate grip, unwilling to change a single part of my life for fear of the risk of losing them.”

He listened quietly, stroking my cheek.

I bit my lip and continued, “ That day, I told you I didn’t want to risk losing you. But by not telling you the truth, I risked losing you anyway, and I won’t stand still any longer. I won’t wait around, afraid to move for where my steps might lead me.”

“ I love you, Sae ,” he said.

I sighed contentedly. “ I love you, too.”

He cocked a brow. “ What about that quarter of the time?”

I lifted my chin, rising on the tips of my toes to meet him in a kiss again, mumbling on his lips, “ Shut up and kiss me, Thevin .”