Page 33

Chapter 33

Thevin

The flickering of my mother’s eyes across the table didn’t help. Her piercing blue stare fell on me consistently throughout that endless dinner, and I shifted uncomfortably for the hundredth time. It was difficult enough to keep my eyes off Saelyn in that damned dress, let alone keep up with the conversation around me after trying to focus on that droning speech of Viceroy Mediyr’s .

I wouldn’t be surprised if not a single person at this table heard what he had to say, instead focusing on the daughter of the Baron in her pale blue shift that shimmered in the waning sunlight, lighting her up as if in awe of her beauty. Every line, every curve of her body was held in shape by the pale blue fabric that clung to her backside, and torso, and breasts. The cut of the top curved wide to show the world just how perfect she was. Her long legs, accentuated by the high shoes she wore, were left bare of any fabric but the sheer tulle. Her calves, her knees, her creamy thighs—anyone could see the shape of all of it, and I was sure I wasn’t the only one looking.

I was plenty experienced with the beauty of a woman’s body, but when I had seen Sae speaking with Lanna , I’d just stood there, dumfounded. I was well aware of the fashion of the Spire , which tended to more acknowledge a woman’s body than hide it, but when Sae wore that gown—that color—the palest blue that set her dark hair and pale skin into the ode of a brilliant summer sky…

I chewed my food by habit alone, unsure of what I’d eaten, my skin too tight, my seat too hard, my heart bickering with my mind on what action I should do next—answer the question Saelyn had just asked me or turn her chin and kiss her.

“ Huh ?” I responded like an idiot, decidedly not caressing her cheek to kiss her lips in front of all these people.

“ I said, how is your chest?” she repeated for me.

“ My chest?” I looked down at my blue jacket to see if I’d spilled something.

She cocked her head in irritation. “ From that tail slap you received today from the enormous white fish you swam with?”

Her annoyance snapped me out of my stupor long enough to respond in my usual casual flirtation. “ Not sure, we’d better look together tonight.”

By the breath of the Baron in front of me , my cheeks heated as Sae opened her mouth wide, looking around the table to see if anyone else heard.

I recovered from my own shock and playfully nudged her arm. “ I’m joking, Sae . It’s fine. A little bruising. Nothing permanent.”

“ You should see a healer then, like Clairannia said.”

I forced another bite of what looked like some kind of root vegetable. “ They’re rare these days and busy with real work. It will heal on its own.”

She twisted her lips but nodded.

By the time dessert was served, I’d had just about all I could take sitting next to her, hearing her laugh at something the guest on her right said about her spoon. I scoffed under my breath, doubting it was as funny as Sae made it seem. Surely , she was just being polite.

I took my pitiful longing gaze away from her and rose, excusing myself to step away for just one relaxing moment to breathe. More people were finishing their food and rising to mingle before the Song of Remembrance and Ceremonial Dance began. I stepped away to an open ledge furthest from the table. Leaning over the balcony’s edge, I inhaled the dusk air which settled on the city like a warm blanket in a soft bed, or a warm body, its simple presence there to tell you you’re not alone.

“ Why don’t you just tell her?”

I exhaled into the breeze, long and slow. Quiet as ever, Lanna sidled up next to me, mirroring my leaning over the rail while flicking her pocket knife rapidly between her fingers.

“ If that falls, you could kill someone,” I muttered, rubbing my face.

“ Good thing I’m quick with my fingers.” She winked and slid the knife between her forefinger and middle, flicking it into the air to spin before snapping it back into her palm just before it fell beyond her reach.

“ Show off.”

“ So ?” she insisted, “ Why don’t you confess your feelings to Saelyn ? Get it over with. Like ripping a bloody bandage from your skin.” She patted my chest where she knew my scars remained.

I flinched as she smacked my bruise, shuffling away slightly so she couldn’t tease me about this afternoon.

“ She knows.” I shrugged, even though my heart fell to my stomach.

Her brows rose and her mouth turned downward. “ After all that moping last winter, you finally told her?” She gave a grunt when I didn’t respond. “ That bad, huh?”

“ No , it wasn’t bad, she just…” I stole a glance behind me, Lanna’s gaze following. Sae lingered at the table, this time deep in conversation with her seat mate, a young male channeler I’d met on occasion who was due to train in Felgren in the next rounds. “ She said she didn’t want to risk our friendship,” I finished. “ And that was the end of it.”

