Page 75
Story: You Started It
“Nice meeting you, Jamie,” Finn says before he and Diesel head to the bus stop. There’s a beat of silence as Axel’s friends walk away, leaving an odd trifecta of people behind.
“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Dad says.
“It’s what you do best,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
He reaches into his back pocket and opens his wallet, handing me a small piece of cardstock. “It’s a business card,” he says, a strained smile on his face. “You can reach me anytime.”
“Sure,” I say, knowing it’s just a hollow gesture. “Whatever.”
“Can I have a hug?” Dad asks as Axel stands by.
I swallow and release a breath. “Okay.”
My father’s arms envelope me in a tight bear hug, but I can’t seem to let myself unclench my shoulders from my neck long enough to return the sentiment.
Dad steps back and extends a hand out to Axel. Axel accepts it with apprehension.
My father heads inside the bar and I watch as the door closes behind him. Axel comes into my line of vision but doesn’t speak.
“So, that was my third surprise,” I say, my tone devoid of emotion. “The big one, I assume.”
“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” he says, exhaling a deep breath. “Especially after what you did for me and my dad. I wanted to repay the favor.”
“You thought hunting down the man I haven’t seen or spoken to in over three years was ‘repaying the favor’?” I ask, my eyes wide. “You can’t compare your relationship with your father to mine. Your dad lives with you. He didn’t abandon you. All I did was bring your father to the dance floor and tell him to look up. This is completely different. You had no right inserting your nose into my business.”
He frowns. “I just thought if you could see him again, then maybe it would…I don’t know.”
“What? Fix me?”
“You hold back, Jamie. Even with me. And I guess I believed part of that was because of your dad. Maybe I did overstep. But I wanted to bring you two together again to at least open the lines of communication. All this time has passed and it’s goingto keep passing. And the problem with that is, the scars will never heal.”
“No. They won’t. Especially if someone you thought you trusted goes behind your back and picks at the scab.”
Axel looks down, his feet still. “I thought it would make you happy.”
“Clearly you don’t know me as well as you seem to think you do. But then again, why am I surprised? This was never meant to be something real.”
“Jamie, don’t do this,” Axel says, taking a cautious step toward me. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. But it doesn’t erase everything else.”
“Doesn’t it?” I ask, sucking in my cheeks. “I mean, really, everything about us was based on a lie. And someone who claims to know me, the real me, wouldn’t make this kind of decision. Face it, Axel. Our ‘relationship’ is as deep as a puddle.”
“You’re just trying to push me away by saying mean things. It won’t work. I’m not walking away from us. You’re not your mother and I’m not your father.”
“Right. My father didn’t send DMs behind my mother’s back.”
“What DMs?” Axel shakes his head. “What’re you talking about?”
“Olivia showed me proof of you sliding into her DMs and asking her out after Wonderland.”
He brings his fingers to the bridge of his nose and pinches it, releasing a deep sigh. “It’s not what you think.”
“Ben was right about you. And me.”
“What did Ben say about me?” Axel asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“He said you were shady. Which you’ve proven yourself to be. And that ultimately all you were to me was a distraction. Well guess what? My eyes are open now. I can see clearly again. Find your own way home.” I head to my car, slamming the door shut behind me. I want to cry. I want to scream. Every single personI’ve ever trusted has broken that trust in some shape or form. At a certain point I have to face the truth I’ve been trying to push away for years.
I’m unlikeableandunlovable.
“Maybe I should leave you two alone,” Dad says.
“It’s what you do best,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.
He reaches into his back pocket and opens his wallet, handing me a small piece of cardstock. “It’s a business card,” he says, a strained smile on his face. “You can reach me anytime.”
“Sure,” I say, knowing it’s just a hollow gesture. “Whatever.”
“Can I have a hug?” Dad asks as Axel stands by.
I swallow and release a breath. “Okay.”
My father’s arms envelope me in a tight bear hug, but I can’t seem to let myself unclench my shoulders from my neck long enough to return the sentiment.
Dad steps back and extends a hand out to Axel. Axel accepts it with apprehension.
My father heads inside the bar and I watch as the door closes behind him. Axel comes into my line of vision but doesn’t speak.
“So, that was my third surprise,” I say, my tone devoid of emotion. “The big one, I assume.”
“I just wanted to do something nice for you,” he says, exhaling a deep breath. “Especially after what you did for me and my dad. I wanted to repay the favor.”
“You thought hunting down the man I haven’t seen or spoken to in over three years was ‘repaying the favor’?” I ask, my eyes wide. “You can’t compare your relationship with your father to mine. Your dad lives with you. He didn’t abandon you. All I did was bring your father to the dance floor and tell him to look up. This is completely different. You had no right inserting your nose into my business.”
He frowns. “I just thought if you could see him again, then maybe it would…I don’t know.”
“What? Fix me?”
“You hold back, Jamie. Even with me. And I guess I believed part of that was because of your dad. Maybe I did overstep. But I wanted to bring you two together again to at least open the lines of communication. All this time has passed and it’s goingto keep passing. And the problem with that is, the scars will never heal.”
“No. They won’t. Especially if someone you thought you trusted goes behind your back and picks at the scab.”
Axel looks down, his feet still. “I thought it would make you happy.”
“Clearly you don’t know me as well as you seem to think you do. But then again, why am I surprised? This was never meant to be something real.”
“Jamie, don’t do this,” Axel says, taking a cautious step toward me. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. But it doesn’t erase everything else.”
“Doesn’t it?” I ask, sucking in my cheeks. “I mean, really, everything about us was based on a lie. And someone who claims to know me, the real me, wouldn’t make this kind of decision. Face it, Axel. Our ‘relationship’ is as deep as a puddle.”
“You’re just trying to push me away by saying mean things. It won’t work. I’m not walking away from us. You’re not your mother and I’m not your father.”
“Right. My father didn’t send DMs behind my mother’s back.”
“What DMs?” Axel shakes his head. “What’re you talking about?”
“Olivia showed me proof of you sliding into her DMs and asking her out after Wonderland.”
He brings his fingers to the bridge of his nose and pinches it, releasing a deep sigh. “It’s not what you think.”
“Ben was right about you. And me.”
“What did Ben say about me?” Axel asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“He said you were shady. Which you’ve proven yourself to be. And that ultimately all you were to me was a distraction. Well guess what? My eyes are open now. I can see clearly again. Find your own way home.” I head to my car, slamming the door shut behind me. I want to cry. I want to scream. Every single personI’ve ever trusted has broken that trust in some shape or form. At a certain point I have to face the truth I’ve been trying to push away for years.
I’m unlikeableandunlovable.
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