Page 84
Story: What I Should Have Felt
I watched him go, knowing that the rest of my team was waiting out front.
There was no way I’d ever forget Maria. She was my first friend when I’d left and became my sister, similar to Scottie. She’d made me feel normal and given me the courage to become something more. It had been her idea for me to go for the SEALs.
Maybe I should’ve spoken about her sooner, talked to someone sooner, or even attempted to reach out to her parents. But something had held my tongue, as if speaking of her memory would cause me to lose them. So, I’d merely carried a picture and her spirit with me through everything I’d done.
With a deep inhale, I shook my head and turned around. Despite the ache in my muscles and the exhaustion from the finality of this insane fucking chapter, I wandered through the warehouse and shoved open the door.
A smile spread upon my lips at the sight. A row of dumbasses sat in front of the rundown metal building. They were all zip-tied both around their wrists and ankles, with gags in their mouths and hard gravel beneath them. Robert O’Connor sat quietly in the middle with a thumb drive sitting in his lap.
Standing in a line across from them were almost all the people I cherished most in my life—plus Colette’s parents, who stood awkwardly off to the side. I shook my head as Scottie slung an arm around Mikey’s waist and he pulled her against his side. Jane beamed with pride up at Griffin, who looked to have lost a few years in age. As if this anticlimactic ending had brought some life back into him—we all knew he wasn’t entirely cut out for retirement.
Bernie tossed an arm around Kat’s shoulders as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and I assumed was regaling the tale of helping Scottie, Colette, and Jane at the high school with Azelie. He was grinning from ear to ear as she bounced from foot to foot.
My mawmaw was chatting up Dom, who shot me a glance that read “help me.” I merely chuckled as she dragged his attention back to her. My parents stood hand in hand, quietly surveying the scene behind my mawmaw and Dom.
All that was missing was Duncan.
“Dad!” Azelie shouted and darted away from Colette’s side.
I stared at her as she crashed into me and wrapped her arms around my waist. That was the second time she’d called me her dad. Warmth buzzed within me as I hugged her back and glanced up at Colette.
She smiled. Soft and inviting, sweeter than honeysuckle in the summer, and slowly made her way over toward me. Red curls bounced against her rosy cheeks, highlighted in the soft glow of the silver moonlight. Her bright green gaze held steady with mine, capturing my soul within its longing embrace.
We’d so quickly gone from not sure what was happening between us, to saying we loved each other, that I’d so casually expressed it as if it didn’t hold the weight that it did. If anything in our plans had gone wrong, she may have not been here after.
“That was so bad-ass,” Azelie said, muffled against my torso.
Suddenly, her head shot back, and she stared up at me. “Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to cuss,” she quickly added.
I smiled down at her. “I think this one time can be an exception. You handled things very well.”
“My acting was so good, wasn’t it?” She smiled as Colette stopped just an arm’s length away from us.
“Very believable,” I said, studying the woman I loved.
“Is this what you guys do all the time?” Azelie asked.
“Eh, some of it. Usually, there’s less pretending involved and a lot more violence and—”
“Ford,” Colette quickly inserted.
Azelie rolled her eyes. “Mom, I’ll be fifteen next week.”
“You’re not an adult yet,” Colette stated as Azelie stepped out of my embrace.
She pursed her lips and cocked a hip, looking so much like her mom. “I watched you literally get knife-fighting lessons from Mikey and use it against one of the dudes who tried to kidnap me at the school. I think some of the sheltering you’re still trying to do is no longer necessary,” Azelie countered.
I pulled my lips between my teeth and looked everywhere except for at the two women in front of me.
“Go talk to your grandparents or something,” Colette instructed.
“Yes, ma’am,” Azelie grumbled, and I returned my attention to those two as Azelie marched away. Gravel crunched beneath her shoes. She kept her arms crossed and her chin lifted to the sky. I couldn’t help but grin.
“She’s exactly like you,” I stated, and Colette gently slapped my arm. “Ow,” I added, rubbing the sore spot.
With a roll of her eyes, she stepped directly in front of me and looked up at me. The tension left her figure, and the stars twinkling above were as soft as her gaze. “I can’t wait to hear about Maria. She seemed to have meant a lot to you.”
“I wish you could’ve met her. She was the sister I never had.” I reached forward and gently tucked her coarse curls behind her ear. “You also handled all of that shit well. I almost believed those tears.”
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