Lanna huffed. “ Why do I feel like that’s not even close to the end of it?”

“ It is.” I eyed her, my words heated. “ She was very clear on what she wants from me and that is only friendship. So I will give her friendship. And I will make it through more of these damn dinners where she wears something like that ,”— I jabbed a thumb behind me—“and I will be what she needs me to be. Just like it was before I opened my stupid mouth and put her in an uncomfortable position. I won’t do that again, and I won’t let her try to apologize for how she feels.”

Lanna barked a laugh. “ Oh , so you get to decide how she feels about it?”

“ She doesn’t want more than what we had before, Lanna .”

Her lips bubbled as she blew air out of her mouth. “ Whatever happened between the two of you back in Felgren , she’s had time to think about it now. Whatever ridiculous confession you said to her with that silver tongue of yours, she’s been able to sit with. So , if she has more to say, let her say it.”

“ I don’t want her to pity me and start something she’ll later regret.”

“ Thevin , you are a fool.”

I frowned, crossing my arms and turning my back on the balcony, staring down at my boots.

“ In the accumulated mere hour I've been in Saelyn's presence, there was one single person on her mind. Can you guess who?”

“ The Viceroy ?”

She laughed, pulling her head back and grabbing her chest. “ A fool indeed, Thevin of Felgren .” She slapped a hand across my back. “ Part of me hopes she doesn’t tell you her true feelings for a little while longer because Pining Thevin is much more fun to tease than Runner Thevin .”

I huffed a laugh. “ Speaking of, any news from the Blight Line ?”

“ Yes . The news is, it’s been quiet. Strangely quiet. It’s got the Wieldwryns spooked. We head out there tomorrow to prepare for the Dimming , but something feels…off.”

“ Do you know our assignment?”

“ It depends.” She scratched the back of her head, loosening the golden braid pinned there. “ Shit ,” she mumbled as her braid toppled down her back. “ I’m about ready to take my own blade to all of this,” she said, holding up the long length of her locks.

“ Depends on what?” I pressed.

She sighed, dropping her hair and mimicking my stance with her back against the railing. “ Depends on the Baron .” She nodded toward Sae who had just stood, adjusting her gossamer gown and looking around the room. “ Saelyn is rumored to have immense power. Enough to change the tides.”

I nodded slightly. “ She’s more powerful than anyone realizes. We need her. As much as I hate to admit it.”

“ What have you seen her do exactly?”

“ I’ll let her explain. Tonight . At the gathering.”

“ Hmm . Not spilling her secrets to your commander? You’re worse off than I thought.”

I chuckled, smiling at Sae as she headed toward us.

Folding her hands in front of her, she said, “ Next up is the Ceremonial Dance to the Song of Remembrance . Is that right?” Before either of us could answer, she turned her back to match our casual pose, leaning in to whisper, “ How’m I doing?”

“ Perfect ,” I whispered back.

Lanna pushed off the rail to complete a circle of the three of us. “ I must say, Saelyn of Felgren , I’m impressed with how well you know our customs already. The dress, the shoes, the eating of the Rudismar , and now the Ceremonial Dance .”

Sae visibly gulped. “ The Rudismar was a bit difficult for me, but Thevin gave me hope.” She elbowed me. “ He ate his in one bite.”

“ The Rudismar ?” Lanna asked in disbelief. “ I’ve never seen Thevin even attempt it.”

I didn’t remember eating it. I’d never been one for raw seafood, let alone topped with powdered pearls. “ It wasn’t so bad,” I replied.

“ I’m glad I tried it,” Sae continued, “but I’m not sure it’s to my taste.”

Lanna made a face. “ It’s to no one’s taste. It’s a stupid tradition.”

A low hum echoed through the room, signaling the start of the dance and song.

“ It’s starting!” Sae said giddily. She pulled my hand from where I’d crossed my arms at my chest. “ Will you dance with me?”

Lanna waved a hand dismissively. “ Thevin doesn’t dance.”

I glared at her. “ I don’t mind it.”

She huffed and shook her head. “ I’ve never once seen you dance at these gatherings. You always stand here like this.”

“ Maybe I just don’t want to dance with you .”

Sae’s eyes darted back and forth between us as we bickered.

Lanna pretended offense, patting her chest. “ How could you offend me so?” A smile tugged at her mouth. “ And in front of my new friend, too.”

“ You’ll get over it. Besides ,“— I pointed across the room to the Viceroy’s daughter, Malla —“ I see someone who could stand dancing with you for more than two seconds.”

Lanna’s face fell as she followed my point. “ She’s no longer interested in dancing with me.”

I smirked. “ Now who’s not trying hard enough?”

She rolled her eyes, winked at Sae , and left, headed to the musician at the front of the room.

I turned my attention back to Sae , only to see her gnawing on her lip repeatedly.

“ Hey .” I rubbed her shoulder. “ You alright?”

She was silent for a moment, watching Lanna join the Viceroy at the front of the crowd as the singer I recognized as Pynth stepped onto a box laid down on the floor. She was a talented woman and it was true what Lanna had said. I preferred to keep to the back of the room and listen to the Song of Remembrance alone. But if Sae wanted to dance, then we’d dance.

The music began and couples flowed out to the cleared floor. The first lyric lifted through the room, accompanied by a single violin.

“ A song to give voice to those we’ve lost, a song to take time to remember them .”

I pulled Sae out of her trance, leading her onto the dance floor where I took her hands, placing them on my shoulders, grabbing her waist.

She laughed nervously, avoiding my eyes, still chewing on that lip and watching the musician as Pynth sang,

“ Their lives at a cost, their stories at end, and a song to take time to remember them. ”

“ It’s a beautiful song,” she murmured.

“ What are you thinking about?” I tilted my head, recognizing her hesitancy as we danced.

She cleared her throat, finally meeting my gaze. “ You and Lanna …you’re close?”

I shrugged. “ Yes . We’ve been friends for many years. She commands the Runners , and I’ve been conscripted into that army since I was fifteen.”

She nodded and the song continued,

“ The mountains, the forest, the seaside, and plains, we sing a song to remember them. ”

“ And have you ever…” She hesitated and I pulled her just a little closer. “ Have you ever been more than friends?”

I tilted my head back in laughter, instantly disturbing the peaceful quiet of the song and murmuring my apology to those around us. “ No , Sae . We’re friends. That’s it. Lanna prefers women in that regard anyway.”

“ Oh ,” Sae said, her cheeks reddening. “ I just thought that because you seemed so close that maybe there was something more there.”

“ Never ,” I assured her. “ She feels like a big sister, really.” I shrugged again. “ Or what I imagine a sister would be like.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “ I’ve enjoyed this day.” A wide, toothy grin swept over her mouth. “ Almost drownings and all. Thank you for taking me out. It’s helped to keep my mind off of my father.”

I squeezed her waist. “ You’re welcome. I enjoyed our day, too.”

I couldn’t help it. My eyes lingered at her mouth, and I stepped imperceptibly closer as the song came to its last line.

“ We cannot reverse what’s come at great cost, but we can take the time to remember them. ”

The last note sounded and everyone in the room turned to clap. Everyone except Sae and I . We held each other still, the sound of cheers surrounding us. I hardly heard them. Our eyes were locked, our hands on each other’s bodies, refusing to let each other go.

I told myself to take my hands from her waist, to turn and clap with the others, but I simply didn’t want to.

She opened her mouth and took a deep breath, her eyes a sparkle of deep blue. “ Thevin , I? —”

BOOM .

A rupture beyond the tower rumbled, and I pulled Sae down to the floor, covering her huddled body with my own. Screams flew through the room and people began to run as great black clouds billowed in on the orange glow of the sun entering the dining hall. Haunting snarls bellowed through the air and great black vines slithered over the arched balconies, quickly followed by the beasts who climbed them.

I grabbed Sae under her arm, yanking her up and heading for the stairwell that led down the Spire just as blood cut through the air in a familiar tang of iron and salt. Cries of pain and fear drummed through my ears, and I ignored them all, my sole task to get Sae to safety. Her tears tracked down her cheeks as she looked back in horror at the massacre behind us. I caught a quick glimpse to assess the level of danger, counting no less than twenty Blight beasts that tore through the room, followed swiftly by the one woman we all feared most.

The Blightress had come for Saelyn .